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“I’m not sure which is worse: intense feeling, or the absence of it.”

— Margaret Atwood, The Blind Assassin

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Sometimes it feels like you've lived your whole life in a house that's always a little bit on fire. Like it's usually just in one room and you make sure to wet the walls around it so it doesn't spread and that usually works. You were expected to take more responsibility over fire containment when you were like seven because it's not like you can expect your parents to always be 100% on guard about making sure the whole house doesn't catch fire, and you figure that's just how things are like.

And sometimes as a kid you visit your friends' homes and some of then whisper to you - grimacing with embarrassment - about how they're not supposed to tell anyone this, but there's a whole room in their house that's currently on fire. And you're like yeah it's ok I'm not supposed to tell people about the way our house is a little bit on fire all the time, too. And then you visit some other friend's house and there's no trace of fire anywhere, and you think "wow, these people are really good at hiding their house fire."

And one day you show up to work like "hey sorry I'm late, I forgot to wet the walls before going to bed last night and my whole house burned down", and you're startled by the way people react, acting like that must be the worst thing that has ever happened to you. And you're just like "chill, it's been years since the last time this happened, and it wasn't even that bad this time", and that just makes people more shocked, acting like that's the weirdest and most concerning thing they've ever heard anyone say, which only confuses you more.

And then someone tries to explain to you that people aren't supposed to have an ongoing house fire. Most people actually never experience a house fire in their lives. Like not even once. Not even a little bit. The normal amount of having your house be currently on fire is zero.

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player. desing 🐛

id like it if doubles dni,, im sorrey but i jist feel like im comfortanle having player to cae only on my blog <:-(

may not be an original design , but please do inform me or credit me if using their design... i mainly use this design a lot ehen drawing them and i like them a lot haha I dont know.

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hello World :-) ! and then i post my sonas to start off

yeah. Yeah! i really like them

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the stinker < 33 3 3 3 I HATE THEM

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redesigned my baby petry

rbs > likes

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wwiat how the hell do u change, um

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edited intro

who's choc? not me

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my code did not update that well (<- an excuse to saying i was lazy and forgot to post) but hey, to make it up, maybe a little ramble about my selfship :-)

your laughter, your voice, everything about you was something i absolutely admired. i treated those moments with you like they were expensive jewellery that had costed an arm and a leg, yet i still tried to make those fragnances of those memories crumble away from my mind. i hate you. but why do i feel like i must require you to keep on going in this sick routine called life? oh, how i adore you. watching you struggle with your current task and later on ask me for some assistance on it, i knew that you needed me - despite not showing any signs of it. ive always thought that i was in some love-hate sort of situationship with you, many have speculated that as well. but what about you? what do you even think about in your small, little head? i doubt that you can even manage a clear opinion about me in there. you're so.. awfully pleasing. i can't seem to shift my gaze from you, it's like a cat focusing on it's prey. i have no intention on doing that whatsoever, do i? you look like a deer in headlights, absolutely lost in your head. where do you go on now? what even is your objective on returning to this forsaken toy factory - or company, if you will. you had already forgotten to arrive to work that day, so why think about returning? this place has already been torn down to wreckage, why would it catch someone's interest? now why dont you tell me, player?

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Character - single father?

Mmmm... My favorite 🥹

I'm not kidding, I literally started playing and bought them just find out they were Father and son 🐎

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The pain is when you and your partner fell in love with a ship that has zero content on it and you two idiots have to make the content yourself now...fck..

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ths is so mean i'm telling punk about this

heh ur mom

hey? why would you say this dude. this is like, so ? offensive dude. whatever dude?

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hi to the 4 people that enjoy suitcab

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Post Traumatic Manifesto ??? Spoilers:

Jordyn (Disposable Girl)’s video shows her walking around in a parking lot, and the recent lore drop confirms it was brought to Ehawee Hospital after a suicide attempt where she jumped in front of a car.

Kairi (Irreverent Girl) was found by one’s mother after her own failed suicide attempt, implying co rejoined the cult.

Tahira (Splitter Girl) also was brought in after a failed suicide attempt, this one being from attempting to shoot herself with her cousin’s gun, missing because her hands were shaking so much. It’s important to me and me only that she didn’t own the gun herself.

Freyja (Fainéant girl) is the first one who wasn’t hospitalized due to a suicide attempt. Admittingly her’s doesn’t have an implication I obsess over but that’s fine

Nora (Caliber Girl) was hospitalized because of a vehicular accident caused by stress, and her video shows her driving a car.

Morgan (Chocolate Box Girl) doesn’t have a messed up implication I obsess over but instead a hopeful one. It’s the first one hospitalized because of a concerned friend and her medical notes imply he was eager to talk about her issues, so, I’m not a medical health professional so take this with a grain of salt, it might be the closest one to recovery.

Mayra (Taxidermy Girl) was hospitalized because of a failed suicide attempt where she drank a chemical cocktail, and it left them blind. He wears a blindfold in her video.

Joy (Chemical Girl) was hospitalized after punching a wall, and the lyrics of her song contain a reference to her punching a wall. This one isn’t really concerning but it jumped out to me so

Nataana (Refraction girl) was hospitalized after drinking too much prescription medication, but interestingly, this event is not described as a suicide attempt.

Anyways I hope you enjoyed this complied list of mostly concerning implications in the recent update, just wanted to get them all together, holy fuck I hope all of these girls are doing ok,

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Tahira works fast food canonically

I need to hear her on drive thru orders. Like I need to hear her tell a customer to fuck off over the headset. Or tell a creep to get the fuck outta their line. I just want her to swear on the job.