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It feels impossible to move on from you

Not because i loved you or you loved me

But because of the way that when i was with you

I was nothing but what you wanted me be

When i was with you i wasn't a person

I was just the thing you molded

I wonder how much of me is real

And how much of me was what you trained me to be

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Sometimes I would rather have someone claw their eyes out than look up to me

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The memory of your body haunts me. That mole, jewel on your collarbone, that jagged scar, down the small of your back, the one that felt so soft under my hand, so tender, they are burned behind my eyelids and taunt me whenever my eyes close.

You say this like it’s a horrible thing.

Was I really that distasteful to you?

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You have hurt me so many times, and I’ll forgive you every single time.

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I just can't stop adoring your eyes.

A pair that never fails to absorb my soul and trap it in its emotions.

I feel connected to your soul everytime our eyes meet and decide to talk in silence.

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“Honestly I don’t even play an active role in my life. Shit just happens and I’m like oh is this what we’re doing now? Ok.”

— sushie

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Who am I to judge you? We all sin, differently.

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“Trust yourself. You’ve survived a lot. And you’ll survive whatever is coming.”

— Unknown

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“None but ourselves can free our minds.”

— Bob Marley

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On wanting/On being wanted (the way a predator wants its prey)/On lacking it/On having to

 Marina Tsvetaeva // Sylvia Plath // Yves Olade // Louise Glück // Ari Banias // Ariana Reines

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May Sarton, from Recovering: A Journal [ID in alt text]

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Savannah Brown, from Closer Baby Closer; “Retroactive jealousy”

[Text ID: “Someday I’ll care for something / without wanting to close a door behind it.”]

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Gavin Yuan Gao, from "Lullaby"

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- j (x)

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- j (x)