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Sleep progress update

I’ve been back at work for a couple of weeks now, so I thought it was about time I posted an update. Generally speaking it’s going great - sleep wise. We’re getting a full nights sleep and minimal drama at bed time.

Tonight isn’t going so well-as I type this I’m listening to him scream his head off-I’ve been in twice already but he seems to be calming now. Why he’s done this tonight, I’ve no idea. Just a blip I guess. I can deal with it though because I know afterwards he’ll sleep, and so will we.

In other news: He’s found his walking legs and has been toddling about for the past couple of days. (He’s fallen asleep now so that didn’t take long at all). I’m a mega proud mama this week, watching him take his first steps towards me with a beaming smile on his face has made my heart burst. And also kind of like I fancy having another one...but I won’t! At least not anytime soon. I want to enjoy him for as long as I can before I add anyone else to our little family.

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Sleep update - days 4&5

So after the wonderful, full nights sleep on day 3, E decides that he was going to be a bit stubborn on day 4! He refused to have a bottle before bed and took much longer to settle to sleep (similar length to day1/2). I knew we were in for a rough night...but, he only woke once and he settled back down really quickly.

Day 5 (last night) he tried to refuse the bottle again and I’ve realised that as soon as I take him into his room with the lights off he starts to cry because he knows what’s coming. Last night I brought him back downstairs, gave him to my husband - who fed him the bottle - and ten minutes later I took him upstairs again. He cried as soon as I put him in the cot but he was asleep before the end of the first timer of 3 minutes. Unbelievable. He has also slept through the whole night again.

I think that I’m starting to understand him a bit better now and working out what works for us as a routine. Some of those things might not be as strict as CC suggests, we haven’t followed it to the letter, but it’s working for us a family and that’s what matters. Here’s to more sleep filled nights!

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So many people said it was too harsh. So many people tried to put me off doing it. But this is why I did. To all you Mammies out there, put yourselves first - you can’t look after them if you don’t look after yourself first. X

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He slept through the night.

That is all.

Day 3 - he slept through the night, with no interruptions.

Happy Mammy.

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Days 2 - 3

We have made progress! Took us around about the same length of time to get E to sleep last night as in Day 1 BUT once he was asleep he slept through till 0355am. Then it took around 45 mins to an hour to get him back to sleep. Same wake up time of 6.30am which is what we’re aiming for.

Tonight we delayed the routine by around an hour because we’ve been visiting family. E was overtired and we were worried that it would have an impact on how quickly he went to sleep. Well, it did. But for the better! We had 1x 3 minute and 1x 5 minute then he was asleep during the next 5 minute slot. Actually, can’t believe it. Now this might be because it was later than normal or it might be because I turned on his white noise penguin tonight by either way it was super quick and I’m thrilled. Here’s to another (almost) uninterrupted nights sleep!

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Sleep training - day 1

Ok, I know that there are many different methods of getting babies to sleep and I know that ‘controlled crying’ or ‘crying it out’ is pretty extreme, but I also know that having Evan come into bed with us in the middle of the night, every night, doesn’t work for us as a family. So, we’ve decided to give CC a go.

We decided to wait for the Christmas break so that at least one of us was off work (me) to be able to get up through the night repeatedly if needed. The time pressure of trying to sort this out has its advantages - we have to stick to it to be able to give it our best shot. The disadvantages? Potentially a ruined Christmas break with very little sleep and a baby that might still not sleep in his own bed every night. Frankly, this was a risk I was willing to take.

So here we are, the day after the first night of sleep training. (Coincidentally, this should help me stick to my promise of updating this blog regularly!)

We started with the normal bedtime routine: dinner, play, bath, bottle and then bed. All fine. Usually, I cuddle Evan to sleep and then put him in his cot (he’ll stay there asleep for a few hours and then that’s when we bring him in rather than fight with him to go back down). A friend advised that we should put him down sleepy, but awake, from the get go rather than start the CC in the middle of the night - this was GREAT advice. I put him down, kissed him goodnight, left the room and set the timer for 2 minutes. He screamed, he howled, he yelled until the timer went off - great start - I went in, determined to be strong, to find that he’d vomited all over himself and the cot. For a brief moment, I thought about giving up but instead we cleaned up and started again. This time for 3 minutes.

