easybeezy

[easybeezy]

sexyback is a good song but the idea of justin timberlake being sexual disgusts me I don't even register him as a human being let alone a person or a man he's more akin to an old blind dog who pisses everywhere

[easybeezy]

Generative ai stresses me out so bad man. Like it genuinely makes me not want to write because what's the point if people will just steal it and feed it to ai

And then idiots are like 'it makes art more accessible', like what? Art is already accessible get a paper and pen draw something, write something. What they really mean is 'my art isn't good enough yet and I'm too fucking lazy to put in the work to get better'

And then people are like 'i just use it to do the boring little tasks' like isn't that just 'life' my guy. Like I hate to break it to you if you have an idea and tell an AI to create it, you didn't make shit

And if we just ignore all of that. All of the unethical useless slop that comes from ai (because it's ALL slop) how can you justify the environmental impact

Seriously, if you say you care about the environment then use generative ai, go fuck yourself. You are a spineless worm and I don't like you just on principal alone

Apologies to everyone else for this rant

[easybeezy]

[easybeezy]

love books. because it’s like what if something happened

[easybeezy]

Edward Hart’s guide to getting the girl: how to get your rocks off without looking like a total geed.

This is because of Edward and Jin in the new chapter—blame them not me. (i will come back and edit it later)

Part one of six

Jin x MC

He’d been watching the little human prince fail for months. At first it was amusing but then somewhere between the fourth and eighth blunder it just became sad.

The first time he became aware of the little prince’s crush had been right after the Frostheim ball at the beginning of the year.

He’d heard about the ball after the fact. Not from you or the little human prince though. He’d heard it from a third party, a very drunk third party.

Second years, from any house but especially Frostheim, were not frequent occupants at Rui’s bar. Ed wasn’t entirely sure why but frankly he didn’t have the energy to care. Frostheim in general seemed to stay away from all other houses so, when he wandered down the stairs looking for Rui—he’d accidently lost the password to his Netflix account again—he was surprised to see the transfer student as well as the second year Romeo was always chasing around commiserating at the bar.

Rui wasn’t with them. The late hour as well as the slow day had sent him down into the cellar to clean and prep for the upcoming weekend rush. Leaving the second years to fend for themselves.

An untouched long island iced tea sat slowly warming in front of the brunet Ed suspected was called Lucas. Beside him the blond one was sobbing, practically supine on the wobbly bar stool and with three empty glasses surrounding him.

“He danced with her all night!” Wailed the blond. “I missed my chance.”

“It was only one song,” Lucas reassured, placing an awkward hand in the middle of his friend’s spine. “I’m sure there will be plenty of—”

“Did they look happy though?” The blond interrupted, lifting his soggy head from the table to look at his friend.

“It’s hard to say.” Lucas said frowning in thought.

This seemed to relax the blond, but this was only a temporary reprieve as Lucas immediately followed up with, “he was quite protective of her on the mission, and he did buy her a dress for the ball.”

The blond, coiled tight like a spring, let out a despondent sigh and let his head fall with a smack against the bar top.

“Three actually.” Lucas suddenly corrected himself.

“What? three!” snapped the blond then, seeing Lucas’s nod, he let out a grumbled, “of course he wins her over with money.”

The blond stared into the middle distance, swaying on the stool in a manner that sent Lucas fretting by his side. “How do you know all of this any way?” he asked, his voice taking on a dreamlike quality, “you spent the whole night with me.”

“I helped her pick which dress to wear.” Lucas had said it casually, almost flippantly but immediately realised his error upon seeing his friend’s crushed expression.

“What—you helped her…where was I? why did she ask you to help and not me.” His lip was quivering dangerously as fresh tears welled in the corners of his eyes. “Does she not trust my judgement when it comes to fashion? Does she think I dress badly? Because I just don’t have the same budget as—”

“No, no,” Lucas quickly reassured, trying to temper the immanent flood of tears. “You were just in your make up classes that’s all.”

The blond pouted and let out a sigh but thankfully didn’t begin sobbing again. Instead, he huffed and reached across to grab the untouched iced tea, only to have it snatched out of his reach.

Rui, having returned from the basement, deftly slid the drink out of reach and replaced it with a tall glass of water. Then without missing a beat he asked, “are you talking about the new honour student? She’s a real cutie huh.”

“I think you might have some competition from the little human prince.” Ed said from his spot in the shadows.

At the sound of his voice the two second years both jumped. With the blond falling from his stool in a heap and Lucas taking out a pair of twin swords, his boyish features transformed into a scowl as he readied himself for a fight.

Ed observed the pair—one battle ready the other cowering behind his friend—in amusement before turning to Rui who—used to Ed’s fondness for skulking around in the darkness—was staring at him unamused.  

“It’s just Ed, the captain of Obscuary, Luca.” Rui explained in a bored drawl as he cleaned glasses behind the bar. “No need for violence.”

“But—but isn’t the captain of Obscuary a dangerous v-vampire?” the blond squealed scrambling up to his feet as he hid behind the bar stool.

Rui just scoffed, turning to put away glasses while Ed stepped out of the shadows, putting his hands up in surrender. “Dangerous?” he purred, “I am a gentle and delicate soul.”

That earned a cackle from Rui, “delicate, yes. Gentle…not so much.”

Ed pouted at his friend, “Rui you wound me. I have never been anything but tender.”

Rui deadpanned at Ed and grumbled out a quiet, “tell that to my roses, Gramps.”

