doeeyyeed

[doeeyyeed]

quite desperation a short story

The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation. Carl Jung says we cannot change anything unless we accept it, but the trick is that acceptance doesn’t come easy. Regret, guilt, anxiety, depression—neurotic symptoms stacked like dirty dishes in the sink. They’re signals, blinking neon in the dark, whispering that the routine isn’t working. The plumbing is clogged, the walls are cracking, and we’re too busy pretending everything’s fine to call a contractor.

Suffering isn’t the enemy. It’s the renovation notice taped to the door. The uncomfortable splinter digging into the soft flesh of your heel. Suffering forces you to strip the wallpaper, rip up the carpet, and examine the foundation. It’s the grim contractor pointing out what’s rotted and needs replacing. It’s a therapist with a cigarette in one hand and a crowbar in the other. It tells you to get your house in order before the roof caves in.

But instead, we turn on Netflix. Crack open beers. Pop pills like Tic Tacs. We chase the dopamine dragon through bars, bedrooms, and back alleys. We anesthetize ourselves into oblivion and call it self-care. It’s all fun and games until the serotonin supply chain collapses and suddenly you’re Googling how much Advil it takes to stop caring.

Carl Jung warns, “We may think there is a safe road. But that would be the road of death.” Death is the slow drip of routine, the suffocating weight of settling for less. It’s the zombie shuffle through cubicles and traffic jams and Netflix queues. The antidote? Movement. Forward. Always. Maslow says self-actualization is the goal—becoming everything you’re capable of being. No excuses. No safety nets.

“If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being,” Maslow says, “you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life.” And let’s face it—happiness isn’t the goal. Purpose is. Happiness is a side effect, like nausea on a pill bottle label. Purpose is the sharp edge that keeps you moving, even when it cuts.

Sow a thought and reap an action. Sow an act and reap a habit. Sow a habit and reap a character. Sow a character and reap a destiny. It’s all about planting seeds in the dirt and bleeding as they grow. The first step is picking the damn seeds. Finding the purpose. People get tripped up, think they need to find their passion first, but passion is a leech. It shows up after the work begins. Passion is the drunk friend who crashes on your couch after the hard labor is done.

Morita therapy says forget your feelings and do what needs doing. Let the actions change the emotions, not the other way around. The feelings are background noise—ignore them. Focus on the work. Build the habits. Stack the bricks. Create the architecture of your life one ugly, uneven wall at a time.

And if you feel lost, remember Steve Jobs’ advice: "Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life." Death strips away the bullshit. When the clock’s ticking, suddenly it’s easier to cut ties, to chase dreams, to burn bridges and build new ones. There’s nothing to lose because you’ve already lost it all.

The color’s coming back to my face. That man was stressing me out, but what can I say—I work better in rooms where no one knows my name. No backstory, no assumptions. Just a blank slate and endless possibilities. New faces, new places. It’s insanity to keep doing the same thing and expecting a different result.

Mauve. That’s the color that makes me feel in control. Mauve is the color of reinvention. The color of empty canvases and blank slates. It’s the color of starting over, of wiping everything clean and daring the world to make something of it.

I walk through the city, head high; Because here, in this new place, no one knows any different. I can be anyone. A model. A mogul. A genius. My self-concept is the loudest voice in the room, and in these moments, I believe it.

And then, there it was. The Virgin Mary. Staring back at me from a plate of refried beans in some hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant. It wasn’t even a good restaurant—sticky tables, lukewarm salsa, a jukebox coughing up the same three mariachi songs. But that smear of beans? Divine intervention. That was my omen. Proof that the universe had a sense of humor. Proof that I was chosen.

From that moment on, I’d tell myself I’m a supermodel. My legs? Mile-high skyscrapers. My thigh gap? Radiating potential, like a wormhole to another dimension. I’d walk through the city and imagine people looking at me, thinking, "Who is she?" And in these moments, I believed it. My self-concept became reality. Or maybe quantum physics helped. Observation changes reality, doesn’t it? Like Schrödinger’s cat, except I’m the cat, and I’m always alive when someone’s looking.

Albert Einstein would get it. My idol. My obsession. I’d give anything for an hour on a park bench with him, just to sit and talk. To ask him if humans are like birds. If he’s disgusted with humanity’s animalistic urges. Watching people like they’re birds. Analyzing their flight patterns. Wondering how they know when to migrate. Wondering if they ever get it wrong, if sometimes they just flap their wings and end up nowhere. Do we flap our wings against the wind because it’s instinct, or because we’re too stupid to do anything else?

Maybe that’s the secret—migration. Forward motion. Movement as survival. Change or die. Fix the foundation or let the roof collapse. Reinvent yourself until the world can’t tell if you’re a saint or a monster. Either way, they’ll remember your name.

 I imagine him analyzing people the way he’d study atoms—watching their habits, their migrations. Breaking down instincts into equations and theories, breaking down their patterns and quirks into beautiful, elegant equation.

