emetoharpy

[emetoharpy]

this little ass weekend. im so mad like why did it go by so fast?

[emetoharpy]

you should absolutely go as a dead version of the queen it will make you the sexiest person in the room, there’s no such thing as too soon

[emetoharpy]

College is wild because it really isn’t about intelligence or the ability to understand the material at all. It’s literally just a test of executive function and abled-ness. I had good attendance. I participated in class discussions…possibly to an annoying extent, I got A’s on my tests. When we did group work in classes, it was usually me knowing the answers and everyone else just writing them down from my paper.

But I watched those same people who copied my in-class work and who barely passed tests and who only understood the material enough to regurgitate it, not to expand on it, graduate while I flunked out. Why? Because I didn’t have the executive function to do homework outside of class. That’s it.

[emetoharpy]

The prosthesis is called "anti-robot" because it is not automated and is 100% controlled by the person inside through an exoskeleton interface. That's why it's called a mech, not a robot.

[emetoharpy]

I was in line at Aldi and this girl with two toddlers in front of me had her card declined and she looked so fucking sad and said “let me call my husband real quick” and it was only 18 dollars, so I just paid for it, and she was very sweet and then as she walked off, the lady behind me said `”You know that was probably a scam, right?” and like, even if it was, like what a sad fucking scam, right? 18 dollars at the Aldi. If you’re “scamming” me for some Tyson chicken and apple juice and cauliflower, then just take my fucking money. 

“A scam” people are fucking wild.  

[emetoharpy]

“Oh that animal doesn’t LIKE you it just TOLERATES you” …..So? If that’s the most a non-social organism can feel towards you isn’t that just as special an honor as whatever it is you think affection means??

[emetoharpy]

Jason & Friends

[emetoharpy]

Oldest medical amputation on record was performed on a Stone Age child in Borneo 31,000 years ago

About 31,000 years ago, a skilled prehistoric surgeon cut off the lower leg of a child hunter-gatherer in Borneo. Now, archaeologists have concluded that this ancient surgery is the earliest medical amputation on record.

The skill of the Stone Age surgeon was admirable; the patient went on to live an additional six to nine years after the surgery, a radiocarbon dating performed by researchers of the individual’s tooth enamel revealed, according to a study published online Wednesday (Sept. 7) in the journal Nature.

“It was a huge surprise that this ancient forager survived a very serious and life-threatening childhood operation, that the wound healed to form a stump and that they then lived for years in mountainous terrain with altered mobility,” study co-author Melandri Vlok, a bioarchaeologist and postdoctoral research associate at the University of Sydney,“ said in a statement. ”[This suggests] a high degree of community care.“ Read more.

[emetoharpy]

I recently found out why my mom would never sleep around me when I was a kid. Like she’d never let herself take naps or sleep if I was awake, ever. Or if she did, she would lock her bedroom door. So when I was 6, I was asleep in my bed in the middle of the night when I hear a loud bang, like a pot being dropped and come out to the living room to see my mom standing by the window, with just a huge pile of spaghetti all over the sill, and a pot on the ground, and I ’m like “Are you gonna eat all that?” And ya’ll she get’s BIG MAD and yells at me and chases me to my room but then a little while later a bunch of cops show up and ask me a bunch of random ass questions about my art? Like this one cop lady keeps asking me to draw dragons for her?! And they seem mad as hell

I didn’t want to get arrested so I just never asked my mom for spaghettis after that. Lesson, learned. Don’t ask mom for spaghettis or she’ll call the damn police on you. 

So I have this memory in my head, and it goes unquestioned until I say it outload for the first time a few months back and as soon as I say the words “When I was six, my mom called the cops on me for asking for spaghettis” My adult logic slams into place and is like “Hang on. Your mother definatly did not call the police on a 6 year old for asking for spaghetti.” 

So obviously that’s not what really went down. I call up my mom to tell her how I remember it and on top of her figuring out why her kid has always been really cagey around spaghettis for the last 3 decades she tells me what really happened. 

So on that night, a man tried to break into our house through the front window. It was just my mom, and her kids so she did what she felt she had too and shot him in the head. He’d been wearing a helmet, which landed on the floor under the window.

Now I just want ya’ll to put yourselves in my moms shoes for a minute here. This woman has just taken a human life. The trauma of that- the instant agony, the panic, the guilt, the fear- all of it hitting her at once, her only solace the knowledge that her children are safe. She protected her daughters. No matter the cost to her soul- her children are safe.

Then she looks up and sees her six year old staring at the inside of this mans head before saying “Are you gonna eat all that?” 

[emetoharpy]

the way to my heart is by telling me ur tummy hurts 💖

[emetoharpy]

hey if you teach your parrot to say ‘parrot’ it’s probably as close as you’ll get to owning a pokemon

[emetoharpy]

man i hate thrift store scalpers so fucking much man. dude whos in here every single g-ddamn day buying shit to resell bought the cassette deck i wanted before my shift ended. i know hes not gonna use it. he said as much he just buys shit to resell

if you buy up all the good shit at thrift stores to resell i legit kinda want u to die. get a real job. or no job. something other than this

[emetoharpy]

ian mckellen directed these movies actually

[emetoharpy]

I was cleaning out my computer and I found a bunch of screenshots of text posts from 2013-2014. The golden age of tumblr.

I take no credit for these posts.

[emetoharpy]

babe wake up new conspiracy theory just dropped

the moon landing was faked on the moon

[emetoharpy]

HR: if they work 40 hours a week u have to give them benefits

Big company: hmm okay. They shall work 39