desperateart

[desperateart]

"what if you regret it" what if I don't?

[desperateart]

Yesterday a kid said to me "excuse me? Your hair looks like beautiful anime hair" which is already amazing and then she said "watch me on your camera when I go down the slide I'm going to do the Peter Griffin death pose when I come out" and she sure did.

[desperateart]

went into a wine shop the other day to buy pasta and they did not have pasta but they were doing a wine tasting so i thought what the hell. and got to chatting with the other woman there because we had both just come from the library and were comparing our books and sipping wine and turns out we’re both teachers so we got on the topic of phones in classrooms—and the guy pouring our wine was like ‘that’s actually a point of contention in one of my divorces right now.’

and i very delicately said ‘one of your divorces?’ and his eyes got really big and he said I’M A PARALEGAL

[desperateart]

[desperateart]

Ralsei's first day in the light world's going just swell! 😃👍

[desperateart]

cant help but notice my porcelain critter figures are no longer arranged by height but by taxonomy. who could have done this

[desperateart]

[desperateart]

SM BABY! HOW DO YOU PICK YOUR COLORS??? They're so appealing to the eye honestly and I would (please) like to know how you choose the color schemes :D?

also the 60-30-10 rule

[desperateart]

absolute fucking king weird al encouraging proper means of watching his new biopic

[desperateart]

haha yeah man thats hilarious [suddenly lunges at you with my stupid rapier]

[desperateart]

Tasteful bulge? Yeah I would like a taste f- [I am interrupted by the sound of a dry twig snapping. This is impossible, as I am in the infinite linoleum bathroom dimension for this joke.]

[desperateart]

haters do not want you to know this but if you pick up something heavy every day it will eventually stop being quite as heavy. this is because the heavy thing, having witnessed your dedication, begins to yield its essence to you. and you, in turn, begin to absorb that essence into your own being. this is what makes people strong. the more essence you absorb, the stronger you become, and the more respect you command from the world around you.

[desperateart]

Me, Catholic, walking into a Protestant church with no depictions of Mary: where’s my mom

[desperateart]

I understand it’s difficult to be a parent but it’s time we start telling parents bluntly it’s not the internet responsibility to keep your child safe it’s your responsibility to keep your child safe on the internet

[desperateart]

Why the fuck are you 30+ on tumblr

this is my house?