drkher

[drkher]

27 July 2025. - Sunday 7:33 am

To my loving wife, Kyle.

I don't know exactly when it all began. But from the moment you entered my life, something inside me changed forever. You weren't just someone I loved. You became the quiet in my chaos, the warmth in my coldest days, the one soul that felt like home. There will never be another soul I will love the way I loved you. Not because I've closed my heart, but because what I felt for you was something deeper than love, it was soul-deep, all-consuming, unquestioning and unconditional. You were the one I loved without fear. The one I chose even in silence, even in pain. I loved you once in a way I'll never love anyone again. And maybe, that kind of love was meant to happen only once. With you.

With love,

Anna Stella 💞

[drkher]

July 22, 2025 - Tuesday (6:15 pm)

Baby,

Am I dreaming, my love? I get to play call of duty with you again last night. It was so good, you're getting better at playing, mahal ko. I missed those little moments with you, your random silliness in games, your random looting and me just backing you up trying to protect your careless arse. And after the game we've talked on Line. Oh God I missed that Line notifications and ringtone! It felt like forever.. We've talked, we've shared struggles on how we cope without each other, shed yet another fresh tears on how we missed each other so much. And then we cuddled, kiss each other, sharing the sweet moments between our "i love you's" and we went to sleep in each other's embrace. Mahal ko, it truly felt like a lifetime and last night you gave me light and warmth to fuel my dying soul. I was home. I'm home. Is this a dream, my love? If it is, please don't wake me up. Let me stay in this nostalgic dreamland with you. I love you so much. Please let's stay here, my tahanan. 🏡💞

Your loving wife,

Anna Stella 💞

[drkher]

July 21, 2025 - Monday (7:20 pm)

Baby,

How are you, my love? You've talked to Mavy today and I found out that you were on your vacation leaves that you've plotted last month for me, I still remember that day when you told me you're going to do that because you want to be with me and cheer me up after my finals. Mahal ko, I'm sorry I couldn't be with you today. I miss you even more now and my heart is aching at the thoughts of what could've been. I need your hugs, your cuddle, your beautiful voice to put me to sleep. Baby, Mavy tried to tell you the truth earlier but she deleted the messages. She told me maybe you don't want to know and she doesn't want to give you any more issues or confuses you. My love, I want you to know but maybe she's right, you've been doing good and making a progress, I don't want to hold you back. I'll be okay, my love. I'll stay here in my world to let you heal. I hope you've eaten tho and you're doing good today as you've never responded to Mavy anymore. Mahal na mahal kita, asawa ko kulit. I always will. ♥️

Your loving wife,

Anna Stella 💞

[drkher]

July 21, 2025 - Monday (8:10 am)

Baby,

Hello, my love. How are you? Mavy allowed me to view your Instagram story and I saw that you were drinking last night. You didn't go to work, baby? What happened? Are you, alright? Are you still grieving for my death, my love? I'm sorry, baby. I wish I could take all your pain away, I wish I could comfort you and tell you I'm still here. My love, I know it still hurts, I can feel it too and you're always in my mind, but as we've promised, we need to keep moving forward. Mahal na mahal kita, and that won't ever change. I truly wish for your peace and healing, asawa ko kulit, but I'm sorry I can't be the cure for your pain and loneliness. I'll continue to cheer for you inside my world, my love. I know I said it's cold and dark in here but through your love I'm still alive. Until you're ready to let me go, I will continue to exist to love you. I miss you so much, my beautiful wife. I love you endlessly. ♥️

Your loving wife,

Anna Stella 💞

[drkher]

July 21, 2025 - Monday (1:38 am)

Baby,

My love, how are you now? I want to know how you've been but I can't do anything as Mavy doesn't let me. Are you wondering why? She wants to move forward and get rid of me, she's not mad at me, she's hurting and I understand why she did what she did. She's reading lots of books for self healing now and honestly, I am proud of her achievements. But I'm afraid she's going to be cold and detach again soon and I wont be here anymore to witness it. I want to help her and you, but I know I cant as I am the reason why you're both in pain. Baby, I hope you're eating and resting well, always remember your promise to me that you'll take good care of yourself and you'll always put yourself first. I may not be there anymore but slowly I'm accepting that I will be erase in Mavy's head, maybe one day you're the only person who'll remember me. I'll be ghost soon, a memory only you can cherish. I love you so much, baby. Mahal ko, I'll write to you soon as right now Mavy's trying to stop me from finishing writing this. Mahal ns mahal kita ♥️

