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Once my grandmothers funeral and memorial and everything is done, I should be able to try and do some writing and editing of characters and stuff here. I am, hanging on by less than a thread tbph and I swear Im not ignoring anyone I'm just trying to be the steady one for my mom and uncle while they try and help my grandfather get everything in order with her things.

I might be gone longer than I thought. Family emergency and I am. Middly having a time. But I do plan on coming back with new muses and to redo a lot of Shivan's info/edit my multi stuff

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I might be gone longer than I thought. Family emergency and I am. Middly having a time. But I do plan on coming back with new muses and to redo a lot of Shivan's info/edit my multi stuff

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Anyways Im in One Piece Hell after having never watched it before. I just reached the Grand Line so I will see you all in a very long time when I eventually have the hyperfocus wear down-

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Slowly getting back into creative things- For now have a hint at some art Im working on. I should be done this piece soon and I will post it here!

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Still on an odd hiatus status. Life has just beaten me down to exhaustion and I am trying to focus on hobbies to get back up but I am very much exhausted and barely able to focus on anything. I'm gonna do a bunch of edits on here coming up to relationships and stuff for Shivan, as well as stuff on my multi when I have to energy to crawl out of this pit.

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1929 HUSBAND RATING SCALE / 1929 WIFE RATING SCALE

Tagged by: @boyinvisible

Tagging: @phantasiiae @umbral-stigmata-unbound @hautevaux @tiamattseirei @gamcboycolor

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HOPEFULLY. I will have the energy this weekend to do some replies. I swear Im not dead just been slammed irl with one thing after another. 😩 First think this weekend to be done is my asks. So if you wanna send more, then go ahead and load up the box!

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slightly touches men’s lower back when walking past them to feminize them

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Update

Im still alive and here!! I swear. I see the replies and the messages! And I will try to get to them, when I have the energy, but right now, I am working on my own health stuff and other irl stuff. I love you all!!!

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How Pure Are You?

"See? I'm completely innocent. I have clearly done nothing wrong ever in my life."

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saying “i want him” about the character but not in a romantic or sexual way . i just Require him i need to Obtain him

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Im still here, not dead!! Just been struggling with things irl so I'll eventually come back to do replies I swear!!!

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"I brought you some tea."

Well he was preparing in front of him but that counts !

Unprompted Asks | Always Accepting

Shivan laughed softly, laying back across his messy couch. "Just because I complained I was running low? You're spoiling me, Nider." He said tiredly, smiling as he watched the other make his tea. Usually he drank coffee, but there were times he did enjoy a cup of tea.

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blows kisses 💕

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“Well, pretend I’m not here. What would you say if nobody could hear it?” | From Tifa

Noticing Trauma

Shivan paused, glass halfway to his lips. Seventh Heaven was pretty quiet right now, and the perfect time for the honeybee to slide in and sit at the bar, giving a fake smile and ordering the strongest drink. He looked up at Tifa, hazel eyes meeting red as he set the glass down.

"If... You weren't here?" He repeated gently, thumb slowly moving along the rim of the cup, purple lips pursed in thought. There was plenty he wanted to say, to shout and scream about things being unfair or cruel, being trapped in a position he never wanted in the first place.

Slowly, Shivan looked down, swirling the drink in his cup. "I would complain." He admitted softly. "I know, I know, silly to just say I'd complain, everyone does. But-..." He hesitated and took a deep breath, words spilling out as he stared at his glass. "I mean, I live on the plate, I only come down for work. It's better than most. But it's not... As simple as it seems. Nothing in Wall Market is that easy- you dont just go to work, then go home like it was nothing at all. No one does."

He gave a tiny smile as he looked back up. "So, I'd just complain. Get out all the frustrations that being where I am comes with. If I could do it without worrying it would somehow reach the wrong ears or be whispered through the grapevine."

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In my sick in and out hazy mind I have come to realize something- the reason I dont write with @shinrascomputer as much as I do here. I'll put it below the cut, it is drama but not from Tumblr at all. So people dont have to look at the whole thing I have a TLDR too below. Just. It explains a lot and he'll be on a hiatus until I can figure out my own mind and what to do here.

TLDR; I had a toxic and abusive roommate years ago, and thats why my joy for Lucas' muse isnt there

To explain it better: I moved out of my parents house to go to college. I moved in with a friend from way back in high school grade 9- at that time I had known them for about ten years, give or a take a break of a few years in the middle there as we both graduated from different high schools when they moved.