Ed recalled falling asleep in a particularly soft bed of flowers the other day but if Rui didn’t want them to be used as a mattress he shouldn’t have arranged them in such a pillowy way.

He left his vice-captain and turned to the two second years. Lucas or Luca as Rui had called him was still poised at the ready, one of his swords edging ever closer to Ed’s throat.

“Luca?” he asked. “Are you sure that’s your name?”

Luca froze, looking up at Ed as a myriad of thoughts, all baffled, swept through his head, “…yes.”

“How strange…” Ed hummed, joining the pair at the bar. He sent the blond a smile as he sat down. peering into his frenzied mind for anything of interest but, alas, there was nothing but fear, “and you are?”

“Don’t tell him Kaito,” spat Luca, his swords still at the ready, “he’ll steal your name if you do.”

 Ed stifled a laugh behind a gloved hand as he assessed the strange pair.

“You’re thinking of fairies,” Rui informed Luca, “besides you just told him Kaito’s name anyway.”

Luca froze, “oh!” an embarrassed blush coating his cheeks as, with his head down, he finally returned his swords to their sheaths.

Ed turned back to Kaito who had shuffled a few seats down his eyes still darting between Ed and the door. “So,” Ed began with a smile, “you have a crush on our dear honour student?”

From his thoughts alone Ed could tell that wasn’t quite the case. Whether he himself knew it or not he didn’t really have a crush. The beginnings of one maybe but Kaito wanted for one thing and one thing only—a girlfriend. The girl in question didn’t really matter, the poor honour student was simply the first to smile at him.

“How could I not?” sobbed Kaito, “you saw her tonight she was radiant.”

Ed might’ve reminded Kaito that he hadn’t in fact been at the Frostheim ball but a glimpse into his thoughts and he saw the honour student just as Kaito had. Done up in an expensive gown, simple makeup and hair, and on the arm of the Frostheim prince.

That was when he first became aware of the little prince’s crush, but it certainly wasn’t the last. In fact, it was only a few days later when wandering the campus—and avoiding his chores back at Obscuary—that Ed was once again confronted with the little prince and his feelings.

“Tell me. While you were picking dumb fights, where was she?”

The Frostheim captain and that same second year from the bar Luca, were staring each other down in the courtyard just outside of Vagastrom. At the little prince’s side looking stressed and a little ashamed was the honour student.

Ed still hadn’t seen the honour student. He’d gotten glimpse’s from within other students minds but never in person, never up close. Seeing someone else through the mind of another was never an accurate assessment anyway. People, no matter how objective they believe they are, can’t help but let their emotions rule their minds.

Seeing her through Kaito, after the ball, the honour student was radiant, practically glowing as though she were some kind of angelic being. Kaito didn’t see her as a real person she was a concept to him, the physical embodiment of all his romantic hopes and ideals. So, when she walked through his mind she didn’t walk, she floated. When she smiled it was blindingly bright, and her laugh sounded more like wind chimes than any real laugh Ed had heard before.

And then, when his jealousy blinded him, her image changed again. No longer was she just dancing with the Frostheim prince she was fawning over him. Practically tripping over herself to hold his hand or touch his arm.

Seeing her now, with only his own mind to contend with she looked far more real. More in line with how Luca viewed her than Kaito. Still pretty and still with a glow, or perhaps warmth, but she was real. Not some mythical goddess.

The second year, brave as always—perhaps foolishly so—didn’t back down in the face of Jin’s glare. Instead, At the ringside, if I recall correctly.”

“Yes.” Jin spat, stepping forward as the honour student fretted beside the pair. “At the ringside, surrounded by the rest of the scum from Vagastrom. Alone.”

Ed almost laughed. Whilst it was true that Vagastrom could get rowdy they were hardly the most dangerous house, not when compared to Sinostra or Obscuary.

His comment seemed to break Luca’s resolve slightly, his scowl simmering as his eyes flicked over to the honour student. “If anything happened, I would have stepped in immediately.”

The little prince took a step closer and dropped his voice down to something not so outwardly threatening but far more dangerous, “after something happens is too late.”

This seemed to finally shatter the rest of the tension with Luca’s angry scowl fading away completely. He quickly turned to the honour student and bowed low. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have put you in danger.”

Interestingly the honour student seemed to be even more concerned about Luca’s concern than she was about the fight that had just occurred. Quickly waving away his apology as she stepped around Jin to speak to Luca.

“It’s not your fault. You were just sticking up for a friend. Besides, I’m fine.”

Jin, who had been watching the exchange in silence, flared his nostrils in anger. Then, with a clenched jaw, he spat, “both of you stop messing around in other houses.”

Then he was turning and storming away, much to the surprise of the two second years.

“And stay away from the Vagastrom captain.” The little prince called out over his shoulder, “that’s not a warning. It’s an order.”

Ed smirked as he stepped out from the shadows watching as the pair watched the retreating figure of the Frostheim captain in confusion. But Ed wasn’t confused. For someone who had the reputation of being cold-hearted the little prince sure did make his affections obvious.

It wasn’t until much later that the little prince’s crush graced Ed’s doorstep again. Most likely due to his propensity to remain indoors he heard little of the prince and the honour student. Every now and then a morsel of gossip would make the deary trek down to Obscuary and he’d get an update. Like the rumour of the honour student becoming the prince’s new servant or how he had bought her a yacht on a whim one evening. But other than those small moments he didn’t hear much.

