dualtenacity

[dualtenacity]

My consciousness flickers to life, jolted awake by a terrible recurring dream I never remember. My breathing hitches slightly just before I realize where I am, glancing around in the dark, and I freeze as I begin trying to calm myself. I can just make out his arms around me - he's gently yet firmly hugging me to his chest, protectively. The knowledge he's so close is comforting in this moment. I don't move much, instead trying to make it seem like I've shifted a bit closer in my sleep. There's no need to wake him up at all. I don't want to worry him.

I can feel him hugging me slightly tighter, though I can't hear any indication he's woken up. He's breathing far too calmly to be awake.

As I lay there, taken by a bout of sleeplessness, my situation begins to make its full impact on me. A sense of girlish embarrassment and excitement settles in, putting butterflies in my stomach. When we'd gone to sleep, we were back to back, after all. There was no reason to suspect we'd end up like this, but we ended up here all the same.

The minutes tick by and a sudden feeling washes over me. One of mild concern, and a tired warmth. But it still doesn't sound like he's woken up, so I merely send back a small bit of warmth myself. Almost an acknowledging reply. It's hard to hide something when someone probes your emotions from inside yourself, but I can at least make it clear I'm only experiencing a temporary feeling, and that I know he's here.

[dualtenacity]

Hands slowly picking up strands of hair, fluffing it up and patting down the pieces that stuck out. A gentle touch, fingers brushing against my neck. I glance back a couple of times, even though I know who's there. There's a blush across my face - I'm sure he's noticed it. That and the shy, embarrassed smile on my face as we make idle chatter. He's doing one of the few things to help me get ready that I can't do for myself. After all, I can't see the back of my own head.

"You look fine," He tells me. "Splendid, even." I find myself not believing him too much. After all, this hair. These eyes. They're all wrong. I've never seen a single human or point-ear with such colors. Neither has he. Such things single a person out as different. Ugly. But I can't tell him that. I could never convince him otherwise. For all my protesting, he's never believed me.

A comforting sensation washes over me as I overthink those words of his, again and again.

"It makes you look as if you descended from the heavens," he said, though paused with a blush afterward. Despite being such a romantic, he was still shy about saying it aloud. Even though we'd spent all that time trying to admit to ourselves, let alone each other. I straightened up a little, grabbing his hand as it moved close again. "You can't truly mean that," I tell him. "I'm just that little weasel-haired girl that talks too much and---"

He stops me mid-sentence, putting his arms around my shoulders. "More cute mouse than wiry weasel," He says. "And please, talk more. Your voice soothes me." My face is bright red, and though I try to hide it, I'm certain he knows. His head moves to my shoulder, his cheek against mine, and I can just see his warm smile from the corner of my eye. It's like he's become a bit of a love-drunk fool. Not that I'm any better. Once we'd admitted it, it was like a door had been opened.

I turn to kiss his cheek, and I can just see the smoke rising from his ears. Romantic acts break him every time, and I can't help but find it adorable. It's like he wants to melt from the intensity of his feelings, and those shared sensations bounce between us, growing in strength the longer we stay positioned as we are. I don't mind, and it seems neither does he.

[dualtenacity]

In an Alternate Timeline

His eyes opened to a dark ceiling. Distantly, a torch flickered, leaving faint trails of light across the room. “Ugh…” A deep, piercing ache clung to his chest as he sat, glancing around slowly. He grit his teeth as he made his way to sit against the wall of his cell, leaning back to sigh for the small bit of relief. The cool stone was a contrast to how hot he felt. Was he feverish? He was dripping with sweat. It was uncomfortable, and made him feel like he was sick for the first time in forever. But…he knew he wasn’t.

It was shocking every time a new wave came across him, though he expected it at this point. And he had to deal with this alone, in an unfamiliar place to bet. He wished he wasn’t. He knew she was alive somewhere in this place, but there was no way for him to ask. The people spoke an unrecognizable language - something he didn’t have a way to easily learn. There was no time for classes. After all, it was wartime. They were spending all their time training for war, nothing more. What war, he wasn’t sure. But it gave everyone quite a busy schedule, one that he couldn’t argue with at this time. Not when he was in the position he was in.

