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freelancer analysis pt1

freelancer is a really interesting character. most people have noticed that they seem to always “push their feelings aside” while pushing their friends feelings to the forefront, but i think it’s more than that. i actually think their feelings aren’t even a thought in their mind—that they really don’t notice or even care about things they go through unless someone else shines light on the situation. so here are things that led me to believe that:

the kody situation. we could say that their lack of initial reaction was due to them not having knowledge of bridging, but even after huxley explains it to them they have this sort of..lack of response. it’s everyone else around them that really seems to care—they’re the ones who let freelancer know that actions need to be taken. and only then do they do something. they don’t bring the situation up themselves, like in the “meeting up” vid with hux, it’s only when he says he wants to talk about it do they say it’s okay. even when kody confronts them it doesn’t seem like they care about the situation, it’s lasko who jumps in to defend them.

they always divert attention from themselves to their friends. i even remember in an audio with huxley, he’s asking about their life and they give some short answer, then immediately ask about his. they do this in audios a lot, answering questions briefly and then listening to their friends talk about their feelings.

i’ve seen people upset about the damn crew seemingly not comforting freelancer regarding inversion, and i’ve also seen people claiming that it could have happened behind the scenes—to which people respond by saying this is an audio channel and anything that relevant would be made into an audio or at least referenced..which it wasn’t. i do agree, but i believe it’s intentional. and here’s why:

i believe fl didn’t want to be comforted, they wanted to help the others. yes their friends care about them, but fl is so far removed from their feelings they would never bring them up. it’s not even a thought in their mind which is a huge problem. even when gavin comforts them in his audio, it’s because he feels that something’s wrong with fl, and i believe if he didn’t have the means to do so he wouldn’t have noticed. not because he doesn’t care, but bc freelancer doesn’t hide their emotions in an intentional way—more so by way of not caring about it themselves. to them, their feelings aren’t relevant unless others make it so.

i also believe they introduced everyone to each other because they didn’t want to be the center of their friends lives. for background, i’ve seen people say they don’t like how fl was “pushed inside” in that audio (bowling), like huxley and damien focusing on each other the whole time or gavin joking around about sleeping w lasko. ppl have expressed that fl is the listener so it’s odd that their friends barely acknowledge them. i think this was also intentional, to shed light on fl’s character. here’s why:

before this audio, things may have gotten too close for comfort for fl. not in a “i don’t want you to be my friends that much” but more in a “i don’t want to be the center of your lives” way. their friends (including gavin) all previously implied that fl really was their only or their closest friend. huxley says being around them is the first time he’s felt seen, that people always use him and that he’s others friends but no one’s his friend. he says it’s different with fl, that he feels he can finally “be himself”. damien says that fl was his first friend at d.a.m.n, since he would always stay in his apartment focusing on school and that people didn’t bother to get to know him. lasko pretty much says the same; that fl was their closest friend. and gavin ofc felt the same, saying that he was finally treated like a person instead of some sex object.

i believe when fl heard this, they recognized it meant they would be seen. it seemed like everyone was sort of pushing them to the center of their lives, which made them uncomfortable because they want to be hidden. they want to be there for others, not so much for others to be there for them. if everyone pushed them to the center, it would be much harder for them to hide. this is even evident with the kody situation—damien only found out bc of lasko and lasko knew bc huxley knew lasko,,etc. they recognized—maybe not even consciously—that their friends would pay attention to them, and introducing everyone to each other was a way for them to remove the focus from themselves and for everyone to be there for one other. 

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things fl does to piss off damien (he actually likes them/finds it funny but pretends not to)

pinches his cheeks and makes noises like they’re having cuteness aggression

ruffles his hair

closing their eyes and making kissy faces at him

stares at him and smiles overly big for extended periods of time (he joins in and stares right back blank faced until it’s basically a staring contest)

takes his food and eats it casually like it’s theirs

stays randomly silent and scratches their head in the middle of conversations when he asks them stuff

airplane spoon when they all eat together (one time he actually accepted it and just to get them back)

puts their arm on his shoulder and poses

acts overly interested and studious (like nodding after every word with their hand under their chin) when he’s talkin about random things with the crew. sometimes when he sees them doing it out the corner of his eye he’ll stop in his tracks and they all bust out laughin

