enigmaticdenouement-blog

[enigmaticdenouement-blog]

First Day of Third Year College

Kinda confusing honestly. This kind of day is like a combination of cringes and unknown kind of emotions. Add some existential crisis kind of things too...

[enigmaticdenouement-blog]

I literally want to scream what I’m feeling inside...Alot of confusions are running through my mind. Am I still happy with my course?arrrgh

[enigmaticdenouement-blog]

"Kaya lab na lab kita kc e" - colleenjan112016 Sweet colleen is sweet

[enigmaticdenouement-blog]

Share your insides.

[enigmaticdenouement-blog]

Share your insides.

[enigmaticdenouement-blog]

^They should be punished.

Share your insides.

[enigmaticdenouement-blog]

World of Cringe

Here I am. Fingers are pressed to the keys of the keyboard.Reminiscing every single detail about my existence using the extent of my mental capacity. Having some cringe attacks whenever I remember those embarrassing moments of my existence that I can never travel back and make things right. But, all those irrelevant mistakes made me who I am today.            Starting this autobiography is like introducing myself to a new person.Before I begin, I would like to remind you that this is the story when I was a kid and there are many irrelevant events that I made in my childhood. Hi, my name is Karennina Cassandra Labitan Angeles and this is my story.My nickname is Karen. I was born in the Philippines –so I am a Filipino– at Mary Immaculate Hospital on the 29th of September 1997.Which makes me 18 years old now (2015).I have brown colored eyes and they told me that people with brown eyes are very creative.Carmen Bernardo,which is grandma,is the one who took care of my Josefina, my mom, in the hospital when my Ronaldo,my father, is working. My antagonistic kind of name came from my mom and my grandma.My name Karennina came from a television series in the Philippines called “Anna Karenina” which is my grandma’s favorite television show and it’s making me cringe now.Just as my name Cassandra, my mom got it from her favorite American movie labeled “Cassandra”and I have no idea what movie and series are those. I’ve tried to search Cassandra on Google, it’s a horror film. And I’m not quite sure about my mom –please tell me mom that it’s not– that it is a horror film. They also want to add “Angelicka” in my name, especially my grandpa. If that’s going to happen,my majestic hands might be suffering through damnation.That’s why filling out forms are my worst enemy. I have two siblings.My older brother and my sister.They both have an introverted kind of personality which is slightly adverse to mine.Well, I cannot consider if I am an introvert or an extrovert.Is there such thing as exintrovert?No?Fine.We graduated nursery and kinder from Little Angel’s Pre-school.But my brother did take Pre-school there.I remember that the first day of nursery, all of them are crying to their mom.It’s like I’m surrounded by huge a drama class and I was just there.Sitting in silence.Observing why in the world are they crying?Until I realized the answers to my question.My mom told me that I am different–not endangered– from my brother and my sister because I am the only one of her children that didn’t cry during my nursery period.Well, I’m the person who likes someone to talk to, so I approach some of my classmates.My favorite period is our P.E. class where you can just play around and play with toys because who wants to be stressed at academics? I was very proud and nervous when I was assigned to sing the National Anthem during our graduation.I also received the Best in Reading award.When I was 7 or 9 years old, I was really into fantasies.That’s why I like Barbies.I also love supernatural powers that caused my creative mental side to believe in it.That’s why whenever I watch Barbie movies and Harry Potter, I wholly believe that my hands and my body has a spellbinding kind of potential.And, I literally throw a massive stone to my playmate because I thought that she also have potential powers that can make her do something like in the movie “The Matrix”.But I was wrong, she ended up crying and her forehead has a scratch on it. And, I ended up being scolded by my father.There is also another scenery in my life when I was 10,I guess.I was really into this Barbie Fairytopia movie and made myself believe that I have that kind of fairy wings that will make my body be capable of flying.So, I decided one day, that I should jump in a rapid moving tricycle– yes, Karen is a genius– that made my mental creativity believe that fairies will come and join me to their majestic world.And I ended up not capable of flying.I was wishing to put myself in a box of shame when that I happened. I was honestly,truly, embarrassed. Because I’m not the only person inside the tricycle,there are my 2 neighbors too.That’s the reason why my brain is telling me not to believe in fairytales now.And those are the highlights of my childhood memories.Okay, cringes crawling over my body again.When I was at 5th grade, I met an introvert girl named Alethea.We have the same interests and it is High School Musical and also Camp Rock.We became really good friends that turned into best friends.I was so addicted to High School Musical and I almost spent 25 thousand pesos by buying those crappy hsm related things.Without her, I guess, I can never step to highschool.She gave me hope and she’s like my lucky charm.Even though that we are away from each other now, our friendship will never die.As you have read, most are bad memories because good memories are likely to fade than bad memories.Because bad memories gives you lessons in your life that serves as a guide to your new adventure.            In this paragraph, I welcome you to the world of my teenage existence.I can never say if High school is the best part of my existence.Hence, I am still continuing my journey.High school is like a world of gates where you have to choose which path you belong.Do you belong to the rebels?lovers?nerds?geeks? or the average? Well, I guess I’ve chosen the average side.I was in a circle of friends. It’s me,Arly,Carla and Nestlen. We are the super friends during our 1st year of High School.I’ve known Carla since grade 4. But we frequently approach each other in our elementary days.We both knew each other more during our first year of high school. There is no second that our circle of friends doesn’t laugh or tease each other.We also had those friendship bracelets ,but in the end, we’re like separated from different continents.We don’t have any communications to each–except carla– other.Just like a bubble that pops.Well, honestly, 1st year of high school is one of my favorite teenage memory.I want to say this in caps lock but I don’t have the guts to do that.My second year and my fourth year of high school is probably the worst year of my life.I just don’t understand those people and teachers around my psycho babble that