Gods��if only I could ask about her.

The ache flared again and it took all he had to stay quiet and still. No one could know, but…if it was this intense for himself, he could only imagine how it might have been for her. She’d been much worse off the last he saw of her. So much worse that he didn’t even want to think about it. The terribleness of that moment in time had been far too much for him, and likely her as well. Just the consideration of thinking about it made him feel far more unwell than he already was. He only hoped that she didn’t remember any of it - that would be a relief to him. 

He glanced past the bars of his cell and at the cell across the hall. The person inside was entirely asleep. Good. There was no reason to seem fine on the outside anymore. No one would see his every grimace and silent struggle. It was a good thing - his problems were not only his own, but also related to taboo acts that could have gotten him in serious social and legal trouble. Then again, no one seemed to have caught on before, when the sensation flared outside, when it should have been quite obvious. Surely, if she were even awake, she would have noticed this as well. It was strange for no one to notice something so very obviously taboo.

A momentary pause jolted him. He glanced around, unsure of what it was. He’d felt…something. Or heard. Or sensed. It was something different to the norm, and he had no idea what he was dealing with. But when he began to concentrate on it, it seemed to go away for a moment. What a waste - it was already gone, he supposed. But as he kept concentrating, it intensified and solidified within him. There was only one thing he could think of when it came to this: a bond ability. Dynamis. He took this time to ponder why it would be that. It was always said the bond would only grant abilities to special people, or the extremely lucky.

He closed his eyes as another wave came through, the sensation like a red-hot blade carving into his chest. Fire so intense he had to put his focus elsewhere, or he feared his consciousness would fade away from the strain. But…there really wasn’t anything to focus on except this small sensation he’d sensed. The unfamiliar, formless thing that had done…something, at least. He wasn’t quite sure what it was yet. But it seemed to be forming. He could feel it. And it was the only thing that stood out enough to focus on at the moment.

For a while, there was only agony. But then…he realized she was right there. His eyes opened and he glanced around like a lost puppy, and realized there was nothing. Except…he could sense her there. Right there….somewhere. Maybe she wasn’t there. But he could, for some reason, hear her nearby…or maybe not nearby. He couldn’t quite tell. She was weak, and seemed to be suffering just the same as he was. But she was alive. Alive, regardless of everything else. It was almost music to his ears.

But in that moment, just knowing she lived was enough for him.

[dualtenacity]

Hair dark and tangled with mud, covered in a leather hood, dripping from the rain. Shivering from the cold. She walked down the street, head slightly downcast, hands in her pockets. She was searching, just as ordered. She was a good little amateur servant, just as her superiors had ordered. It wasn’t like she had anything else to do with herself, anywhere else to go. No memory of a life before, no money. What a joke everything was now. All the resources in the world that could go out and look for her identity, and they still couldn’t find a thing. Even with her out of place hair and eyes. Hands that hadn’t seen a day of physical work. 

And now? Now she was walking around a city she barely recognized, dressed up in a ridiculous disguise she came up with on the spot. She was even acting like a hooligan, ready to fight whatever came her way. A small part of her relished that fight.

She kicked a stone as she walked, sighing. She didn’t like how they’d suddenly come up to her, declaring she was to find herself a partner. Not one she chose herself, of course. Instead, it was a specific person they’d had in mind…but they gave her no detail about him whatsoever, other than the fact that this person was searching for her, as well. It must have been some sort of test - a way to prove her abilities in the field. But to her, it had to have been some kind of joke. They really didn’t trust her, did they? They were practically setting her up for failure. She hadn’t even been allowed to go solo for a a day, and suddenly this happens. After all that training, she wasn’t even worth doing anything for them on her own.