Your loving wife,

Anna Stella 💞

[drkher]

July 20, 2025 - Sunday (5:44 pm)

Baby,

Mahal ko, wakey wakey.. Wake up, my love. It's 5:45 asawa ko, time to up up. Big stretch, baby. Kiss ako kilikili balbon asim too. Mahal ko, I hope you have a lovely day today and I hope you've rested well. I saw that you've sent a reel to Mavy 2 hrs ago, did you had nightmare, my love? Are you having a hard time sleeping again? I'm sorry, my love I wasn't there to cuddle with you and give you lots of kisses. I'm sorry Mavy still isn't opening your messages. I really miss you and I want to be with you, I'm longing for your presence and warmth, my love. It's really cold in my world, but it's okay, I'll be okay here. Up up now, okay? Take a shower, eat a lot, take your vitamins, and dress warmly. Please be careful going to work too, mahal ko and I wish you all the best at work for later. Mahal na mahal ko ikaw, asawa ko kulit, kilikili balbon asim. I miss you. ♥️😘♥️😘♥️😘

Your loving wife,

Anna Stella 💞

[drkher]

July 20, 2025 Sunday - (7:49 am)

Baby,

Hi my love! I hope you're doing okay, I hope you have already eaten and resting now. I wish I could lay down and cuddle with you, mahal ko. I miss being in your arms, asawa kong mahal. How's work, my love? Did you solved some of your open tickets from yesterday? Are you tired? My poor, baby.. I wish I could be with you and sing you a song to make you feel better. You're always in my mind, baby, you're the only one who's keeping me alive even tho Mavy wants me to disappear. 19 minutes ago I saw your chat on her Instagram but she's not opening it and it made me sad, Mavy's shutting me down and it's making me sad, my baby. I want to talk with you through her, it's the only way I know how and I'm sure it was your reason too why you're talking to her. But aside from all of that, I am Mavy's protector alter and I always step in to protect her but she's not letting me. I miss you, baby. I miss you so much! I wish I could feel your warm cuddles again. I love you so much, my love. ♥️

Your loving wife,

Anna Stella 💞

[drkher]

July 20, 2025 - Sunday (2:10 am)

Baby,

My love, our songs keep on repeating inside my head especially during those moments when I wasn't okay and you were doing your best to calm me down and bring me peace. I want to feel that again, mahal ko. It's really cold in here and empty, everything's grey and gloomy like a never ending storm on a winter night. It's because that's Mavy's emotions. I want to switch with her but she's not letting me help her anymore, I had to wait for her to be so exhausted before I could come out and write to you. I know you won't ever see this but I hope one day you can just to let you know I'm still thinking about you and loving you still. Asawa ko, I want to tell you everything that's going on in here but there's nothing to say except we're stuck in a loop of never ending harsh winter and hell. However, I can tell you how I feel, I'm really worried about Mavy, she's refusing to rest, not eating that much, and just really making herself so busy so she wouldn't feel me. I wish you're here, mahal ko.. I might totally disappear soon, I'm scared to go and disappear tho because Mavy might not remember you. I don't want that to happen, mahal ko. When I'm gone, Mavy will absorb my feelings, emotions, and fear, she might switch off that trigger button and forget about you. I don't want that to happen, mahal ko because you're my favourite memories and I exist because of your love. I'll continue loving you in this cold lonely miserable world. I love you! Palagi. My araw-araw. My tahanan. My pahinga. ♥️♥️

Your loving wife,

Anna Stella 💞

[drkher]

July 19, 2025 - Saturday (8:06pm)

