dyns33

[dyns33]

Family's Faith

I wrote this Alfie x Wife almost a year ago, and I know the subject matter can be sensitive. But I thought it was important. If you don't like it, I understand.

There were very few topics they avoided in their relationship.

In truth, none were truly taboo for Alfie, who was willing to share everything with his wife, the good and the bad, even if he preferred to protect her from his dark sides and complicated past. He also respected that she didn't want to tell him everything, that she had secrets or fears she preferred to keep to herself.

It wasn't her fault, she was a Shelby after all, she'd been raised that way. Y/N was still less wild and crazy than the others.

It might have seemed cruel of him to think that about his in-laws, but even after several years of marriage, they hadn't really proven him wrong.

Alfie saw further proof of this when they invited their sister and her husband to a family party.

"Do you still go to church ?" Polly asked Y/N out of nowhere as they were halfway through the main course.

This caused some confusion among the gathering, which wasn't entirely surprising. Each member of the Shelby family had a different relationship with faith.

Recently, Arthur had become terribly religious, perhaps a little too religious, even worse than his aunt, and in complete contradiction with his profession.

Finn and John believed in God, more out of habit than anything else, without really thinking about it most of the time.

With her political beliefs, Ada was rather ambivalent on the matter.

Thomas couldn't care less.

As for Y/N, it wasn't something she talked about. Of course, the subject had been broached before their wedding, for obvious reasons.

As a good husband, Alfie had assured her that she wouldn't be pressured by him, and that any member of his community who dared to make a comment if she decided not to convert would bitterly regret it.

For him, religion was personal, private. It had no value if it was imposed. He had inherited his from his mother, and he understood perfectly that Y/N wanted to keep her family's.

With a shy smile, his dear wife had thanked him, saying she would think about it, but that for their wedding, the location didn't matter, as long as he became her husband. It had melted the heart he thought he didn't have before they met.

"You don't go to church anymore ?" Polly insisted, fixing her niece with her inquisitive gaze. "We used to go together a lot when you were younger. I don't know if you remember."

"I remember."

"It's important to go from time to time, even if we're not the most regular of penitents. If anyone stopped you from…"

"No one stops me from anything. I…" Y/N said before biting her lip, her hand finding Alfie's under the table, like a cry for help.

"God, yours and mine, knows very well that my little treacle deserves his forgiveness. She married me after all, it's as if she sacrificed herself to atone for the sins of humanity, if not more."

"Hmm. Amusing blasphemy. Mass is still something important."

In an attempt to protect their sister, Tommy waved his hand for their aunt to stop the conversation, while Arthur proposed a new, less heated topic of debate by bringing up his upcoming boxing match.

Unfortunately, Polly Gray could be very stubborn. It was in her blood. If she didn't agree with something, if she thought she was right, then the other Shelbys had to follow her without question.

"If you're putting up barriers thinking people wouldn't approve, remember that no one has the right to dictate our behavior."

"She gets it, Pol," Thomas sighed, his blue eyes on his sister in support. "She'll go if she wants to."

"So she will."

"Listen, woman…" Alfie growled dangerously, starting to stand up to make himself as threatening as possible, even though he knew it wouldn't have any effect on Miss Gray.

"I don't want to go. I don't believe in God."

It was rare for silence to reign in the middle of one of their family meeting. When there weren't arguments, there was laughter, singing, and great debates about what they were going to do to expand their empire. Never silence. Silence wasn't a good sign with the Shelbys, it was the harbinger of a storm.

Still holding her husband's hand, who had resumed his seat, staring at her like the others, Y/N refused to look up from her plate, afraid of reading the judgment on the faces of her brothers or her aunt.

"… You don't believe in God ?" Polly repeated in a whisper.

"No. Well, I don't know, I don't think so. I was very happy to accompany you when I was a child, it's true. But it was mostly to please you. And then… There was that war."

Along with religion, the war was something no one talked about in the Shelby household. A difficult, tragic episode, which had left far too many scars. The men present stopped breathing for a moment. Y/N knew it, but she continued.

