dudejonathan

[dudejonathan]

Europe trip: by the numbers

42 days

~864,953 steps taken (I actually did the math)

15 cities

12 UNESCO World Heritage Sites (I think)

20 different beds

(Only) 6 tank tops bought

5 leisurely swims (in 5 countries)

2 liters of Coca Cola passed from father to daughter for 10 second chugs on the Amsterdam ferry (one of the most irresponsible acts of parenting I have ever seen)

20 museums visited

8 solo sit-down dinners

2 day-of AirBnB cancellations

3 cities explored with Garrett McKenna

1 pocket olive

[dudejonathan]

Bonus content: Aruba

So I was going to do an extra few posts about my Aruba trip, but I don’t think the place was nearly interesting enough to warrant a daily entry.

Oh, yea. I went to Aruba. I know I never mentioned that in my previous posts 😬 I got back Tuesday night, basically dumped my entire suitcase in the laundry Wednesday, then repacked, and headed back out Thursday morning.

My time in Aruba really made me appreciate how special, cultural, historical and authentic Europe can be. Don’t get me wrong, celebrating my friend Dave Swanson getting married to Constance was great, and seeing old friends from Chicago and other places is always a very fun experience. But Aruba just feels so inauthentic.

There’s no identity, or charm, or feel to Aruba. The whole time I kept trying to get “it”, and really never did. It’s basically a much less exciting Miami. Sure, the beaches are nice, the water is gorgeous and there is a pleasant ever-present breeze. But juxtaposed against the still very fresh memories of all the incredible things I did in Europe, this was just a very unsatisfying spot.

When my Dad and I would go to places like this on our scuba diving adventures (Cozumel, Cayman Islands, Honduras), we’d always want to get a local flavor and get into “the action”. That didn’t seem possible here (though I’m sure there’s something cool and local that I missed), as it just felt like one big American tourist trap.

It actually reminded me of being on a cruise ship, without the ship. You are limited in what you can do, nothing feels original, everything feels safe/familiar, and you kind of just get stuck in a Groundhog Day scenario.

The point of all of this is A) it’s really quite great to do a solo trip where the agenda is just what you want to do at every moment and B) Europe is so rich and special. I am so grateful to have done this trip, and I have a strong suspicion I’ll be doing something like it for many summers to come.

[dudejonathan]

Day 42: Berlin

I awoke from a hard slumber, got my last European mobile workout in (I’ve actually enjoyed these - finding random parks, being creative with body weight or bands, getting sun, energizing my day, etc), and off I went on another ~30,000 step day. The good news about all that walking is I get a chance to pass by so many bad Berlin haircuts!

For a reference point, doctor’s suggest 10,000 steps per day, and most people get between 5,000 - 8,000 (I know this because earlier on the trip I was curious as to how much walking I was doing compared to recommendations).

It began with a walk to a spot called Konnopke, recommended by the hostel and the Google as the best currywurst. I actually got 2! It was really cool - just a small spot right under a train station. I felt like an in the know local.

From there, I walked the long way to Museum Island. Not particularly interested in going to any museums here (there was one that caught my eye, but it was my last day and I had done plenty of museums on the trip, including very recently with my two-a-days in Vienna). I wasn’t particularly impressed with Museum Island, as it seemed chock full o’ construction and the buildings (except one cathedral) simply weren’t that grand (again, unfairly comparing it to Vienna in my mind).

Next, I mapped out some historical tourists sites, so I went about knocking those off the list.

I was going to first head to buy a cool Berlin tank top from a store that was closed when I passed it Saturday night, but somehow accidentally changed my Google Maps destination to Checkpoint Charlie. So, I went with this slightly more inconvenient route (adding to the steps).

I took in a bit of the history of Checkpoint Charlie, the former US controlled area between East and West Berlin (not sure if it’s still technically US controlled). Quite a small thing to see, but definitely a worthwhile piece of history. There were two guards there that posed with American flags and tourists, and the flag on top of it was notably at half mast for the passing of senator John McCain.