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random nsfw d.a.m.n crew hcs, mdni 

we know freelancer calls gavin daddy yes, but they also call him mommy. they love it when he’s dominant in bed while appearing feminine, like wearing makeup or stuff like lacy feminine attire, and gavin really likes it too lol

this is canon already but to extend, huxley likes it a lot when damien tops, he’s a switch and immediately gets into a submissive headspace when damien does

damien and freelancer used to hook up in the past, and damien literally would just give them oral. he absolutely loves to give oral to all parts and he likes the pleasure he gives to others lmfao. fl loved to watch him do it

lasko really likes to have his nipples sucked/licked and when he’s close, dear will do it and he’ll finish immediately 

bc of his overall size, huxley likes for people to sit on his chest and..do stuff. for example- for afab, he would love for someone to ride his chest lmfao and would be encouraging the entire time. for amab he would love for someone (cough cough damien) to get off while sitting on his chest and to finish on his face

if gav and damien ever were to hook up, (they have), the first time, damien would absolutely outfreak gavin and let me explain why: he’s just really competitive and has an overall personality where he likes to be in control, and gavin would let him 🤷🏽‍♀️. after that tho damien would chill out lol

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more cutie and geordi angst

since cutie began to read minds less often after separating from geordi, now when they choose to, it’s hard for them to limit it to one person. instead, there’s a rush of many different thoughts from unintended people—-and sometimes it’s more than they can stand. 

——

growing up, they never experienced anything like this—they always had complete control over their powers after learning how to handle them properly. 

after getting back together with geordi, they soon realize what’s happening: after a while, of them being back together, geordi allows them back into his head, and they start to hear another voice. they brush it off, but after a couple more times of reading his mind—it continues.

they don’t want to tell him out of fear for him feeling guilt. they now understand why geordi made the choice to take a break, and the last thing they want to do is instill regret or shame in him for that decision. so they end up keeping it to themselves, believing that it’s not that big a deal. they can handle it.

——

they can’t handle it.

it’s the public places that get to them—and keeping the truth from geordi makes it even harder. they’ll be shopping at a mall during holidays and geordi will want them to talk to him that way, and suddenly cutie can hear everything. they’ve mastered their poker face, but recently it’s gotten much harder, headaches have been stronger, and their mind is so, so unbearably loud.

——

-geordi is beginning to notice something is up. at first he thought nothing of it (headaches were really nothing new), but it seems like they’re more frequent now. cutie is sometimes stumbling bc of the pain, and he’s caught them grimacing more than a couple times now. it’s worrying, but everytime he brings it up cutie dismisses him with a smile.

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this just made me giddy i’m so glad yall think about that post lol thank you 🙏🏾

i can't find the post but someone posted a headcanon a while ago about cutie moving on and geordi silently resenting them for it because their new partner is getting the better version of cutie, the cutie he deserved, and i've been thinking about it a lot lately.

i also think die for you by joji is the perfect song for them in that hc

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thinking about how cutie canonically sneezed right in geordi’s face while they were kissing

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🫡

hcs for geordi and cutie cuz i miss those two

-cutie stares at geordi’s face a lot more when conversating, since they now read his mind less. in the past, they would engage in other activities; basically multitasking while listening to him talk to them telepathically. now, they look him in the face the entire time to understand what he’s feeling and the meaning of his words, instead of intruding (geordi absolutely loves it, their eyes are insanely beautiful).

-it took some time for cutie to get used to silence when they got back together with geordi. they were used to just listening to his random thoughts like background noise, and now the lack of is off putting. they switched to practically always wearing headphones and listening to music, on full volume. it got to the point that that wouldn’t even hear geordi sometimes when he would call their name and talk to them.

-after the break up, cutie got reacquainted with an old friend who’s also a telepath. when geordi and cutie got back together, they introduced their friend to geordi—- they get along, but geordi’s always nervous about their relationship. he knows it’s an unreasonable and far-fetched fear, but sometimes he thinks cutie will leave him for that friend. it stems from the guilt he still holds for breaking up with cutie; but occasionally a thought will pop into his head that cutie still holds it against him (they don’t), and that they’d rather be with someone who can understand them better (they wouldn’t).