is always annoying my entire existence.Although I met some important people during those days, but they are still ruining it.Carla and I became classmates again in our third year of high school. Third year was a blast. It was my most favorte teenage year of my life. I felt unity and acceptance in our section.It’s like a gigantic gate that is open for you.You can be yourself and you can express yourself.We are able to create another circle of friends. It’s me,Carla,Andrea,Charizze,Joanne,Jack,Ian,Rvin,Diana,Marl,Noemi,Janelle and Kamille.Whenever we hang out, we also invite others in our class and they’re always prepared for that.They don’t experience they so-called “Out of Place”.It is where you felt like an air whenever you’re with them. As time goes by, only the five of us (me,Carla,Joanne,Kamille and Charizze)stood strong friendship until our 4th year of high school. Even though we’re not classmates–except for Carla again– We’re still hanging out after classes.We have a groupname called “Minions”.Oh my God I feel like vomiting now. it’s very immature but we’re happy about that weird name.I remember that we had a pet named “Junior”.I made junior using my necktie.I did just cut the small piece of the necktie’s point. They thought that I named it Junior because my “ex-crush had a junior on his name. Oh God it’s really annoying.On my birthday, they made my gorgeous eyes cry. Who the hell in this world wouldn’t cry if their friends are incomplete in his/her birthday celebration?But,those persons who vanished and the reason why I cried(Joanne and Charizze) during my birthday,surprised me and handed me some flowers. A weird looking flower and a symbol for hospitality which is called Anthurium. They also had a second surprise for me in the arcade area. I called it the box of memories.When you took off the lid of it, the box will collapse by itself and it contains our happy photos.And also my ex-crush. In my senior year, I was able to attend our graduation ball. They say that it’s a night to remember but for me it’s more like a nightmare.I was wearing a long blue gown,3 inches of high heels and a crown.It was really embarrassing because I have a tomboy kind of personality.The part that I hate is having a partner to dance. It’s is required for us to dance and I have no choice because I am very near to the gate of nightmare(door to the dancing hall)and I ended up dancing with a short person. I don’t know him but when you look at us, we’re like positive and negative signs. Yes, you’re right. We’re absolutely opposite.After those romantic dances–which makes my whole existence as an embarrassment–  there is now the party dances. It’s the only thing that I enjoyed during the night of embarassment.And this is all the high light of my teenage years.                                This is College.Welcome to the Gates of Damnation where we students struggle for survival and existential crisis.The place where professors are like fallen angels that will make you suffer with love.Really, really bad. So here I am. Always in front of a computer. Doing assignments and researches given by our angelic professors. I continue my studies at University of the East.I took the program Bachelor of Science in Entertainment and Multimedia Computing with Specialization in Digital Animation.Kinda cool right?But no. Our program needs a lot of effort.Artistically.You always need to prepare and pack some creative juices inside your unique brains. At my first day of college, It felt like a total nightmare.Like, whenever your feet steps to the ground, they all notice you. It’s like your body is taped with embarrassment.Luckily, I knew some of them through social media sites especially Facebook.I was texting my classmate Daniel to pick me up at the stairs because I’m not really familiar what the campus looked like inside.My heart is racing that time because it was my first day.Then, Daniel and I entered our room and I automatically had friends.Because some are my schoolmates, and I knew others through facebook.I thought my first year is my happiest year, but no.My mind and body is really not used to the atmosphere I had in college.I can see my classmates smoking,hanging out and drink beer,girls covered with make-up all over their face,hair colors,tattoos,piercings etc… That moment, I felt like they took my whole body virginity.Because I am the kind of person who doesn’t drink or smoke.On the first day, I’m really not that comfortable with my circle of friends because I can’t help but compare them to my highschool friends.As time goes by, on our second semester, my mind and body is now kinda convenient to my college atmosphere when I met new people who loves bands.If you’re going to ask me I guess my favorite year of my college life is 2nd year.It is where I knew Diane,AA,Daniel,Patrick,Keith,Ezra,Johan,Hans, and Celo.I consider Hans as my lucky charm in my college years.He’s sitting in front of me and he’s always contradicting what our professor is teaching. He always comment funny things and he whispers it to me even though I don’t know him.Well, if Hans didn’t asked me to drink some milktea with them, I wouldn’t be able to meet Ezra,Johan and Celo.Good thing I joined them because they have good influence.I guess my life will be at the bottom of obscurity like others if I haven’t met them.Ezra is a very sweet kind of person. She always give us some hugs whenever she saw us.The moment that I will never forget in my college life is our field trip. It was the same date as my birthday.It was really such a roar that happened in our hearts.I felt I was the luckiest when I knew Kat,Janelle and Carla(again) are studying at the same university as mine.Every morning before going to our classes, we meet at the canteen. Just for some chit-chats, homeworks, and bonding.After classes we sometimes hang out. But when our schedule is not hectic, it’s time for some bonding.Janelle is studying Financial Management, Kat is studying Accounting Technology and always tells me stories how cruel their professors are, and Carla is studying Civil Engineering.Back to my college classmates, I met Colleen. She loves bands too but very opposite of mine. I prefer heavy metals,post-hardcore,punk rock,deathmetal etc… She was an indie kind of girl.I thought that I can never be close to her because we’re really the opposite. As the time in hell(university) passes by, we became close. She literally got my indie kind of soul.We didn’t know that we also have many similarities in our souls like photography,films,music,poetry,thoughts,etc…As I proceed to my college journey, may the fairies of luck replenish our thirsty souls.Two more tormenting years are left in our college lives.We all hope that our brains will survive.

[enigmaticdenouement-blog]

Share your insides.

[enigmaticdenouement-blog]

I find it hard to hide it.

[enigmaticdenouement-blog]

These are the things that I need in my life as a designer student.