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What? that’s so silly

✨Imagine that✨

Gotham cop: “Sorry Mr. Wayne, we have to put you under arrest for potentially being the Batman…such a silly accusation, right? Just cooperate and I’m sure they’ll clear up this whole misunderstanding down at the station.”

Gotham cop after grabbing Bruce Wayne’s wrists and realizing just how buff he is under all the suits and layers:

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based on this

Guess who binged all of the Apothecary Diaries :3

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Jinshi, flirting: You have the most beautiful eyes

Maomao, in the most monotonous voice possible: thanks, I use them to see

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You’re a regular office worker born with the ability to “see” how dangerous a person is with a number scale of 1-10 above their heads. A toddler would be a 1, while a skilled soldier with a firearm may score a 7. Today, you notice the reserved new guy at the office measures a 10.

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never beating the gremlin allegations

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maomao’s dedication to ignoring jinshi’s real identity is truly inspiring. the woman who has solved multiple murders based on minor clues in the environment keeps looking at every sign pointing to jinshi being royalty and going “damn, this could add up to something. good thing I can’t do math!”

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“apothecary diaries is a romance” “apothecary diaries is a court drama” wrong. jinshi’s apothecary diaries is a first love romance and maomao’s is a workplace drama. her biggest problem is being fired via execution and his is falling behind on work worrying she’s taking the wrong man home

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They are like father and daughter

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It was ONE. TIME. Jason

oh my GOD, Jason. You DIED. We GET IT

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I think Bruce should have a garrote wire scar around his neck he needs to hide from his training days. You know, as a treat.

I also think Alfred, years later, should have to be the one to explain to the batkids 1) what that is and 2) how close it meant Bruce came to dying before he ever became Batman.

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Effervescent

Adorned (2025)

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Not exactly relevant but I feel it’s necessary to inform you that my snake is named Perimedes and we call him Perry the Platypus Python

Mammu! Finius and Ferbingetorix built Rome in a day!

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Hey how’s it going? I like your tower, it’s very damp. The locusts are coming. It’s not my fault. Cool hat btw.

hey thanks, i really apprecia—wait what

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"Think better of me" (traditional pen and ink)

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Somebody make a fic please please please

Brucie Wayne accidentally killing the joker

This happens before Red Hood is revealed as Jason, but after he shows up. Bruce is at a gala and has been very stressed lately, which is why he was so caught off guard with the Joker arriving. A big thing about today? It’s Jason’s adoption day anniversary. Bruce is barely clinging to being good.

However, Joker has a new laughing gas that he thought would make everyone fall into a catatonic state of laughter, striking a blow against all of Gotham’s elite.

That’s what he thought it would do.

Instead, it lowered inhibitions and increased their emotions. It also reduced their ability to think things through. Doing this to Bruce, who is stressed with Red Hood making moves and Justice League stuff getting more stressful and it being the anniversary of the day he could finally welcome his beautiful boy into the family, only to be face to face with the reason he lost his kid?

It only takes one comment about the old Robin for Bruce to go feral.

He isn’t thinking things through, isn’t focused on how hard he is hitting things, or where they are moving until he’s on a balcony with the Joker, and he’s distantly aware he’s been screaming about the clown having done enough-

Everyone watches, spellbound, as Brucie Wayne, under the influence of this new gas, pitches both the Joker and himself off the balcony, twenty stories above the ground.

Red Hood catches Brucie Wayne.

No one catches the Joker.

The morning papers scream about how the Joker died from Gotham’s prince being drugged, and how the city’s new crime lord kidnapped Brucie before he could die.

Everyone in Gotham is in disarray.

Dick is panicking after seeing the headline. (He was in Bludhaven.)

Tim is cursing himself. (He was home sick with the flu.)

Jason is struggling with his emotions.

Alfred is loading his shot gun.

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The mischaracterisation of Batman that I hate the most is that he’s a bad dad because he “makes” his children become vigilantes with him. That’s just (mostly) not true. The kids have pent-up rage and anger from all their traumas but he doesn’t tell them to aim it at anyone but they do it themselves. He often tries to redirect it but it doesn’t help. That’s when he gives in and is like “Fine. If you need this outlet, join me to do it in the most moral way, where I can watch over you.” He doesn’t want to put his kids in danger but can’t stop them from doing it themselves. So he does it in this particular way.

So don’t come at me with “None of this would’ve happened if Bruce wasn’t such a neglectful father.”

Long story short, ✨the children long for being beaten to death with a crowbar in a dark ally.✨ Regardless of what Batman does.