It wasn’t until after Lyca had joined Obscuary and that he got an insight into the situation.

With their newly appointed guard dog came frequent visits from the honour student, who, out of some wrapped sense of responsibility, had taken one look at the abandoned dog and decided he needed a best friend.

Their friendship was sweet, even the most cynical part of Ed’s heart was moved by their often-frenzied relationship. It wasn’t just the honour student who was charmed by Lyca’s brash nature though. He would never openly admit it but even without reading his mind Ed knew Rui appreciated Lyca’s company—and not just because it meant the honour student began visiting more.

Before Lyca had joined them much of the day at Obscuary had been spent in silence. Ed had been alive so long that now days seemed to pass by like seconds. He could go a month without ever having seen Rui and wouldn’t even notice it.

It wasn’t much better when they did speak. Their conversations often devolving into talk of curses and death. Neither topic bothered Ed, but Rui was younger than him and still easily wounded.

And when others did grace their hallowed halls, they made a direct b-line for the bar. Rui spent much of his days alone, lamenting the fact that he was now a danger to those he loved and when his friends did visit it was always through a heavy fog of alcohol.

So, Lyca’s presence—even though it meant more cleaning—was a breath of fresh air for the young reaper.

And for Ed, who had long since given up on the idea of being entertained, seeing the honour student’s bright smile was a soothing balm to his endless existence.

“When will you be finished?” Ed asked as he slinked his way into the bar.

The bar, only just having closed, was almost entirely empty. The only conscious occupants being the honour student, Rui and Lyca. With Rui desperately trying to help a horizontal Haru to his feet as Lyca and the honour student, who were tucked away in a booth, poured over Lyca’s homework.

“You promised you’d watch Kurosagi’s latest vod with me.” Ed whined as he slid into the booth seat beside the honour student and leaned his whole weight against her side.

“Leave her alone you moth-eaten Casanova, she doesn’t want to watch any of your youtub videos.”

Ed opened his mouth to correct the werewolf but was stopped by the honour student who tapped a light hand on his shoulder and offered him a tired smile. “We only have a few more questions to go over then I’m all yours.”

Ed made a dramatic show of swooning, “you tease me my dear.”

“Why don’t you help me get Haru back to Jabberwock?” Came Rui’s strained voice from the other side of the room.

All three of them turned to look at the struggling barman and the snoring Haru. Ed wrinkled his nose and waved Rui away, “I’m afraid I’m far too weak to carry someone as tall as him.”

Rui glared at his captain before, with a huff, he began dragging Haru from the bar. “Fine, don’t help. But don’t let the honour student walk back to Clementia alone.”

Ed hummed absentmindedly before turning back to the honour student. “You know…” He teased sliding closer so that his head now rested in her lap. “It is quite late.”

The honour student rolled her eyes down at the lethargic vampire but the warmth in her smile gave her away. Even without reading her mind he knew she didn’t mind his affection.

“Perhaps you should spend the night here?”

“Ugh!” Lyca spat across from them, his eyes narrowed at Ed. “Stop hitting on the honour student, she doesn’t want to stay the night with you.”

“Don’t fuss little pup,” Ed said sitting back up with a groan, “I would never dream of forcing her to spend the night with little old me. I’m sure Rui has a guest room prepared for her?”

Lyca still grumbling but not quite so outraged gave a firm nod towards the honour student, “the old man is right. It’s too late for you to walk back now.”

“Well,” the honour student looked between the two of them a smile creeping onto her face, “I’m not going to say no to a free bed and breakfast.”

Ed frowned, “breakfast?”

“Rui cooks us breakfast whenever I stay.” Explained the honour student, Lyca giving a nod of support.

“What,” Ed pouted, “he never cooks breakfast for me.”

“That’s because you never leave your room,” Lyca smirked.

“Or…” shrugged the honour student, “because you don’t eat.”

“I suppose that makes sense.” Ed acquiesced still feeling somewhat left out.

Then a trill from within the honour students bag sounded and with a sigh she collected her phone. She answered the message as a small dent of worry appeared between her eyes.

A series of flashing images appeared within Ed’s mind as he watched the honour student. He saw the Frostheim prince first. The picture of relaxation, stretched out with one hand under his head, the top few buttons of his shirt undone. And then her voice imbued with worry flooded into his mind.

I can’t believe I forgot. He’s going to kill me…Ed’s going to kill me for missing youtube night. Again.

“It’s alright my love,” Ed cooed putting a hand on her shoulder, “we can postpone our evening if you have to attend to your boyfriend.”

He said it simply to test the waters. To see how much or how little progress the prince had made. He hadn’t expected her reaction to be quite so intense.

“What?” she exclaimed, “Jin isn’t my boyfriend! He’s…kind of my boss—a jailer more than anything.”

Her defence came fast but ed couldn’t help but smirk because even though she was shaking her head, denying any attachment to the Frostheim captain her thoughts told another story.

There was frustration there, annoyance definitely and some anger too but there was also a hint of something. Longing, butterflies, affection. It tasted like warmth and fresh honey as it entered Ed’s mind.

So, he thought, the little human prince has a chance.

Jin entered his room as he always did, with a slam of his door.

Usually, it was just an indicator to everyone in Frostheim that he was not to be disturbed but tonight he was actually furious.

When he had messaged the inspector earlier that evening asking her when she was planning on returning his blazer it had been—what he had thought—a thinly veiled attempt to see her again. It had been months since their last mission together and with the chancellor constantly sending her out with the other ghouls, he had barely seen her.