From there, I walked to the store to get some tanks, and it was right by the “piano” bar from Saturday night. With my feet hurting, I decided to take a breather with a Guinness at Murphy’s, the Irish bar I described a few posts ago that I had a beer at 3 years ago when passing through Berlin (where the scream-singing Brits were). I was feeling reminisce-y and enjoyed the relaxation.

Eventually I decided to get moving, as I had a 6pm work call, so I needed to hit a few more spots before returning to the hostel. I meandered along a river that has a lovely, small pergola (I’m a sucker for a good pergola), and then to the Richestag government building. I didn’t go in, but it did seem kind of cool that it’s a clear building that allows the public to look down and observe the parliament at work. Apparently this was built to allow Germans better visibility into what the government was doing after their sordid past.

Next was the Brandenburg Gate. The gate is nothing particularly special (thanks Vienna), but it was a symbol of East/West unification as it was in no man’s land when Berlin was split (it was also heavily damaged by bombing in WWII and restored). The square around it was quite touristy, but I mobilized to the Tiergarden Park that I had read so much about.

Frankly, not that special of a park. This is going to come off very NY snobby, but Central Park is way better - both in what to see, and how it’s maintained. As a mentioned in my last random thought, the grass was not lush in the least.

After trying to find something to enjoy in the park (I didn’t), I headed off to Postdammer Platz. This was cool! Lots of modern architecture to see here, and another piece of the Berlin Wall (which I realized when I got there I had briefly seen on my last trip). I walked around and enjoyed the sleek glass buildings and covered plaza area, and then popped back to the hostel for my call.

Post call I was trying to figure out what to do on my last night in Berlin, and on this trip. I was very worn out, and the idea of drinking and checking out bars didn’t appeal to me much. I did want to see some edgy, cool local spots (as I felt there were a plethora of them that I hadn’t experienced), but bar hopping just wasn’t in the cards.

This was one of those moments I had to tell myself that it’s OK to not see/do everything.

So! One of the top rated things on the Atlas Obscura site was to go to the Liquidrom. It’s a spa thing that’s open until midnight, so off I went.

First thing that surprised me, the lockers/showers are shared by both sexes. Those progressive Europeans! The second surprising thing: lotsa dongs. Just dongs everywhere. Once you embrace the nudity, it becomes a cool experience. There were saunas, a few small indoor and outdoor pools, a bar, lounge chairs, etc. The star of the show, however, was the Liquidrom pool.

It’s a salt water pool that has wacky noodles in it to assist in the weightless floating. There was some soft techno music and cool lighting, and the coolest part is you can hear the music underwater. You lay back, your ears submerge and you hear the music. Sometimes it even seemed like you were getting bonus beats that lay in top of the beats you hear above the water.

I did 3 separate trips in this very cool pool experience, and around 11pm went home to get some sleep before my 5am wake up for my Berlin - Madrid - Charlotte - New York flight.

[dudejonathan]

Random thought

Parks in Europe simply aren’t maintained the way they are in the US. The grass is never lush or green, there usually aren’t particularly interesting plant/tree displays, benches are often in disrepair, etc.

This was one of those things that I never would have thought about, but it makes me appreciate the greatness of the parks in NYC.

Perhaps it’s that they don’t use chemicals (which is a good thing), or just aren’t nearly as obsessive about landscape architecture, but it is something (very randomly) that I’ve missed about home.

[dudejonathan]

More of Berlin, featuring:

- The Statue of LiBEARty (my name) at the US Embassy, as the Berlin mascot is a bear

- The cool and modern architecture of Postdammer Platz, an old East Berlin area

- Liquidrom, the futuristic spa I went to on my last night with a salt pool and underwater beats

[dudejonathan]

Random thought

I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating. Who gets flights out of the first gate in a terminal? Are they the flights that go to Transylvania, or the Bermuda Triangle?

And who are the folks that get the first piece of luggage on the baggage claim? Dracula? Amelia Earhart?

[dudejonathan]

A day in Berlin, consisting of:

- Currywurst under a train station (weird food, but I don’t hate it!)