He walked down the road, an umbrella over his head. What a farce this had been. His task was to find one single woman in the city, someone of very uncommon appearance, even. Yet it was taking so much longer than it should have. He figured she must have been covering a lot of ground in a short period of time. Otherwise, how could she have evaded him for so many hours? He twirled the umbrella idly as he walked, sighing to himself. Had his time run out yet? He couldn’t stand going back empty handed, but it seemed so unusual that his task was so difficult this time. It was bad enough that he had to find someone who was supposed to be his working partner, but apparently the intel he’d gotten was completely bogus. It wasn’t unusual if it was contracted work, but this was something from his own boss. Usually, his bosses would have their shit more together, he thought.

How else would this have failed so hard, if not for the basic info of the person he was looking for being bad? A woman in her 30s. Short, light brown hair and blue eyes. Five foot four. It wasn’t a common look - after all, humans had their dark features, and pointed-ears had their silvery-white features. With all his reasoning, someone who looked like that should have been incredibly easy to spot. No one else in the entire city would ever look like that, not even of their own accord.

The two figures finally chanced upon the same sidewalk, going opposite ways. As they passed each other, their eyes met. And with it, came a spark between them.

She’d seen him a few times as she’d passed around the city, but had written him off as a busy businessman of some kind. Something about him seemed to make her pause, watching him for a time. Some strange form of attraction, maybe. He wasn’t bad to look at, after all. But the more she spotted him, the more it became apparent to her that he’d been wandering around all day in the same manner she was. To her, that had to mean something. Perhaps, she thought, he was lost. Maybe looking for something…or someone.

Call it pointed-ear intuition, but without quite knowing why, that once glance into her eyes made his blood boil. The feeling was weak and distant, but there was subconscious recognition of some quality he couldn’t quite name, something that couldn’t be seen on purpose. He could tell there was something about her that made her dangerous - perhaps even deadly, if he didn’t handle this delicately enough. And, he was lucky: for once, his colorblindness didn’t stop him from seeing that she had blue eyes. This had to be her.

“What’re you lookin’ at, bozo?” She suddenly snarled, stopping and crossing her arms. She surprised herself by her sudden nasty tone, but kept her emotions in check. It helped that she didn’t look directly up at him, instead glancing toward him with just her eyes. There was a small eye roll as she waited for her response. If there was any time to stay calm, it was now. If she was to find out if this was the man she was told to look for, it was better he didn’t know what she was doing or why. After all, if this wasn’t him, it was best she didn’t get him involved if she didn’t have to. Especially if he wasn’t already.

She pushed back her feelings of apprehension and excitement, making sure her face was awash with an arrogant, almost lifeless look. Like the look someone had when they were a street punk with nothing left to lose.Though she gazed at him through her hair, only one of her eyes would be visible to him past that matted, muddy mess. It only made her look more intimidating. And while she analyzed him, it almost appeared as if she was gazing into his soul.

He raised an eyebrow as he returned her gaze, sharp and tired. Oh so tired. He probably should have taken a break - maybe he wouldn’t have such great eye bags… it didn’t look good for him at all. “You look like a dark spirit, and yet you’re calling me a bozo?” He asked. “Funny.” His voice was harsh and it burned to speak. He hadn’t had anything to eat or drink since morning, and it was beginning to take its toll. He definitely should have stopped for a moment. It definitely wasn’t healthy to go so long so parched.

“Motherfucker, who are you to call a human a dark spirit?” She adjusted her hood, flicking wet drips all over. Her mouth angled into a sort of sarcastic snarl, and her eyes rolled once again. “Some people. It’s like you think I want to curse your stupid ass. Maybe even kill you.” She adjusted her footing, hoping he’d get the hint and leave her alone. If this was just another creep coming up to her, as had happened a few times before, she didn’t want to deal with it. She hated the feeling of being harassed, and this definitely felt something like that. Though, she did technically start it, what with her tough street rat act…

He paused, not entirely sure how he was supposed to take that message. It was a bit threatening, yes, just like her demeanor and appearance. Though, it was also a bit defensive - anyone with that kind of attitude was always on the defensive from something. Mostly. He stretched a bit, cracking his knuckles as he did so. He didn’t want to hit a woman, but if she hit him first then he’d have no choice but to defend himself. Something about her was definitely putting him on edge, and it wasn’t just the attitude and appearance. Was it the way she looked at him? The way she spoke? “You know, even in self-defense, I don’t normally hit women.” If this wasn’t the girl he was looking for, it had to be another training partner. There had been a few of them throughout the day. He’d gotten good at identifying most of them at a glance. 