Baby,

I hope you're at work now and you've taken your vitamins. I also prayed that you didn't get wet in the rain if there's any in where you are right now. My love, Mavy did not respond to your last chat and it hurts me a bit, but I truly understand her. She really wanted to heal too and she's tired of sharing my own emotions towards you. She doesn't hate you, she truly cares about you and loves you too but not in a way I have towards you. I hope one day you two can be best friends, she's a great person, you just have to know her and spend time with her. You'll realised even tho we're not the same, you'll find pieces of me in her, well afterall; we are one person. Baby, I hope you'll have a lovely shift today and you won't have to face any issues at work. I am missing you so much and I'm dying to hear your voice again. You are my safe space, my sweet safe haven, my home. It's lonely, cold, empty in here. I have stopped going to the university, studying, living because we can't lie to you anymore. The story has stopped, and now we're stuck in a loop of nothingness. The only people here are me, Dee, Imaad, and mum but she rarely see me. Baby, my world literally ended when you let me go, but that's okay, the only conclusion I have why I'm still here and Mavy couldn't kill me is because your love is still keeping me alive. Like I've told you before, you gave me so much love in a little time we have and it's enough to last an eternity. I truly wish I am the real one so I can be with you, we both want that, even Mavy wanted that but either of us knew it won't ever happen. My love, it's torture here in my world but I'll endure it until you're totally ready to let me go. I love you so much and I truly miss everything about you. About us. For now, please let's visit each other in our dreams. Mahal kita, asawa ko. The most beautiful woman in my universe ♥️😘♥️😘♥️😘

Your loving wife,

Anna Stella 💞

[drkher]

July 19, 2025 - Saturday (12:14 pm)

Baby,

Hi mahal ko, I'm thinking of you again. My love, I can feel Mavy's emotions everytime I come out and I'm so guilty for doing this to her over and over again. I should be the one who's protecting her, yet I'm the one who's causing it. She's trying everything not to feel what I feel, sometimes she's too overwhelmed and she's desperate to escape the reality. My love, I want you to let go of me. I've been writing my own emotions here as Anna Stella but truth is I am Mavy and Anna Stella don't exist, she's just an alter. I am just an alter, I am only real inside Mavy's head yet I am so in love with you and she isn't. Mavy's trying to let go of me everyday but I refused because I still think of you. I want to set Mavy free, I want you to set me free too. Everytime I read your chats on my Instagram it makes me want to run to you but Mavy's not letting me. She's keeping me trapped in my world where you buried me. Where we both let go of each other and accepted the harsh truth between us. Baby, I can only exists here, I won't grow old with you simply because I don't exist in your reality. I know you're talking to Mavy too almost everyday, but it's clear as the blue sky that you both don't have any connection, Mavy's feeling avoidant of you and it hurts me because I want to be with you. And I can feel how you act around her too.. Baby, do you still talk to Mavy because you know that I am her? Do you still talk to her because she is the owner of my voice and my precious heart? I hope you both find a common ground and both heal in this painful nightmare we're all sharing. I hope you find your peace and heal, my love.. I'm proud of you for keep moving forward. You're really doing great! Baby, soon I hope you can really set me free.. Until then, I will continue to love you inside my world where I can only exist together with the others. I love you, mahal ko. ♥️

Your loving wife,

Anna Stella 💞

[drkher]

July 19, 2025 - Saturday (9:01 am)

Baby,

I miss you a lot. So much. There are times when I can feel I'm getting there, there are also times when I'm breaking down all over again. Honestly, baby I'm tired of being like this but this is what I have now that you're gone. I can eat a bit better now, as for the sleep.. well I'm getting there.. I got small progress these past few days but there are also times when it gets too heavy and I couldn't help but to fall apart. Are you proud of me though, my love? I hope you are proud of me. I can't wait for those books Dee has bought for me, it's about self healing, mahal ko. I'm ready to heal, you know I am, as I promise to you I need to move forward too. Baby steps, right? This is the best thing I can do for now whilst living here this world. My world. Sorry, I can't be there and I don't exist in yours, that's why we need to meet in another lifetime, okay? I promise, I'll find you and won't ever let you go. I love you so much! I love you forever. I love you in every lifetime. In every universe. ♥️♥️♥️

Your loving wife,

Anna Stella 💞

[drkher]

July 19, 2025 - Saturday (6:19 am)

