Stay Hopeful, Humble and Hungry
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We looked inside some of the posts by elfreek and here's what we found interesting.
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trying to get into the mindset of any given American period and trying to write for it is a surefire way to give yourself a psychosis
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i thing ive found difficult to square with conceptualizing a Delta Green campaign is saying something using old stories, theres like no point in just using lovecrafts work as is without saying something. You end up perpetuating harmful ideas at best and looking like a fucked mother fucker at worst
I keep honing on the idea of 70s paranoia and the break down of "wholesome American spirit" you see in media post manson family and JFK assassination but as compelling as that is to me it always seems to be the warm up act to the enormous, multi armed devil that is post 9/11 american the expansion of the alphabet agencies.
like the core of it to me is I like the idea of giving the players the near unlimited freedom to act that comes with having an FBI badge in the 60s/70s and encouraging bad behavior. I thrive on you abusing power and the character making life worst for everyone around them but the expansion of powers and the NSA specifically represent such an incredible unknowable monster that it's hard to ignore.
#maybe ill go with that multipart 3 era campaign after all#ultimately i think my hangup comes from the fact that I think the 50-70s is more aesthetically compelling then the 90s-10s#i like the pulp that comes with the project bluebook/JFK Domed Era#the lack of computerization is also a big factor for me#I like the ambiguity and the fog of war#it allows both sides to do some unaccountable shit#and really practice some tradecraft#86 was the machine gun ban#imagine all the shit you could get up to with a pen and an imagination back in 62#if you were forward thinking enough you could have a cache of automatic ar-15s before the us army adopts them
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theres also the case of ryuujin as caretaker rather then deity even though they the closest thing that world had to a god other then the planet.
i dont know if its cynicism about my own cultural upbringing or fascination with the idea of kami but I really like the idea of gods that are there and you can just go talk too. yell at even.
#Lumi was utterly benevolent to the point of putting her body and mandate on the line but at the same time she was incapable of stepping#aside without abiding by her programing#there needed to be a specticle and a story#not a calm negotiation for the welfare of all#all while professing that she cared for her charges and wouldn't take any of their lives
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i dont know if its cynicism about my own cultural upbringing or fascination with the idea of kami but I really like the idea of gods that are there and you can just go talk too. yell at even.
#astrae in my fabult campaign would be th egold standard#bc you can just go talk to her and ask for her help#and she'll help you in exchange for you comitting to her death cult#bc she wants to wake a sleeping god body and shape it into a being of complete compassion by making the suffering in the world#unignorable to it#i really like reaching out through time and space to grab more meat for the grinder#i should improve her visuals#rn shes just got a blacked out face bc i hate how face turned out#i should give it more texture
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at some point i would like to write something thats like, drawn from the cultural cache of british mythology and not the refracted JRPG tinged, kojiki fascinated stuff that i pump out now but everything seems to converge on 90s raves, abandoned geodesic domes and horrid fae molly. maybe this will be my utaware
#can you tell ive got bedrock memories of realizing that i was a human in the millenium dome and the eden project?#its hard not to listen to TSOL/BoC or even Orbital's Brown Album and not get sucked into that madness#Lush 3.1/3-2 has a morning after an elven rave feeling#i think im coming to the conclusion that i dont think i could be satisfied with a regular setting#by that i mean pulling from the existing titans#as much i can do that while avoiding the background radiation#im already cooked by elf love
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leaving messages for someone you know is dead but cant bring yourself to accept was one of Amy's master strokes tbh
#the functional dairy and glimpse into her head space while reenforcing the fact shes a coward and not exactly all their was so good#i happened upon the track that inspired it again and its still a bit of a wipeout
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i think the mythic is the right place for me, theres enough room for me to move poetic while still making meaning
#i think about that stanza from Kakawin Bhāratayuddha i was shown#something like "the darkness clears revealing an ocean of blood/the corpses of elephants and horses form the corals/arrows the seaweed/thus#it an opus of heros with a thirst for revenge#song to me is the epitome of myth#its the primary way of transmiting legendbefore mass media#and music has power#like ar tonelico suggests it is straight up magic#maybe ill pull a dark horse and just run runequest
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I like to think im honest with alot of the writing i do and ideas i present but i can never bring myself to write something purely fantasy, its always gotta be Sci-fi to some degree hidden or otherwise. I've got trouble being earnest about things without bringing out the technological ethics questions. Its a real bad habit of mine that id like to correct or at least address at some point
#ive got an obsession with the treatment of the other and weapons of mass destruction#The ryuujin were always a nuke allegory but theyre also are like#a moderately buried metaphor for disability fatalism#its not something id bring up but their self-destructive tendencies and insistance that they arent human mirror alot of my frustrations wit#how able bodied people talk about effort in relation to living with disability#their insistance on their biology being different doesnt change the fact their people#but it does mean they operate in a completely different way to humans#and the more you deny that and insist theres not a difference the more they try and bend themselves into human shapes until they snap#to some extent MemZoe is playing on that too but more with the perceptions of the other#with how the NPCs of the game are basically human and how the players differ in mentality in part to their immortality#theres much more to say but we havent gotten their yet#:3c)
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oh no, i can feel an older version of a characters voice full of bile and disgust taking shape
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im deeply invested in the concept of compression and release when it portraying eerie shit and creating an "other world". Having to go from regular landscape through some kind of gate or threshold then into the the weird environemnt is so necessary to me.
