eclecticpersonstudenthumanoid

[eclecticpersonstudenthumanoid]

i thought simply exiting situations that bother me could release the heavy burden i carry in my heart

breaking a vase and making it a secret was the only things i had to carry before

now, everything built up in my heart

the guilt and emotions

unspoken words and pent up feelings

that it feels like, if i say it out loud

maybe, it would feel like the broken vase my mother was chill about, 12 years ago

but i guess, it would be a lot of vases to forgive

[eclecticpersonstudenthumanoid]

i no longer use my favorite pillow as a child

a homemade pillow my mom created when we were poor

it's ragged now, in the corner of my table

letting go of the warmth it brought

stopped letting it embrace me whenever my parents went to work

i now use the one bought online

the one i wish, could endure my pain in this world

who could possibly hug me for the times i feel alone

it's new, fluffy

refreshing and dreamy

but will it ever add up to the comfort my past brought?

[eclecticpersonstudenthumanoid]

i swear i could feel my frontal lobe developing when i see the shit i've done weeks ago and cringe for five minutes

[eclecticpersonstudenthumanoid]

i am everything that i used to love

and maybe that's why i laugh the way you used to laugh and i may have even adapted the way u type. and maybe it's because, at the some point i lost the biggest part of myself, a part of you shaded it.

and it's why i hated it. i hate how i hear myself or even the way i type. because i feel like some of your fragments will be embedded in me.

it's scary and excruciatingly painful.

i hate to say this but make it stop. im sorry but i need to let you out.

[eclecticpersonstudenthumanoid]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ🍚🚽🛍️🛒ㅤ. . ʕ •́؈•̀ ₎ blue period locks+homescreen.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤlike or reblog, don't repost!