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[ernestra-blog]

Glastonbury Camping field

From Pennard Hill to Lower Mead, everyone has their particular spot. Why?

The Glastonbury Festival of Performing and Contemporary Arts has been going for over 40 years now, which makes it older than East Timor, Facebook and Lorde, combined. And when a massive rural piss up has been going as long as this, it’s inevitable that miniature structures of society will form within its walls, as each year, another yield of human attendees find their grooves and safe places, through recommendation, rumour and total rookie error.

Once just areas with designated names, fields like Pennard Hill, Big Ground and the mysteriously named “Hospitality Camping” have gradually become little societies of nylon cul de sacs, novelty VW gazebos, Tibet flags, and stale cow shit, each with their own supposed identity.

Nobody wants to say it, but there is an unwritten hierarchy to the campsite. It's a sliding scale of accommodation, where places like The Tipi Village (where Preston and Zara, who couldn’t buy their way into the VIP area, drink bottles of £70 wine out of plastic cups) are contrasted with haunted bogs like Lower Mead (the absolute gutter, where experience trumps comfort and everything smells like dry shampoo and Doritos). There are places out there, where the common 1 capacity Quechua pop up everyman is just not welcome.

In fact, the Glastonbury campsite hierarchy is a lot like that of Ancient Egyptian society really, except instead of having a Pharaoh at the top, it's got a Hospitality Area Winnebago. Hey, maybe that's why the Pyramid Stage is shaped and named so. Makes you think doesn't it?

Anyway, as we said, this was all unwritten… until now. Because we’re blowing the lid off this mother. This is the hierarchy of Glastonbury’s most hallowed areas, in order of their prestige and status. Stay woke, people.

The Dairy Ground

It’s like New Zealand here; green, luscious, amazing views, full of mystery and magic, and fucking miles away from everything. Tucked in the far corner behind the Park stage, and that massive ribbony tower that looks like a dildo-themed fairground ride, it has a vantage point over the entire festival. With Arcadia rumbling away in the not-too-distant-distance, it is perfect for spaced out night-owls making the scenic retreat back to their tent after a night dancing, chuffing on cigarette after cigarette and discussing how mint tomorrow is going to be as they go. That, or it's a good place to store your tent while you sleep in your mates, cos, cba to walk that far m8 tbh.

Pylon Ground

Just like in any city, when the young are forced out, they find somewhere untapped to call home. At Glastonbury, this is Pylon Ground, an emerging economy that thrives on space, innovation, free love, and a long row of pylons that buzz gently through the night. This is the early adopter neighbourhood, this is Walthamstow, this is Thomas More's Utopia, this is the future.