"I saw you praying every day, like the other women on the street, and every day there were those letters announcing that another Birmingham boy had been a hero and that the country would be forever grateful. And of those who did come back, how many were shattered, inside and out ? Why would a God let all this happen ? The fear, the death, the wounded ? I lost faith waiting for Arthur, Thomas, and John to come home, and it never came back. It stayed there, in the trenches, with the deads. I'm sorry."

Even more than silence, displays of love were also a very rare thing for these proud and secretive beings. But when their sister had finished, Arthur was the first to stand up and go around the table to hug her, quickly followed by John, Finn, and Ada.

Perhaps because of his status as leader, Tommy remained in his place, but he smiled sadly as he continued to look at her, his eyes far too bright to pretend he wasn't moved.

Polly obviously accepted this answer, lighting a cigarette to bounce back from the stupid topic the elder had proposed, saying he had no chance of winning his next fight.

When the calm had finally disappeared, the Shelbys becoming animated about future bets and the need to rig them to ensure a good return, regardless of Arthur's honor, who continued to insist he was going to kill them all, Alfie stroked her hand.

"If you ever want to go, for whatever reason, I'll go with you."

"You ? To a church ?" Y/N snickered, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Hey, I know I might catch fire and some of the Candem elders might have heart attacks, all good news, but for you, I'm ready for anything. If you want to come to the synagogue. Or another temple, it doesn't matter. And if you never want to go to a religious place, just to the beach or the market, that's fine with me too. Anything goes as long as it makes you happy and we're together."

"You're ridiculously romantic."

"And you're adorably touching, Treacle. Don't apologize for what you believe or don't believe; many beliefs have stuck with yours. Like the lucky ones, it may come back home one day, but if not, there will be something else. I know what I'm talking about."

"You do ?" Y/N asked curiously.

"I continue to honor my mother, and because it's good for business. But if I had to choose one reason to believe in a God, it would be because I met you. A true blessing. Not sure I deserve it, but hey, I'm not saying no."

The next topic of discussion was Solomons' ban from sitting next to Y/N during family gatherings after she kissed him tenderly and told him he was stupid.

But since Arthur was the only one to vote that way, he sulked in his corner, holding back from insulting his brother-in-law because he had to save his strength for his fight, and he didn't want to upset his little sister.

Later, when they were alone, Alfie would talk about religion with his wife again, to find out what she really thought. If she accompanied her aunt, it didn't necessarily mean she felt Catholic. In fact, she could very well not believe, believe later, or feel close to any religion other than that of her aunt or her husband.

Y/N shrugged, saying she would think about it. As on their wedding day, Alfie understood, kissing her to put the matter to rest once and for all.

[dyns33]

Hello !! Thanks for the tag, I have a Youtube playlist that I'm listening all the times, I picked the top 10 songs I'm always picking from it lately :

Oh Marcello - Regina Spektor

Starbuster - Fontaines DC

Susumu Hirisawa - Parade (my fav. Everyday)

Basique - Orelsan

Pressure - Billy Joel

Dua Lupa - Training season

Madonna - Like a prayer

Lizzo - Boys

Wicked original broadway version - What is this feeling ?

Kris Kross - Jump

Tagging if they want to play : @chasingthepoguelife @fullmoonlovestuff @being-worthy @coulsons-fullmetal-cellist @absurdthirst @auteurdelabre @camilleflyingrotten @bellaxgiornata

@repurposedmeatlocker @x86 @eyelashwish (thank you so much to all of you) tagged me to share ten songs I’ve been listening to

Heartlands - Games

Agape-Agape - Popol Vuh

When Am I Going To Make A Living - Sade

Easy Lover - Philip Bailey & Phil Collins

Betrayed in the Octagon - Oneohtrix Point Never

IV Virtual Water - James Ferraro

Vanity - Luxury Elite

手放す - t e l e p a t h テレパシー能力者

Warm Windows - Casino Versus Japan

Fifty-fifty Clown - Cocteau Twins

I tag @bushoutforbela @0netruesolipsist @justwant2bsound @harmonystarfield @steelymaris @cloevr @balearicbitch @no0dlru @questdesign @zytes and anyone else who wants to do this. No pressure obviously.

