erraticpulse0110

[erraticpulse0110]

hey man i hope this is okay but I wanted to respond to post of yours asking about dysphoria leading to resentment of women. I’m not a part of that Tumblr community so I couldn’t respond directly but as a fellow tguy I thought I should reach out anyways.

One of the hardest things about dysphoria is that it’s not a materially resolvable issue- in other words, it may persist even if you do everything in your power to remove the physical sources of it through social AND medical means- so facing these feelings can be really frustrating and scary. Much like a pain response, dysphoria can cause people to clutch and claw at whatever the source may be in the moment, but because it’s a moving target, people may aim for the wrong thing.

In your case, a fairly common one, the source of dysphoria is attributed to the presence or perception of femininity, i.e. womanhood. It’s a natural assumption given the societal preconceptions surrounding the gender binary. However, it may help to recognize the gender binary itself as your enemy, the source of your dysphoria. Put simply, you and I, intrinsically men regardless of physical appearance, have been put in a box we do not belong in. Why would we squabble amongst our fellow prisoners (women) when we could instead rally against the box itself, and the ones who put us here?

Unlearning the paradigm (aka worldview or perspective or belief system) of the gender binary is something that takes time, patience and a lot of self-reflection, but I promise you it’s worth it. Once you realize you’re playing a rigged game, you can step away from the table entirely, and it’s one of the most freeing things to experience.

I would recommend reading some gender theory and the history of gender in the west/usamerica as a start. (Off the top of my head, I can’t think of exact titles, but a quick search on Jstor will get you there or message me and I can dig thru my PDFs). It gets more complicated as you get deeper into gender as it relates to capitalism and religion, but that’s an entirely different conversation. Again, sorry if this is unwelcome and feel free to delete if so, but hopefully this can help you along the way :)

Christ, this is genuinely so kind it hurts, thank you so much for the kind words! You aren't the first one to give me this advice and I do plan to follow it when my depression isn't getting in the way, your kind words are forever appreciated, love for you :)

[erraticpulse0110]

I understand where you're coming from, but hating women isn't going to help you. I think it might be helpful to try making female friends and have more women in your life that you care about. I assume you're pretty young so it's understandable that you feel strong emotions about this but there's already so much sexism in the world we as trans men don't need to perpetuate it further

this is exactly why I'm trying to seek help, friend! I'm aware that it's wrong and that I shouldn't take it out on women (which km not at least not literally) but I am trying to seek help, sooo, yeah

[erraticpulse0110]

your internalized misogyny probably has more to do with you being trans than you realize

i know that!!!! that's why I sent that post in s ftm community! thank you for your quite obvious, but kind hearted words <3

[erraticpulse0110]

You are really not beating the "young women transition because they have internalized misogyny" allegations. Seek help. This is why women should have safe spaces from trans people. Get away from us, youre dangerous and hateful of women.

I'm not dangerous I literally would kill myself if I harmed a woman in any way shape or form (but that applies to anyone so). Also you did NOT cook by sending this anonymously, if you wanna call me a dangerous fucking person, then do it in the non coward way, pussy

[erraticpulse0110]

You are really not beating the "young women transition because they have internalized misogyny" allegations. Seek help. This is why women should have safe spaces from trans people. Get away from us, youre dangerous and hateful of women and admit that yourself. I cant imagine being so self hating and taking it out on other women.

i find this funny for a goddamn multitude of reasons, like imagine being so fucking bitchy to the point where you send me, someone that doesn't actively seek harm and does not want to harm, this absolute pissy ass message. Sorry that my internal issues affect how I feel about myself and other people? You're acting like I'm actively harming other women, no dawg, best I do is say something like "grrr fuck women they're so not uncool" in my mind, sorry that I have issues and that I actively want to get better? Christ tall about being pissy.

[erraticpulse0110]

thing

[erraticpulse0110]

don't have anything finished to post so here's a WIP of all the mercs for practice :PP

[erraticpulse0110]

<3333

[strawpage request]

polski heavymedic ??

[erraticpulse0110]

what I hate the most about myself is that I'll make characters that i relate a lot to transmasc no matter the circumstances.

Like Kris from deltarune, my dude is clearly non binary but it sure as fuck won't stop me from making them somewhat of a man, I hate erasing rep but it feels sooo good to make my fav characters even more like me

[erraticpulse0110]

sorry for just, dyinf, I'm extremely sick and busy so putting effort into anything I love isn't an option, instead I succumb to my endless depression and then kill myself

[erraticpulse0110]

i find it crazy that bro managed to have an idea similar to mine, congrats

do you like my creatures

in order: The Horticulturist, The Iconoclast, The Solution, Union of A Thousand Minds Can 297

[erraticpulse0110]

best ship ever i'm telling the truth and you're lying if you dissagree

Reblog if you ship Krerdly! 🎮💚

[erraticpulse0110]

berdly is so me we should hang ourselves together

[erraticpulse0110]

i could attempt to help you with your mod, though i am not sure what i could do, specially since my art skills are not very good.

i am open to any and all help! It doesn't matter if it's Lediting, lore ideas, creature help and designs or soundtrack! every help is appreciated :)

Please dm me whenever you can! I'll give you my discord and we can talk properly I. there

[erraticpulse0110]

reblogging this cause maybe they didn't see it

hello. peeped your post asking for help on your mod and I'd like to help. I can do level editing and creature design (as long as you don't want me to actually code creatures in, since I don't know how unfortunately.)

holy shit, thank you so much anon!!!

I don't want you to code anything, creature coding is all up for me.

whenever you have time to, PLEASE dm me, I can send you some info like my discord and steam account so that we can talk more easily.

[erraticpulse0110]

hello. peeped your post asking for help on your mod and I'd like to help. I can do level editing and creature design (as long as you don't want me to actually code creatures in, since I don't know how unfortunately.)

holy shit, thank you so much anon!!!

I don't want you to code anything, creature coding is all up for me.

whenever you have time to, PLEASE dm me, I can send you some info like my discord and steam account so that we can talk more easily.

[erraticpulse0110]

hey chat, mod making is, as expected, difficult!

I'm seeking for help for someone willing to make an entire iterator region and help me with some rooms, ost and creature design, sadly as i'm a minor i cannot pay for your hardwork, i genuinely do not know what to pay you back with, any help is appreciated and i am sorry