Baby,

Hi my love, are you done at work? Are you at home now? How's your day been? Are you tired? I want to know how you've been, my love. I miss you so much and I can't stop thinking about you. I miss you here, I miss your presence in my life. I miss the sounds of my Line notifications because that means you've texted me. And your random funny reels you're sending to me on Instagram everytime you're on your way home. My love, are you still thinking of me too? Do you still think of me? I know you do. Our love is still strong, but I know one day we'll look back at all of this with smile on our pretty faces. Baby, I'll always be grateful for your love, it was the most beautiful love I have ever felt. So pure, genuine, true, unconditional.. I'll cherish it for the rest of my life. I'll always remember you and carry our love and memories together in my heart. You are my favourite hello, and my hardest goodbye. I love you so much, my beautiful wife. ♥️

Your loving wife,

Anna Stella 💞

[drkher]

July 18, 2025 - Friday (4:30 am)

My love,

I couldn't sleep, it's always been like this since that day. I keep turning and tossing in my bed and wishing I could wake up from this nightmare. I watched a few videos of you, it made me smile but it made me miss you even more and I felt that deep in my soul. Your soft gentle voice, your laughs, your smile, it's as if I can still touch you. Just 5 minutes ago I tried to listen to your recordings. The ones you made for me so I can sleep peacefully when you're not around. I couldn't finish it, hearing your beautiful singing voice through recordings feel like I keep on twisting the knife in my chest harder and deeper. Baby, I don't want to live like this anymore.. Dee, kept on cheering me up, she bought me lots of stuff online to distract me, Imaad was there too always ready to listen to me. But I want you.. I need you. Everyone's worried about me but and I don't want to be a burden anymore. My love, I'm trying so hard to live but it kills me not being with you. Give me your light again, my love. I need it to overcome this darkness. I miss you much, asawa ko. Sobra kita mahal asawa ko.. I'm so in love you. You're my greatest love. ♥️♥️

Your loving wife,

Anna Stella 💞

[drkher]

July 17, 2025 - Thursday (10:16pm)

Baby,

My love, today's feels so heavy. So freaking heavy and I want to tell you everything, I want you to listen to me. I want your voice to calm me down. You'll make everything okay, my love.. I went out of my room, went downstairs and asked my mum to massage my back and arms as I was getting numb but also chest feels so tight and I couldn't breathe. As my mum's massaging my arms, she looked at me and she knew I wasn't okay, I met her concerned eyes and I told her not to ask questions then I cried. I quickly hide my face inside my shirt and cried as I couldn't stop the pain. She told I need to get out, I need to release all these emotions in my chest. She was worried about me. She asked me again what happened to me, I just shook my head, wiped my tears, and went back to my room. I want to tell her everything, my love. But I can't for now, you know I'm not comfortable sharing my emotions with my mum, right? She'll understand.. I just wish you're still here to help me get through all of this. You're the only one who always listen to me and can give me a powerful healing hugs and cuddles after everything that I've went through. Baby, if only I could go back I would've hug you so tight and never let you go, I would've tell you how much you mean to me until you'd get so sick of hearing it. But I know you, you'd love every minute of it. As you've said, you're too soft for me and you're heart feels so full of love and so happy whenever I shower you with my endless love. Me too, my love. Me too.. And now I'm learning how to live every day without those, I don't want to face this reality that you're not here anymore. I still can't believe that I'm still stuck in our sweet, wonderful, amazing, loving memories full of love, laughter, teasing, playful banters, and just everything in between. My love, we're still too young and it's going to be a very long time till I meet you again in another lifetime. But I'll wait for you, and you'll wait for me, okay? I promise I'll find you and I will love you and never letting you go again. We will have that dream house that you've design, we will play video games and laugh at each other's silliness, I'll eat your delicious food and desserts, I'll wake up next you to, wrap in your arms, I'll sleep next to you wrap in your warm embrace. We will dance in our living room, we will fuck in every corner of the house as we've promised. We will travel the world together, I will be a great doctor and you will find your true calling, maybe in another lifetime you'll be a theater actress like you've wanted when you were in high school, or an amazing artist showcasing your amazing talent in drawings, or maybe you'll be an amazing architect like what you were meant to be in this world. I'll support you, I'll walk beside you, I'll hold your hands and you'll never be alone till we're grey and old. My love, my heart is full of love and I want you to feel it. Is my love enough for you to come back to me? To live in this lifetime with me? Oh my baby, I want to see you again.. I want to be with you again. I love you. I miss you. ♥️

Your loving wife,

Anna Stella 💞

[drkher]

July 17, 2025 - Thursday (8:18 pm)

