elysianode

[elysianode]

andito pa rin ako.

let’s get this straight—madaling sabihin na mahal mo yung isang tao, pero ano ba kasi yung mga hakbang para panatilihing alam nila na mahal mo sila?

welcome sa first installment ng series na ito! hi, ako yung host mo, si fall. 🤏😊 ang paboritong boses na gamit ni aling maya kapag need niyang mag-sulat ng ganito. ako yung nakikita mo madalas kapag nagiinteract siya online and sa mga org gcs kasi super extroverted k nmn tlg.

ayaw niyang i-sugarcoat kaya saakin niya pinagawa???? this girl.

hindi ko na papahabain pa ito, pero definitely magiging mahaba yung content. so!!! sit back, relax. this one’s going to concentrate more about what you CAN DO imbes na mag-ayos ng mistakes. tee bee eych, we’ve had too much of that. chill muna! here’s the list nalang para mas madali na.

siguro mag-umpisa muna tayo sa pinakamadaling topic. what do you have to do ba kasi to make a girl overthink less and feel less threatened? other than her working on it duhh.

today, we’re discussing: how to make a girl feel she’s special!

show through actions PAIRED with words. mostly words.

honestly, maya is like any other girl. she feels special the most kapag materialistic ka! JOKE LANG, ano ba... but like any other lady, she glows best when you let her know she’s the best and actually mean it!! isa sa love languages niya ay gift giving and words of affirmation. honestly, madali lang naman kasing pasayahin si maya with this. honestly, isang reminder, isang paalala, just tell her what you’re doing and everything! it honestly lessens the overthinking for someone with anxious attachment like miss maya and the more you do it, the less she’ll actually need it. it’s hard work in the beginning, but also, it helps her understand na wala naman talagang malisya. not that there ever WAS, but alam mo naman na girlfriend mo... medyo may topak din, you know?

plan a date~ once in a while lang.

hindi mo alam kung gaano talaga nakakatuwa mag-date!!! i think this will be more relevant if college na kayo, but a date once in a while will be super nice and hindi dapat siya yung nagplaplano, kailangan ikaw. legit ito. recently kasi she feels like she’s the one planning all of your dates and minsan gusto lang niya talaga na ikaw din mag-initiate. hindi rin naman kailangan ikaw entirely, puwedeng you surprise her and take her somewhere she’s been mentioning for so long. keep it into consideration talagaaaaa. she has a notes list of everything you love, of everywhere you want to visit, and kung anong gusto mong gawin with her. hindi naman niyang ineexpect na you do the same, but between you and me? she lowk hopes you do. honestly, hipokrito rin iyan siya e. but legit ito—things like these go a long way. marerealise niyang you care about her a lot when you remember these things fr fr.

show how much you care more.

i think medyo pinaganda ko masyado title. it’s more like: be overwhelmingly selfish?? kasi hindi naman pangit selfishness. if you ask me, being selfish has always been about wanting a desire and wanting the best for it. AS MAYA HAS SAID KAY ALFRED BEFORE!!!! love is inherently selfish because it’s rooted in the idea that love itself comes from the fact that you “want” someone. everything goes back to what you want selfishly for that person, even in moments that you’re selfless. galing niya mag-sulat dito tbh. anyways, it goes back to the idea na you want someone to be happy. it’s about what YOU want!!!! and she wants you to be more selfish about her hindi yung puros let her have free will ganito ganiyan. honestly ure better than most men kasi sila super possessive pero at least u give her free will, e pero she doesn’t want that naman... she wants you to tell her na miss mo siya or wtv. or like you want her around. or like gusto niyang you decide something for once when it comes to her kasi sobrang gusto niyang malaman:

1. anong gusto mo

2. what you want her to do.

3. just want her!!!!!!

super naririndi na siya minsan kapag puro ka nalang you deserve better gan2 ganiyan e girl gusto lang naman kasi niyang you keep her because she wants to keep you!!! sinabi na nga niya sa nanay niya na cinoconsider niya up baguio for you and her mother agreed... i mean kasi gusto rin tumira ni yna sa elyu and mas malapit siya saksnila if gan’on, But that’s besides the point!!!! just want her wholeheartedly and don’t let her go. she adores the freedom, but not this WAY!!! ayaw niya sabihin ito pero she’s been jealous of other guys minsan telling them na they take their gfs into a lot of consideration. honestly, mali rin niya iyon for relying on other relationships e iba dynamic niyo, but she’s been yearning for it honestly. like, suuuuuper yearn nakakabaliw din marinig boses niya slight. just be super selfish about her, okay? in your own very beautiful way. huwag mo siya pakawalan. hindi puwedeng siya lang kakapit, bae. i know she likes to say this, but don’t treat her as an equal. she only likes being treated as an equal by people kasi feeling niya she deserves less, but honestly you know and i know she deserved more. let her have that more and she will reciprocate tenfold.

anxiety is a BITCH!

