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Hey hi this is @frostedbladekeeper how do i find a henchman. im 17 and i want to commit violence against the wizards chasing me and trying to kill me with horrible loud metal sticks but i am also lost and i need a human (ugh) or someone else to help me not die and also bring me snacks

Ok, this is a big conversation.

check forums!

contact a goon lending organization if you need some string arms.

find some gremlins in danger, save them, they’ll be forever loyal.

personally, my boss pursued number 3 for me!

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You’d be surprised, man.

Are you evil?

Yes.

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check it out, im in the house like

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gimmick accounts are fun until they start piping up under my posts. you think you can write a punchline better than mine with your bag full of a singular trick? and then have your little goons reblog it so the majority of the instances of its existence are only as an accessory to your peanut-gallery-tier commentary, defiling my post for your own ejaculatory conquest? i oughta gut you.

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This is the first step in our reign of evil! Together, friends!

gimmick accounts are fun until they start piping up under my posts. you think you can write a punchline better than mine with your bag full of a singular trick? and then have your little goons reblog it so the majority of the instances of its existence are only as an accessory to your peanut-gallery-tier commentary, defiling my post for your own ejaculatory conquest? i oughta gut you.

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[evilblr]

no it’s not we are definitely real henchmen posting true tumblr posts and not teenagers on gimmick blogs.

My boss just fired me. And I'm worried that there's something wrong...

Help?

- @dont-call-me-doggy

That’s not good… um… how can I help? Do you need a place to stay? Help investigating? Should I get my dad?!?? That’s my worst fear I’m so sorry that happened to you.

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sometimes you need an evil break to rest your wicked eyes and mind.

remember to take that break soon.

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reverse house flipping. I’m making the inside of this boring house bizarre, outdated and creepy.

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Anyone seen this movie

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Ok!!! You can come to the lair!!! We’ll get the guest room ready!!!! You’ll be ok!!!!

My boss just fired me. And I'm worried that there's something wrong...

Help?

- @dont-call-me-doggy

That’s not good… um… how can I help? Do you need a place to stay? Help investigating? Should I get my dad?!?? That’s my worst fear I’m so sorry that happened to you.

[evilblr]

Ok!!!! I’m here for you!!! Do you want hugs? We can give you lots of hugs!! And soup!! My boss makes amazing soup!!

My boss just fired me. And I'm worried that there's something wrong...

Help?

- @dont-call-me-doggy

That’s not good… um… how can I help? Do you need a place to stay? Help investigating? Should I get my dad?!?? That’s my worst fear I’m so sorry that happened to you.

[evilblr]

My boss just fired me. And I'm worried that there's something wrong...

Help?

- @dont-call-me-doggy

That’s not good… um… how can I help? Do you need a place to stay? Help investigating? Should I get my dad?!?? That’s my worst fear I’m so sorry that happened to you.

[evilblr]

SORRY WAS REFFERRING TO YOU. YOU ARE A NORMAL FREAK THEYRE A BAD JERKY PERSON.

EVERYONE IS A FREAK BEING A FREAK IS COOL AND AWESOME AND NORMAL. I HAVE SCALES!!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳

~ EVIL!!!! 😈👻😈😈🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇🦇💀💀

Yeah, but the freak I'm dealing with rn wants to kidnap my boss's boo, so I kinda don't like them

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I don’t know about the rest of you but the teachers all love me. :3

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Reblogging to boost! <3 good luck, evil guy!!!

hello.

i have followed all the evil henchman steps, I am very evil, I even have an evil little waistcoat, yet I am missing one evil step.

an evil boss.

how does one acquire an evil boss (all of the ads I have found are solo villains tricking me into their precarious and over the top traps to gloat to their evil solo buddies)

<:0 That sucks so bad!! I’m sorry those solo villains have been mistreating you! They don’t deserve a henchman like you!!

Have you tried forums? Uhhhhh maybe a minion lending program? Those can lead to a full time job!!

What kind of villain are you looking for?

[evilblr]

hello.

i have followed all the evil henchman steps, I am very evil, I even have an evil little waistcoat, yet I am missing one evil step.

an evil boss.

how does one acquire an evil boss (all of the ads I have found are solo villains tricking me into their precarious and over the top traps to gloat to their evil solo buddies)

<:0 That sucks so bad!! I’m sorry those solo villains have been mistreating you! They don’t deserve a henchman like you!!

Have you tried forums? Uhhhhh maybe a minion lending program? Those can lead to a full time job!!

What kind of villain are you looking for?