[dyns33]

I've taken stock of my finished/to-be-posted writings and my writings to be done/in progress. So, 59 stories ready and 10 stories waiting (for now). If I continue to post only on Sundays, my blog will be active for over a year without any problems. Except for this one: I don't know what to post after a while. So I'll let others decide.

[dyns33]

This might be my last day off sick due to burnout. I'm going to see the doctor this afternoon; we'll figure it out together. I don't want to go back. Not because of the work; I like my job, I don't find it difficult, and I'm good at it. It's certain colleagues who are the problem. Management doesn't do anything to help. And on the other hand, I have a general feeling of fatigue. Everything bores me. I cling to movies, TV shows, books. The stories I write, or try to write. I've been taking refuge in these imaginary worlds for almost my whole life. I started in elementary school, when I was 7 or 8 years old. I've never completely stopped. I realize it's not "normal." Everyone dreams a little, but not as much. As soon as I try to confront it, to turn towards reality, I panic. I see nothing but horrors: wars, violence, insults, mockery, inequality, disease, global warming, the waste of resources. I'm afraid of the future, I'm afraid of people. I don't understand anything about people. So I hide in my own little world. Sometimes I see glimmers of hope. Like Pedro. I can't explain to my sister why I'm so attached to Pedro. Because I hope there are others like him, only that we don't see them, that I haven't met them. He's an example to follow. And if there aren't others, at least he's there. A beacon in the night, one I'll never meet, one who'll never know I exist, one who might break my heart if they discover he's not what he seems. But even that isn't enough anymore. I've been holding on for three years, but I feel like it's falling apart. I don't know what to do anymore. I sleep badly. I can't write. I go through my day mechanically, following a routine. I can see the end. I've seen it for a long time, since my first anxiety attack at 15, since my memento mori. I feel my heart pounding, I feel my blood rushing throughout my core and my brain boiling. I feel like I'm in a fragile, aging body that will eventually stop functioning without me being able to do anything about it, surrounded by people in the same situation, but who act as if they don't know it. Life is short. Life has an end. Most people go through it without doing anything with it, without taking care of it, without enjoying it, and wasting the lives of others. I feel like I'm wasting mine all alone, trying not to bother those around me. I'm not writing this to be comforted, worried, pitied, or anything else. I'm not writing it to be discussed. It's for me, to relieve myself of this burden. And for you, to think about it. Enjoy your life. Enjoy your loved ones. Fight against injustices and try not to create new ones. I'm not a believer, but I believe it's written everywhere that we're supposed to love each other, do good, and eventually be judged in the end. Not by your standards, nor mine. So sit down for a moment and think about it. All this is tiring me.

[dyns33]

When you have already a lot of trouble to focus on one PP character and you start watching MobLand with Tom Hardy.

[dyns33]

Brain: "Are you happy with yourself ?" Me: "Uh ?" Brain: "We're already having trouble writing. We have several ideas for Oberyn, for Renaldo, for Harry Castillo, especially since last week, and now Reed. You want to kill me." Me: "We're doing it like usual, one story at a time." Brain: "You're not listening to me. I… They're right. It's too much, he's everywhere. He's everywhere !" Me: "But we always think about him, he's everywhere all the time." Brain: "… I don't know what you're talking about. I can't focus !"

[dyns33]

I saw Fantastic Four First Step. No spoilers. A very good movie, and especially a very good Marvel movie. It's important to point out, because it's been a long time since there have been any really good Marvel movies, or very few. All the characters are endearing, even if I preferred Johnny. Reed and Sue are adorable together. I had a little more trouble with Ben, but that's because I compare him to the other versions and I find that we see less of him, that he has less character; he's just the stone man with a big heart. Successful special effects, successful villain too. Of course, I mainly went for Pedro, but I left the cinema happy and looking forward to seeing this family again. A message from my sister who was with me: "Stop saying this guy (Reed) is the smartest man in the world, I've never seen someone so stupid ! He's probably very good at math, but he's a disaster." (She's not wrong, and I love Reed for that too)

[dyns33]

Rafiq alruwh 2

Oh, I made a part 2 for Bane and his soulmate. I love this big guy.