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yknow thinking on it i think Lemesia was retired with only one of the four world ending dragons accounted for.
#union didnt find their production facilities either#the whole thing is modeled to be loosely parallel to the invasion of iraq and the chain of unforced errors that followed#mostly because i think examining one of the biggest failures in empire policy in human history is worthwhile#and i think its extra funny to base union on america#as well its mad funny to me to imagine a generation kill type scenario for conscripts having to square off against literal fantasy weapons#and the potential to be strafed by an honest to god dragon
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i really do think id want to run delta green at some point
#its such a 180 to how i usally operate#i usually errr on the side of caution when it comes to fucking up PCs usually with a few points of clear escalation and clear off ramps#before i bite#but with delta green im encouraged to give everyone a blindfold and tell them to stamp around in a minefield#despite the anime obsession i am a cold war nerd#especially the paranoia and the occult that kinda gathers around that kind of t hing
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Its finally fucking done, Evertale has finally fucking launched
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i was rolling this japanese fantasy thing ive been entertaining around for a bit and i cant seem to seperate it into a purely fanatasy thing. Theres always some scifi-ish element that sneaks it way in
#Fuck it. This is now a setting thats deeply interested with the nature of kami#and everyone looks like they've stepped out of 90/00s high concept music video with Mariko Mori on costume design#its very ff10 but if it were set in 7th century japan rn and thats not exactly what i want#if i were gonna take this route id go back to roots and say#im deeply obsessed with the political situation of early japanese history#all the accounts are yamatai tinged bc theyre the progenitors to dynasty that eventually wrote the history#and then within that is nested the politics of Empress Genmei who was trying to bolster her own legacy and set the winds that empresses#would be more widely accecpted by the establishment by linking her self back to Queen Himiko#its all such a dense and hedge of motivations#if i were to write this readability would be a real big concern for me#a real naming scheme would be sorely needed#slowly begining to accept that scifi is the prism that everything is refracted through for me#the alternative take here i play it completely straight and write something historical and make serveral of my close friends compliciate i#in a war drama turned supernatural horror
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I was mostly thinking about the notion of heaven invading earth because they deemed their lessers (kami of the land) to be rebellious as if heaven has any right to cross the boundary and breath on this rock
im so very close to trying a SciShinto thing again, i can feel the pieces falling into place but i still need my twist
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im so very close to trying a SciShinto thing again, i can feel the pieces falling into place but i still need my twist
#i had aliens and the nature of god at the core of my last one#which was cool but it was half baked#I'm a bit thankful it blew up on the launch pad#it sucks to lose something but im glad the canvas is still clean#really i shouldnt even be thinking about this given that ive got a game thats so close to ocming to life i can taste it in the air#maybe if i snap ill take on a second game#though really any 2ndary game should be something more story lite#i had an idea for a lancer dungeon crawler but who knows#that system has issues if you're doing anything remotely non-combat related#thermatic scale is also hard#mechs kinda inherrently limit the story you can tell especialyl if oyu want anything remotely clandestine#its hard to miss the 5m shuddering piece of machinery waddling your way#delta green might be an option but id have to really unshackle the cruelty and that sounds really difficutl
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alright time to take the rest of the year off and come back to Memoria Zoetrope at the start of next year
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