- Museum Island

- Checkpoint Charlie (with flag at half mast for John McCain)

- The Brandenburg Gate, a symbol of the East/West reunification, as it used to be in no man’s land (also needed restoration after WWII)

- The powerful Memorial to the Murdered Jews, featuring 2,711 of these stone columns (seems hard to believe)

[dudejonathan]

Day 41: Berlin

A little rough around the edges for the second morning in a row, I checked out of my swanky hotel, did a workout, then sought out breakfast.

Google Maps showed me the Cinema Cafe that was recommended in the top hidden spots of Berlin, so I went to there! It was down a alley with lots of street art, some other little cafe/bars, and some folks taking photos of the whole place. It was very cool, and felt like real Berlin. A repurposing of old, run down spaces with colorful street art and unique cafes. It was a hidden gem for sure.

I went to the cafe and got a coffee, but the only food they served was popcorn, which seemed strange. After looking around for awhile and trying to figure out the deal (without looking too clueless), I realized I was at a movie theater (of sorts). Definitely a small, weird, indy movie hall. Not the right place for breakfast it seems, but glad I went there nonetheless.

I got a mediocre Sandro at a different cafe, got my bags and headed to my new hostel. After settling in, I was ravenously hungry, so off I went in my neighborhood to get a bite. I found a Thai place, which did the trick. German food doesn’t interest me much...

From there I went to Mauerpark to really immerse myself with the hipsters. There were so many “trying to be weird” weirdos there. There were drum circles, a dude in Mad Max style gear playing a PVC pipe didgeridoo, etc. All the people hanging around were drinking beers, hanging out and just being uberhipsters. Everyone was sitting on a hill, overlooking it all.

Apparently there is usually a huge guerrilla-style karaoke thing that happens on Sunday afternoons there in an abandoned stadium, but for some reason (because Berlin), just not this Sunday. I was quite disappointed.

There was also a super crowded flea market with new and used goods alike. If only I needed a door handle or a singular sconce! No tank tops of interest there, but some incredible people watching. I didn’t stick out too much here, as everyone tries so hard to stick out. Definitely a worthwhile experience going to the flea market, if just for seeing the terrible haircuts and purposefully stupid styles of the other attendees. (I did get a so-so Argentinian beef sandwich and a beer here too - seemed like what the locals were doing, so I followed suit and ate/drank on the aforementioned hill).

I walked back around my neighborhood, and found an old gas station(pic below) that was repurposed into a little art center. It had a cone for an overhead light! Just so damn Berlin.

After this, I wanted to get the East Side Gallery to see the longest remaining part of the Berlin Wall (I think). Plus, lots of stuff is oddly closed on Sunday (didn’t strike me as a particularly Catholic country), so this being outdoors was ideal.

I walked a big part of the wall, observing the different types of art from the 188 (I think) artists that decorated this in 1990. There were political statements, crazy abstract pieces, straight up graffiti and hopeful messages. It was very cool to see (pics below), and equal parts stoic and celebratory.

I then crossed a river deeper into East Berlin and walked around for awhile. It reminded me a lot of Alphabet City in New York, with random bars, restaurants and cafes everywhere, but with a good touch of grit. It was cool to just walk around for awhile here. A McDonalds there had an abandoned yellow school bus parked on its lawn, because Berlin.

Once done, I checked out a slightly different part of the wall from before, and then headed back to the hostel because it was cold (unseasonably, I hope for them) and I needed to layer up and grab dinner.

From there, I got some great Indian food, that I idiotically asked for very spicy (it was one of those compounding spicy things that you don’t notice until it’s too late). After, I headed to a decidedly uncozy (and iunfriendly, at least to tourists) local wine bar to close out my night. I was very weary after the back to back big nights in Vienna and Berlin, so I got home and got some hard Zs. Capital Zs.

[dudejonathan]

The first picture I thought as a symbol of Berlin - repurposing something bleak or abandoned (like a gas station), and turning it into art.

The other photos are of the Berlin Wall. It evokes many emotions. It’s beautiful, but clearly remains as a marker to a very awful period for humanity. This part, the East Side Gallery, was painted by 188 (I think) artists in 1990, who were invited from all over the world (pre-internet, how did thing like that even happen?)