Contrary to what she thought, neither Bane nor the rest of the Shadow League were annoyed by her repeated attempts to escape from the Temple.

On the contrary, they seemed quite proud of Y/N for each of her failed attempts, even taking the time to explain to her what she had done wrong.

"You seem upset, Habibi."

"I don't like it when you're making fun of me. Do you think I won't be able to leave ? Is that why you treat me like a stupid child ?"

"Would you rather I break your legs and tie you to the bed until your brain is so exhausted that I can control it as I please ?"

"… No."

"Your flame is strong and burning, Habibi. You didn't choose to be here. We understand your fears and we admire your determination to do what you deem necessary to survive. You still need to awaken."

Y/N could have told him she was fully awake, thank you, and that she would never join his terrorist cult, but she felt it would be pointless.

It was also pointless to pretend she accepted the situation. She had tried on her third escape attempt, and after pretending to be fooled, Bane had patted her on the shoulder and said that lies shouldn't be used between members of the same family.

But he forgave her, like everyone else, because she wasn't ready yet. Luckily, Y/N was a cop. Intelligent and having studied the methods of this type of cultist. They could try to coax her into succumbing to Stockholm syndrome, but it wouldn't work.

There was no denying that Bane and his followers were talented. Polite, helpful, making sure she lacked nothing and didn't feel threatened, despite being surrounded by ninja assassins capable of killing her with their thumbs.

Surprisingly, Bane wasn't around much. He may have been the leader, but Y/N would have thought he'd do anything to make her accept their bond, in addition to his criminal activities.

Since their meeting in the sewers and her kidnapping, he hadn't touched her directly once. His hand rested on her sleeve, the few times he dared to do so, otherwise he kept a respectable distance.

It was pure torture, even if she refused to show it. The stories about Rafiq alruwh they said with respect, didn't mention how hard it was to resist the urge to press against her soulmate, skin to skin. But surely one of them wasn't a giant terrorist and the other a police officer trying to stop him.

Hollywood would find a way to make a beautiful movie out of it, with a happy ending. Y/N couldn't see how things could end well for them. There was no way she was giving in, and Bane was clearly too indoctrinated to change his mind. That would eventually become a problem.

But he was patient. Calm, collected, showing no emotion as he sat across from her, watching her eat or asking how her week had gone. It was obvious that Barsad, his second in command, was reporting her every move, but he insisted on these exchanges.

"And if I ask what you've been up to this week, what will it be ? Murder and torture, or a secret only the initiated can hear ?"

"Neither, Habibi. I've been training the new recruits, verifying intel, planning our next missions, nothing more."

"I guess I can't come."

"An escape attempt would be more likely to succeed if I'm not here. My eyes wouldn't leave you for a single second."

"I know…" Y/N sighed, pouting. "It's just to have something to do other than wandering around the Temple."

"I can ask Barsad to find you activities."

"Could I kick his ass ?"

"Ah." Bane sneered. "Only if I order him to stay put. But he doesn't deserve such hatred, Habibi. He's a good soldier."

It wasn't hard to disagree with their ideals and their ways of "purifying" the world. On the other hand, Y/N found it hard to hate their leader. In addition to this almost vital need to be close to him, she had to admit that he wasn't the monster she had wanted him to be.

Holding nothing back from her, he had told her about the Pit. About Talia, about the League, about everything. Without going so far as to feel sorry for him. Bane didn't want such a thing.

She understood why he had become this way, and she couldn't help but think that if they had been lucky, they could have been happy, with a simpler life.

It wasn't his fault he'd been born in a prison worse than hell. It wasn't shameful that he'd decided to protect a child, even to the point of being disfigured for her sake. It wasn't unbelievable that he'd been indoctrinated by the League, which had taken him out of the Pit, which was run by his protegée's father, who was the only thing he knew after all that.