Of course, he had her running errands for him, but she always ran off right after. Never staying for more than a quick hello. So, when he went to meet her at Clementia and found her with that Obscuary mutt he was more than a little disappointed.

He would’ve been fine though. After all, she seemed to only think of the young werewolf as a friend. If he had found her with Rui or Haku then he might’ve had a need to worry.

It would’ve been fine, if the werewolf hadn’t accused him of bullying the honour student.

She’s not your servant to boss around!

Even thinking about it again sent his blood boiling.

He fell onto his bed with a huff, resting his head in his hands. Even the werewolf’s accusations wouldn’t have been so bad. He didn’t care what that idiot thought, why should he. He was Jin Fucking Kamurai. He didn’t need to listen to a random first year.

But then the honour student had turned to him, her eyes half filled with apprehension half with embarrassment and had apologised to him.

Sorry, Lyca just doesn’t understand. Next time I promise I won’t forget to return your laundry.

She bowed. Actually bowed. As though he was her boss and she was worried about having her pay docked.

He’d thought that he’d been incredibly obvious, Tohma had told him as much, but even after everything. After buying her dresses, after asking her to the ball, after giving her a boat, and making every stupid excuse to spend time with her. Even after all that she still just saw him as the Frostheim captain.

“It didn’t go well then?”

Jin was up and pointing the tip of his sword at the vampire’s throat before he had taken another step out of the shadows. He scowled wrinkling his nose at Edward who, casually as though there wasn’t a blade at his neck, held up his hands and smirked.

“What are you doing here, bloodsucker?” Jin hadn’t seen the vampire since the night the Laurel Crown was revived and before that they hadn’t spoken since the clash.

“Now, now,” the old vampire coaxed, not at all threated by Jin’s sword, “I came to offer my assistance.”

Jin snorted, “what on earth would I need your assistance with?”

“I know you have feelings for our darling inspector”—despite himself Jin’s scowl twitched— “and I also know you are struggling to capture her heart.”

Jin quickly composed himself and let his sword drop, tossing it on top of his bed. “Who says I have feelings for her?”

The vampire simply gave him a knowing look, “Please little prince. You bought her a boat and bribed the school to find the Kyklos…it’s not as though you’re subtle.”

“Okay, fine.” He huffed. “But why of all people would I ask for your help?” he smirked. “From what I hear these days you spend all your time locked in your room…doesn’t scream romance if you ask me.”

“Funny,” the vampire said his voice cold, “I hear the same things about you.”

Jin swallowed back his anger. If it were anyone else, he would’ve picked up his sword again but as he was fairly certain loss of limb wouldn’t stop the vampire, he just clenched his fists instead.

“I’ll have you know I’ve become quite close with the inspector recently.” The vampire held out a hand. “It’s up to you of course, but from what I’ve heard there’s no one else willing to help you.”

Jin scowled at the vampire a moment, the pair staring each other down. Edward wasn’t wrong, aside from Tohma Jin was mostly alone at Darkwick these days and his vice-captain’s advice boiled down to tell her how you feel or get over it.

So, already regretting it, Jin stepped forward and shook the vampire’s hand.

[easybeezy]

NOTICE: As more and more fanfic writers are using generative AI for their works (you uncreative dweebs), I hereby swear on everything I hold dear that I have not and will NEVER use generative AI in ANY of my written work. Everything I post will be organically and creatively my own.

[easybeezy]

[easybeezy]

I think the six ghouls will just be Haku and all his other personalities...zenji can come too

[easybeezy]

[easybeezy]

Ummm. Sorry. WHAT?

[easybeezy]

"Un-uhlaive? UN-UHLAIVE? Ma'am, that man has been killed. He has been MUHDUHED. To DEATH."

[easybeezy]

i literally dont care what your excuse for using AI is. if you didnt put your own effort into making it im not putting my own effort into interacting with it.

[easybeezy]

[easybeezy]

[easybeezy]

Walmart is out here charging 5 dollars for a pool noodle.

[easybeezy]

Rui saw you, met you, fell in love with you and then kissed you-in that order

this has no title and probably makes no sense, its just a little Rui story I've had in my head for ages. If anyone even remotely enjoys this then i will be so happy--besides its time i stopped leeching off all the creative people in this fandom and actually contributed something

The closest Rui gets to dreaming is when he closes his eyes and thinks of you.

It is a blissful reprieve from the endless tasks that fill his day.

Before you, he felt more like an insect than a person. Always busy, scuttling from one place to the next, constantly around but largely ignored.

He takes a moment, just quietly, to picture you now.

With his eyes closed and drawing in a breath he thinks of you, your eyes, your lips, your smile. The last thing you had said to him.

All of it hurts to think of now, but it is a bracing pain. Something that centres him, steadies him, reminds him of what is at stake.

Then, opening his eyes, he steps forward into the facility.

*

He had been making his way to the library, returning a few of books Ed had checked out and then promptly forgotten about.

Rui didn’t like going into campus at the best of times but especially not to clean up after his geriatric housemate but if he didn’t do it then it wouldn’t get done.

So, he went anyway, and he went with a smile.

It was easier that way.

People didn’t stop to talk to him, ask him how his day was going, not like they used to.

He wasn’t a person anymore, not really. He was more like an npc, nodding and smiling his way through campus.

At least that way some people smiled back.

It was then that he first saw you.