We did another 3 minutes and then 3x5 minute slots before he stopped crying, rubbed his eyes and started to fall asleep. Success! And it was only 8pm!

He woke at 9.30pm, 1.30am and 4.30am. The first two times I went in once, kissed him and he stopped crying before the 3 minute timer had gone off. The third time took a bit longer. I didn’t go back to sleep till around 5.30 and at 6.30 he was up and ready to start the day.

All in all, the first night could have been worse. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t enjoy listening to him cry BUT I know that he wasn’t crying because anything was wrong, he’d been fed, changed and he was tired and needed to sleep. I’m hoping that tonight goes just as well...

Watch this space!

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Let’s try this again, shall we?

So then, this didn’t turn out to be the ‘therapy’ I was hoping it would be! I spent many months intending to post but feeling very overwhelmed by all the emotions going through my head. I didn’t know what to write down first, so I didn’t write anything. In fact, I didn’t SAY anything to anyone. And then I blew up like a volcano in the most inappropriate way, at the most inappropriate time, in front of the most inappropriate group of people possible.

Since then, I’ve been trying my best to sort my emotions out but, in doing so, found I didn’t have the time to write them all down as well as deal with them in the present. As 2018 approaches, I’m determined to give this another shot. I do believe it will help me and I think it might help other mammies out there too.

Watch this space for updates on Evan’s second year, my never ending struggle to find a balance between all my womanly roles and a retrospective look at year 1.

Happy New Year to you and yours, from me and mine. xxx

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Colic

Evan is a guzzler, so much so that he takes in a lot of air as well as milk when he drinks. He suffered with colic from around 2 weeks old. It was a huge shock to us as he’d been fine up to then, a textbook ‘perfect’ baby who had regular feeds and who could burp and fart with ease.

Colic is horrendous. The painful cry coming from your baby is like no other and you’ll feel helpless most of the time. It’s frustrating, for them and for you. We didn’t try anything out of the ordinary to get rid of it and it, eventually, went away overnight. Remember that it does get better and it will stop.

These are the things we tried:

• Dr Browns anti-colic bottles

We used these after realising that the pre-made Aptamil bottles they use in hospital were going to bankrupt us, even if they were really handy. Evan drank much more than he was meant to from the start so those little bottles really didn’t last long. I’d say he was around a week old when we switched to Dr Browns. These seemed to work ok but a few weeks into our colicky he’ll we changed to….

• MAM anti-colic bottles

What a God-send these beauties were! My sister bought us three to try as they were on offer at Argos at the time. Worth a shot, we thought. Let me tell you, they were the best investment. The first night he used these he fed and burped so much better. They are pricey, but its money well spent. Added bonus is that you don’t need a separate steriliser to clean them. One of our best buys and in our top ten recommended baby products.

• Infacol

At first, this made very little difference to Evan. We used it for about a week, because we didn’t know what else to use. After this time we went to the GP for something else. We later came back to it and tried again with much more success.

*advice* Don’t write anything off completely, just because it didn’t work once doesn’t mean it won’t ever work.

• Colief This is what the GP prescribed. At £12 for a teeny tiny bottle it’s pricey. No wonder everyone heads for the Infacol first! We tried this with great success from the off. Be warned, it does cause some explosive nappies! We found that, rather than burping out the wind, Evan would ‘shart’ it out instead. It’s better out than in though and I’d rather an atomic nappy that goes through three layers of clothing, yes three, than have the wind stuck in his tummy causing that wailing banshee crying. Downside of colief is that once it’s in the bottle you only have 30 minutes to use the milk rather than 2 hours. Evan sometimes woke in the night would have an ounce or two, fall back to sleep and then wake an hour later for the rest. This meant we had to make a fresh bottle, with new colief, so we went through the teeny tiny bottle pretty quickly. I think, at worst, it lasted only 4 days. After a month of this it suddenly seemed to have no effect. We had no atomic nappies, no burping and the banshee crying was back. So we stopped using it, went back to the beginning and started the trial and error process again.