“Wow, do you want a medal, Asklepios?” She asked, pulling her sleeves back a little and beginning to walk again. “Annoying.” She didn’t want to attack him either, but she was definitely geared up for something. Hopefully he wouldn’t take the bait, but if he did…no big deal, right? She could deal with a man. She’d gone through the same training as everyone else. But it was still so nerve wracking. It always was when she was starting a fight with no backup. There was no way to get out of things once they started. Not even if this guy turned out far different than what she expected.

He sighed, moving to follow her. Those blue eyes… It had to be her. He hadn’t seen anyone else with such eyes all day. There was no way this was anyone else. He had to follow her, to make certain of his suspicion. This was the only way. “Wait,” he said, reaching to grab her arm. “I have something I need to ask you. It’s important.” Maybe he might have been a bit rough, but he didn’t consider this at all. He needed answers, that was all.

She pulled her arm away as fast as she could. “Something to ask me? What are you, a fucking creep?” She responded, moving a little faster. “Leave me alone, or else.” A valid threat this time. She really was going to punch him, or kick him, do something if he was going to be a creep. She stormed off as quickly as possible, resisting the urge to go down an alley and disappear. She could do that, but it wouldn’t be in the spirit of this…test, torture, whatever it was she was doing at the moment. This just had to be a creep. A normal city creep looking for a date.

She subtly glanced in his direction after a few moments, hoping he’d given up. God, she hated this city. She just had to find her new partner and get out, and she’d be done with it forever. Or, at the very least…she wouldn’t have to deal with it alone anymore. But he hadn’t given up, it seemed. He was still behind her, hurrying to catch up. She swore under her breath, turning right way around for a moment before abruptly stopping and turning on her heels. “Leave. Me. Alone,” she spat. “I’m not in the mood right now, asshole.”

“Just wait. I’m—”

She didn’t wait for him to finish. She threw a punch straight at his face. What she didn’t expect was for him to dodge, dropping his umbrella and nearly hitting her with it. And she also didn’t expect for him to return her punch with one of his own, to which she quickly responded. A whole fistfight had broken out between them. Their movements were both expertly trained, and it soon became apparent they were intended to pair. Both seemed to synchronize their movements the longer they fought, and soon they were flipping and dodging as if performing a dance more than fighting.

But her stamina didn’t hold out. Soon, she took a step back, breathing heavy. Her fists were still raised, and she abruptly pushed her hair from her face. Her hood slipped down, though her hair still covered too much to see her face clearly. “Come at me,” she blurted, fixing her stance as she spoke. She was ready for anything at this point. So when he came toward her, she grabbed him by the wrists and performed a movement that caused herself to vault straight over his head and behind him. Afterward, she moved to kick him. But she wasn’t fast enough, as his knee jerk response to all of this was to punch her so hard she instantly fell to the ground.

He took a moment, sighing. “Gods be damned, what was her problem?” Finally he knelt down to get a good look at this girl. He pulled her hood back and checked out her hair. Just the right length and, presumably, color as well. This had to be her. He went a bit pale. Shit. None of the job details had said he was supposed to knock her out. Would this detract from his performance record? “How am I going to explain this to—” He paused, looking down the street. Someone was coming. They had to go, and quickly. He picked her up, noting in the back of his mind how light she was. And then, he left with her.

Gods, she’s going to hate me later. I think I broke her nose.

[dualtenacity]

Spring, 89251905

Dodacia, Dorm 09

It’s kind of strange to think about, but I’ve realized I have no memories of my life before today. Nothing. No name, no age, not even where I’m from or names of people I might know. All I have is my appearance and the few items found on my person. Apparently, the people that took me in are going to look into those items soon. Until then, I’m left with nothing. But, they’ve given me a temporary name, at least. Something they can call me by until they find out who I really am. The name is Giada, as when they found me I had been wearing clothing the color of green gems.

