elfchewtoy

[elfchewtoy]

I will continue posting in favour of there being fewer people like that

[elfchewtoy]

i feel like it should be fairly obvious to anyone who's seen a lot of transphobic rhetoric that trans people across the board are insulted and demonized for their perceived adjacency to femininity, masculinity, and androgyny. what gendered aspect the transphobe targets changes depending on what's most convenient to them. when trans men express frustration at people who say that they are rewarded for their masculinity, this is what is being talked about. an out and/or visibly trans person cannot escape from being punished for any performance of gender (or from no performance at all) because the goalpost is constantly moving

[elfchewtoy]

Great response by a cis man to being baited to speak over a trans man's lived experiences.

This is how you act like a real ally to trans people. It's that easy.

[elfchewtoy]

wanting to keep the bunny tail plug in while she breeds you should be a valid reason to get all three letters for vaginoplasty for free

[elfchewtoy]

respectfully i'm getting tired of people in the notes of my trans children's rights post assuming that i (as the OP) have never been medically neglected myself, was not homeschooled, don't know that youth liberation extends past the rights of trans kids (i... i said that in the original post, guys, please). i know statistically being homeschooled is uncommon but educational and medical neglect have 110% shaped my views around "parental rights." like i promise i'm not just some girl with a perfect childhood advocating for people who weren't as lucky. i went through it too

[elfchewtoy]

you're thinking of the distinction between gender-conforming and gender non-conforming (or maybe passing and not-passing?), not binary gender and nonbinary gender. i'm not talking about gender presentation here. binary trans people (that is, trans people whose gender identities are solely female or solely male) can be passing or non-passing, gender-conforming or gender non-conforming.

i agree that binary trans people receive negligible privilege from passing and being gender-conforming (if they do pass and conform to gender norms) (aka, they receive little, conditional ""cis"" privilege or none at all). but the idea you're putting forth that "binary" and "non-binary" are not gender identities that are experienced but rather power dynamics that describe how one relates to cis gender norms (of which the gender binary is a part) is exactly what i was criticizing and what leads to the sentiment that binary trans people "don't exist." we already have words to describe whether a person does not deviate from and is rewarded by cis gender and sex norms or deviates from and is not rewarded by them - cisgender and transgender. this redefinition of what the word "non-binary" means contributes to the erasure of people with actually non-binary gender identities and the misgendering of trans people who are solely women or solely men.

by the way "there's no such thing as a binary trans person" is an extremely transphobic sentiment and i cannot believe it has gained any traction as a genuine argument or that this is what passes as progressive queer theory nowadays

[elfchewtoy]

by the way "there's no such thing as a binary trans person" is an extremely transphobic sentiment and i cannot believe it has gained any traction as a genuine argument or that this is what passes as progressive queer theory nowadays

[elfchewtoy]

hello trans woman reading this. do not listen to those pro ana geeks

[elfchewtoy]

yeah yeah new bottoming book yeah yeah theduchy.com but i actually need you to read about ethical subjectivism before you engage in kink discourse

[elfchewtoy]

y'all know that whole left-brained/right-brained thing is fake right? and the "brain fully develops at age 25" thing? and the "we only use 10% of our brains" thing? yeah they're all complete horseshit please yell at anyone who says them

[elfchewtoy]

sure, if a post that was originally about X has turned into a multiple-reply-long thread about Y instead, i completely understand the frustration. but some of the stuff you people refer to as "derailing" is like, someone outside your demographic saying "i've gone through this too :(" in the tags. not even as an actual addition to your post… just in the tags.

i don't know, i feel like we could all serve to be less hostile to others for simply trying to reach out and commiserate. "you could never understand what i'm going through" is a very 14-year-old way of navigating the world (no offense to 14 year olds, i was there once too), and saying this in response to someone telling you they do understand because they've gone through the same thing is essentially just blocking out your ears and going "NUH-UH!"

is your post being "derailed" or is another marginalized person trying to provide solidarity and *gasp* let you know that you're not alone in your struggle?

[elfchewtoy]

is your post being "derailed" or is another marginalized person trying to provide solidarity and *gasp* let you know that you're not alone in your struggle?

[elfchewtoy]

sorry, it's been a while since i've been involved in fiction discourse, but hasn't the whole "fiction doesn't affect reality" argument always been a strawman of proshippers by antis? i don't think any of us ever actually believed that. it was derived from the antiship slogan "fiction affects reality," which is basically true but was also used to insinuate that dark fic would result or was already resulting in an increase in actual abuse cases (or a nebulous "normalization" of such abuse). to my knowledge, antis then started saying that proshippers believed the opposite - that "fiction doesn't affect reality" - but that's not true. afaik proshippers spent an excessive amount of time trying to convince people that this was not literally what they believed.

again, things might have changed since i was active in that community. maybe the new wave of discoursers picked it up and started using it in earnest? but at least in 2018-2022ish this was not a thing that anti-censorship folks were actually saying.

The idea that art has absolutely no impact on reality is just so stupid I’m sorry. Like it takes two minutes of studying the history of literature to figure out that people are influenced by the things they read and watch and look at.

Art is shaped by culture and it also shapes culture. Yes people can tell fiction from reality but fiction also in its own way shapes reality.

[elfchewtoy]

I am baffled that the hatred of trans men and mascs has spread so much that it's to the point a cisgender perisex white man is comfortable telling trans men of color that we're wrong about our own experiences while still calling himself an ally.

[elfchewtoy]

heyyyy teeny tiny favor to ask. can we stop pretending like every nonbinary person is either transmasc or transfem? you can’t just say transmasc or transfem and pretend like you’re including nonbinary people. that’s just.. that’s just another binary. it’s not even another binary really, it’s just the same binary but reframed around trans people instead of cis people.

some of you so-called progressives seem to be really uncomfortable with considering anything outside of the typical gender binary or even saying the word nonbinary in any conversation about gender and honestly I think that’s a you problem that you just have to get over. if you want to have any meaningful discussion about gender you’re going to have to think about nonbinary people too actually. sorry.

[elfchewtoy]

gently requesting that people writing posts that are primarily about transandrophobia but mention transmascs (who may or may not be nonbinary) once or twice reconsider tagging their posts #exorsexism. most of the exorsexism tag is filled with general transandrophobia, tme/tma, and transmasc/transfem discourse and it's disheartening to see a space that is supposed to be for nonbinary people get overrun with binaristic posts that don't so much as mention the existence of people who are outside of that binary.

exorsexism is not just "transphobia that happens to nonbinary people." exorsexism is the systematic erasure of and aggression towards any gender that is not solely male or female, and this includes multigender, agender, neutrois, aporagender/maverique, and xenogender folks. the frameworks of transandrophobia (anti-transmasculinity) and transmisogyny (anti-transfemininity) do not exclude nonbinary people by default, and you don't need to add an extra tag to signal that (some, feminine- or masculine-aligned) nonbinary people are included. in practice, all this overtagging does is push discussion of nonbinary oppression and erasure out of the tag for discussion of nonbinary oppression and erasure.

[elfchewtoy]

Non passing trans men don't benefit from misogyny whatsoever, besides possibly on the internet. If they are seen as a woman in someone's eyes, especially legally, they do not benefit from it. If you are not seen as a man by society, regardless of if you are or not, you do not benefit from misogyny.

It's that fuckin simple.