Except, there were the soulmates.

In the prison, people always hoped to escape, and among their wild dreams, some prayed to meet their Rafiq Alruwh. The sign of possible redemption, of certain happiness.

For Bane, his soulmate was like a sacred being. As with Talia, he would be completely at the service of his other half, ready to do anything for her. Or almost.

"I don't understand how you can't see that you're the bad guys in this story. You do the evil."

"We save. We rid the world of bad seeds, so that better days can bloom."

"So Gotham had to be destroyed along with all its inhabitants, even if they were innocent ?"

"No one is innocent."

"And the children ? The pregnant women, the believers, the doctors ? Me ?! I deserved to die ? Is that fair ? Is that right ?"

He didn't answer, staring at her for a long time before leaving his room, not to return for several weeks.

While he sulked in his corner, Y/N tried to escape again. Climbing through a window, clinging to the edge and avoiding looking at the void beneath her, she managed to reach the mountain, which she ran down, despite the crevasses and the snow.

Cautiously, she didn't ask for help from the small village she reached, instead slipping in as quietly as possible.

For all this, Barsad congratulated her when she reached the other side, where he was waiting for her near a jet ski.

This time, he had almost no complaints, everything was perfect. Unfortunately for her, Bane had no intention of letting her go, so she could try anything, there would always be someone behind her.

"I should have asked him for the right to kick your ass," she growled as he led her back to the Temple.

"Glad you didn't. He wouldn't have refused. He won't refuse you anything."

"Let agree to disagree on this."

"You don't know anything. Stop torturing him. Some of the men think he's become weak since you met. He has a lot of stress to deal with on top of your whims."

"Oh, sorry, I'm going to forget morality, betray myself, no longer care about others, and blindly follow the delusions of fanatics just so as not to hurt Bane."

"You're asking him to change for you."

"I'm asking him not to kill people, the compromise seems simple enough to me."

Even though she didn't see how it was funny, it made Barsad laugh, even though he didn't smile often.

They were greeted by Bane, who was patiently waiting for them in the hall, not at all surprised to see his right-hand man return with Y/N, inviting her with a wave of his hand to go ahead of him and return to her room.

Unlike other times, there were many ninjas present to observe them. She ignored them, thinking about what Barsad had said. If they were too closed-minded to understand her desire for freedom and too stupid to forgive Bane because he didn't know what to do with her, then they didn't deserve her attention.

Silence remained as she sat down on her bed, while he took the seat opposite her.

He looked sad. It made her uncomfortable.

"I've thought a lot about what you said. No, it's not right, and some people don't deserve to die. But evil is sometimes necessary."

"I disagree. There's always another way."

"I admire your optimism, Habibi. Your honesty. Someone before you spoke like that, even dying to prove he was right."

Y/N knew he was talking about Batman. Among the revelations she'd been given, the Dark Knight's identity had been a shock, what with his League training.

As a cop, she'd never been able to accept his vigilante methods, but she also couldn't say he hadn't helped Gotham. His actions were still a crime, his costume was ridiculous, but he meant well. He didn't kill.

"Ras Al Gul thought I was too extreme, following centuries of rules," Bane said, his voice deep. "Talia thought I was too kind, blinded by revenge. Maybe… Maybe we can find a balance. If you're willing to admit that some people can't stay alive, then we can see that destroying a city isn't necessary. By following you, we…"

"Follow me ?"

"Yes, Habibi. I'm not meant to rule. I'm a protector. Give orders, and we'll all follow you."

"Barsad told me that this kind of thing wouldn't please some."

"It didn't please, and the reluctant ones have been quelled. Everyone else is behind you, waiting for you."

For months, Bane had been preparing for this moment, this pivotal moment. He knew he couldn't resist his Rafiq Alruwh, everyone knew that, and respected it. He also knew that she would never share his vision.

So if he wanted to put her on the throne after Talia, the League had to make an effort to reach out to her. They couldn't not kill, that was unthinkable if they were to achieve results. But they could choose their targets more precisely, without harming those they were meant to defend against chaos.

