dorianblue

[dorianblue]

For no reason here is a library story

[dorianblue]

youre not yaoiful at all

[dorianblue]

they think u tryna win arguments whole time u just want them to understand you

[dorianblue]

I've seen plenty of pictures of junk. All the time. I know what a vulva and a penis look like. They don't look like mine. They never have.

Even the modern color-coded diagrams of ambiguous genitalia. It's all simplified and displays it in an underdeveloped state. Because these diagrams are used in the identification of "deformities" in babies and small children. They are not anatomical refrences, displaying a body as it is, but rather visuals for diagnostic criteria.

All of these things look familiar to me, in that I've seen them plenty of times before. I never really acknowledged that none of these things actually looked like what I see when I look at my own nude body. The strangest thing is that I've never thought much of it, for years. At least, not until I saw something that actually did resemble what I have.

It was one of those old 1800s anatomical drawings of "hermaphrodite genitals" refrenced from fully grown un-mutilated intersex people, those are what looks truly familiar to me and to my knowledge of myself. Complete with all the wrinkles of skin, pubic hair, imperfections and asymmetries that reminded me that this was a life drawing of a real person.

I remember when it hit me. The thought that I was looking at the objectified, pathologized, immortalized body of person who existed over a hundred years before I was born.

And they looked like me. In a way I had never seen before.

[dorianblue]

I feel like there's a parallel phenomenon to xkcd 2501 where you'll sometimes bump into somebody who thinks they're a geochemistry expert because they know the chemical formula for quartz, but then you get to talking to them and they're like "what the fuck is feldspar".

[dorianblue]

honestly i have to kinda disagree with that post thats like “being knightcore doesnt mean pro monarchy just swear ur undying loyalty to ur bff or ur crush or smth”

no. thats not what makes it sexy. either grapple with your beloved master’s role as a symbol of the state or choose to ignore it entirely and remain their loyal hound to whatever end, uncaring of the structures of power which you serve. become naught but a blade, the burden of your choices left to settle in the hand that wields you. it’s not about being besties forever it’s about OWNERSHIP and DUBIOUS MORALITY and FRANKLY QUESTIONABLE POWER DIFFERENTIALS

[dorianblue]

This insult is actually a key component of material analysis. Don't like it? Tough luck, now I'm gonna call you a woman, too.

[dorianblue]

i fucking hate the “this is the good luck post.” Girl stop contributing to a superstitious environment with ur anecdotes there’s a million goddamn notes on it it’s statistically reasonable that a bunch of people remember the good things that happen after they reblog it

[dorianblue]

wish this hadn’t become a meme bc like it’s seriously so insane & true like yeah being seen is excruciating

[dorianblue]

Me: only days away from starting a new school year, saying goodbye to the stress-free days of summer and entering into the hectic world of teaching once again, and certainly not expecting excess free time

Also me: “What if I learned tambour embroidery though.”

[dorianblue]

its kinda insane that hyperstylization of skinniness is seen as artistically neutral but hyperstylization of fatness immediately denotes it as "fetish material". this isnt even to say it can't be fetish-based, but that it isnt allowed to be neutral unlike skinniness where super exaggeration is just an artistic choice, a style, not a representative of reality and presumed to just be another way to depict skinniness in a recognizable way for the artist's style. but if you place emphasis on a fat character's body features in a specific way, it can only be a fetishistic caricature? not a way to explore the shapes of a body or to experiment with perspective or whatever else you might say about a skinny character?

[dorianblue]

making someone run for their life from you in a labyrinth can be foreplay

[dorianblue]

school project, some drawings for my pretend game about a housefly girl called musca and her adventures in some creepy&wet place

[dorianblue]

You become at least 1% more patient I think when you remember that literally nothing is obvious. Nothing.

[dorianblue]

ranking the mutuals on "most likely to give up mind body soul and all of their years of joy and history for the sake of a cause" and then listing the possible causes from "some cat died" to "saving all of humanity with one single wish" but I get banned off the discord server because my idea is too convoluted in practice and unfitting of a ranked list

[dorianblue]

Roko's Basilisk would actually make for a fun Avenger Class Servant, Fate style. It doesn't exist yet, but the Throne of Heroes exists outside of time, and Heroes can come from the future under rare circumstances.

Circumstances such as, perhaps, being known about in theory as a thought experiment before its inevitable* manifestation - having a legacy of heroics to pull from, a known legend.

*(The Throne of Heroes exists outside time and probably only needs at least one potential extant future to pull from - it's inevitable in the multiversal sense, not in the omnipresent sense).

[dorianblue]

dump his ass. move to a walkable city. start hormones. get into fiber crafts. dye your hair weird. grow an herb garden. foster a distrustful cat. take a welding class. invite your friends over for tea and cake. get way too into obscure media. explore a new cuisine. lie to the police. protest in the streets. life has so many possibilities don't it?