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the joker would be rejected from official clownery because of how many clown rules he brakes regularly like the american clown association clown code of ethics especially the 1st 4th and 8th but like arguably all of them

Marry Back In

I had an idea that made me giggle, thus it of course needed to be shared.  It is so thoroughly crack that other crack fics make fun of it.  I am sure you guessed but no canon was harmed in the making of this idea. And if it was, you will have to let me know. 

Jason Todd comes back from the dead, does his assassin montage, and comes back to Gotham to become The Red Hood. He does not attack Tim in Titans Tower, or even really dislike his replacement. He is pissy and angry at Batman, but in more of a ’You’re not my real dad’ kind of way. Jason does not want to be brought back to legal life, nor does he want to be adopted again. He wants to rule his crime empire with an iron fist, take pot shots at the Joker for being a failure of a clown (Jason personally reported the Joker for not having registered his face with the Clown Egg Registry and had the pleasure of watching The Joker get a beatdown from 25 real clowns in the middle of crime alley. Fortunately, The Joker was gone for a few months after that, unfortunately he was gone going through the steps to have his face officially registered so The Joker came back an official clown), and not have to deal with the Bats and Birds. 

Bruce desperately wants Jason back in the family. In any way possible. Like offering to bring Jason Todd back to life officially, or offering to fund and outfit Jason’s entire Red Hood gang. Just anything for his baby to be brought back into the family. 

Then when Tim is 18 (Jason is 19, not counting the time he was dead-which Jason does not), Jason flirts with Tim, mostly by accident. Bruce witnesses this and realizes if Jason marries into the family Bruce gets to call Jason son again.  Bruce ships JayTim so hard. 

Bruce sits down with Tim that night, checks to make sure that Tim is ok with marrying Jason (he is at least open to exploring that idea), and declares that Tim's new top mission is to seduce Jason into marrying back into the family. Tim (who still has both his living parents in this one) points out that Tim is a Drake and not a Wayne. 

Bruce ponders this obstacle for a bit, declares that he knows how to fix that and pulls Tim along with him over to the Drake house, Jack and Janet are home. Jack and Janet have long been let into the secret of Batman and Robin, along with the lengthy negotiation that let Tim stay a vigilante.  Thus they need much less explanation than most when a partially unmasked Batman and a fully masked Red Robin show up at their door where Batman proceeds to propose marriage to them both. 

NOTE: Bruce would certainly never ask one of his protege’s to do something he was not willing to do.

Bruce explains that if They (Bruce and Jack and Janet) get married, Tim could be Tim Drake-Wayne, so marrying Jason would bring him back into the fold.  Bruce does have to insist they have an open marriage, since Wonder woman would kill Him (Bruce) if he had to stop showing up at the monthly JL orgy (I really like ‘work hard/play hard’ for my superheroes) and superman would cry. 

Tim thinks this all seems needlessly complicated.  

Jack and Janet (already in an open relationship, have slept with Brucie Wayne-both before and after finding out about Batman- the occasionally having sex gives a good excuse for Tim to spend a significant amount of time at Wayne manor as his parents are friends with Bruce) are intrigued. Jack does feel compelled to point out that legal (and it would need to be legal for Tim to take on the Wayne last name) marriage between more than 2 people is possible in New Jersey. 

Bruce, very deadpan, says that Bruce, Jack, or Janet have enough money and clout individually to have Poly marriage to be legalized in Gotham specifically by the next day, could have it on the ballot and voted as legal in New Jersey by the end of the next state election.  

The Drakes agree to marry Bruce, but only if there is some big spectacle of a wedding with courting by Bruce (specifically several instances where Brucie dramatically cries out how well he could take care of them to Janet, while Jack gets several very visible over the top romantic gestures) as payment for them staying in Gotham for the amount of time it took to plan the wedding and get married; honestly they all thought things were getting a bit boring in the elite circles. Bruce also agreed to fund three expeditions, get them in touch with a variety of Justice League members (Aquaman, Wonder Woman, Martian Manhunter, among others) for the purpose of them being able to practice Archaeology and History with cultures and species they would not be able to otherwise, and get them into the Justice League with associated civilians quarterly orgy. 

To be fair, Bruce would have done all of these things either way. 

Alfred starts planning the wedding immediately. He has been waiting to have a wedding for his son since before Dick was adopted. He also starts researching, and contacting any magical based person he knows, to see if there is a way to bring Thomas and Martha’s spirits from the hereafter for a day, to attend the wedding. As far as Alfred is concerned this is an amazing opportunity that also has the benefit of giving Tim, and possibly Jason, the Wayne name. 

There is an actual, ongoing fight between Selena Kyle, Harvey Dent, Clark Kent, Oliver Queen and a number of other people (both known rogues and unknown heroes) about who got to give Bruce away. I just want you all to know it is generally known in Gotham that roughly half of Gotham rogues had been a friend, dating, or having sex with Brucie Wayne. It is assumed that Brucie is not aware that many of his flings ended up on the wrong side of the law. 