The whole campus, not just him, had been roused by Kaito’s piercing screams. Watching Kaito, the second year with a gambling debt, flee from Fico was not an uncommon occurrence. What was uncommon though was you, running ahead of them both, a black veil draped over your face.

Flabbergasted was the feeling that came to mind as Rui watched Romeo, composed, serious—often too serious—Romeo chasing after you.

It wasn’t love at first sight—he didn’t believe in that stuff anymore, but intrigue? Definitely.

After all, anyone who could cause such chaos on their first day at Darkwick was someone Rui wanted to know.

*

He had asked Romeo, after he was pliantly drunk, who you were that night.

“You mean the BB running around wearing Hera’s snakes as a veil, ugh.” He huffed and set down his empty glass, tapping the wooden tabletop twice in a gesture Rui was all too familiar with.

“Do you mean the Honor student, wait she’s the same girl who had the Frostheim kid chasing after her?” Haru asked, red faced and leaning against the bar.

Rui nodded and set down another old fashioned in front of Romeo, “yeah, I’ve never seen Romi run so fast.”

“I was chasing that leech Fuji not the BB,” Romi scowled as he sipped his drink, the crease between his brows lessening slightly as he drank. “Why do you want to know about her anyway Mickey? Interested?”

Romeo and Haru shared a conspiratorial look that only made Rui roll his eyes.

Unsurprisingly he had gotten very little in the way of answers. Romeo was still trying to figure you out as well and as was his way, Romeo always reserved judgment until he was sure of a person’s character and you, you were an enigma to them all.

So aside from a comment about your horrible—Romeo’s words not Rui’s—taste in fashion, he had learned nothing.

*

It is meant to be a testing facility.

That’s what Darkwick had called it when the subject was first broached. A branch of the hospital that would house you, take care of you.

You had wanted to stay in Mortkranken instead, but the academy had shot that down, claiming it was too risky.

Yuri had raged of course, like he did whenever you were concerned, but it had been for nought.

They called it a facility, but it is immediately obvious to Rui that it’s a prison.

There is none of the clean crisp interior of the hospital, no lemon scented cleaning products or plush hospital beds. There are no doctors, no one to help here.

Hidden away on the grounds of Hotarubi and guarded constantly by men in suits, it is barely a ruin. Built around the corpse of something ancient and sinister. The walls thick with moss and the ground nothing more than churned up dirt.  

Rui had heard Lyca’s night terrors, he had heard you explain just how harrowing it had been finding the young boy locked away down here, but only now did he understand the true horror of this place.

*

The first time Rui had spoken to you, really spoken to you, was just after Lyca had arrived at Obscuary.

You had taken on the role of Lyca’s protector with a fierceness that Rui had found both heartwarming and humorous.

How quickly you and the young werewolf had ingratiated yourselves to each other, it would have been alarming but then Rui was dragged into your small circle and found that making people fit, making them feel safe, was just something you did.

You had been drinking with Haru and Romeo, listening to the red-head’s increasingly incoherent stories with enthusiasm. Laughing brightly and sipping at the watermelon mojito Rui had made you.

You were a slow drinker, sipping rather than gulping like Haru and Romeo, but still you were just as tipsy.

After the others had left—Romeo still on two feet, Haru being dragged along behind him—you had turned to him and blinked your bright doe-eyes up at him like you were waiting for something.

“If it’s another drink you want, I’m afraid I’m going to have to cut you off,” Rui turned to polish some already spotless glasses, needing to break away from your gaze. “You’ve gone all glassy eyed on me, you need to get up to bed before I have to carry you.”

He’d said it playfully, more to fill the silence rather than start a real conversation, so when you spoke, your voice quiet but filled with an intensity he froze.

“What about you? Are you going to head to bed?”

It had been an innocent enough question, you couldn’t have known how it affected him. But affect him, it did.

“I ah,” he turned, rubbing his gloved hand against the back of his neck, “I don’t really sleep.”

He had been hoping to avoid this conversation, ideally forever. You still looked at him like he was a good guy, like you were comfortable around him. Shattering that had been the last thing on Rui’s checklist.

“Really?” your eyes lit up, shifting in your seat, no longer looking tired, now you were wide awake.

It was hard not to find your curiosity charming. After spending so long in Darkwick all of its curiosities had become commonplace to Rui, he often forgot that you were still finding your place here.

“Yeah it’s…”

He didn’t know how to explain it without scaring you, nor did he want to divulge the darkest parts of himself to a drunk girl at three in the morning. But he also didn’t want to cut you out, in fact he found he couldn’t.

The idea of dismissing your curiosity, of closing you out like he did so often to everyone else, twisted his insides painfully.

“It’s a side effect of my curse.”

That had been the first time he had opened himself up to you. Showed you his dark rotting core. It was also the first time that not just you, but anyone hadn’t flinched away in horror.

After he had confessed to you, a small part of his dangerous past, you had looked him the same way you always did.

It was the kindest thing anyone had ever done for him.

*

The day things had really changed though was about a week after that first mission together.

You had been coming around to Obscuary a lot. To watch videos with Ed, to help Lyca with his work. Rui had thought you were lonely, shut away in the ruins of Clementia. He knew the feeling.

He always liked when you visited, even though it wasn’t to see him. A quick chat, a smile, it was enough for him. Each moment with you felt like life was being breathed back into him.

It was different to his curse, that felt parasitic, like death and decay. Being with you, around you, felt like connection, like sunlight directly into his bones.

You had found him in the basement of the bar. He was sorting though some of his anomalous ingredients, checking to see what he was low on.

