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We looked inside some of the posts by dspdick and here's what we found interesting.
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121K
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71K
Reblog Per Post
51K
Reply Per Post
24
Time Between Posts
4 days
Number of Posts By Type
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17
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shoutout to my sister for telling me that my crush looks at me like castiel looks at dean now im delusional
#like she said he looks at me like castiel looks at dean but with less lust#thats still a win in my eyes
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somebody put me down like a sick dog
#this crush is getting out of hand#first i started fantasizing about marriage#now CHILDREN#and on top of that i cant help but notice that i lowkey look like a character that couldve been his childhood crush#chat is this love or obsession ive only felt one and its not the fomer
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maybe im always going to be mentally ill. maybe there will always be something a little wrong with me
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absolutely diabolical note
well look at that, the inner monologue of a depressed, suicidal captain who went through ww2, had his only close friends die in his arms, was abandoned by his father and rejected by his mother and had to go through unimaginable trauma + stress before losing sight in one eye, having the other damaged and losing an ear, having the other damaged plus third-degree burns on half of his body is hitting a bit too close home. huh.
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well look at that, the inner monologue of a depressed, suicidal captain who went through ww2, had his only close friends die in his arms, was abandoned by his father and rejected by his mother and had to go through unimaginable trauma + stress before losing sight in one eye, having the other damaged and losing an ear, having the other damaged plus third-degree burns on half of his body is hitting a bit too close home. huh.
#i swing wildly between “im perfectly fine nothing bad has happened to me why would i be mentally ill”#and “i am a dramatic pos who pretends to have gone through hard times in her life when shes just sad sometimes”#and “if i dont use my skin as a chopping board im going to jump into oncoming traffic”#and sometimes (not as often lately) “its not like im going to get to live that long anyways. hitting 50 who?”#but thankfully my ambition is too strong. like im so scared of proving myself right and being an insignificant number more#who will be forgotten within 75 years of her death is making me want to actually be someone#so yay for that ig
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writing actual love letters to a guy i havent seen in 2 years (and never dated beyond some inexplicable lifelong connection between our souls or whatever) and feeling like i will never be able to love anyone romantically the way i love him
#yes i was playing fleetwood mac while i wrote the letters#and before writing the letter. when i was reading a fic about two exes getting back together#i truly am a masochist#anyways#time to play mitski and smoke a cigarette in my balcony as i Reminisce
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rocking back and forth what if im schizophrenic i dont want to handle more shit than i already do
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my hallucinations are coming back in full swing. like way more often than last time
#im scared like what if im schizophrenic and the money stress triggered it#i cant do a mental illness like that i already have my sleep disorder
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ooooh okay im single because i have high standards and unrealistic expectations of what a relationship is like okay i got it
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wikihow how to deal with secretly resenting everyone in your family and being bitter about everything 24/7
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my top hobbies are shame and embarrassment but i also occasionally dabble in envy
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hey chat does feeling betrayed over something my mother has absolutely no control over make me a bad daughter?
#i know there are no ultimately guilty people in this situation#but she said she was going to pay for my license#then she said i would have to get a job to pay for it#then she told me to ask my grandfather for the money#and then she said i could get my license this month!!#but then i couldnt.#because she made the stupid mistake of letting her father put the car lease to his name#and then he DIED#and now were struggling with the finance office thing#and it makes me so mad because she can shell out 70 euros on a pair of boots#or 200 euros in my sisters riding class#but i cant get my license because 350 euros is too much#im sick of always being the one getting the short end of the stick in my family!!!#like i get to be my moms therapist and my sisters second mother at age NINE#and then at age sixteen i get a sleep disorder out of nowhere that doctors still cant treat or diagnose#and that made me get worse grades than expected in high school and drop out of college#and im the sibling with the least friends!! i dont even have a decent group of friends irl#and now this.#can i get A FUCKING BREAK PLEASE?#i bet that when my sister wants to get her license she wont have to wait months for it#oh and on top of that i finally decided what i want to study but now my father is telling me to look for other degrees#ive decided that i wont#go fuck yourself bitchass maybe your old boss wouldnt have moved you from your department#if you hadnt been such a loud incompetent fool running your mouth about how you were going to take his place
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