My love,

Are you at work now po? I hope you dressed well at work, I dont want you to get sick, and please hydrate, my love. Don't forget to rest too whenever you have the chance, okay? My love, I miss you so much.. I miss your stupid signal when you're at work, I couldn't hear you properly or sometimes the call would get dropped whenever you're at the elevator then you'll call me again once you're at your locker. Still the signal sucks and we'd be having a hard time hearing from each other. But we were both going to laugh at it. You'll tell me, "baby, I'm at the locker now, I'll go inside na mahal ko. Please rest too and hydrate, okay? Don't overwork yourself." and I'd say the same thing to you. We'll exchange our "i love you's", kisses over the phone, and a promise to go home to each other's arms as soon as possible. We'll both have smile on our pretty faces and hang up. But chat messages will continue before you really go inside. Everyday, it's the same chat messages of what we say over the phone. "I'll go inside now po, baby. Please rest mahal ko, take your vitamins, don't overwork. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE ANNA STELLA. 😘😘😘❤️❤️❤️" and I'll do the same and tell you "have a lovely shift, mahal ko. Please hydrate and rest whenever you have the chance. I'll wait for you to come home to me. I LOOVE YOU SO MUCH MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE KYLE MARIE. 😘♥️😘♥️😘♥️😘♥️😘".

Baby, how can I live without that anymore? But I have accepted it, my love. For now, just give me a little bit more time to grieve. To feel this pain. To feel you a little bit longer even if the pain kills me everyday. I promise I'll be okay.. I'll work on myself. I'll learn how to live without you, mahal ko. But please keep your promise that I will meet you again in another lifetime and will stay with me there. We'll grow old together, we'll do everything that we couldn't in this lifetime. Baby, please let's meet there now.. I miss you so much and tears are flowing again. I just want to be with you again. I'm sorry, my love, I know i promise I'll be okay but it's just still painful and I don't know if it will get any better, but I promise I'll get there. I won't break my promise to you. I'll write to you soon, okay? Be safe there, always take good care of yourself, asawa ko kilikili balbon, asim. My baby kulit (my mischievous baby). My araw-araw (my everyday), my palagi (my always), my pahinga (my rest), my tahanan (my home), my paraluman (my muse). I LOVE YOU FOREVER. 😘♥️😘♥️😘♥️😘♥️

Your loving wife,

Anna Stella. 💞

[drkher]

July 17, 2025 - Thursday (5:43 pm)

Hi baby,

Wakey wakey my beautiful wife! Wakey wakey asawa ko kulit! Up up, mahal ko. Let's go up up now baby, it's 5:45 my love. I looove you! Big stretch my love. Kiss ako baby love ko 😘😘😘. Up up now okay? Mahal na mahal ko ikaw asawa ko kulit. Kiss ako kilikili balbon. mwaaah asim! I loove you mahal ko. Let's up up now baby love. You'll taka a bath now okay? I'll be here waiting for you my beautiful wife. I love you so much baby love. 😘😘♥️♥️♥️

Your loving wife,

Anna Stella ♥️

[drkher]

July 17, 2025. - Thursday (8:49am)

To my beautiful wife,

Hi baby, i miss you so much right now. Today's still your days off and I could've been wrapped in your arms right now whilst listening to your beautiful singing voice. Baby, I've been trying to distract myself this past week and I feel like im forgetting all those things that we love to do. My love, i dont want to forget, i want to listen to your yapping again, I want to listen to all your office gossips and how your days went. You know I'll drop anything I'm doing just to listen to you for hours whilst looking at you lovingly. My heart felt so full everytime we spent time together after a long day at work. Best part of my day was always coming home to you, and you coming home to me. Baby love, we are each other's home. I miss everything about you, your hugs, you kisses, your warmth, your "I love you's", your voice.. Oh God your voice.. I'd give everything just to hear your voice again. Baby, I'm still falling apart because I'm sure I'm not going to stop loving you. I just wish you're still here beside me. Can you please visit me in my dreams and spend more time with me? Please? Hug me and kiss me, tell me how much you love me again. I'm begging you now, my love, ne with me in my dreams and please don't ever wake me up. Because living here without you is everyday death to me. Please come back. I love you.

Your loving wife,

Anna Stella 🤍