eastern-standard-time

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i took a pic of me watching the pickle rick episode to piss people off but like somehow i managed to take the pic so that the frame on the tv was…. a different frame to the reflection on the desk?

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i hate math tests because all throughout the chapter it’s like really easy shit and then you think you’ve got it and then the test is like 

if i throw a triangle out of a car and the car is going 20 mph and wind resistance is a thing that exists, how many cupcakes can pedro buy with one human soul 

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Dealing with an unsavory player and character.

Setup, We had been running a long term homebrew campaign and a friend of ours brought in a new player who turned out to be a pain in and out of character by looting everything while we all battled the bosses then bluffed his way out.

Just after a boss fight, Me to DM(ooc): So just for clarification true resurrection only needs the smallest organic particle right?

DM: Umm yeah??

ME: Anything like a toenail, Hair or such?

DM again: Yeah..why

ME: Because this guy is pissing me off in and out of game and his character is wearing dragonscale armor with at least several chromatic breeds.

DM: still puzzled then a look of shock.

Me in character: I cast true resurrection on (characters) armor.

Player: rolls 1 on saving throw, 6 dragons immediately erupt from his body while I flee the scene.

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i love her

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Everybody knows that bards are awful, but you can tell whether someone is primarily a tabletop gamer or primarily a video gamer based on why they think bards are awful.

Video gamer: Bards are awful because they’re useless in combat and their singing is annoying.

Tabletop gamer: Bards are awful because they fuck everything and can kill you with puns.

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i saw this post earlier about therapists and it reminded me of my old therapist paul, who in my opinion is one of the greatest men alive and who did not put up with my bullshit for even one second

anyway i go in to see paul one week in the summer of 2016, and i’m doing my usual bullshit which consists of me talking shit about myself, and paul is staring at me, and then he cuts me off and says that he’s got a new tool for helping people recognize when they’re using negative language, and gets up and goes over to his desk

and i’m like alright hit me with that sweet sweet self-help article my man, because i’m a linguistic learner and whenever paul’s like here i have a tool for you to use it’s pretty much always an article or a book or something

paul opens a drawer, takes something out, and turns back around. i stare.

i say, paul.

is that a nerf gun.

yeah, says paul.

i say, are you gonna shoot me with a nerf gun in this professional setting.

he happily informs me that that’s really up to me, isn’t it. and sits back down. and gestures, like, go ahead, what were you saying?

and i squint suspiciously and start back up about how i’m having too much anxiety to leave the house to run errands, like it was a miracle to even get here, like i’ve forgone getting groceries for the past week and that’s so stupid, what a stupid issue, i’m an idiot, how could i–

a foam dart hits me in the leg.

i go, hey! because my therapist just shot me in the leg. paul blinks at me placidly and raises an eyebrow. i squint again.

i say, slowly, it’s– not a stupid issue, i’m not stupid, but it’s frustrating me and i don’t want it to be a problem i’m having.

no dart this time. okay. sweet.

so the rest of the hour passes with me intermittently getting nailed with tiny foam darts and then swearing and then fixing my language and, wouldn’t you know it, i start liking myself a little more by the end of the session, which is mildly infuriating because paul can tell and he’s very smug about it 

anyway i leave his office and the lady having the next appointment walks in and i hear what’s all over the floor? and paul very seriously says cognitive behavioral therapy tools.

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If you step on a person’s foot they open their mouths, just like trash cans.

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Netflix and avoid people

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I was wondering if the way Steven and the Diamonds temporarely cured Centi reflected something about the individual Diamond, like maybe:

Yellow is Body. She cured Centi’s physical form, but her behavior was still animal-like.

Blue is Mind. She reverted Centi’s mind back to that of a person, to the moment before the corruption ocurred, but she seemed still “trapped” in that particular moment emotionally.

Steven is Heart / Emotions. He helped stabilize Centi emotionally so that she would calm down and become aware of the present again.

And, theorically, White would be able to make the change permanent. I’m not sure what that would mean about her? Maybe White would represent Essence? Soul?

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comparing gandalf vs dumbledore is childish but not bc “it’s pointless to argue about such things, everyone can like who they want” or some little bitch shit like that but because gandalf is so many leagues beyond anything dumbledore could ever hope to have achieved that it’s like why even bother. why even attempt

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So one time in my 10th grade English class, we were doing a journalism-related project where we had to look through a newspaper for certain articles and cut them out and study them, I don’t remember exactly why. The teacher brought in a huge stack of newspapers and we all grabbed one and started doing our thing. 

I wanna stress that Mr. B was an incredibly chill teacher and was super good, and he really believed that high school students should be encouraged to take responsibility for their education and that teachers should be willing to engage in deep conversations with their classes. He was almost always willing to answer questions. But this ended up proving too much for even poor Mr. B.

Now, I was a precocious little shit, but while reading my newspaper article I came across a phrase that truly confused me: “sodomised with a pine cone.��� There was no context in the article which could have told me what this meant. It was 2002 and I had access to the internet, so I knew about the concept itself (and indeed multiple other concepts), but from sheer chance I had just never happened across the word “sodomy” before. This 15-year-old’s bum-related vocabulary went no further than butt-sex, fudge-packing, ass-fucking, or anal if you’re feeling technical. 

I read the whole article, than read it again, trying to figure out what in the world had been allegedly done with this pine cone. There was nothing whatsoever to indicate what was involved in being sodomised, especially not with a pine cone. There was only the implication that it was painful, considering a hospital visit was involved. 

So, finally, I raised my hand. And poor Mr. B, he called on me.

“Mr. B, what does ‘sodomized’ mean?” I asked.

All my classmates looked up from their newspaper clippings and notebooks, also curious, because apparently none of them had ever heard this word before, either. Mr. B, a man in his thirties with many years of teaching behind him, stood there silently staring back at me, a 15-year-old girl, as twenty other pairs of eyes watched him expectantly. I can only imagine the panic in his brain at that moment.

Finally, he sighed. “Go look it up in the dictionary, Karen.”

I stood and went over to the cabinet in the corner where Mr. B kept a huge copy of the Merriam-Webster. My classmates, meanwhile, started looking in their newspapers for the article that had prompted my question, all of them trying to figure out what it meant to be sodomised with a pine cone.

When I found the word, everything clicked. “Oh, EW,” I burst out. I went straight back to my desk and sat down.

“So? What does it mean?” My classmates asked me.

I looked at Mr. B. He had his head in his hands.

“Go look it up yourselves,” I told them.

A couple kids got up and did just that. When they returned, their faces were grim with the new knowledge of what could be done with a pine cone. 

“Well?” The other students asked.

“It’s butt sex,” one of them said solemnly, looking and sounding exactly like someone announcing an incoming nuclear missile.

We all looked at each other, pondering the technicalities of putting a pine cone up your ass.

Then the bell rang, and the incident was never spoken of again.

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hmmm

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the nine-nine family [13/22] → jake and rosa Rosa, Rosa, Rosa, Rosa Rosa, Rosa, Rosa, Rosa, Diaz, Diaz, Diaz, Diaz Diaz, Diaz, Diaz, Diaz Rosa Diaz, Rosa Diaz Diaz Rosa, Rosa Diaz Diaz, you are so cool

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A glimpse of the future…….

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you would not believe this song has been here for quite so long and that tomorrow’s its date of birth

nine years in a waking dream and now with a comeback meme the parodies spring up from all round the earth

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“This is your daily, friendly reminder to use commas instead of periods during the dialogue of your story,” she said with a smile.