diemthedarkmage

[diemthedarkmage]

Can baby Umamusume walk an hour after they’re born like irl horses, because if so I imagine some new parents taking their eyes off the stroller for one second only to find that the baby ran away

[diemthedarkmage]

every interaction between rice shower and haru urara is just like

rice shower: oh no, urara! this is all my fault! misfortune follows me wherever i go!

urara, having just been hit by an 18-wheeler: whoa! my leg has never been bent the wrong way before! this is fucking awesome!

[diemthedarkmage]

Reblogging so I have this

[diemthedarkmage]

Because civilization is grinding to a halt, city dwellers are feeling unfulfilled. Food is expensive. Nature is distant. Reaching nature is expensive. We are now urging the professional managers who rule over all of us to let us have chickens, at least. Chickens in our backyard, who will provide us with fresh eggs.

Of course, chickens are valuable for more than just their eggs. They eat all the nasty bugs that will destroy the crops you don't have. Your coworkers will thrill to the water-cooler stories of what Henrietta and Ms. Cluck-Clucks got up to this week. And when you're sick of their shit, well, you won't eat them. They're family now.

I'd sooner eat Aunt Edna. Don't think I don't know she's been talking shit about how old my tires are to my mom. Just because she married Bob Kal-Tire, the owner of the Kal Tire down the street, doesn't mean she can go around pretending she's not one of us anymore. If anything, she should be leaving the tire dumpster out back unlocked so I can help myself to some freshies. Where was I?

Oh yes, chickens. If there is one fault to be said about chickens, it's that they don't transport well. Being only slightly evolved dinosaurs, their tiny brains don't like the concept of going highway speeds. This differentiates themselves from the common dog, which loves the idea of jumping into the passenger seat of any moving vehicle and going as fast as possible. A chicken will instead start panicking and poop all over the place, which ruins your interior and, if I had actually used my real name and credit card to rent this Dodge Ram, costs you the damage deposit.

Another downside is that chickens are loud. I mean, really loud. So noisy that I wasn't able to watch my favourite car YouTubes to get to sleep last night, and I ended up hatching (no pun intended) a plan to get my neighbour's chickens back to nature. Plus, when I get home, the neighbour will be too busy looking for them to notice when I use their impact wrench to knock the wheels off this Ram. I need some new tires, after all.

[diemthedarkmage]

So that’s basically how it went down

[diemthedarkmage]

😭 he brings all his friends to meals

[diemthedarkmage]

Illuminaughtii would copy redstone builds of other hermits without understanding them and pretend the builds still worked, and Somerton would make his base out of copied parts of all the other hermits’ builds, minus Pearl and Gem, and would fill in any spaces left with dirt.

My predictions for who the two new hermits will be:

Skizzleman and TheMythicalSausage - this one's pretty much the safest guess. They've both worked with multiple hermits before

SmallishBeans and LDShadowLady - This one's another obvious one. I think their dynamic would make the server even more chaotic

Stampylongnose and Squaishey - These two are much less likely to join, but I'd be interested to see what they'd do on the Hermitcraft server

GoodTimesWithScar and Mumbo Jumbo - It's a pretty safe decision to add them as new members, considering they're already on the server

HBomb94 and CoughingBaby94 - HBomb is already friends with multiple hermits, and these two are basically a package deal

Iilluminaughtii and James Somerton - It's not like they have anything better to do

Two additional, smaller Grians - They can follow Regular-Sized Grian around and crack jokes

Two random dudes who have never played Minecraft before - It would be nice to give the smaller creators a spotlight

Every member of Quackity SMP fused into two giant flesh abominations - This could be an exciting way to bring the whole mcyt fandom together like never before

Doctor Dre and Snoop Dogg - Name a more iconic duo. I'll wait

Nebraska Man and Piltdown Man - Don't let the fact that they're well-known archaeological hoaxes fool you, these two are accomplished builders and redstoners, and they'd fit in well with the current server members

Ometecuhtli and Omecihuatl - It would be interesting to see what fun new dynamics two primordial Aztec creation deities bring to the server

The human personification of existential dread and fear of the inevitable passing of time and Martyn InTheLittleWood - both are familiar faces in the Hermitcraft community, and it's only a matter of time before they properly become hermits

[diemthedarkmage]

God I hope something happens

[diemthedarkmage]

Imagine if minecraft had tumblr

439 notes

💎 villager9 Follow

By the Nether, those blasted undeads have been especially bold! I fear our iron construct may not be able to hold out much longer...

19 notes

🟣 endergirlpearls Follow

remember the Herobrine scare in 2016 that we just. don't talk about anymore

______________________________________________________________

👓 white-eyes Follow

:(

______________________________________________________________

🟣 endergirlpearls Follow

What the fuck

100 notes

🗡 xxpro-gamerxx Follow

boy, this nether adventure is making me tired. Thank goodness I brought a bed!

-3 notes

🔺️redgineer Follow

What if I snort this?

______________________________________________________________

🔺️redgineer Follow

Hospital

87 notes

🟦 blue-tube-coral-block Follow

THREE CHEERS FOR GIRL RECTANGLE!!!

391 notes

👦 steveminecraft Follow

Where am I

[diemthedarkmage]

every piglin in a fifty mile radius turning aggro when my dogshit thirty durability golden boots shatter because i jumped off a one block incline

[diemthedarkmage]

i love in fantasy when its like “king galamir the mighty golden eagle and his most trusted advisor who would never betray him, gruelworm bloodeye the treacherous”

[diemthedarkmage]

I can’t remember the canon explanation, but it would be funny if in Transformers Armada the Minicons activated the gimmicks just like the toys. It’s like if Jolt plugs into Hot Shot and the big cannon comes out and he’s like “Oh, that’s what that was for.”

[diemthedarkmage]

Dear Vector Prime. In the Bayverse, who was the Watch That Killed Hitler?

Dear Watch Witness,

Why, it sounds to me like you're already familiar with Springtime’s deeds.