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hcs for geordi and cutie cuz i miss those two

-cutie stares at geordi’s face a lot more when conversating, since they now read his mind less. in the past, they would engage in other activities; basically multitasking while listening to him talk to them telepathically. now, they look him in the face the entire time to understand what he’s feeling and the meaning of his words, instead of intruding (geordi absolutely loves it, their eyes are insanely beautiful).

-it took some time for cutie to get used to silence when they got back together with geordi. they were used to just listening to his random thoughts like background noise, and now the lack of is off putting. they switched to practically always wearing headphones and listening to music, on full volume. it got to the point that they wouldn’t even hear geordi sometimes when he would call their name and talk to them.

-after the break up, cutie got reacquainted with an old friend who’s also a telepath. when geordi and cutie got back together, they introduced their friend to geordi—- they get along, but geordi’s always nervous about their relationship. he knows it’s an unreasonable and far-fetched fear, but sometimes he thinks cutie will leave him for that friend. it stems from the guilt he still holds for breaking up with cutie; but occasionally a thought will pop into his head that cutie still holds it against him (they don’t), and that they’d rather be with someone who can understand them better (they wouldn’t).

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headcanon of the day

freelancer frequently worries about their career. more specifically, they worry about the fact that they don’t really seem to have any ambition when it comes to a career. they’re a human born, so they were brought up with an entirely different view on life. when they realized and accepted that they had magic, all their previous plans for their life dissipated completely. but even before, they never gave it much thought—they were never quite passionate about anything. and then their powers came along, and eventually, they were so passionate about it. their life was given a whole new meaning; one that they adored. their newfound focus on this path took away from any attention given to a career, but now… it’s an increasing source of anxiety. they find themselves constantly comparing their lives to their friends. damien knows exactly what he wants to do—-he always has, and he’s always gotten it. freelancer was so proud of him once he announced his new position, but a sick feeling of envy and apprehension took over them as well. and it’s the same situation with huxley and dear, too. they’re both incredibly talented and driven, knowing what they want in a career and always striving to get it. gavin can’t relate to them either...though he may have a shared experience of not having career plans at one point in time, he’s now diligent and focused in his studies and plans. he talks more and more about what he wants to do in the future, and freelancer is there, encouraging him and cheering him on. but still, there’s this nagging, inescapable feeling of inferiority brewing inside them whenever he brings it up. if anyone could relate to them, it would’ve been lasko. he wasn’t used to this life, hadn’t grown up knowing about this magical world and planning his life with it all in mind, like the others. but they had met him as a counselor, and he only seemed to grow in his job at d.a.m.n, constantly reforming and achieving promotion after promotion. freelancer just feels so guilty—they know it’s pathetic, but they can’t help it. the insecurity and self-doubt derived from their apathy is utterly consuming. so they continue to attend their monotonous jobs, changing them constantly, and searching for aspiration..all in vain.

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slightly off topic but since i first heard about bridging after getting into redacted, i’ve always viewed it as so similar to fusion, even in steven universe they really stress the importance of it; how special it is, just like bridging 🙏🏾 love it

I was so into Steven Universe when I was a teen, why haven't I thought about fusing redacted bois with each other? Or with their listeners. Or listeners together?

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hc of the day

when geordi and cutie first split up, geordi would have dreams about cutie for some time. they were good dreams that he really enjoyed, but unfortunately he was always fearful that cutie was somehow using their powers to manipulate him through his dreams

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-geordi and cutie who decide to just be friends,

-cutie who has changed their old ways and enters a new relationship with someone else…

-geordi who resents the fact that this person is in a relationship with a changed cutie while he had to endure an unhealthy relationship with them.

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maybe i’m too emotionalll

-geordi and cutie who decide to just be friends,

-cutie who has changed their old ways and enters a new relationship with someone else…

-geordi who resents the fact that this person is in a relationship with a changed cutie while he had to endure an unhealthy relationship with them.

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-geordi and cutie who decide to just be friends,

-cutie who has changed their old ways and enters a new relationship with someone else…

-geordi who resents the fact that this person is in a relationship with a changed cutie while he had to endure an unhealthy relationship with them.

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i want a geordi comfort audio where he helps cutie with their headaches. tbh i’ve wanted it ever since he mentioned it in that one audio implying it kinda happens often. really wanna see a cute side of these two again 🙏🏾 

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me with gavin and damien

its crazy how you could ship any member of the D.A.M.N crew with any other member and they’d probably be one of the best ships ever