I actually woke up today. They said I’d been unconscious for months. Awake, yet unconscious. How preposterous is that? I almost laughed when they told me that. But the other half of the story they gave me was quite unsettling, and I cut them off halfway. I’m kind of scared to know what might have happened to me to give me such an affliction. It was giving me bad vibes from the moment they began telling it. All I got out of it was that it was some sort of assassination attempt.

On the other hand, they’d been training me in combat. Apparently this assassination attempt was such that I should know how to defend myself before going back out into the world. After all, it wouldn’t do for them to save me, just to be targeted once again with a successful attempt, now would it? At least, that’s how I’m choosing to see it. The other way to see things would be that I’m going to be some sort of combat slave! I strongly hope not, but you never know. Conspiracies might help in this situation.

But not much. They’ve actually got me cooped up in one of the rooms in the back of the biggest brothels in Dodacia, and apparently I’m going to get strict language lessons every day until I catch onto the words on my own. It’s like they expect me to stay once I’ve fully recovered! Laughable. But at least the people have been nice. The man (woman?) that came up with my temporary name is as sweet as can be. He’s been treating me a bit like a child, which I don’t appreciate, but at least like his own child, rather than some stray babe.  He came in an hour ago dressed and sounding like a woman. It’s apparently something called “drag”. He claimed his name while in costume was “Mama”. I’m not sure if I quite understand the idea right now. But he was nice enough to check up on me, I suppose!

Apparently dinner is in twenty minutes, though. Dinner, and then a bath. It sounds like everyone’s going to go as a group to one of those public baths. I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle that, especially not if it were mixed gender! Gods above, let’s hope they’re not mixed. 

This place scares me. I want to go home…wherever that is.

[dualtenacity]

Close to You

Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?

It’s five minutes before you realize you’ve been staring. Your notebook’s open in front of you and you’ve begun scribbling on the open page, and you never realized it until just now. It’s her face. You’re no artist, but you’ve begun a crude attempt at drawing her face. You don’t know why, but after the earlier introductions, you’d been drawn to watch her. Something about her captivated you. Was it her voice? The vibrant color of her eyes? Her hair, which naturally came in a color you’d never seen another person have in your entire life?

Just like me, they long to be close to you.

Just as you notice her begin to glance your way, you look back down to the pages. You’d begun with her eyes. The striking look she’d been giving the person next to her was something to remember. The slight smile one could see in them. Even though she wore no makeup, there was an odd beauty in that. You try to carry that over to the amateur scrawling on the pages. You don’t realize how engrossed you’ve become in getting every stroke of the pencil correct. How you’re no longer glancing up from the paper. Just a few more lines here, and it would be perfect, you think.

Why do stars fall down from the sky, every time you walk by?

Your concentration is broken by a hand slamming down in front of you, and you quickly shut the notebook as you look up. It’s her. She’s walked over. She’s leaning over you, a smug smirk on her face. All you can do at this moment is choke out a small hello. You’re nervous. Even though you’ve been trained on how to interact with people calmly, you’re unable to handle this one interaction. Something’s come over you, and you can’t even fathom what it might be. “Concentrating hard?” She asks you. And all you can do in response is nod.

Just like me, they long to be close to you.

There were a thousand things you wanted to ask. A million things you wanted to say. But it was all gone in an instant. So all you manage to ask is job details. You were meant to go out today as a test, right? Just the two of you, to test whether she was ready to go, and to test whether you could handle having a work partner. She starts going off on a small ramble, explaining what she was told the itinerary is for today, and you can’t help but admire the way she has with words. Despite her going on and on, sounding exceedingly random, you can understand her. Like you can understand no one else.

On the day that you were born, the angels got together and decided to create a dream come true.

It’s only minutes before you’re ready, and she’s ready. You’re off, outside the workplace and into the city. It only took a moment of discussion to decide what cover to use while taking the job: she and you would be a couple. The thought excites you, even now, as you’re holding hands and walking side by side. Casual conversation passes between you and her, and for a moment you allow yourself to flash her a genuine smile. But the thought comes to mind that this is only temporary. A ruse for the higher ups and anyone on the outside. Fake. But, you hope, something that might help build a bit of a bridge.