kung tutuusin, sobrang anxious na bata ni maya aella. YES! including aella. kapag nagooverthink na sila, just assure. honestly, walang ibang makakapagpigil niyan other than assurance. she can handle herself fine and hours later maaayos niya na iyan, but a simple paragraph can go a long way. backreader pa naman si maya. babalik-balikan niya iyan and the more she sees it, she’ll remember it and it will stick, like everything you’ve said. maaalala niya talaga iyan, kaya nga minsan hindi siya humihingi ng assurance kahit need niya lol kasi overly reliant iyan sa old words mo. just try to keep her reminded and it will go a looooong way. even when nagaaway kayo, sobranv importante na naaalala niyo pa rin gawin iyan ( YES, including you, maya ) kasi a simple reminder goes a loooooong way.

keep in mind: hindi ibig sabihin ay hinihingi niyang gawin mo siyang sentro ng mundo mo. gusto lang talaga niya maramdam na mahal mo pa rin siya despite this and you’re not doing it out of obligation, but actually wanting to. gusto lang niya maramdaman na iniisip mo siya sa bawat desisyon mo. honestly, mga bata pa kayo and you guys deserve to enjoy, but also you guys want long term, so work on something worth being long term.

and also, kung may problema ka sa sinabi ko, go lang. i’m willing to listen, pero si maya na mag-respond tamad na me. 🤏😝

honestly, sinasabi niyang high maintenance siya pero for me hindi naman??? ang hinihiling lang naman niya bare minimum??? assurance, comfort, and someone to listen. pero maybe ako lang nagiisip n’on. sorry beh.

anyways, iyon lang naman ( ata ) need kong i-mention. kung may extra, si maya na bahala.

salamat sa oras mo and kaya niyo iyan!!! mahal niyo isa’t isa at kung pipiliin niyo pa rin mahalin ang isa’t isa kahit ano pang pag-subok itapon sainyo ng tadhana, aabot kayo sa europe at magtatanim kayo ng patatas sa bakuran niyo.

good luck!

i love you — maya.

[elysianode]

hi, von.

i’ve always considered your best friend’s idea of making letters for things that are important—such as emotions and the likes—to be one of the smartest things a person has ever done. you get to get it all out, get to express it, get to even talk about it as much as you can.

unlike your friend though, i’m not really writing this with the intention of talking to you or telling you about my day. i already do that with you all the time whenever i have the time to. i get to express it to you in its most vulnerable form because you’re the only one who’s really allowed to. for that, you’re lucky.

what i don’t tell you though are the times when i swallow my own heart down my chest. i still tell you the truth! that’s the thing. i’ve learned to be vulnerable with you and accept things as they are. you’ve made yourself so important to me and someone i truly can not bring myself to consider as anything but someone that guides me to peace; you’ve always been my own personal star.

but i also know that i have a lot of emotions and i don’t really tell you about them all the time. it’s for the sake of you not getting drained too fast and also for me to learn how to be more independent about them. trust me, i have come a long way.

nonetheless, this doesn’t change the fact that really, i sometimes forget to tell you things.

it’s usually in the moments where i argue with myself. yung tipong hindi ako sigurado kung sa’yo ba ako galit o sa sarili ko. madalas nakadepende sa sitwasyon kung totoo nga bang puso ko ang nadudurog o isip ko lamang. ngunit kahit alin pa man iyan diyan, iisa lang naman ang katotohanan:

gusto kong mag-tulungan tayo. that’s why i’ve formed this... whole new system.

every half month or so, i’ll be sending you a letter coming from this tumblr blog. it’ll be filled with all of the things i forgot to tell you and all of the things that i feel like we should both remember at all times. some of them might become repetitive and some of them we might not have noticed in the beginning.

it’ll act as some sort of survival guide. the reason it’s “every half month or so” is because it gives us both enough time to reflect on an argument or understand both perspectives by the time that time may come. it also gives me the chance to see you better. it gives me the perspective to see my own views unbiased and also observe your own views and be able to criticise them accordingly.

“sunshine, isn’t that something we do during our talks anyways?” sure... but like i said, i have a tendency to swallow things down most especially when we argue or have a misunderstanding. my brain justifies you and i need to beat it up ( metaphorically ) and that only happens when i have finally reflected and realise that i should have said this or that!

and this tumblr blog gives me that exact chance.

this won’t just focus on current experiences though. it’ll also mention certain things that you could’ve done different... we could’ve done different.

sooooo, yeah. maybe it might come off as a little pretentious that i’m copying something aaron has exactly done, but i want you to know i’m too much of a plagiariser not to /j.

but most importantly, i want you to know that of everything i want in the world, it’s for you to improve and become better. i want you to be someone that can say you loved wholeheartedly and that one day you’ll finally be able to look back on our conversation from before and realise that all you ever really needed was just a little more fight in you.

and besides, didn’t you tell me you wanted to give justice to me and learn how to do so? while i did suggest speaking to matt, i think some things should come from me first.

you can look back on all the letters i’ll be sending in the future if there’s something you feel like you need, you must address, and so-so. like i said, a survival guide, something for us to hold onto.

so, i’ll see you in two weeks?

and if you feel like something i’ve said requires criticism, go for it. i’m willing to listen and understand as long as you listen and understand me, too.

here’s to helping you learn how to fight whilst loving in the midst of it all.

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your sun,

maya aella.