Motionless, he now waited for her answer, with the same hope as when he looked up at the sun when he was in the Pit, ready to climb. He could fall, he knew it. It was possible she'd refuse, ask for more.

Worse, at that moment, in a position of absolute power, Y/N could have ordered him to let her go, or to surrender himself to the police, to massacre the League before throwing himself off the mountain, and Bane would have obeyed, without the slightest hesitation.

But the deceiver had been clever. Syndrome aside, she knew she cared too much for him now to do such a thing.

"… Will no one dispute what I say ? Isn't this a way to make me believe I can choose, only to then tell me my choices are bad and not follow through ?"

"So much distrust, Habibi. I'd be proud if it didn't hurt me. Haven't I shown you that I'll never lie to you ?"

"At the GCPD, we weren't allowed to associate with our superiors. It was a matter of power and neutrality. If I became leader… You and me… It would be frowned upon, wouldn't it ?"

The question seemed to surprise him.

Not because the members of the league would be against them being together. For them, it was even normal that they were, two Rafiq Alruwh united, forming one.

What Bane hadn't anticipated was that she would want him this way. Aside from respect, he didn't touch her because he thought she didn't want him.

He had felt her more relaxed in his presence, which filled him with happiness, but he didn't dare to hope.

He didn't think he deserved more from her.

His position didn't change as she came to rest on his lap, touching his hand. Y/N felt him trembling slightly, even though his face remained impassive.

Slowly, she pressed her forehead against his. A groan escaped him.

"Habibi… Don't torture me…"

Y/N said nothing, staying that way, then resting her head on his shoulder, remaining in his arms until Barsad came to interrupt them, sighing at this tenderly repulsive sight.

As long as she led them better than she drove Bane crazy, and the giant's mood wasn't too affected, it wasn't his problem.

In the end, since he was more often cheerful than grumpy, even if it was hard to tell the difference when you didn't know him well, and their new leader was really trying to adapt to their methods, the league was quite satisfied.

[dyns33]

One of my friends lil cat just died. He was 2, he was a sweetheart, he was always sick. I cant stop crying

[dyns33]

I went out. To buy the July-August Vanity Fair, to get some fresh air, drink a coffee, eat a cake, alone with people around, even though I hate it. Vanity Fair France isn't Vanity Fair US. Not the same cover, not the same articles. The cake and the coffee weren't very good. There were a lot of people, I hated it. I don't even know why I keep trying this kind of thing.

[dyns33]

Mint Julep

I'm not done with Tom Ryder. Not yet.

To live happily, let's live hidden.

Someone had said that. At least Tom Ryder was certain someone had, even if he couldn't remember who, when, or where.

He certainly wasn't the one who came up with that sentence anyway, because he didn't entirely agree.

To be happy in many areas, one shouldn't stay hidden at all. How would he have become the best actor in the world, adored by all, with tons of awards, fans, and money, if he had stayed in his corner ? Ridiculous.

On the other hand, after talking about Y/N with Gail, his agent, they decided it would probably be better not to reveal their relationship to the public for the time being.

Well, maybe Tom had asked Gail the question after he and Y/N had already been seeing each other in secret for two months. And honestly, it was great.

Without going so far as to compare what he was experiencing with Colt and Jody, he recognized that there was a fun and exciting side to acting like a ninja to find his beloved without anyone knowing. A romantic action movie, where they weren't allowed to be together.

Except that after having the idea of comparing himself to Colt, Tom had told himself it wasn't right that he had to act like Colt. Colt was the stunt double, he was the actor. He had to shine. He had no reason to hide.

"I wouldn't say 'no reason'," Gail had replied with her eternal fake smile.

"I know, Y/N isn't an actress, or a singer, or a model, but people love it ! The unusual couple, the great Tom Ryder who meets his soulmate who works behind the scenes in the dream industry, allowing his talent to be showcased."

"Oh, right, "soulmate," just that."

"Call it what you want : love at first sight, a no-brainer, destiny. The journalists will go crazy either way. My fans will share my happiness. I could take her with me to premieres and galas."