NOTE: In this universe there was a point where WE had to put out and official statement that any attack on Brucie Wayne would piss off most of Gotham’s rogues and all of the Vigilantes (which would piss off the rest of the Rogues-Joker does not care either way about Bruce Wayne, but he does not like Batman's attention being on anything but the Joker, which inevitably happens when Bruce Wayne is injured). 

This entire process has the added benefit of doing real, psychic damage to the various children and junior heroes involved.  Dick only stops fake gagging at Bruce’s gestures when it is pointed out that at least the Drakes are not Talia Al Ghul (Later, when Talia appears with Damian, Janet and Talia meet. No one is sure if they want to fuck or kill each other, or possibly some strange combination of both but the entire process ends with Talia telling Damian that he is allowed to call Janet ‘Mom’). Tim, in accordance with his own mission, uses the unmitigated trauma  of being forced to realize all three of his parents were having sex with each other to bond with Jason (who is bewildered as his parental trauma is distinctly different).  Steph now has to fend off adoption attempts from all three. Cass gets two new parents that love fashion and also love to ply her with pretty things to wear (I like the thought of the Drakes both being fashionistas, and also Cass, who was treated as a weapon for so long, gets adults in her life that like helping her look pretty-There is something compelling about the idea of Cass finally feeling safe enough to wear something that she cannot fight easily in). 

The wedding is a spectacular spectacle that turned into a festival lasting 5 days 

Tim and Jason do start dating and eventually get married. Tim had long since admitted to Bruce’s plan. 

Jason insisted that he and Tim would take on Janet’s maiden name rather than Wayne. 

Janet laughed for days at the pouting from both her husbands.

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can anyone explain to me why it seems like dpxdc posts and fics seem to be treating ghosts as a species more and more often? im genuinely confused by it because i understand a narrative around danny having a crisis over weather hes still human because like canonically he had some points where he is struggling with weather hes a freak/monster or human because of fear of ghosts/how his parents talk about ghost and the whole am i alive thing so i get that but thats not a species thing thats a what counts as humanity thing and so i just get confused when i see things in fics where danny or one of the other human ghost say that they arnt human their ghosts or like categorize ghost things as things humans cant do (i dont see alot of people say living humans just human) because i just think like does dieing change your species? like cujo and frostbite arent the same species ones a ghost dog the other a yeti ghost like in my mind its just that i see 'ghost' as a type of state of mortality the same way dead or living is but im pretty sure ive seen someone in a dpxdc fic call danny half human and that really confuses me because both his parents are human maybe its autism putting concepts into categories and then not being able to understand things not working but species is a biology term to talk about types of living things past/present to me the whole 'living' part excludes ghost from being a species because in dp some never where alive coming out of emotions tied to concepts and then the ones that were alive already have their own species from when they were alive dinosaurs dont stop being dinosaurs because theyre extinct sorta thing?

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as promised, the transplanting tutorial

most sources make transplanting sound incredibly difficult, but transplanting young seedlings from areas with sparse dirt, like a driveway or roadside, is actually incredibly easy and can get you some great stuff. Once I worked out the method, i've had a very high survival rate

it took me like a month of trial and error to figure this out so you don't have to.

Feel free to repost, no need for credit

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Reminder that the only reason "hermaphrodite" is even used in biology is because some zoologists a couple hundred years ago were were too lazy to come up with a new term to talk about how snails reproduce, and instead opted to compare them to intersex people. (Which were, at the time, ONLY called hermaphrodites. The word intersex didn't exist yet.)

Hermaphrodite has referred to intersex people since before we knew what a gamete was.

It wouldn't fucking kill you to use cosexed/cosexual, dichogamous, monoecious, gonosimulite, or whatever else to talk about animal species that have dual reproductive function. You don't need to contribute to a slur for us staying normalized.

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Being a weird little girl as a kid provides two options to you: becoming transgender or becoming a weird adult woman. Both of which are things the world needs more of

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Honorary Member

Danny as a honorary member of the Outlaws, while Dan is an actual member.

The on going bit is Dan complaining about Danny working with the Outlaws cause 'you didn't even break any law why are you here?'

To that, Danny always replies with something like 'well I jaywalked today.' 'I'm an illegal entity, so.' 'ran a red light though.'

Then as a unexpected plot twist, the rest of the team discovers that despite their banter, Dan is the one with a spotless record, since his major crimes are committed either in another world or before he gets his human body/identity.

It's Danny that has multiple wanted posters in his name, as both Phantom and Fenton, across two realms even.