You had approached with your hands behind your back, a curious look on your face. It was the same look you had whenever you wanted a complicated cocktail.

He smiled, standing to face you fully, “out with it, what do you want?”

You skipped closer to him and instead of saying whatever it was that was on your mind you reached out.

He flinched back but you had been quicker, the tips of your fingertips brushing against his cheek.

He had looked at you with horror, waiting for the moment the light would leave your eyes, and you’d crumple, a dried husk.  

Instead, you just smiled at him, the playfulness gone from your face replaced with something softer, a gentle concern that felt as close to a caress as he remembered.

“It’s okay,” you said quietly holding up your hand to show him a pair of brown leather gloves. “Ed thought it would work, and it did!”

You were excited but Rui couldn’t brush away his horror, “Ed thought?”

You heard the edge in his tone and stumbled back, dropping your hand to your side. Your smile dropping away and ducking your head looking scolded, ashamed.

Rui hated that all he wanted to do was grab a hold of you, reassure you that it wasn’t you he was angry with. “Why would you take that risk, I could have—I could have…”

He couldn’t even say the words; they turned his mouth sour and squeezed his heart painfully. So instead, he just looked back to you, waiting for your explanation as to why you would take such a risk.

Did you have a death wish?

Had Ed convinced you to?

Rui didn’t care that it would’nt kill him, he’d touch the vampire anyway if he had intentionally put you in danger.

Your eyes flicked up to him meekly, “I just thought it would make you happy…I didn’t think—”

“No, you didn’t,” he snapped angrily, turning away so you couldn’t see the fear in his eyes, “what if the gloves hadn’t worked, how do you think I’d feel if you I killed you.”

He could almost feel you move closer, like the air around you was a degree warmer than everywhere else.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve asked you first.”

“You’re right, you should have,” he turned around, his back pressed against the potters table, “I never would have let you but still…you should have asked.”

Your eyes softened as you looked at him, “oh, Rui.” you reached out a gloved hand, slowly this time.

Rui stilled, watching your hand like it was a bear trap. When you finally touched him, he waited a beat, just long enough to make sure you were really okay, before he gave in, leaning into your palm with reverence.

He must’ve looked pathetic, rubbing his face against your open palm like a touch starved cat but he couldn’t help it.

It was like he had been locked underground all his life and finally after years, he had felt the sun against his skin.

You never took the gloves off after that.

*

None of the others understand your choice.

That day when, struggling to remain unemotional, Yuri had announced that it was over. That he was out of ideas, that the end was inevitable.  

What you had asked of all of them. 

None of them had understood, but Rui did, does.

He knows what it is like to be a monster.

A real one, not like Lyca and Ed who only think they are monsters. He knows what it is like to be a destructive force, capable of only bringing pain and suffering to the world.  

He knows what it is to live with that, and he understands why you don’t want to.

So, when you had announced your plan to the rest of them, he was the only one who hadn’t raged. He didn’t fight or try to convince you out of your choice, he knew it was too late for that.  

That doesn't mean that he doesn't want to be selfish though. 

To beg you.

To plead with you. 

But in the end, he loves you more. Loves you enough to give you peace, even if it means being without you, even if it means going back to how he used to be.

*

The prison is quiet. Their plan to draw the guards away, distract them with a scene at the main building, has worked.

Lyca doesn't like the plan, nor does he know the full extent of it, but he had promised you so Rui knows he will keep his word. Still though, he doesn’t have long, there is only so much one werewolf and two second years can do.

*

“You’re always making everyone else drinks,” you said twirling around a bottle of whiskey just like he had taught you to only an hour earlier, “let me make one for you.”

It had become commonplace for you and Lyca to help out behind the bar. Lyca because he wanted to practice his social skills and you because…he actually didn’t know why you joined him some evenings.

He thought it was probably so you could keep an eye on Lyca, keep him out of trouble. But sometimes he imagined you came for him.

Rui smiled across to you and nodded, before he deftly hoped over the bar and took a seat on one of the stools, “okay then, what are you making me?”

“It’s a surprise.” You responded, your eyes twinkling.

You were the only two left in the bar, everyone else had walked or otherwise stumbled out, you offered to stay and help him clean. And boy was there a lot to clean.

Rui hadn’t been onto it tonight. Clumsy and distracted. More concerned with flirting with you, entertaining you, than ensuring the bar remained spill free and the dishes clean.

You were seriously becoming a hazard his business, but he didn’t really have it in him to care. Each moment with you felt like his head was just barely cresting above the waves.

He watched you feeling almost giddy as you made a show of getting different liquors and syrups, pouring them into a cocktail shaker. He could already tell that whatever you were making was going to be a disaster, far too sweet and far too strong, but you looked so happy doing it that he just grinned up at you.

You weren’t the best at making drinks to begin with, he only really ever let you mix for Haru and that’s because he was usually too drunk to even taste what he was putting in his body.

You set down a whiskey glass of purple-brown liquid with a smile. Rui looked from the glass to you dubiously.

“You wont even try it?” you pleaded, “I made it just for you.”

Of course he would.

It was basically just sugar, strong notes of chestnut and lemon waged war on his pallet only to be completely destroyed by an aftertaste of rubbing alcohol.

Rui coughed, blustering as he grimaced up at you, “that is awful,” he explained with a smile.

“No, really?” you frowned scooping up the glass and taking a swig only to immediately double over in a coughing fit. “God,” you winced setting the glass down, “that is atrocious.”

Rui grinned and you, overcome by the silliness of the situation or perhaps the alcohol, bust into a fit of giggles.

Rui took the glass again, choaking down another sip, much to your amazement. You fretted hands reaching over to try and pry the glass from his grip.

“No, don’t drink it its terrible!”

Rui just smirked, “but it was made especially for me.”

*

It is just Rui now, alone in the dark navigating the winding tunnels.

Despite himself he can’t force his feet to move any faster.

It wasn’t meant to happen so quickly.

None of them had expected the acceleration in your condition. No changes for almost a full year and then in the space of a month everything went south.

Outwardly Lyca was the most upset, most confused by your sudden downturn. Rui had kept himself calm on the surface, for you, for the others, but inside he felt like he was drowning.

Yuri had promised him time, had promised him a warning. It wasn’t meant to happen like this. So quickly.

He’d barely had time to process the new timeline, accept that time for you, for him, was running out, when they had taken you away.

*

The first night he spent with you was after a mission you had with Mortkanken.

Something about it had really scared you, more so than any other mission and you didn’t want to sleep alone at Clementia.

Ed and Lyca had been delighted seeing you back in your makeshift room at Obscuary. Rui was…more conflicted.

At some point he had fallen for you, entirely.

That was old news though, he could’ve nursed his one-sided crush forever. Dealt with it through frivolous flirting over custom cocktails and shameless pick-up lines but you had begun to act differently around him. Choosing to sit by him rather than Lyca, seeking him out to chat on campus, offering to help him in the bar.

It should have made him happy, and the selfish part of him was, but the rest of him just felt guilty.

You deserved better than him. You deserved someone who could actually touch you. Who could hold your hand without fear. Your gloves were nice, but a relationship built on little more than an occasional hand touch wasn’t the kind of relationship someone like you deserved.

And its not like you were devoid of options. Half the ghouls went gooey eyed just looking at you. It would’ve killed him to watch you be swept up by someone else, but it would’ve been better, safer for you.

So, he had tried to avoid you, create some distance. Hoping that it would force you into the arms of another. He should’ve known it was impossible though. He knew how stubborn you were, it was one of the things he adored about you.

He had locked himself away in his room, not sleeping just thinking, imagining a world where he was normal, where he had never been cursed, where he could be the type of boyfriend you deserved.

He felt the bed dip and he pealed open an eye expecting Ed, who often broke into his room to demand he fix the internet speed or solve a disagreement between him and Lyca.

Instead, he saw you, still in your jeans and jumper from that day.

He should’ve moved, gotten off the bed but instead he just watched you, waiting to see what you would do.

You didn’t speak as you shifted, lying down on the opposite side of the bed, facing him.

He was so close to making a flippant comment, something about how if you wanted to get him into bed all you needed to do was ask but there was a vulnerableness in your expression, whatever you had come here to say was important. So, he shut off the part of himself that wanted to flirt, to fill the air with noise, and waited.

“Can we pretend, just for tonight, that we’re both normal?” you reached across the bed, your hand dragging along the covers holding your open palm between your two bodies.  

Rui looked at you then at your gloved hand before, carefully, he reached across and laced you fingers together. He closed his eyes at the touch, letting the feeling wash over him.

It was pathetic really, how a single touch, a single caress, felt. How it sent him spiralling.

You were like a heaping spoon of honey after only ever tasting ash. Too sweet, too intense. it made him want to close his eyes, to cringe away, whilst at the same time lean in. sometimes he thought that if he could actually touch you, skin to skin, or kiss you, that it would be too much.

The taste of you almost burned his throat with the intensity of it.

He opened his eyes and met your gaze before giving you a single, almost imperceptible, nod. He would pretend with you forever if he could.

“We’re in love with each other, aren’t we?”

Your voice and expression were laced with tragedy and Rui found his own feelings a mirror of yours. His heart both swelled with joy and hope and clenched with pain at your confession.

You were in love with each other. You had been for a while.

But what did it matter? What did it change?

Everything that still stood between you was still there. Obstacles that were not made any easier with the confirmation of your feelings.

He nodded slowly, “I’m afraid so.” He looked down to your interlocked hands. “Desperately, in fact.”

A single icy tear pooled at the corner of your eye before rolling down your cheek where it hit the silk pillow. You nodded, before bringing your intertwined hands up, close to your face.

You pressed a single feather light kiss against the back of his hand, so gentle he almost didn’t feel it through his glove. Then you closed your eyes.

There was nothing else to say, nothing to do.

So, Rui just rubbed his thumb against your hand and imagined he was falling asleep with you.

*

It’s not hard to find your cell. You are their prize catch after all.

The kyklos is a strange anomaly, its slow change rate allowing the academy time to perform all manner of horrifying tests.

You are the only one in this wing. In the bowels of the prison. There’s no light here and it takes Rui a moment for his eyes to adjust.

You are at the back of your cage, curled in on yourself. You flinch when you hear him approaching.

You are blind now.

The bouquet that covers most of your body has taken your eyes too.

*

He was in the garden when you found him.

You had been on a mission all week and still technically were, he hadn’t expected to see you. So, when he spotted your figure approaching through the forest, he couldn’t help the smile that overtook his face.

“I thought you weren’t back until tomorrow!” he called out, setting down his secateurs and jogging up to you, “you should’ve told me I could have walked with you or met you at Clem—”

You were crying and you had been for a while. Not sobbing, but silent tears were still gathering in the corners of your devastated expression.