"It's already kind of the case, she's part of the production team."

"Yeah, but we can't be near each others. I want to hold her hand. I want to share this with her."

"That's sweet, honey. I'll think about it, okay ? And you, talk it over with your sweetheart, see what she thinks. We'll take stock at the end of the month."

Like he said, Y/N wasn't an actress. She wasn't a star, she preferred to work in the shadows, then return to a quiet life when it was all over. So she pouted a little when he mentioned going public.

It wasn't that she was totally against the idea. She was part of the business after all, so she knew how it worked, and at the same time, because she knew how it worked, she would have wanted as much time as possible away from the paparazzi, the criticism, the remarks, the mockery, the rumors.

For a moment, Tom Ryder wondered if she was ashamed. Then he remembered who he was, brushing aside the stupid idea, accepting that Y/N was just shyer than he was. It was okay if they continued to see each other discreetly for a few more months.

So it was a shock when the tabloids announced their relationship the following week, with loads of details no one knew. No one, not even Gail, even though he was telling his agent almost everything.

'Ryder's true love,' 'Loveride for Ryder,' 'The One,' every newspaper and blog was reporting on their meeting, Tom's feelings, their secret dates, absolutely everything.

The only explanation was that Y/N had spoken to the reporters. But that made no sense. Unless she'd been making fun of him.

It wouldn't have been the first time someone did that to him. He suddenly felt very stupid. For having thought he'd found love. Someone special, someone different. All because of a coffee.

No, it was his therapist's fault, he really needed to get a new one. Without pausing to think, trying to hold back the tears, he sent a long message to Y/N, congratulating her on her devilish genius, before posting on Instagram to deny absolutely everything that had been said about him.

He and this girl worked together, nothing more. They had coffee, and someone had misinterpreted the situation. Please move on, nothing to see here.

"You need to delete this, now," was the first thing Gail said when he called her.

"Why ? I'm not saying it was Y/N who leaked the information, I was a gentleman. I checked our texts, I never say anything compromising. Or not too compromising. We could say they're fake."

"Tom, darling. I know who gave up all this information."

"Who's the asshole who threw me in the fire ?!" he demanded to know, ready to go beat him up.

"You're the asshole, honey."

Even though they were together and therefore Tom had discovered the concept of fidelity, which he respected without too much trouble, that didn't mean he'd given up drinking, drugs, and partying. He really loved parties.

The night before, he'd attended a small party at a private bar, where he'd discovered Mint Julep. Maybe he had a problem with Mint. He should talk to his therapist about it. After drinking more than ten of them, he'd apparently climbed onto a table, filmed by most of the people present, to scream his love.

"Her name is Y/N ! We work together ! She's amazing ! I've never been happier in my life. I don't know what she does with me, I'm a jerk sometimes. I know, even though I don't like it at all and I don't want anyone to know. But she still loves me. She's the One, I'm going to marry her one day ! The whole world should be jealous of me !"

"… Oh yeah, right," said sober Tom, after watching the video several times, frozen on his couch.

"Yeah, so we can also say it's fake, but delete your Instagram post anyway. We'll figure something out. What does Y/N think ?"

"… Shit. Oh shit !"

"Did you act without thinking, honey ? Do I have to prepare a special non-disclosure agreement for ex-girlfriends ?"

"I'll call you back !"

For certain roles, and when he ad to talk with an interviewer or a annoying person, Tom Ryder had learned the expression 'sad puppy'. Very handy, he used it quite often.

What was rarer was that he actually felt sad when he did it. He hoped Y/N could see in his eyes that he was truly sorry when she opened the door. He had hesitated to take signs, like in Love Actually.

"You're not an evil genius. That's my drunk self who can't hold his tongue."

"I must admit, I didn't understand everything in your long message about betrayal, heartbreak, did you mention Hamlet at some point ? Then Jody called me to tell me about the articles. So the cat is out of the box, and I take it you're not happy about it ?"

"Oh, I don't care, the cat can wander. I just didn't understand how it got out when you wanted to keep it a secret."

