duskwillow

[duskwillow]

OMGGG is your pfp that one guy from twisted wonderland :3333

hi ❀

yes it's vil schoenheit ♕

i wrote it in my bio ✩

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[duskwillow]

Ur name is so cool🩷🩷

It sounds like saltine crackers tho

Did u get it from an anime🩷🩷🩷

hi ❀

thank you ♡

no salix is the scientific name for willow trees

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[duskwillow]

Lingering Questions

{a short tlos fic about alex returning to the fairy palace after the events of book six}

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The sight was devastating.

Her heart slowed in time with her gentle steps. Alex had to mindfully place one foot in front of the other as she navigated through the rubble and remains of the Fairy Palace. What was once a gleaming, proud, and bright structure was now gray, crumbled, and desolate. Despite recently coming back to her senses, Alex managed to put on a brave face as she led the members of the Fairy Council back into what was left of their home.

No words were said. The only sounds were the crunching of pebbles underfoot, the gentle buzzing of bees, a soft flow of water, and the crackling of low flames. All they did was walk for now. The planning would soon follow, and then the salvaging. Memories, items...

Lives.

They didn't know how much they could save from the remnants of this destruction.

The first thing Alex thought of once she returned to the Land of Stories was the destroyed Fairy Palace. It was a brief flicker in her mind before she focused on bigger matters. Alex was a leader. Their leader. Even after all that happened, she knew they expected her to get to work immediately.

Just like her grandmother would.

Alex wasn't surprised when she followed a set path through the palace. Once upon a time, she had taken this exact route multiple times daily. She climbed the stairs, adjusting her steps to avoid the chunks and boulders that had fallen and peppered them with dangerous holes. The fairies knew better than to stop her due to the clear hazards presented. They were nothing compared to what Alex had faced in the past. She climbed those steps with aching legs and an aching heart as the parade behind her slowed their procession. Unspoken acknowledgment of her task led them to leave her be. She deserved to be the first to witness what remained of her grandmother.

The double doors that led to her grandmother's office used to feel so imposingly professional. Alex remembered feeling a warmth within her chest whenever she was allowed to enter through them. However, only one door remained standing, and Alex greeted the bottom half of the reared unicorn with a stare. Anyone looking at her face would have said she looked empty, that there was no emotion in her eyes, but that couldn't have been further from the case. She was feeling so many things at once that her face couldn't accurately express it. All she could do was stare.

Pushing herself to move beyond the first hurdle, Alex finally focused on the state of her grandmother's old office. Shattered glass covered the floor and made for dangerous terrain, but Alex took care of that with a wave of her hand. Her powers were still heightened and magic came far too easily. She pushed down that disdain for herself as quickly as possible before it overtook her analytical senses. Alex was there to assess the damage, make plans on how to fix it, and eventually get to work. But as she looked around the single half of her grandmother's office that remained, Alex could feel the heat and tension of tears threatening to spill from her eyes and stain her face.

There was a breeze from the nearby cliffside, as her grandmother's office overlooked the sea, and it plastered Alex's hair to her now wet face. She had to push it back and trap it under her headband just so she could focus. The wind rustled rogue papers and flipped through the wrinkled pages of open books. Smashed potion bottles were left with very little liquid in them, most of their substances having washed away with the rain or elements over time while exposed. From her small glimpse of things, she determined that nothing had been left untouched or intact. Almost as if her office had been one of the primary targets, it was completely and utterly unsalvageable.

Alex had to steady herself, her hands wrapping around her arms in some gesture that should have given her comfort but only made her more ill at ease. If only Conner wasn't off helping the others with his own section of the Land of Stories World Repair tasklist. She could have used her brother there beside her. While he didn't have half the memories she did regarding that office, Alex knew he'd share in her pain. It was more than paper and glass. More than bubbles and breathtaking views. The memories that used to be embedded within the now cracked and crumbled walls would need to be replaced alongside the golden foundations.

