emmy-leee

[emmy-leee]

My Garden Girl.

Forevermore.

💫

My last words to her:

“There’s a garden where you’re going,

and I’m gonna meet you there.”

She died purring in my arms. 6/23/25.

In her final days, I put my hand out next to her and she stretched her paw out next to me. I’m so glad we got that moment, and that I was able to snag the photo. She’s my best friend. Tough as nails. I’ve never seen her struggle with anything.

Seeing her struggle to breathe broke me.

The whole next day I was dreading going home after work. I knew the first time walking through the door was going to be the hardest one; without her zoomies, without our routine, without her parading me around the house showing me her food and all of her favorite things haha…

I drove home saying my prayers. I pulled in the driveway and took my aligning breaths. I got out and looked up to my porch:

I about fainted right there in the yard! I couldn’t believe it… it was surreal, like a dream. He looks just like her! Snipped ear and everything. Like he was waiting for me.

I’ve always fed all the neighborhood cats and this one showed up just like that.

I felt like Cat was giving me a little *wink* from beyond 💫

I went inside. Riding the high, feeling close to her. I got ready for bed. I lit her candle, crawled in and opened my laptop:

I was staring at her face and 1111✨

Eleven has always been my lucky number. She was 11 years old when she passed (I think).

I started bawling.

My heart opened and breathed.

I could literally hear her telling me she was okay and I was going to be too. I felt like she was thanking me for being such a good mom. Letting me know I gave her a good life and did everything I could; that I did everything right… and more.

The first thing I said to her every morning was, “we’re so lucky; we’re so lucky we found each other.” And I’m trying to hold onto that throughout this transition. I’m so lucky to have known her and that we got to share our lives with one another. She was there for me for some of the hardest times of my life (and vice versa). There’s a lot I don’t know I would have survived without her by my side.

We had such a special bond and she’s already finding ways to communicate with me from beyond the veil.

I’m so blessed and truly the luckiest girl in the world to get to call her my best friend.

Cat McKee “My Garden Girl”

Unknown (because she found me) - 6/23/25

Rest in your Garden baby

I’ll be there someday 🕊️

💫

Since then, Cat (and the kitty gods) have sent ALL the cats to the yard and I’m being loved on in immeasurable ways. They’re helping heal my heart everyday… sitting in all of Cat’s favorite spots, using her food bowls that have found a new home, and enjoying her abundance of catnip and cat-grass my yard has to offer 🪴

Meet Heart:

And Boy:

This has been biggest hole death has left in my life so far. I’ve lost people, friends and family, but she was my everyday constant. She was my routine. She was my garden girl.

Nothing will ever replace Cat or the bond we shared and I will miss her everyday… I miss her eyes. I miss them being the first thing I see every morning. I miss her standing guard while I do the dishes. I miss her pidder-padder up the stairs the second my feet hit the ground. I miss her squinty beggin’ eyes on me as I eat avocados and Cheerios (or literally anything lol). I miss her energy, her side-eye, her ‘no fux’ attitude and the side of me she brought out. And I miss the millions upon millions of other little things.

But I’d feel this pain over and over and over again if this is what it means to be her mom; getting to know her, and love her, and witness it all.

I carry her in my heart now.

Until we meet again baby 🫶🏼

[emmy-leee]

Dear God, I’m laying everything at Your feet... every dream, every plan, all my ambitions. Take them and mold them into something greater. Lead me and show me where to go (Proverbs 3:5-6). Close the doors that aren’t part of Your plan for me. I trust Your Holy Spirit to guide me every step of the way, to steer me clear and keep me safe. I can’t wait to see how You’ll work through me. May all I do bring You glory and draw me closer to You now and forever. In Jesus Name, amen.

[emmy-leee]

1111✨

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olivecooke

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1111✨

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ripple by shiyao miya

[emmy-leee]

June, 1936 : Journals of Anais Nin 1934-1939, volume 2. Original post format