• Aptamil Colic milk We tried this at various points in our colicky journey. We tried it on its own with no help, with infacol, with colief and with two different bottles. We eventually decided that Evan just didn’t like it. It’s thicker than normal milk, presumably to slow down the drinking process. Evan would get frustrated he wasn’t getting fed quick enough or would work so hard for it that he’d fall asleep mid-bottle. We gave up on this and still have half a tub sat in the drawer.

Do try it though. Every baby is different and just because Evan didn’t go for it, doesn’t mean your little one won’t. Do whatever works for you!

• Gripe Water The nectar of baby Gods! This is another God-send. At the end of a feed we dipped his dummy in this and it helped to settle his tummy. He still likes a bit of gripe now when he’s being a bit whingey at bedtime. I found that if he’d sicked up his milk, putting gripe on the dummy would help get rid of the sicky taste he was left with and so he’d settle much quicker.

• Baby Massage I don’t think this helped Evan at all. If anything it just made him more frustrated. Thinking about it, if I had a tummy pain, the last thing I’d want is someone holding my legs up to my chest to try and get me to fart! Not for us I’m afraid!

As you can see, it took a lot of trial and error to get to where we are now. In all, our colicky hell lasted around 6 weeks. It felt like so much longer and I know mums who have had to deal with it much longer than we did. Regardless of how long it lasts, it’s hell when it’s happening. Persevere, it will get better! Try everything, if it doesn’t work try and different combination of things, and if it still doesn’t work-start again.

These things, along with different winding techniques: rocking, swaying, on the tummy, on the shoulder, bouncing and patting of the bottom/back, will definitely help. You just have to find what works for you.

On the plus side, I was told that there’s a link between babies with colic to babies who are more alert and engaged with their surroundings. How true this is, I have no idea. But I wasn’t going to go hunting for evidence to disprove this! Thinking Evan was extra alert (translated in my head as advanced) got me through some dark, dark nights!

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So this week we’ve been battling a cough and a cold. We’ve been snotty and struggling to breathe but, worst of all, coughing so hard we are sometimes sick. This is parenting reality.

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The day we found out we were pregnant.

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Way back when...

…it all began, I was full of excitement at being pregnant. We hadn’t tried for very long, (one try!), and it took us by surprise that it happened so quick. Too quick to realise what we had let ourselves in for!

I started a baby book as I wanted to record every second of this wonderful journey. Needless to say, the baby book was soon forgotten about when my first trimester tiredness kicked in and I didn’t pick it up again to fill it in because I couldn’t find the energy to do much other than sleep, eat and go to work. However, the ‘when I found out’ page was filled in with this:

The day we found out, we were going to Daddy’s friend, Kev’s, wedding. Mammy had a feeling that you were there growing, Daddy wasn’t sure though! Mammy surprised him with the news and Daddy cried and hugged Mammy because he was so happy. We loved you from that moment and will continue to do so for the rest of your life-lucky you! 16.4.16.

The baby book is hit and miss from then on. If there are any bits filled in which are relevant to future posts I’ll include them.

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First things first...

…I should probably introduce myself!

I’m Laura, I’m 32 and have just had my first baby, Evan, 7 weeks ago. My husband, David, and I got married at the end of 2015. We’ll have been together 4 years in August this year and we’ve packed a lot in to that short space of time!

As I said in my last post, this is a way for me to vent my feelings on motherhood. It’s not about telling anyone else what to do; take from it what you want and agree or disagree with what I say, I’m not fussed! If you find it useful or comforting great, if you think it’s a load of shite then that’s ok too.

Some stuff I write will be retrospective, because I didn’t pull my finger out my arse soon enough to sort this out, some of it will be more current as I catch up with myself. I can’t promise to post everyday, but I’ll do it as often as I can or is necessary.

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Synopsis...

7 weeks ago today, I gave birth to my son, my first baby. In these 7 weeks my life has been transformed in the most wonderful and terrifying of ways. After speaking to a friend completely honestly about how I’ve found it, she suggested I write it all down.

So here it is. My no holds barred, 100% honest account of my journey to becoming a mother. Agree or disagree, here it will be for all to see. Take from it what you will. It will be my therapy.