driftingqueer

[driftingqueer]

Hey there!

I am doing a service project advocating for adults on the autism spectrum with Luv Michael, a nonprofit dedicated to empowering individuals through work and education. As part of my project, I am:

-Creating a local resource database for families.

-Contacting local officials to promote policies supporting individuals on the spectrum.

- Raising funds to help Luv Michael grow and continue its mission.

https://secure.givelively.org/donate/luv-michael-inc/luv-michael-volunteer-program-2025/ezra-agarwal

I can earn a volunteer’s certificate if I raise $75 or more. Will you please help me reach my goal while also supporting autistic adults? Every donation counts!

Autistic adults especially those with high needs require support related to vocational training, independent living and inclusive community, for which there aren't enough resources, luv micheal aims to provide all such necessary aid while increasing awareness and while I can't say I'm personally affected by it, I also experience overwhelming feelings and sensory sensitivity in social situations even though nowhere near that level, It makes me feel deeply for them, for whom its more and worse on another level and how many public spaces and sectors do not even consider their existence, let alone challenges.

I’d really appreciate it if you could support a cause that means so much to me!

You can check out their website with this link:

PS- US based donors get free thank you granola bar ;)

[driftingqueer]

Religion has always been an influence on BSD, particularly Buddhism, Christianity, and Shintoism. For Ueda and Atsushi, they are connected to all those religions, Shintoism, though, more so than the other two.

Ueda said in their “1,500 years”, which means they were at least around in 6th century Japan. In 6th century Japan, there was mostly an influence from China, Buddhism, and Shintoism growing. Coincidentally, in Chinese myths, when a tiger had turned 500, then that tiger would become a white tiger, “Byakko”. What I’m saying is, Atsushi’s ability, Byakko, is his connecting piece to Ueda. If Byakko became THE Byakko in the year 500, then it would match up to the historical context of Ueda’s time. And, it fits nice since that would mean that Byakko came to be in the year 0, which could be the connecting piece to Christianity.

But what does this have to do with Ueda? IRL Ueda was said to have some Shinto inspirations in his works. A key part in Shintoism is kami - their ‘demons’, sort of like monsters to us. Byakko, though of Chinese origin, could be seen to be treated like those Kami. For Ueda, I propose that they were actually a Shinto priest. When Ame-no-gozen appeared as the singularity, its domain was that of Torii, those iconic red gates. Torii are entrances to Shinto temples. And, Ame-no-gozen, Ueda’s sword, was originally used for religious ceremonies way back 1500 years ago, leading back to Shintoism. So, Byakko is a kami & Ueda was a Shinto priest at the same time. Much of main series BSD ties back to the light novels, these current chapters specifically to Dead Apple. In Dead Apple, we saw Atsushi visit the tiger room & see his origins with Shibusawa, who got iconic scarring on his left eye from Byakko. In chapter 123, we meet Ueda, a character with a scar on their left eye, who was accessed in an area that only Atsushi could reach due to Byakko and his trauma. I think that Byakko gave Ueda that scar. How? Ueda was asked to do a ceremony with Byakko, maybe a ceremony to seal it away due to its powers or to seal it as a safe bookmark (little thing - never specified what type of bookmark Byakko is like. It could very well be those corner flips, and if it is, then Byakko’s analogy could be that it was flipped too much and the next page started to show, like how Byakko or Ame-no-gozen are showing the future due to their being). But, that ceremony went wrong, causing Byakko to slash Ueda’s face & Ueda to be the one blamed or sealed away in the 4th dimension - they used Ame-no-gozen wrong, now they live in Ame-no-gozen’s space. Now, 1500 years later, the vessel of Byakko meets Ueda in the place Byakko condemned them, now asking for forgiveness.