So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold and starlight in your eyes so blue.

At the day’s end, you’re sitting in the lounge with a cigarette, watching her again from afar. You can hear what she’s saying to her new coworkers. “And wouldn’t you believe it, he asked me ‘do you know how cute you are’? He sounded so genuine. It felt nice to hear, even if it wasn’t real.” They look at her suspiciously, like they’re thinking the same thing as you: it was real. It’s like she’s not seeing any reason for someone to be entranced with her. You understand the feeling. There’s no reason she’d ever look at you.

That is why all the boys in town follow you all around.

You pull out your notebook again and watch her for a moment, and then look back down to add more to the drawing you’d started this morning. It’s a far cry from a good sketch. You aren’t much of an artist, after all. And all you want to do is capture her in this moment…or rather, time period, perhaps. After that new mark you just made to the page, it’s become more than a record of a single moment. Minutes pass before you look up again, and she’s still there, smiling and laughing as she makes conversation. You watch her carefully, taking in the beautiful sight of that expression. Maybe you’d finish the drawing later.

Just like me, they long to be close to you.

[dualtenacity]

The dark room is quiet.

I’m awoken by my new supernatural senses tugging at the back of my mind and, vaguely, my ears as well. Worry slowly creeps over me as my eyes open. The constant, rhythmic thudding sound I could hear with my new ability had alerted me. I’d woken up after that kicked my instincts a bit. I glance around without sitting up, scanning for something in the environment that might be amiss, but I find nothing. And so, I close my eyes once more. Nothing is wrong, it seems. And yet… I focus on the sound that now pervades every moment of my life. It increases in volume as I do so - the result of consciously using my ability. I stay still, listening, and note that the sound had quickened from the usual pace. Odd.

I turn to look at my companion - we’re laying back to back at the moment. Though it’s dark, I can make out her still form. Her pale, mousy hair and her soft breathing. She’s curled up a little, almost looking as if she’s cold. Completely asleep, I think to myself, holding back a quiet chuckle. Nothing’s wrong, so I can only guess she’s dreaming some exciting dream. I always wonder what that might be, some nights, but I never ask. She had to have privacy somewhere, after all. It wasn’t like we were apart long enough for her to have much.

After a short moment watching her in that twisted, uncomfortable position, I turn over completely and wrap my arms around her, in a gently protective way. She stirs at my touch, yet doesn’t wake. I think she knows it’s just me. “Relax,” I murmur against her ear. I don’t realize I’m speaking until the word falls from my lips. “You’re safe.” I’m almost surprised at how tired I sound, and the effort it takes to sound clear despite that.  I wonder if that might wake her up - I never intended to do that.

“I know,” comes her response. Quiet and murmured, like an automatic response made while asleep. She breathes a deep sigh and begins to relax in my arms. I can’t help but smile a little. The sound in my ears is slowing down again, back to that slow rhythm of deep sleep. It’s calm. I can’t help but wonder if her dream had changed, or if this position was simply more comfortable to her. I find myself nuzzling into her hair, ever so slightly, as I get comfortable myself. Everything quiets down again as I release my focus. Though, I hesitate to do so - I’ve wondered if I could sleep with that special sound loud. By my best guess, I likely could, if focusing didn’t require conscious concentration, and prolonged focus didn’t cause strain. After all, the sound is calming. Reassuring. Warm.

Warm, just like her. Even in her sleep, she’s begun intertwining our fingers. I can’t deny how being close like this makes me feel…though I won’t tell her. The thought of revealing those feelings makes me as nervous as a boy introducing himself in a new school. She likely wouldn’t mind, but I would. Expressing emotion is difficult for me, even if just to do something like this. Even so, she’ll probably be able to sense it. That’s the kind of connection we have now. Just as I can sense the vague things she’s projecting in her sleep. Nothing too concrete - nothing is quite so black and white while you dream - but certainly positive, warm things. Things that calm me. Calming enough that I find myself drifting back to sleep, holding onto her protectively.

This is love, I project wordlessly. Yes, it is, comes the returned feeling.