dorkyocs

[dorkyocs]

I have to hand it to Astarion's creators because ever since Baldur's Gate 3 came out only 2 months ago, artists are speed running art history from the Renaissance to current times by recreating every famous oil painting but with the stupid vampire as the subject and I'm like "Yeah, that's right" every time. I don't know exactly what Larian Studio put in that guy but it is certainly working.

[dorkyocs]

I need someone to do a video essay-length deep dive into how 75% of the BG3 fandom fell so hard for Astarion's manipulative seductor act that they believe that's his actual personality. This man has to practice his lines and still fumbles them constantly. He flat-out says it's all a front because he believes his sex appeal is the only reason anyone would keep him around, which is tragic. When he drops the act, he becomes this kind of silly man rediscovering what it means to be himself, and what it means to both love and be loved. He says "I'm all pointy ears, love." while turning his head to show off those pointy ears. Let him be silly, let him be awkward! It's so much more authentic then him being a walking innuendo.

He has a mid charisma stat with a bonus for deception and rolled a nat 20 on all y'all.

[dorkyocs]

A monster has its teeth in your companions.

It builds nightmares out of their worst memories and drinks their pain.

One of your companions has a particularly bad worst memory.

Play Here

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Art by @cymk8

Character Specific Achievements:

Aldiirn - Dusksong Be a bard. Use music to make first contact. belongs to @mistercrowbar

Andar - Poor Man's Dancing Lights Be an arcane caster. Try to cast magic. belongs to Tatsunara

Ember - Ghosts Need Sleep Explain why you're sometimes absent. belongs to @catsharky

Finch - Get Safe And Cared For Idiot Successfully hug Astarion. belongs to @everchased

Francys - Priorities Ignore everyone else in the campsite. belongs to @ineadhyn

Greygold - Psspsspsspss Be a ranger. Help Astarion calm down after being frightened. belongs to @jeeaark

Nawen - You're Unbreakable Be a rogue. Give your vampire a pep-talk after a particularly difficult day. belongs to @ineed-to-sleep

Ria - Music Box Be a bard. Play the theme. belongs to @ladyofrosefire

Staeve - Don't Forget Me Say something memorable. belongs to @velnna

Temiter - This Is All A Bit Much Abandon the dream using the silver cord. belongs to @not-poignant

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Another link to the game.

[dorkyocs]

"I can fix him" well i can send email

[dorkyocs]

Reblog to poop instantly

[dorkyocs]

Lawyer who is like visibly trying not to cry and teary-eyed and snifflign and drawing shaky breaths and hands trembling and constantly wiping his nose on his sleeves but he’s winning the case

[dorkyocs]

actually NFT is the token that proves ownership. the hideous randomly generated furry character you're thinking of is NFT's Monster.

[dorkyocs]

you can’t change fate

[dorkyocs]

I CAN SAVE HIM

[dorkyocs]

The hard truth about autism acceptance that a lot of people don't want to hear is that autism acceptance also inherently requires acceptance of people who are just weird.

And yes, I mean Those TM people. Middle schoolers who growl and bark and naruto run in the halls. Thirtysomethings who live with their parents. Furries. Fourteen-year-olds who identify as stargender and use neopronouns. Picky eaters. Adults in fandoms. People who talk weird. People who dress weird.

Because autistic people shouldn't have to disclose a medical diagnosis to you to avoid being mocked and ostracized for stuff that, at absolute worst, is annoying. Ruthlessly deriding people for this stuff then tacking on a "oh, but it's okay if they're autistic" does absolutely nothing to help autistic people! Especially when undiagnosed autistic people exist.

Like it or not, if you want to be an ally to autistic people, you're going to have to take the L and leave eccentric, weird people alone. Even if you don't know them to be autistic. You shouldn't be looking for Acceptable Reasons to be mean to people in the first place. Being respectful should be the default.

[dorkyocs]

most of the time i forget how silly polnareff's character design is because i'm just accustomed to it at this point but sometimes i recieve a moment of awareness and really SEE him and realise what he actually looks like. and then i get used to it again and the cycle restarts

[dorkyocs]

i'm so tired of the online art influencer mentality that in a sketchbook everything in it has to look amazing and polished and flawless it's so performative!!!! sketchbooks should be for drawing stupid shit

[dorkyocs]

tumblr working overtime to scrub “adult” content from this website only for a photoshopped pic of john lennon’s asscrack to become a top post 3 days into 2022

[dorkyocs]

transfeminem

[dorkyocs]

just learned the lockpicking lawyer is an actual (retired) lawyer.. for some reason i assumed he wouldn’t be? like it didn’t remotely occur to me that a channel called the lockpicking lawyer would be a lawyer

[dorkyocs]

A story in three parts:

[dorkyocs]

nothing lasts forever, nothing stays the same.. happy 10th anniversary @5sos

on twitter ✨