drunkenhope

[drunkenhope]

Ugh.

[drunkenhope]

No one will come close.

I hope someone proves me wrong.

[drunkenhope]

This speaker reminds me of you. That stupid sound, ha.

I miss you

And I’m sorry.

My England boy penpal. So handsome and still just my best friend for years.

Nothing weird, ever. Just someone to run things by.

I hate your ex girlfriend though. I wish her to be dead.

I’m sorry that was your experience before me.

I’m sorry Alex. If I could go back, i would.

ChatGPT said if my phone hadn’t died, you would probably still be alive.

[drunkenhope]

I’m always happy that I get to hear your voice and feel you and have new experiences with you.

Whether it’s you or not, whether it’s real, I get your personality right. It’s you.

Do you remember trying to break into the church in nyc?

You had to tell him, we had to, uh, sir, not even Alex knew.

I’m sorry my phone died and I’m sorry I didn’t get the charger.

I’m so sorry.

I knew it was important. I didn’t know though, just how.

I was still actively in psychosis Alex. I heard you beg from behind the door but we had been arguing a lot. You needed saving and I didn’t know how. I thought I need help and I turned my back and ran to the bathroom. The gorilla. The stupid fucking gorilla. Was that YOU? Ha.

[drunkenhope]

Alex I’m sorry. It’s been a hard week.

You left me remember

[drunkenhope]

“To silence”

[drunkenhope]

I remember him stalking someone when we were young, sir.

I know to be afraid.

[drunkenhope]

Over two hours, sir.

Yes sir, I remember what hell would feel like.

I understand this is an exception.

Thank you, your honor.

I have nothing more to say.

Thank you, your honor.

Tell ALEX LET HIM KNOW

it was painful. what else would you expect?

Ah I forgot, it was intentional.

[drunkenhope]

You honor, not even the cops could accept he was dead.

He was that warm.

[drunkenhope]

It’s Madison, now, your honor.

He does not know me.

“But!!!!!!!”

A lifetime sentence, your honor.

“But Birdie”

Your honor, I cannot. I never want to see his face again. Please your honor, listen to me. Watch my moments. Assault of the highest order.

We’re adjourned

[drunkenhope]

Your honor, I said, break.

Yes your honor, I understand my accusations.

But your honor, he knew what he was doing.

He said, “Maddy won’t”

[drunkenhope]

You couldn’t even dangle? You had to be sitting? And warm?

Thanks for some stupid note.

DONT BLAME HER I LOVE HER

Fuck you alex.

Assault to the very core and word.

Assault.

I would take you to court. Your honor, this man is very dangerous. He breaks people. He does not deserve to go to Planet Earth. Yes your honor, under oath.

[drunkenhope]

Sitting criss cross on our bed.

And you fractured your neck in three places.

That’ll haunt me ‘til the day I fucking die.

Emotional assault.

Assault, Alex.

[drunkenhope]

Do you remember me screaming?

I said I don’t know who he is I don’t know where I am

They chased me up the stairs and grabbed me by both armpits, my feet were dragging.

You said I’m sorry I’m sorry

You were crying in the corner

But he was there, Alex. He said, “that’s the scene. roll the clip!” and he slammed the ambulance door.

That was before I even met him, Alex. He was there.

I was confronting you. Your spirit. In that very room.

These are my secrets and my truths.

And I’ll hold them, until the very end.

Ask God, for me, how he likes hell.

Overpopulation?

Do any of us get through?

I hope you enjoy walking.

[drunkenhope]

When will I ever let you go?

I see your pictures. I heard you said go.

We can’t be in the same place in time ever again but across time, I believe you’re still there.

And you never sound like you let me go. You’re right behind me and I listen and start running.

I don’t even think you made sure I got home that night.

But you said I’m watching. I can freeze it. Go.

Hit “em with it.

Do you remember that bus ride?

You said, “if I’m going to be your husband, you have to fart and poop in front of me first.”

Well, I had a lot of fun with that and #lol but we’re not like that and I don’t want to be. HE can. He has. once. I’m going to keep this relationship different.

I never and I mean, never, want to see you again.

A sweetie of mine 💕

Thanks for dying. Xx

[drunkenhope]

I said 25.

[drunkenhope]

And you know who saves me?

He does.

In real and fiction.

In Long Island city, it was after the apocalypse.

And I was so happy that his position got revealed and I said please let me go back.

I’ll take blindness. Just leave us be.

That’s Will.

He’s nothing like you but you could be pals.

He would never “uhm” crash the motorcycle and then get up and wish I had gotten hurt, too.

Just different but I said take my freedom, take my sight, I want to stay.

With you? Those moments? You were d-e-a-d but I walked you to your grave.

And guess what? You’re an ass.!

I would like to be released.

The guy that couldn’t fight, how was he dark? The game was to tap you without you tapping me? And I beat you.

Fuck you Alex. I hope you’re dead.