I am like an almond croissant—sweet and topped by floppy nuts
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When life has been going great but you feel like something bad is about to happen
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i cant believe i missed the lesbian sex wars
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Is Luke Skywalker a meth dealer? What do you think “Tosche Station” and “power converter” are CODE for????
@squeebers42
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Me when I get off a plane and see one of my partners
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My girlfriends know I’m basically Morgana because after we have sex I say “you must be tired after today let’s get some sleep”
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Dating your coworker in secret is so fun when you leave because you want to kiss each other goodbye but hug awkwardly with 2 feet for Jesus
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