[dudejonathan]

Berlin is filled with awesome street art around every corner. It certainly helps liven up otherwise bleak spaces.

[dudejonathan]

Random thought

German rap is, in a word, awful.

[dudejonathan]

Day 40: Vienna/Berlin

I woke up (which wasn’t a foregone conclusion given the night before), very tired, and checked out an hour later than I was supposed to. Whatever, I needed the max time to get myself motivated.

I went to a cafe for some breakfast and planning for Berlin. After that, I went to the Kunsthistorisches for 2 hours. A really elegant museum with Roman busts, Egyptian/Roman artifacts, old masters paintings (meh) and Gustav Klimt’s frescos near the ceiling of the grand and ornate main staircase. Again, they love them some Klimt here! Funny that I saw that immersive art thing of his work in Paris before learning more about him, and seeing some of those works in their original state.

I was struggling a bit at this museum, but enjoyed it immensely. It was like a way more digestible The Met in New York.

Yvette was going to the Sacher Cafe (same place as yesterday) when I was wrapping up, so I figured I’d join her and have the cake for the second day in a row. What a glutton!

After making quick work of that, I was off to the airport. I always take apples from the lounges for whatever reason, and the apples brought me back to life somewhat.

Upon landing in Berlin, my AirBnB cancelled on me, leaving me scrambling for an hour and a half to find a spot. It was eerily similar to my struggles for night one in Budapest.

I eventually needed to splurge a bit and book a nice, modern spot called the Hotel Amaro, in the Mitte district. They upgraded me to an apartment, which was pretty damn cool. It was my nicest lodging of the trip, with views of the neighborhood and the famous (now defunct) radio tower.

Given it was 10pm, I was super hungry, so I got some food and drinks at a hipster place near me. As a matter of fact, they’re all hipster places! People try so hard to be weird/different here, it’s amusing and somewhat laughable.

I went back to my room, and strongly considered calling it a night, as I was pretty wiped. I took a nap from 11:45pm to 12:15am, awaking to the sounds of Uptown Funk being played at a function hall thing across the way. The devil and angel appeared on my shoulder, and the devil won.

Out I went, walking to Vincent’s Piano Bar. I passed by so many pleasant weirdos, and eventually found my way to the bar. I got a big kick out of the fact it was right next to an Irish bar I went to 3 summers ago when I was here to an overnight. It was the UEFA European soccer championships in Berlin that night, and I was drawn to some Brits scream-singing the Beach Boys’ Sloop John B. I joined them in the merriment. That memory created a very wide and nostalgic smile.

I didn’t spend long in the bar (presumably named due to all the Van Gogh’s on the wall) as there was no piano music. I felt kind of cheated. Don’t Tell Mama this wasn’t. And the bartender was weird and brusque with other customers, so I didn’t want to patronize the establishment.

In an Uber I went to the Soda Club to meet local Ryann (two Ns, I know I know) and dance with her and her friends. The place was massive! It had like 8 rooms. It was a pretty cool place, not a trashy Euro club that I was worried it would be like. We partied here for quite some time, as I lost track of time (it was the wee hours, there were so many rooms, I met so many people, laser lights, etc).

At ? o’clock (after 3:30am) I went back to sprawl in my wonderfully large and plush bed at The Amaro.

[dudejonathan]

German is a severe language.

[dudejonathan]

This gentleman deserves his own post.

He needed hot water (for tea?) so Goddamn badly he brought a full size water heater and a converter.

He was just wandering the airport looking for a plug, spilling water out of the top of that thing.

And I know what you’re thinking, “Vienna doesn’t sell tea.” Not so! I had some today!

[dudejonathan]

Random thought

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - European airports are incredible with their efficiency. It must be such a shock for others when they come to the chaos of US airports.

In Vienna, there was basically an airport worker per traveler. They even opened another line for me because there were like 3 people in front of me.

Bathrooms are always down or up stairs though. So, Europe: 3 stars.

