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LOL but seriously release the hounds

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Crazy how many people want characters in fiction to speak and act like they’ve had 20 hours of intensive therapy. Could NOT be me I want these bitches fucked up insane

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carly rae jepsen appeared to me in a dream and told me to beat my dick until it fell apart like a brisket

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my phone isn’t charging even though i plugged her innnnn dramatic ass bitch. YOUR PUSSY IS FILLED! WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT

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i’m the girl

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Be so fucking for real rn

uh oh! one of your organs has mysteriously vanished! Spin this wheel to find out which one!

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emotionally competent cassowary

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so many amazing words in the english language. you have clandestine and precarious and serendipity and iconoclast and then you also have staunch and sludge and slurp and smudge

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the toilet brothers

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performing the "u-turn of blowjobs" because i do a little bit and run away and also it does bug type damage

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never kill yourself

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inviting a girl over to my home for sex, before leading her into my bedroom and leaving to the bathroom to get changed. moment's later, a series of puzzle boxes lower from the ceiling and i announce over the microphone that she is being tested. i forget to mute the mic so the sounds of me jacking off while i watch her do the puzzles is audible to her

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“why so yurious”

-the fujoker