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in this case talia might decide that no madder what is happening in the league it might be more dangerous for danny to be an ocean away from a lazaurs pit and so part of why damian absulotly does not want to talk about him is because he sees why danny should stay within a certain distance of a accessible lazuraus pit as often as possible if not always and knows that talking about him around the batfam would either result in 1- them mourning his still living brother and most likely being subjected to talks about loosing family to death permanently or 2- bruce trying to fight the league for danny to be in gotham and danny actually dieing without being able to get to a pit before his body is a corpse for to long because the explanation of if he leaves he will actually die for real not coming back this time would be very hard to sell as something not a effect of cult programming though he may fill jason in when they are in private and other members wont overhear or 'overhear'-spy on

DPxDC Al Ghul Twins Quick Thought

Jason, visiting the manor the first time after Damian showed up: *does a double take* Where's the second one?

Damian, stopping in his tracks and looking him dead in the eye: Dead.

Jason, rolling his eyes but dropping the subject: Alright.

The entire Batfam:

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going with just the infographics meanings (and thus risking interpretations that are not theologically sound) and a different rb showing danny's starting just a little to low to assume the heart

i think going with the cores placement being related to chakra to be pretty interesting because you would have vlad having the root linked to energy stability comfort safety and identity being-

which does fit very well with valds character being very focused on chasing stability safety comfort and strong identity and having the energy and power to put everything into it like he wants to be the richest man so he can have the safety in his isolated castle built for defense and stability and comfort that comes from being able to buy them and does define himself as a rich guy that loves the packers team and in his mind should be the start of a legency with maddie and danny which not great for many many reasons is a form of identity and what he thinks he is or should be

and it would also give danny having either the heart or solar plexus-

i think im going with solar plexus though because his transformation does always seem to be more towards the middle of his torso then where the heart sits

and that would be strength personality power determination and doing and going down the list he is very strong to the point of usually going a brute force rout in his problems, has a very strong personality to the point of having been shown in the show to bring out other peoples childish personality traits by just leaning into his own childish personality traits, his character in the show only really happens because he gets powers he is very stubborn which is determination and while he does have some episodes where he struggles with identity (as in what am i? identity over being alive or a ghost) he is very secure in his identity through actions hes phantom because he fights the ghost going into amity, he thinks of himself as not smart because he fails classes, hes a very action centered character and so he more concerned with what he does

the difference between i am and i do is also seen in how vlad is very concerned with looks and public perception and danny only cares how the town thinks of phantom whenever it effects his fights because peoples thoughts and feeling dont change what someone does unless they make actions based on those thoughts and feelings but public perceptions are about what others think you are and so vlad hates it if peoples perceptions of him differ from what he wants to be seen as

While trying to figure out how the ghost transformation works, for half-ghosts...

Hey, probably the "sparkle" from where the luminous circles come is where the core of a ghost is situated! Halfa's powers come from there!

*checking the first transformation scene from Vlad*

The core is stored in... the core is... ??? Okay, nice. Good to know.

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regarding your tags of if we are looking at superman's powers being able to be blocked due to blocking aizawa blocking the absorption of yellow sun radiation then he'd be both mutant being his biology and emitter, i'm curious on your thoughts; because the way i'm looking at it is like

keeping in line with mha cannon i think meta genes should be effected and some if not all of the powers that sometimes show up in characters without meta genes (though i suppose some are more debatable like the fma alchemy crossovers) but i think that superman (and other dc aliens (assuming we arn't looking at dc aliens that have powers unique to them/only looking at the powers that are canonically because of their species biology)) wouldn't be effected by aizawa's quirk because in the mha cannon being described as 'basic human body + power(the quirk) + ability to use said power(the quirk factor)' all of superman's powers would take the place of basic kryptonian body + no extra power + no ability to use said (no extra) power instead of basic human body + kryptonian biology + ability to use kryptonian powers since yk he doesn't have a biologically human body and i think that this fits in with mha cannon since nedzu's quirk is intelligence but he has stronger senses then humans (something that's even noted as a power on fandom wiki) but it's never considered a second quirk because it is just that his species has stronger senses then humans so its included in the 'basic body' part of the equation for nedzu even if it wouldn't be included fro humans

Been looking at some MHA/BNHA stuff lately and wanted to ask…

I was looking at some DP x MHA crossover stuff because ppl think of everything, and started wondering if Aizawa’a Erasure quirk would work on things other than quirks. While I’m 90% sure his quirk description says it only erases quirks, let’s be honest, canon is an illusion. Also he wouldn’t have any powers that aren’t quirks to test it on so there’s that. I was thinking more about this and the idea is so intriguing, like if he met Danny and hypothetically could erase(or dim?) his powers, HOW WOULD THAT WORK??? Would he stop the movement of ectoplasmic energy? Maybe he just erases all ectoplasm in him(but that might not be fun for Danny)? Or would something else happen? What about DC? Would he stop Superman from filtering energy from the sun and leave him running on reserves? