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#6

These are my dying moments. I am writing a blog post, because, apparently I have a lot of time after consuming a toxic poison that should have killed me in mere minutes. But my spirit refuses to yield! I looked at the amazing, handsome Horatio, and knew that my court would be in safe hands. No, I’d never make him ruler though. Better to leave that to Fortinbras, whom I have never properly met and who has now invaded my country. He seems like a nice fellow and one keen for the job. Fortinbras is young and bold, and handsome, and I see myself in him. I never thought his attack would actually come. But alas, he exceeded my expectations for him and I am overall impressed. It’s sad that the moment he sees me I shall be dying on the floor. Oh well.

I am inexplicably proud of myself for killing Claudius. Finally, my father has been avenged. But at what cost? The death of my Mother. My Mother only ever wanted to protect me. I see it now. But she still had to die at the end, just like me. Oh, how the world was not meant for someone by the likes of me. I guess I felt everything too deeply. I guess people were simply not ready for the beauty that is me. As I lay here on the ground, I cannot help but reflect on my life. It was full of anger and anguish, but I feel as though I served my purpose.

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#5

Today, I have returned to Denmark. It is a somber environment. I had been trying to figure out why. I was in the graveyard, and suddenly I saw an entire entourage of people with a casket. Curious, I sneaked closer. It was definitely a noble funeral, but they were not giving the funeral rights they usually do. Then I saw Laertes, AND Gertrude…someone in my immediate circle has died.

And it was Ophelia.

I could not believe my eyes. How is it that the love of my life died and I did not know? How could I not feel that in the deepest parts of my soul? That the soul meant for my soul has departed from the earth? I would never again see the beautiful twinkle of her eyes (second only the twinkle in my mother’s eyes) or the tinkling of her laugh. How would I ever find companionship in a female again? All is lost and I cannot believe the state of the world. Ophelia was most everything to me. This is simply inexcusable and I have been wronged by the laws of nature. How could I have never gotten the chance to be with her? It seems like a cruel joke. It seems like Ophelia could crawl out of that casket at any second. If only I could have been there to be with her in her last moments. If only I could have held her hand as the life drained from her eyes. If only I could hear her last words…

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#4

I never thought I’d say this. But I have stabbed the wrong man. This has overall been a terrible day. I have truly failed my father. And I also killed a man who did not deserve to be killed. But maybe he did. Polonius was objectively awful anyway. But he was the father of the love of my life.

Oh well.

Maybe I should have waited before stabbing into the curtains. Oh, but I was SO sure it was Claudius! This is deeply unfortunate. And my Mother was so horrified. At least, my attempts at calming her down seemed to work. It seems she takes me very seriously now. Finally, someone sees how much of a menace I can be. But seeing my Mother so afraid of me did not sit well in my mind. She looked positively petrified. That saddened me. Don’t you see, Mother, that I would never hurt you? I would never touch a hair on your head. I am doing this all for father, Mother. I am avenging my family name and bringing ruin to the murderer Claudius.

Oh, but do not get me started on Claudius. I cannot believe that you, Mother, would commit an act of incest. I’ve always thought Mother to be the utmost form of love and sincerity. But here she is, being the exact opposite of those things. Poor father. He was much more handsome than Claudius and everyone knew it. Also, a better ruler. How could mother downgrade so badly?

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#3

I am so beyond embarrassed. I am beyond humiliated. I am a shell of a man. But I had to see her! I absolutely had to go to Ophelia’s chambers! While that could be considered inappropriate, I do not care! My love for her transcends social norms and I need her to know that. But I looked entirely disheveled. To think that my stockings were dirty and tattered! And that she saw that! Now I know I may have looked a bit shaken. But shouldn’t Ophelia look beyond that? I know our love is true….right? She is one of the only true friends I have, yet she did not look at all pleased to see me standing in her doorway. She looked almost afraid, even though she has known me for years! Surely she knows I can be a bit unpredictable….right? But I HAD to see her.

Recently, she has been avoiding my letters. She has been GHOSTING me. I do not understand why. We usually keep up our correspondence. I love to hear from Ophelia. And whenever I try to sit by her in court or ask her to tea, she always has something to do or she ignores me completely! I must have a reason for this behavior. It is tearing my heart to shreds with confusion. Oh Ophelia, how I wish to understand this situation! I long for us to regain our companionship level! It was one of the most important things in my life, especially now that…my father’s gone.

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#2

Never could I ever have imagined that I would see my father again. Yet there he was, in the shape of a ghastly apparition. I stood there, shocked, appraising his form. Hearing him speak was even more of a surprise! I could not rid the feeling that I had been duped, that this was some sort of witchcraft or trickery. But alas, this was my father, standing in all of his regal glory. I could not bear to see him so lifeless. After years of seeing him so full of vigor, seeing him now was like a blow to the gut. His eyes were empty, and they lacked the soul that seemed to always dwell there. Now, my father gave off something of an eternal sadness, and I could not help but be affected by it.

But my father gave me a purpose. A job, if you will. He was greatly wronged by my Uncle Claudius. And I shall have Claudius’ head for it. Finally, I have a reason to kill Claudius, as he was the murderer of my father. I always knew Claudius was awful. I knew it the moment he married my Mother. But to kill his own brother? Claudius is the lowest of the low. The scum of the earth. I cannot wait for the moment that my blade meets his twisted intestines. I will get to avenge my father and my mother and perhaps take the crown that is rightfully mine. Claudius, heed my warning: I am coming for you.

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#1

Today is one of Uncle Claudius’ first speeches as the new ruler of Denmark. I have never a loathed a day more in my life. Maybe I loathed the day we received word of my father’s death more, but Uncle Claudius’ coronation is simply despicable in my eyes. I see him up by the throne, sitting with my beautiful Mother. How he does not deserve to sit with her regal self! He is a poisonous, rotting shell of a man compared to her wondrous beauty. 

 I cannot believe she would ever agree to marrying someone by the likes of him. I would have been fine taking the throne. I’m sure she could have still served as my queen. I’m alright without getting married for the first few years if it means Mother with be with me. But alas, God is not in my favor. Now, Mother reclines in INCESTUOUS SHEETS, and every time I see Uncle Claudius’ face I can only see the smirking snake within him. Oh, how I despise him! He is my least favorite person on a day to day basis. He speaks like he is a replacement for my father. How I wish father was still alive. Then this mess would be rid of and I would no longer be a depressed mess of a person. How am I expected to continue on living in this terrible turn of events?

At least I still have Horatio and Ophelia. In this twisted world, I at least have some companions to turn to. This may be my darkest hour. Claudius is taking over every detail of my life and I could NOT be more unhappy.

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sad boi hours started right when I first thought of the incestuous sheets :(

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i have a lot to SAY. What would you have EXPECTED.

guess I can’t please everyone, can I?

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throwback to when claudius literally married my mom seconds after my father died haha. this is what he said.

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why does the world have to separate young adults into “those who don’t want to murder their uncles” and “those who do.” Society is so UNCOOL tbh. 

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LISTEN I NEED A LOT OF PLANNING OK.