Physical devastation was such a small part of it to Alex. What mattered to her were the times when she had smiled and learned within those walls. Where she had felt like she finally belonged. How could they take this from her? Why did her pain have to continue even after these terrible events? It felt like a scar she had to look at in the mirror. It felt like a wound she would always be reminded of no matter how much time passed or how lovely the new Fairy Palace looked.

Would it ever go away? Would that feeling ever truly leave her be?

As she stepped further inside, Alex could feel her conscience answer her questions for her.

No.

Answers came so easily to Alex when she stood before the remnants of the fireplace. Bubbles attempted to manifest as she stood by, their comforting visage struggling to help bring her peace. How many times had her grandmother stared into that fireplace feeling the exact same way she did? Alex had no reason to feel hopeless. They were repairing the Land of Stories at that very moment, and yet her sadness would not leave her be. Had her grandmother ever felt this way? How had she overcome it?

As if the room held the answers to her plight, Alex continued to look around. While only half of it still stood, she searched it desperately for traces of her grandmother. She always had the answers. She always provided support when Alex needed it most. Even if she returned to magic, her grandmother had continued to be there for her.

So where was she now? Was this not prominent enough of a situation to warrant her guidance? What were the qualifications she needed to meet to receive assistance?

Alex would never get over the dissatisfaction of being left without an answer. Even if she could speak with her grandmother once more, Alex would have far too much to say and far too little time to say it. 'Goodbye's and 'I love you's would have to suffice, but she still regretted so many things. She regretted not asking to speak with her grandmother more. She regretted not sending her letter after letter every single chance she got. She regretted all of those times when they were apart. While, logically, Alex couldn't blame herself, she still did. She hated that she had never grasped the possibility of someone leaving her so suddenly. Her father had left her feeling so many regrets simply because his passing was so sudden, but her grandmother had taken more time with it. There was something Alex could have done to make their time together count more.

A scoff left her mouth, the first sound she had made verbally since arriving, at the thought of that. Her grandmother wasn't the type to really reprimand her for things, but something told her that she would have been severely disappointed to hear her granddaughter's thoughts. She would tell her that the memories they had made together counted. She would tell her that she enjoyed every single moment with her, her brother, and her family. Each second had been precious, and Alex knew that.

She would tell Alex that even though the palace was destroyed, and even though the physical remnants of their memories were gone, they would never leave her. Alex would never truly forget about them, even if she continued living without expressing her grief over it. Her grandmother would tell her how proud she was of Alex no matter what she chose to do. She would have faith in her granddaughter. Always and forever.

Even if it was difficult for her to admit it to herself, Alex knew her grandmother was there watching over her. She didn't need her hand to guide her at every hard turn, because she had enough confidence in Alex to know she would do it herself. She was the Fairy Godmother. She had all the tools she needed:

Courage.

Grace.

Kindness.

Heart.

She could do this.

Giving herself one more squeeze, Alex imagined her grandmother embracing her in one of her trademark tight hugs. Alex took a deep breath, wiped away her tears, and lifted her head. She could feel her grandmother's pride in her through those memories. She could remember her love, lessons, and everything she had done to prepare Alex to keep going. Even through the pain and the sadness. The young Fairy Godmother knew those things would be part of her life until she inevitably returned to magic as well. But she could find happiness. Her grandmother had taught her how to find it.

And with that, Alex turned to the doorway. She left the office behind with its shattered bottles, crumbled gold, and broken walls. However, she had salvaged so much from that room of rubble. She had found the glue to repair her resolve. She had gathered the spackle to patch up her confidence. Alex left with her grandmother's answers to her lingering questions, finding herself much more comforted by what remained of her grandmother's office than she had expected. She felt no more worry about the state of the Fairy Palace. Even if the walls were cracked, the floor was fissured, and the pillars had fallen, Alex made her way back to the council with the determination she had lacked upon her arrival. She now knew they had not lost anything truly valuable.

After all...

Memories could never be physically destroyed.

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