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#BakitList No. 1: BAKIT KA SINGLE?

Recently, we conducted a survey that is for single ladies aging 10 years old and above only. We let the survey form be posted in a group specifically, “UC senior high school” and let them share their thoughts to us. It was not a hard one to do because there are a lot of single ladies out there in the social media world that are-- maybe longing to meet their Mr. Right online (LOL, as in Love On Line, pfft nevermind) or perhaps they’re sneaking in their crush’s timeline, who knows? Haha.

After we posted the survey form last July 4, forty-one single ladies (as of July 8) confidently responded and shared their thoughts regarding the question, “Bakit ka single?” along with the eighteen possible reasons that we provided. Whatever their reasons are, let us know. Here’s an illustration of the result:

The reasons that we provided are likely based on what we typically observed that are happening around us, some reasons might be broad, some are just like the other one and some are just simply connected with the other(s). The thing is, how did the reasons become possible answers to the question “Bakit ka single?” Well, these girls who responded probably have their own interpretation toward the reasons but let us still try to explicate our insights one by one.

STUDY FIRST. ARAL MUNA bago landi! This is very applicable to us students. Ipasantabi muna yang love love na yan. May panahon din yan. Sometimes kasi, we have to prioritize such things over romance and temporary kilig. Minsan din kasi, totoong distraction lang yang mga yan. Aanhin mo ang boyfriend mo kung puro palakol naman ang report card mo! Mahiya naman tayo sa parents natin. Well, unless you are capable enough to balance your relationship and your studies.

NOT IN THE APPROPRIATE AGE. To those who are young out there like us, huwag OA, huwag masyadong makati este excited. Let’s enjoy our youth! And to all single ladies out there, isipin nalang natin ung mga benefits kapag single noh, marami rami din un. At least pag single ka ung pera mo, sayo lang, pag single ka, walang commitment kaya you’re free to do things that you want to do, at least bawal limitations diba.

STRICT PARENTS. Ba’t nga ba sila strict? Sabi nga nila, “It’s for your own good”. Di din natin sila masisisi kasi di nila maiwasan na maging overprotective, escpecially sa mga unika iha, kasi kung titignan natin sa generation ngayon, there is a great increase sa teenage pregnancy. Kaya for them, once na magboyfriend ka, mabubuntis ka. What a concept. Connected din ito sa second reason which is not in the appropriate age kasi nga, bata pa daw kasi tayo. Think of your future kanu. But sometimes the reason is simply like this, THEY DO NOT TRUST YOU. 

CHOOSY. So choosy pa talaga tayo noh. HAHAHAHA. GANDA KA?! Pero seriously, tayo kasi masyado na tayong picky. May pahighhigh standards pa tayong nalalaman. Single tayo kaso kahit million million ung mga manliligaw natin walang pumapasa kasi nga kasing taas ng Eiffel Tower ung standards natin. Why not next time, para naman magkabf tayo (especially ung mga NBSB diyan) tignan naman natin ung mga “Good” things about the guy. Pero not to the point na magiging martyr na tayo ha. Setting a high standard is also for your good.

I’M UGLY, NO ONE LIKES ME. (Referring to physical appearance) If it’s not you being so choosy, the boys are. That moment when you really feel like you are not every guy’s typical girl, you lose hope to yourself and eventually, you’ll hate and blame yourself for being such an ugly potato. Mashakit pero ganun talaga. Pero magagawan naman yan eh. Daming make-up diyan. Pero if ayaw mo or di mo feel, let the guys discover your true beauty kasi all of us are beautiful in our own special ways. Kung wala parin, let it be. Malay mo mamemeet mo palang ung guy that will love and admire you for who you really are. Si guy that will always remind you that you are beautiful.

TORPE YUNG GUSTO KO. Hahaha He likes you, you know that. You like him, he knows it. You want him to be your boyfriend but he’s not making a move to pursue you because he is such a very shy boy. A common situation here is that the both of you are too noisy in messenger but not in person. Pero kung gusto ka ng gusto mo. Swerte mo ah. Don’t waste the opportunity. Grab it! Minsan kasi, kailangan, tayong mga babae ang kailangan lumapit. BUT isang malaking BUT! Huwag mong paabutin sa punto na pinapahiya mo na ung sarili mo. DIGNITY AND PRIDE is still a must! 