[dudejonathan]

Day 39: Vienna

First thing in the morning, Garrett helped guide me in the process of calling an audible, and I decided my next and last destination on my trip will be 🥁🥁🥁Berlin!

After a quick workout, I had planned to reward myself with a Sacher Torte for breakfast. So I did!

I returned to the famous cafe I went with Garrett and Fra 3 years ago, and got their wonderful chocolate cake (not too sweet, great texture, slight apricot taste). I was so excited to bang back some of their incredibly delicious bellinis and start my day with a buzz, but they didn’t have them anymore! This was very disappointing, so I had a glass of wine and a Sacherkaffe instead (has some chocolate liqueur in it).

Afterwards, I got a street beer and rode out a bit of rain at a wurstel stand. As the rain abetted, I was off I wander the downtown area, eventually finding A) a very famous and awesomely-roofed cathedral and B) a square where we met Garrett’s friends 3 years ago for New Years’ Eve drinks. With a slight buzz I was crushing hard on Vienna and taking in the quiet neighborhoods. Could I possibly buy a small place here?

As the rain picked up again, I decided it was time to head to the Belvedere Palace, one of the many museums that advertises Klimt’s art (they have The Kiss). Boy do they love some Klimt here in Vienna.

The palace and palace grounds were impressive, but it didn’t take long to go through what they had (perhaps I was experiencing a wee bit of museum fatigue). A pleasant, if not riveting, experience.

Back to the hostel I went to do some work and ride out the now driving rain. Around 8:30 I decided I didn’t want to wait indoors anymore, so headed to a dark bar to grab a drink.

Side note: smoking in bars is the worst. It’s so all-encompassing, sticks to your clothes, etc. I’m so happy America is very anti-smoking. I would enjoy the bar scene way less if spots were always this damn smokey (autocorrected to Smokey 3 times, but I got it on the 4th thank you very much).

The rain had largely stopped, so I decided to head off to one of my top to-do’s in Vienna, visit the Prater amusement park. It’s a free place to visit where you can pay per ride. You can also walk around with beer/wine! How delightful!

First I did the Giant Ferris Wheel, from 1897. There’s a lot of history with it, as it’s one of the oldest and largest, and was an engineering feat. You get in large olde timey carts and get 15 minutes to see Vienna from on high (probably more interesting in the day).

After that, I did an indoor roller coaster, which was like Space Mountain and The Mouser’s underachieving child. Fun though! I also do a VR evil clown thing, which was silly but kind of fun (and a wee bit scary)!

The scariest part, frankly, was walking around large parts of the park with the lights out and the rides closed, but you hear noises, laughter, screams and music far off (and sometimes, the music just blasts at random places). I think the earlier rain kept the crowds largely at bay, and meant that they didn’t keep most of the stands/rides open. It really felt like walking around a haunted, abandoned amusement park. My senses were tingling for sure.

Oddly, in the middle of the unsettling dark, there was a beer/wine stand open. Nothing else open for many minutes in any direction. Was this a ghost bar? Perhaps, but those ghosts pour a HEARTY cup of wine.

After truly enjoying that surreal experience, I went to a cocktail bar to meet up with Yvette. We had a few drinks, then at my behest, started to roam (I like multi-faceted nights, after all).

She took us to a tiny, smoky gay bar (how unlike me!) called Mangos. We met a very cool, kinda drunk Viennese 50 year old that we talked to for awhile (married to a guy, but just wanted to go out and meet people for the night - how cool and unAmerican). When this bar was closing around 4am, he led us to a super cool bar that was a converted brothel. It sill had that aesthetic, with red velvet on the walls, swanky seats, etc. Also, so much smoke. 😐 The three of us danced to kind of weird jazz/pop music. I handled it well enough, but not the best dancing music. Our friend, who just wanted to dance, danced his nips off. Yvette and I did too, to a less spastic/wacky degree.

At 5am/closing time (how dare they!), we parted ways with hugs and headed back to the hostel.

[dudejonathan]

A night in Vienna, featuring the Prater (amusement park) and a giant Ferris wheel from 1897.

And dancing at an old brothel.