[driftingqueer]

steps onto stage. hello. taps microphone. is this on? hello???

atsushi will view dazai differently after this last chapter

NO PLEASE DON'T GO. don't go just yet. i have a speech prepared, just hear me out. taps microphone again. coughs. alright, let's see...

i would like to start this off with talking about dazai's and atsushi's canon dynamic pre-chapter 122. i think, based on canon evidence, that there is a sort of understanding between them where they're both approaching each other and their relationship with a mindset that goes "your past doesn't matter to me. what matters to me is who you are right now"

i believe that many of us sees them that way and i believe that this is the reason many of you think that this will have no affect whatsoever on their relationship or how atsushi perceives dazai in general. i think you're wrong. i think you're wrong because this is not someone who doesn't care about what he's seeing

as far as i'm aware, most of the arguments boils down to "this scene is about atsushi sympathizing with akutagawa", which is correct. this scene is about atsushi sympathizing and empathizing with akutagawa because now he understands what he went through. however, that's not just because he sees what he went through, it's because atsushi went through something arguably similar, which treatment was textually paralleled to dazai's treatment of akutagawa by akutagawa himself

atsushi is a person who is constantly affected by his past in the way he operates his present. he cannot let go of the past. which is why his relationship with dazai was special, in my opinion, however, now dazai is connected to atsushi's past. now, atsushi can't deny the similarities between him and the orphanage director. how could he, when the man literally turned into dazai in front of his very own eyes. how could he, when the orphanage director took up dazai's form to gave him advice and atsushi listened to him

(i know the orphanage director was a hallucination. it does make me wonder if this actually just means that atsushi's own subconscious was aware of the similarities the whole time)

so, where does this lead us? atsushi, at the very least, will see that dazai, the man who gave him a new home parallels the orphanage director, the man who made his last one unbearable - in someone else's life, that is. will this change how he treats dazai? will this truly change their relationship? likely not.

atsushi loves and respects dazai. he believes dazai can be good and he believes that he is good. he believes that people are able to change (we see this in his relationship with kyouka or even akutagawa himself) and therefore, i think he will believe that his dazai is not akutagawa's

i also believe that it is inevitable that he will look at him and see either the director or dazai's past, even for a split second. not consciously, but he will see someone else, who's not his dazai and it's hard to imagine that dazai wouldn't notice and even harder that he wouldn't care

i don't know if this will have any canon relevance. what i do know, is that there is nuance here. it isn't "this scene is only about atsushi and akutagawa, therefore it won't matter to atsushi in how he views dazai" and it isn't "atsushi will hate dazai from now on", obviously. i think it's more like "you can't separate wanting to empathize with someone's hurt and viewing the one who hurt them as in the wrong. it's human that this will affect atsushi's perception of dazai but, because dazai is important to atsushi and he knows that dazai has changed because he sees all the good he did since, he will learn not how to look past it but how accept it as a part of dazai that he can be at peace with"

which, admittedly, will be a good thing for atsushi's character as he still hasn't made peace with his past, and ignoring it was never going to help

[driftingqueer]

I asked one of my (male) friends to stop using the phrase “man up” and he has been using “fortify” for the past two weeks instead and it’s just a little thing but honestly it makes a difference

and tbh it’s also pretty funny when I start to deflate in the library and he leans over and goes “FORTIFY”

[driftingqueer]

long bacon with a side of deity gender

[driftingqueer]

hanfu-ne miku!

[driftingqueer]

mikurowave

open microwave

[driftingqueer]

it's got solitaire btw. if you even care

[driftingqueer]

knd nihilego

[driftingqueer]

I think my favorite obscure figure from Greek mythology is Procrustes, cause he’s literally a serial killer with a silly gimmick who runs a motel

[driftingqueer]

I just saw a DNI for "evil intentions". nobody puts up a warding talisman anymore just a fucking DNI

[driftingqueer]

My body is already an inhospitable environment, there’s no way a friggin baby would be able to survive in it

[driftingqueer]

light of Aurora, Anastasia Trusova, acrylic, 2021

[driftingqueer]

How come microwaves have windows but dishwashers don't? What are they hiding??

[driftingqueer]

The Muse at Sunrise, Alphonse Osbert

[driftingqueer]

“The Song” by Nana Gyulikekhvyan (as published in Krestyanka magazine in 1969)

[driftingqueer]

licensed from @morggo