ejlyt

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local luzers

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just remembered this tiktok

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tim: hey, which do you think? red dress or black dress for tonight?

kon: oh i don't know, you'll look beautiful in whatever you decide

tim: thank you, but im actually having a hard tim deciding and i was hoping you could pick

kon: either way you're gonna be the prettiest one at the gala babe, i love you so much

tim: okay no- i love you too and i know you think im beautiful and this isn't a test. i just, which dress would you perfer to see me in tonight?

kon: i prefer you just the way you are

tim, stepping out of his room: oh my god- HEY JASON! red dress or black dress!?

jason, from otherside of the manor: black. red makes you look like a bitch

tim: thank you!

jason: no problem!

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I know that everyone has basically agreed that dc stands for disregard canon, but I think it was such a missed opportunity to canonize timkon after confirming tim’s sexuality. and tbh I haven’t read enough recent comic issues to develop a solid opinion on bernard, but from the little bits and pieces that I’ve gathered, he and tim make quite the cute couple!!

I do, however, think it would’ve been satisfying to see timkon canon since they were established for so much longer. then again, knowing how dc is and how they would most likely fuck up the relationship (I’m looking at you batcat) maybe it’s for the best that they didn't go through with that

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as we march towards a shining era of more people calling their friends "babe" and "sweetheart" platonically, let us also strive towards a brighter tomorrow wherein more couples call each other "bruh" and "my dude" as a term of romantic endearment

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I'm a very big fan of the “one of the ways Batman fights crime is by making the bad guys afraid he could be anywhere”. The “he’s not in every shadow, but he could be in any shadow” thing.

I think it would be fun to mix that with the way the rest of the batfam is drawn when they're in shadows:

the glowy eyes and splashes of vibrant colour, especially with Nightwing's symbol looking like it's actually reflective.

So now I'm thinking:

imagine if Gothamites realized that dangerous people get really uneasy when they keep seeing things that, out of the corner of their eye, might look like a vigilante. To the point that they avoid areas where, let's say, an old poster on the wall is just that shade of yellow that keeps jumpscaring them every time they turn. Or that old trash can that still has a patch of green paint that hasn't peeled away yet. Not even realizing what makes them nervous, just knowing that a particular place makes them jumpy. Stuff like that.

So to keep themselves a little safer Gothamites just start… adding little things like that in their neighborhoods. Nothing that outright references the Bats - stuff like that might get vandalised or just lose the effect if it's recognised, but things like:

- plants on window sills in flower pots or vases in bright colors

- little shiny trinkets in the windows that just might be mistaken for a flash of a utility belt

- colorful curtains get very popular for children's bedrooms

- someone sticking a piece of blue reflective vinyl on a chimney visible from the street, so that as you walk you see a little flash of electric blue when the light from streetlights hits it just right

- people painting a pair of dots with glow-in-the-dark white paint high up on walls by fire escapes or in dark alleys, that look like glowing eyes

So basically I want Gothamites to invent protective charms and amulets which have exactly zero supernatural properties and aren’t intended to have any, but still very much work lmao

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Reblog to headbonk your mutuals like a cat full of love

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Closing and reopening ao3 hoping for it to magically be done with maintenance like one would open the fridge like it would magically be full of food

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Alfred is happily responsible for preparing the meals at Wayne Manor, but Bruce is the king of sneaking power snacks to his children throughout the day.

The bat-kids are notoriously terrible at eating three course meals when they're supposed to, especially dinner and breakfast (depending on when patrol starts and ends). But Bruce "secretly an incredibly doting father" Wayne has luckily adapted about 80% of his children's recommended nutrients and vitamins into small snacks he methodically sneaks to them every day.

Tim's staying up late at the bat computer? All good, Bruce slides a goldfish onto the keyboard every two minutes and watches, with feigned indiference, as Tim pops each one into his mouth without thinking.

Damian demands to stay perched on a warehouse rooftop for an extra hour? No problem, Bruce has a stash of fresh almonds taped to a cieling tile.

Jason's skipping lunch to wrap up his knuckles on the living room couch? It's okay, Bruce turns on one of Jay's favorite movies, and while he's distracted, peels slices of a fresh tangerine and feeds them to him one by one.

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I’ve made this post like six times but it still fucks me up the China’s mountains just look like that. Like I spent decades thinking it was stylistic but no, they just have different mountains over there.

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Bruce, gripping Wonder Woman’s lasso, the other end of which is around his former sidekick’s waist: Tim. Tell the truth.

Tim: Okay, sure. So what happened that morning was -

Dick: Yeah, that’s not gonna work. Try this one.

Bruce, gripping Donna’s Lasso of Persuasion, the other end of which is around Tim’s waist: Tell the whole truth.

Tim, rolling his eyes: Fine. As I was saying, you need some context, but -

Bruce: Tell nothing but the truth.

Tim: Hmm. Yeah, okay. So… The night before, we ran into the Scarecrow, and -

Bruce, eye twitching: Do not imply anything other than the truth.

Tim: Jeez, fine. Well, Kon was pretty injured, but we -

Bruce: Do not present emotional interpretations that do not align with the truth! Or any other kind of misleading interpretation!

Tim, visibly thinking: Don’t… present… Yeah, I can do that. Anyway, as I keep trying to tell you…

Dick: Oh my GOD. How the hell are you even planning to get around that one?

Tim, shrugging: I was gonna go with focusing your attention on the wrong parts of the story, and some poorly presented statistics and graphs as backup. Manipulate the axes, the zero-point, the units, the p-values. You know. The works.

Bruce and Dick, blinking:

Tim: What, did you expect me not to answer that question? I’m under a truth compulsion. Look. [gesturing with his hand] Lassoes.

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the transition from people needing each other to wanting each other is literally one of my greatest weaknesses that shit makes me want to walk into the sea and sit on the ocean floor for a thousand years

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blowjob? more like nojob! #unemployed

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The reactions to The Batman part 2 announcements are always so funny on twt