At first, he thought the worst had happened. That someone had died. You’d been on the mission with Frostheim, you were close with all of those ghouls but Kaito and Luca in particular.

He wanted to run to you, to take you in his arms and assure you it would be okay. But he couldn’t so he just stood in front of you.

“What is it?”

Your eyes flicked up to him, worry clear on your face. For a moment you just chewed your lip and avoided his eyeline then finally you said, “I kissed Jin.”

He felt his heart crack. Not a small splinter but a chasm opening up inside of him. He tried to swallow back his hurt, push down the pain. You didn’t ow him anything, hadn’t made him any promises. You weren’t together, even if you acted like it, even though you loved each other.

“I don’t know why I did it…I just—I was just scared and sad and he was too and” —you take a step forward still rambling— "and for a moment I thought he understood me.”

At first Rui thought you were sad because you were breaking his heart, and truthfully half of him had hoped that you were.

He didn't know the Frostheim captain that well or even like him, but you could kiss him, you could be together and be safe. It would've been a better life for you.

The other half was dying.

“I regretted it right away,” you took another step closer, your arms outstretched fall uselessly at your sides. You looked down at your clasped hands and sniffled before finally looking back at him. “Are you angry?”

He hated the hope that bloomed within him. You weren’t here to break his heart, to rip him in two and discard him, you were here to ask for forgiveness.

Part of him is angry, furious, but a larger part is just relieved that you picked him. Still chose him when you had so many better options. How could he be angry at you, how could he hold a stupid kiss against you when he stole everything from you by being with you.

If he was a better man, he might’ve pushed you towards Jin. Insisted that he was the better option, but he was selfish and, God, he would choose you in any lifetime.

So, he did what he always did, he hid behind a flirtatious smile. 

“Don't worry I only care about being your last kiss.”

*

The small cage they have you in, grimy and dark, makes him want to rage. It makes him want to go to Cornelius and end his life with just one touch.

You are curled in in yourself, hugging your knees to your chest. He’s never seen you look so small, so scared, flinching as he approaches. 

“Who's there?” 

Your voice is marred with pain, and it makes Rui’s mind flicker to the darkest corners. Horrors blooming as he ponders over what tests they have been performing on you. 

“It's me.”

He hates that smile. The one that takes over your whole face as though he is a hero here to save you when in reality, he is here to do the opposite. It makes him feel sick.  

“I was starting to think you wouldn't come.” 

“I didn't want to,” he quietly admits to himself. 

*

When you had first broached the subject with him, he had thought it was a joke. 

Some kind of cruel prank. 

He had only just gotten used to the idea that you could love him despite his curse and asking that of him had set your relationship back weeks. 

He thought it was just a twisted call back to months before when you had confessed that you had kissed Jin.

*

“Will you come closer?” Your wrists are red raw from the cuffs and that is nothing to say of the one around your neck. 

As though subconsciously pulled towards you, he moves unthinkingly, dragging himself forward until he’s right in front of you.

The sight of your hands reaching for him pull at something in his gut.  

He takes them rubbing his thumb against your gloved hand as he slides to his knees across from you. The feeling of touching you still startles him.

“They let you keep the gloves?”

“They’re the only thing they let me keep.”

You reach blindly and press a hand to his cheek. He leans into your touch like it is the first time again.

“Why?” he asks his voice broken with pain.

“I'm sorry that it has to be you.” You are still so beautiful, even as you’re being slowly buried alive by flowers. “I'm sorry that I want it to be you.” 

He looked down at your hands and a stray tear falls, staining the brown leather of your gloves. “I wish this had never happened to you.”

“Then I wouldn't have met you.” 

He wants to make a joke, to plead with you to change your mind, to insist that there’s still time. But he forces it down. “But you'd be safe.”

“This is safe,” you remind him, running your hand over his cheek. “You make me feel safe.” 

He sighs his eyes fluttering closed briefly as he twists his head and kisses your palm.

“I wouldn't have changed it.” you whisper. “I need you to know that. I picked you for a reason Rui.”

He laughs through his tears and it’s a pathetic watery sound, “Yeah, because you're crazy.” 

“Just shut up and kiss me.”

He swallows and looks across to you. Theres only happiness on your face, a smile so bright it feels out of place in a gloomy place like this.

He can hear guards running through the tunnels, coming to stop him and achingly he realises he’s almost out of time.  

Tentatively he leans forward but you hold up a finger, stopping him.  

“I'll say it now because I won't be able to after.” He shakes his head, unable to think of the after. “You deserve love, and you're allowed to be happy.” 

“I'm happy with you,” Rui insists, squeezing your hands.

You tug him closer, the sound of the thundering guards increasing as he inches forward.

“I love you.” He breathes out, the words hitting you, fanning over your lips in a gentle caress.

Then as the guards burst through, he draws you in, dragging you against him, touching every inch of his body to every inch of yours as he kisses you.

And it is unlike anything he remembers but that might just be because it is you.

He feels the familiar sting, the pull of his curse drawing the life from you and feeding him. He can feel the moment the life completely leaves you, but he doesn’t let you go, he can’t.

Instead, he drags you closer, your chains rattling as he pulls you into his lap and buries his face in your hair.

He can still feel you on his lips, in his blood. He can feel it when the guards drag him away, when Cornelius interrogates him and still the next day. It’s not his reaper curse though, this is different.

You were already under his skin long before he ever kissed you.