evans-swift

[evans-swift]

baby I CAN’T im sorryy

[evans-swift]

hilarious that oversized clothes and a shaggy haircut can make marvel fans forget that a man is literally a suicidal meth addict high school dropout with a history of attacking people while under the influence who donated his life to an extremely shady experiment in hopes of finding more/free drugs

[evans-swift]

well have you considered that maybe the unstoppable force is in love with the immovable object

[evans-swift]

lewis pullman sends danny ramirez bobquin content, which I don't draw (mad respect), but that means he's lurking on social media. begone white boy! let me draw you in peace

[evans-swift]

it's like the old saying goes, The customer is always wrong and it's legal to kill them

[evans-swift]

"Women shouldn't be pilots" you're right I would fly into The Whore House in an attempt to assassinate Trump via plane

[evans-swift]

when exactly is uptown funk gon give it to me?

[evans-swift]

[evans-swift]

once you remember that you are not in fact catholic and do not actually have to confess your sins all the time things will get better for you. kill the part of you that wants to go into some strangers inbox and tell them why you don’t listen to rap.

[evans-swift]

nobody has asked me if i know the lyrics to a bridge in a while and i gotta say i miss it

[evans-swift]

bitch this is all you’re gonna get. this life, this face, this body. you better not ‘maybe in another universe’ your way out of everything. sit your ass down and face this. go make tea and have a picnic and read a goddamn book. kiss your loved ones, send that damn text, and hug your siblings. this is all you’re gonna get.

[evans-swift]

Top Gun - Incorrect Quote 338

Iceman, to Goose: Can I have your best friend for the rest of my life? Say yes, say yes, cause I need to know

Goose: Wait here *Leaves the room*

Goose: *Comes back dragging Mav behind him* Take him, he won't shut up about you

[evans-swift]

Bob <3

[evans-swift]

The smiles of Miles

[evans-swift]

fuck this *I bite into the apple seed I keep under my tongue for emergencies. I've finally reached the end of my lifetime allowance of apple seeds I can eat without getting cyanide poisoning and I die instantly*

[evans-swift]

this tweet is on par with “omg you people can’t do anything” in terms of how it changed the way i think and move about the world because now when i tell people i’ve only had my doppio espresso i hear this tweet word for word