And maybe that’s why I fixate on self-concept. Because in the universe of quantum physics, observation changes reality. Particles shifting, aligning, vibrating into place just because someone dared to look at them. Maybe that’s what happens when I step into a new space and find it easier to remind myself that i can be anyone to these people so let me be someone that allows me to flourish. It’s quantum mechanics in action—belief collapsing probability into reality.

I swear, my legs grow taller with every step. A mile high, endless, thighs carved out by God or by science—or maybe by the Virgin Mary herself, who once appeared to me in a smear of refried beans at a Mexican restaurant. That’s when I knew. That was my omen. Proof that I was chosen, that the universe was tipping its hat and saying, "Go ahead. Be someone."

It’s the placebo effect wrapped in divine intervention. A cosmic wink. The universe reflecting back whatever I decide to project. And that’s the secret—migration. Forward motion. Movement as survival. Change or die. Fix the foundation or let the roof collapse. Reinvent yourself until the world can’t tell if you’re a saint or a monster. Either way, they’ll remember your name.

[doeeyyeed]

ig credit: polly.florence

[doeeyyeed]

Write your story

Try retelling your story as a hero's journey, where you survived hard times and failures to become the stronger and wiser person you are now. Try telling it as a series of random events over which you had no control. Then rewrite the story. How did your choices shape who you are now? Are you living someone else's story? What would happen if you declared independence? Are you fighting someone else's fight? Does loyalty to that person keep you from choosing happiness now? Does the situation bring up parts of your story? Does your story help you in the present, or does it make things harder?

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Today I am grateful for my creativity. I feel creativity in everything I do, like when I walk, talk, and breathe. I speak creativity into existence with each breath. I understand creativity comes from my heart. I acknowledge my power. I rejoice in it.

[doeeyyeed]

THIS!

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yearning

I yearn to feel peace. To experience the simple act of sitting on the couch and not overanalyzing myself, the situation, or my life. No more feeling inadequate to the social conditioning standards that rob me of my peace of mind. I wish to feel content that my body is divinely perfected along with, the state of my life being sufficed. The secret is all that I desire is already mine. To begin the act of imagining it and convincing myself otherwise. To believe. Trust. Know. Feel as if its already though and be in the state of gratitude. Heaven is a place on earth, why do I forget it?

[doeeyyeed]

He has wondering eyes. The stare down he gives attractive women is the same look I once received from him when we had our first encounter. It dwindles my feminine spirit to see him look at another woman like how he once looked at me. I don’t bring it to his attention that I notice these things. I simply just acknowledge it and start to doubt if he’s really the man meant for me.

I pray for a man to enter my life who makes me feel like I’m the best thing that ever happened to him, who doesn’t make me question his affection for me, who uplifts me & reminds me just how beautiful I really am.

[doeeyyeed]

[doeeyyeed]

i am full of happiness 𐙚 i am full of love

i am full of happiness 𐙚 i am full of love

i am full of happiness 𐙚 i am full of love

i am full of happiness 𐙚 i am full of love

i am full of happiness 𐙚 i am full of love

i am full of happiness 𐙚 i am full of love

[doeeyyeed]

[doeeyyeed]

𝓑𝓮𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓓𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓶 𝓖𝓲𝓻𝓵

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

everyone has their own definition of a dream girl - a girl who is simply everything we want or everything we want to be. i strongly believe that discipline and the law of assumption can help anyone become their own version of a dream girl. so why not just manifest that into your reality?

start by figuring out exactly what it means to be a dream girl to you.

what's her name? what does she do for a living? how much money does she make? what about her education? where does she live? what does she look like? what does her body look like? what kind of clothes does she wear? what kind of person is she? what does her morning routine look like? what does her day look like? what does her night routine look like? what are her hobbies and interests? how does she see the world and other people? how do other people see her? what are her goals in life? what kind of people does she surround herself with? what does she do in her free time?

now the most important thing is to answer those questions like you're talking about yourself. not "she is..." but "i am...". i suggest you write it down somewhere just so you can come back to it whenever you need it.

answer those questions and add whatever details you want your dream girl to have. please remember that this is the version of a girl who is perfect to YOU. don't feel like your answers have to be something that other people consider perfect, just describe the version of yourself who is truly happy with her life.

now that you know what a dream girl is to you, tell yourself that you are that girl. i don't wanna hear any "oh but she's rich and i'm not" or "oh but she's this and that and i'm not". no! she is you and you are her. if you can imagine it you can have it. think about what your life would look like if you were that girl. daydream, make plans, journal, create vision boards, do whatever that helps you be in the dream girl state. you are your dream girl, that's it. you look like her, you talk like her, you walk like her, you are her. no matter what shows up in your reality, that doesn't matter, you're becoming your dream girl and nothing and no one can stop you.

something that will definitely help with that is doing the things on your list that are possible for you right now. if your dream girl wakes up early and you know that it's possible for you then start waking up early as well. if your dream girl does yoga and you have enough time and are physically able to do it, start doing yoga. you don't have to start with extremely expensive products and routines, just whatever is possible for you right now. do whatever will help you stay in that state and the rest will simply come to you :)

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

[doeeyyeed]

"And I was so young when I behaved twenty five Yet now I find I've grown into a tall child"

[doeeyyeed]

❦ we were born to be free ❦