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too many catnip mice, too little time.

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Can’t wait to not sleep at all on September 11th

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In my opinion it's a lot more healthy to be able to own that you dislike someone for petty reasons than to do all kinds of mental gymnastics to make everyone you don't really vibe with out to be a bad person actually

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I've gone fifteen years on this website without absorbing any information about homestuck and I'm not about to start now

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yeah actually we removed the big bad wolf from the little red riding hood story because portraying violence against minors is really messed up. yeah. yeah also the wolf narrative was really predatory and had had some icky grooming vibes and a fable meant for literal children shouldn’t have implied p*do shit and grape so now little red riding hood goes into the woods and nothing happens and she goes to grandma’s house. don’t worry our kids will still stick to the path and know not to follow to wolves implicitly because we told them to and children should always do as their told. just like little red riding hood does now.

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went into a wine shop the other day to buy pasta and they did not have pasta but they were doing a wine tasting so i thought what the hell. and got to chatting with the other woman there because we had both just come from the library and were comparing our books and sipping wine and turns out we’re both teachers so we got on the topic of phones in classrooms—and the guy pouring our wine was like ‘that’s actually a point of contention in one of my divorces right now.’

and i very delicately said ‘one of your divorces?’ and his eyes got really big and he said I’M A PARALEGAL

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wow this person openly mentioning how they want people to dm them is really cool. sucks that i cant dm them because if i tried they would kill me with a stick

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You know, if you're going to dye a fountain for some cause, you might want to think seriously about what visual effect your choice of color will have when added to water ...

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Character who's a third wheel, but in the same way that a tricycle has three wheels. You technically might be able to remove him, but it's going to be a lot less stable and a lot more likely to result in someone's death if you do.

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A year or so ago I went to wood carving club with a bruised eye from my dog slamming his nose into my eyesocket and like every old lady there pulled me aside at some point to ask if my partner hit me here are some of the solutions they had in case he did.

-Replacing his vitimens with poision

- getting her brother to invite him out onto his boat and then killing him and dumping him in the ocean and saying he got drunk and fell off.

- get tboned with him in the passenger seat and then once he was in the hospital theres all kinds of easy ways to kill him like not washing my hands after a poop and then touching his wound casually.

-replacing his drink of choice with moonshine!?

- take him on a hike thats locally notorious for a rapid otter attacking hikers and once he had rabies I could just kill him any ol way and say self defense.

-One lady just cheerfully informed me she had a gun and only a few years left anyway

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We no longer really see 16 or 15 or 13 or what have you as actually being an adult but we have parties for these things anyways

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i think the single most unrealistic part of superman 2025 was when it was announced that superman's kryptonian parents told him to have a harem and it was exclusively met with fear and disgust. I KNOW there would've been at least five dedicated subreddits that would have thousands being like HOW TO GET INTO SUPERMAN'S HAREM PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ONE SHOT BIG BLUE THAT'S ALL I'M ASKING

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Superman (2025) persuasively sells you on something most other recent superhero movies don't, which is that a world with Superman is better off in meaningful ways than a world without.

It would fucking suck to live in the Marvel Universe as a non-superhero. You can identify with the protagonists, you can fantasize about being Tony Stark or whoever, but if you think about the civilians in those movies, the randos killed by the robot or sucked into the portal, it's hard to see the existence of superheroes as a net positive. They mostly seem to clean up problems that wouldn't have occurred in the first place without their egos and mistakes. Superman has a different emphasis though. The fantasy isn't just about having superpowers yourself, but about what if the natural disaster equivalent only did property damage, what if military aggression could be stopped in its tracks without a single civilian casualty, what if the evillest people in the world actually got their comeuppance.

It really meets the moment. I think a lot of us are wishing someone with power would do Literally Anything for the public good.

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PSA

the internet archive is getting sued for a bajillion dollars. you can voice your support for the archive and its services on change.org here or below.

the actual internet archive staff are pushing for signatures, so i figured i would support. + definitely reblog if you feel so inclined.

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my favorite part of the week is when we watch a guy turn chocolate into a fucking bike and we have to just accept that it happened.

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.❤️