"I see, you didn't think before you acted."

"Why does everyone… It's the Mint Julep's fault, okay ? I'm sorry. If you'll forgive me, so we can get back together, and then we'll see if Gail has to find a way to calm the press, or if we just accept my stupidity as our stupidity, since we're a couple."

"I didn't even know we broke up," Y/N grimaced, clearly completely lost in this conversation.

"Great, that's great, keep that mindset, baby. We're together, we love each other, and we don't care if people know or not. FYI, they love us, just like I predicted, because I'm always right. There are some jealous people, but that's normal."

"You have a Mint problem."

"That's what I thought too ! We're so connected ! Can you remind me to talk to my therapist about it ? I don't have any Post-its on me. Do you want to see my love declaration on video ? I look like a clown, I hope the press won't leak it."

Y/N, being The One, full of love and patience, not only forgave him for what happened, but also thought he was pretty adorable in the video, even though she warned him to be careful with his drinking.

The video ended up leaking anyway, and even though Gail did her best to call it a deep fake, it was shared by all her fans and viewed over a million times, garnering lots of likes and positive comments, who also said he was pretty adorable.

Since Tom Ryder's AD was 'classy and sexy', not 'adorable,' he put several post-its around his house with a huge warning that he should really be wary of Mint. But since it allowed him to go to a premiere holding Y/N's hand in front of everyone, he didn't ban him completely either.

[dyns33]

Geek event near my home. I find the booth where I started my pin collection, and the woman recognizes me. We chat. She's cool, so I take the ones she loves and was afraid I wouldn't see them go because they were a bit special. Me: "I'm looking for Pedro Pascal pins." Her: "I'll never buy any." Me: "Oh…" Her: "I could never part with them or sell them." Me: "OH !" Her: "Have you seen Eddington ? And that movie where he dies after 10 minutes ? I send my daughter a picture of him every day. His smile, what more can I say." I think I made a friend.

[dyns33]

My sister told me again that she'd talked about me and my passion for Pedro to her boyfriend and his family. That I had a problem. That I was crazy. That I should see a therapist. But, "Oh, it's okay, it's just for fun." I hardly ever talk about him with her, and I'm not going to anymore. She's the one who told me to go see The Materialists at the cinema, since I'm on sick leave with burnout at the moment. She's the one who suggested we go see The Fantastic Four together, with her boyfriend. I don't know. I don't really want to anymore.

[dyns33]

So, The Materialists, spoiler-free (more or less). If you imagined the whole story, you're probably right. It's not a bad film. Good acting, good cinematography, good pacing. A reflection on relationships, but not really new. Unsurprisingly, I only went for Pedro, but we hardly see him. To be honest, I feel like we hardly see any of the characters. Maybe to emphasize that they're materialists and so a bit empty. There's just John, who showed dreams, emotions. Who seemed human. And so in the end, against all odds, I liked him. But the others ? I don't feel like I know them. And that's normal with Harry, with so little screen time, but Lucy ? I didn't think she knew herself. As a result, it makes the ending a little too "optimistic" for my taste. I really would have gone for something else, more shocking, more intense. The good thing is, since Harry is practically a blank slate, I can write lots of stories about him without feeling too far removed from the source material.

Edit: Oh, I have to say about the kitchen scene. The knees. The 15. Perfection. Adorable.

[dyns33]

Me: "Tomorrow, we're going to the movies." Sister: "Okay." Mom: "What are you going to see ?" Me: "The Materialists. A romcom. Even though people say it's not really a comedy." Sister: "With Pedro Pascal." Mom: "Ah, I understand better. Does he die in it again ?" Me: "I don't think so. But then it would be a great comedy."

[dyns33]

Yesterday, my younger sister looked me in the eye, smiled, and said, "I made fun of you, by the way. Because you want that magazine with your actor in it, and the DVD of that romantic movie without knowing if it's any good. I said you were crazy."

And I know. I know it's a figure of speech. But I've been repeating that phrase to myself over and over again since yesterday. Crazy.

[dyns33]

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