The problem didn't star right away- now, as I've joked, Lucas is one of my oldest OCs. I was 13, in a French Class, and doodling dumb characters while waiting for the teacher with friends. Then, I made Lucas. He just,,, Never went away I suppose. Doodled him more and more, he became a full character and not just a doodle.

When I went to college at 23, Lucas was one of my favourite characters, an intro in OCs and the amount of creation they can have. Then, the roommate made a second Hojo experiment, combining different DNA into a child, and... Named him Luke. I assumed it just a coincidence, shrugged it off. Heard more and more about them, how the mom was horrible, how Hojo raised them, and, I started to have the nagging feeling it wasn't just a coincidence. They claimed they made Luke years ago, but we'd been writing for ages, they'd written with Lucas and other OCs, shared their own. But never mentioned this sudden favourite character they wanted to include in everything.

Fast forward a few years in the pandemic, and we were on the Twitter RPC. Things started to happen, drama was flying all over the place. I left the rpc quietly, too tired and exhausted, keeping in touch with people through other socials. They kept writing, kept mentioning all these things about stuff I told them not to do. Their treatment of myself and my (now ex) partner got terrible. We moved in with my parents, and they shot every bad mouth thing they could at us both, screamed at us to gtfo. We left when they were at work, defeated and tired, and blocked them on everything. I later learned the dramas were, mostly, by their hand, their toxic and manipulative behaviour ruined quite a few characters for me that I still dont write as I used to (Tseng, and Rufus, are also on that list).

But I've never let go that they had a character named Luke, that they made after countless rps with Lucas, tried to claim they were years old and such a special muse for them. I can't write Lucas without thinking of that, I can't enjoy my little gremlin like I used to anymore, because now, his character is tainted with a past I don't know how to wipe away to find the joy I used to.

That's also why I'm so cautious about writing characters and sharing my ideas, why I don't like discussing them or feel like I need to be vague. I know people won't steal him, everyone here is so lovely and has been a very welcoming community, I see so many others that have faced the same problems of ideas being taken and it pains me to know that someone I thought a close friend was actually just a thief, and a manipulator like that.

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Shivan took his time searching. Finding things to match what he knew about Reno's style. A plain black tank top with a button up shirt for over top. A deep rich green, dark and something he saw helping to make Reno's hair pop. A few different pairs of jeans, from faded and ripped in style to simple and black. A few more shirts, joined the others. A black shirt with swirling bright shades of blue and purple covering it, a long sleeve shirt that started a red orange, gradient fading to white at the bottom of the shirt and sleeves to black. A leather jacket caught his attention and he grabbed it. He hummed as he made his way back over to Reno, spotting the clothes in his arms.

"Well, now which one of us is going to try these on first?" He smiled softly, tilting his head as he looked curiously at Reno's options, voice light and teasing. "Because I'm ready, but I don't know if you are~ You might want to hire me as a personal stylist once you see what I picked for you."

He sighed but with a laugh, finally letting go of the others hand. "Yeah, I think I've cause on to the color. I've got you, Handsome~." he promised and winked, before turning and going off on his own to search. The hunt was on and he did, certainly, want to be discreet. He'd get a balance, he considered. Four outfits, some masc, some femme, and easy to mix for something in between.

Even as Reno was collecting the outfits, he already know Shivan could wear every look wonderfully. He was a hard man to make unattractive, really. It was more about whether Shivan himself would like it.

Finally, he settled on a couple things, involving one dress, and some lovely tops. One was a rather elegan dress, not too extravegant to feel overwhelming or make Shivan think it cost too much, but still lovely. It was black, accented with silver changes. A split down the skirt at the side, exposed shoulders and a cute chest window, but long sleeves. Then there was deep blue, loose but soft top, paired with a belt and pants. Next was a fancy deep blue, criss-crossy top with an illusion of layers. It was tight fitting, crossed around the shoulders and neck, but was otherwise lovely. That came with a choice of a medium, twirling skirt OR pants, or both. The last was a spaghetti strap top with a long flow in the back, a deep red. Along with a jacket. It could also be paired with either the pants, or the skirt.

Once he'd finished collecting his option, he was on the hunt for Shivan. "Shiiiivvvyyyyy, you readyyyy?" he called tauntingly.