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I love it when a PDF I get off the internet has the library card in the back
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Hannah Flower's "Visceral Victuals."
Currently on view at Roq La Rue Gallery in Seattle, Washington is artist Hannah Flower's solo exhibition, "Visceral Victuals."
Born in Tasmania but currently based in Scotland, Flowers paintings depict a dark wonderland of mythic symbolism and allegorical grotesques. These often harken back to original European fairytales that were much grimmer and dark than the sanitized versions we have today. Flowers work also references the 19th century Demi-Monde's appreciation of nighttime opulences, carnal infatuations, and dalliances with La Fee Verte. This combined with her lush florals and maiden images create a sort of Macabre Nouveau aesthetic. Beautifully rendered and lavishly painted, these paintings are definitely for more adventurous art aficionados, but those who do delve into the artists world will be richly rewarded.
THE SUPERSONIC ART SHOP | FOLLOW ON INSTAGRAM
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bogged down
I'm scared. That's the one thing I know for certain. I guess I just don't know if I'm scared of trying and failing or if I'm scared of never getting the opportunity to change. They feel the same because they both feel like I'm stuck. When I think about all my options, I shut down. I think it's because they're not really my options, in some capacity. But here's what is or could be in the works:
Husband job
House/place to stay
Going back to school
Husband Job
His idea, and I agreed, was that he'd keep looking for jobs in his field of choice -- and relevant Masters -- until the end of October. That's, you know, about 2 months away. But the rejections keep coming and it's painful every time. It feels like dreamsquash after dreamsquash. So, it's hard for me to sit in this rejection with him and not encourage him to pivot. Because he's got backup plans aplenty but he's not pursuing them yet. It sucks. It feels like no steps forward, one to two steps back every time he applies, gets a little bit of hope via a screening or interview, and gets rejected. I know it's the job market and I know it's because he's trying to break into the field but it sucks, it sucks, it sucks.
House/place to stay
God, this one is the one that's stressing me out. I never should have gotten my mom involved. The market is crazy, I don't know what I'm doing, and my mom's advice is super unhelpful like, "How much are you putting down? Oh, well, we think you need to put down $10K more than that." So, it's been a real ride. Today I reached out to a lender online to see what kind of loan we can get with just my income since it's the only one that's guaranteed, but my god, it's just so overwhelming to think that if the perfect house comes along, we still have to fight tooth and nail for it and we won't have the security of husband's job figured out.
Going back to school
This is kind of the easiest one. I could do this right away. But now I'm worried about money! I think I just kinda have to do this and see what happens. Maybe it'll be the forward momentum I need to feel a little bit better. The biggest downside is I may have to retake some classes for the second or third time... Yuck.
Christ almighty, why does it have to feel like this?
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In Brian Eno's #obliquestrategies, one of the cards asks: What to increase? What to reduce? What to maintain? These are my answers for 2022: INCREASE: Presence in daily life REDUCE: Survival behaviors MAINTAIN: Compassion
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Happy Near Yew
Whenever I need something to remind me of my own curiosity, I go to Austin Kleon, human art aggregator. This week I sought advice, clarity, or something about the impending New Year. (I initially typed Near Yew which is... actually better?)
Austin -- I think he'd be okay with me calling him by his first name -- never fails to deliver and this Tuesday when I was feeling particularly bedraggled by my own stuckness was no exception. If you're anything like me and you love a lot of structure with your meaninglessness and/or vice versa, I recommend highly the 'rules' tag on his blog.
Anyway, let me go back... An old friend of mine I never talk to anymore, for whatever reason friends stop talking, has "The Moscow Rules" in her Facebook bio. I was like, "Huh, I like rules but I can't seem to remember what these are, let me look at them again." I don't know why I thought they would resonate with me. Like I said, we don't talk anymore.
They seemed, like, particularly aggressive for no reason and this year has already had plenty of that, thankyou. I mean, okay, they're rules for spies or whatever, but I'd be a horrible spy.
"Everyone is potentially under opposition control."
Yeah, we get it, The Moscow Rules. I've had enough potential threats in the past two years as I ever really needed and I'm ready to decrease my vigilance.
Anyway, I saw these and thought, "I can find better for me." And something pinged in my brain -- didn't Austin Kleon have a whole collection of rules I could pull from? Maybe a new set of rules is exactly what I need for the new year (and for the near yew, for that matter.)
To my great delight, I was correct and Austin had provided a ton of source material to pilfer, as is his particular art. His Rules of the studio post links a whole handful of rules right after his own rules!
Flash forward about two hours and I was swept away into the world of Tom Sachs and his Ten Bullets.
vimeo
I mean, wow, right?! My key takeaways:
I could never work in Tom Sachs's studio; he'd hate me.
I want to be worthy of rules like these. Rules that take themselves seriously because they are Good for Something.
I Got it. Like, really Got it. Long story short, I've really been struggling with... I dunno, life, I guess, over the past couple of months. I mean, every day feels like an absolute battle with myself and those around me. And I definitely have seen some areas for improvement but the predominant area for improvement is that I'm letting it happen! So! I felt really bolstered by the feeling Tom Sachs gave me with his Ten Bullets: you create and control your own environment simply by making it matter to you (and those who you let into it.) See bullets I/II (depending on the version) - Sacred Space.
But being in it with Austin Kleon and Tom Sachs also brought me back to another set of "rules" I love: Brian Eno's Oblique Strategies. It's a set of 117 cards that tell you, "You are an engineer" (this is what my computer just told me) or "What would your closest friend do?" or "Voice your suspicions." I've linked to a randomizer below and I suggest you try it. I've also had desktop backgrounds and I'm using this Chrome extension at the moment.
The reason I love Oblique Strategies and Ten Bullets and any other rules is they remind the observer to revisit their own mind and body, reframe the spiral they might be in, respect their existence and their surroundings. This is something I need more of. I've often toyed with getting a smattering of Oblique Strategies tattooed on various parts of my body to help me re-center but there's something magical about the randomness of the 117 choices. Maybe the tattoo should say "Strategize" to remind me to pull a card/randomize a concept and pull me back into reality.
But also the magic of rules, strategies, bullets, commandments, rights, or any pithy little list is that it only matters because you make it matter.
All of this is to say, I'm working on my own Rules for 2022. And maybe one of them will be "Make it matter."
#rules#austin kleon#oblique strategies#tom sachs#2022#new years resolution#what do you make it mean?#sacred space#ten bullets#steal like an artist#moscow rules
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