DI AKO GUSTO NG GUSTO KO. Aww sadder than the previous one. You like him but he doesn’t like you. You want him to be your boyfriend but he doesn’t like you to be his girlfriend. Shaklap! Pero totoo. Hindi ka niya gusto kasi may gusto siyang iba. It’s either in a relationship na siya or ayaw ka lang talaga niya. To solve that, we need APPEAL. Create something inside you na kagusto gusto. Try to be desirable. Just don’t overdo it and don’t forget who you truly are.

WALANG NANLILIGAW. Bakit walang nanliligaw? Kasi hindi ka jowable. Hindi ka girlfriend material. Baka naman kapatid lang ang tingin sayo, or worse, baka nanay-nanayan ka lang para sakanila. Look at the mirror, and reflect but never change just for guys to like you, remember, you were not born to meet their standards. Pero wag bitter ha.

CAREER FIRST. Trabaho muna. Earn muna. Maganda din kasi kapag stable ka na sa buhay saka kana maghanap ng romance. Yung kaya mong bumili ng mga kailangan mo without a guy to provide for you.

WALA AKONG PERA. Poor ka. Wala kang panggastos para sa effort na kailangan once in a relationship ka. For instance, you spend money to buy something you’ll give to your guy, this happens. Pero remember, your status in life would not define how great a girlfriend you could be. AT HINDI LAHAT NADADAAN SA PERA!

*minsan BOTH: brokenhearted na nga, wala pang pera. HAHAHA*

TAKOT AKO SA COMMITMENT. Heard about that Philophobia? The fear of falling in love because you might get hurt? Understanding it deeper, iniingatan mo lang si puso mo. That is a good thing actually but we need to encounter the pain in order to learn and have a better relationship in the future. Atsaka what’s the sense of pagboboyfriend ba? It’s to look for someone who’ll stay with you forever (although walang forever). Kaya wag matakot sa commitment, di yan nangangagat. Try and try until you succeed nga. *Pero di naming kayo iniencourage na lumandi noh*

HANGGANG LANDI LANG MUNA. Aminin, masaya maglandi. Pero make sure na yung nilalandi mo, landiable (huwag ung may gf). At least pag landi, maeenjoy mo ung benefits of being “loved”. Bawas sakit. Walang label, walang commitment, walang sakit and most of all, wala kang karapatang mag selos. Once you’ve become too overwhelmed, dyan na tayo magkakaproblema. Note: do not get too attached with your landi buddy, unang ma-fall, siya’ng talo.

HINDI PA AKO NAKAMOVE ON SA EX KO. One thing to do. Move on! And first step of moving on is to enjoy your life muna. Lasapin mo ung masayang buhay ng isang single. After that, saka na maghanap ng bagong love life to truly and completely move on because it’s not a good idea to use a guy to move on, it won’t help as well.

I’M NOT INETERESTED. Wala sa vocabulary mo ang “love”. Minsan, bitter lang talaga tayo. But at least try. Discover the fun and pain of love to be called “human”.

I’M BUSY. You’re busy with your requirements, church duties, sister’s duty and such, to the point na wala ka nang time para harapin ang mga nanliligaw sayo hahaha kung ano mang pinagkakaabalahan mo, tuloy mo lang. Saka nalang tayo maglandi once na marami na tayong free time.

AYOKONG MASAKTAN (MULI). Huwaw, drama natin ati. Kaya nga tayo nagboboyfriend to look for someone who will stay by our side forever. Kaya kung ayaw mong masaktan muli, bahala ka. Tumanda nalang tayong dalaga. Pain is actually part of love. Another situation na maaring dahilan mo ay yung sakit na naramdaman mo sa previous relationship mo, you don’t want to feel it again that is why you strongly chose to be single. 

MAY HINIHINTAY AKO. Sinong hinihintay mo? Si superman? Si prince charming riding on a white horse approaching you in slow mo? Neckneck mo! Walang ganun. Pero hindi din naman masamang maghintay. Wait for the right person, not for the perfect one. There are also different situations regarding that ‘may hinihintay ako’ it’s both you and the guy are not yet ready to be in a commitment kaya nag desisyon kayong maghintayan. Pwede rin namang baka tsinetyempohan mo lang si crush mo and his girl to break up bago ka umeksna HAHAHAH.

WE BROKE UP. Simple, you are single because one of you ended your relationship, ikaw or siya, whatever. Either magbalikan kayo o maghanap ng bago. Pero actually, may third choice which is tumanda kang isang bitter na dalaga. HAHAHAHA

LAGING TANDAAN! HINDI MASAMANG MAGING SINGLE! HUWAG LANG TAYO MASYADONG EXCITED.. KEEP CALM AND STAY PRETTY. DADATING DIN SIYA. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.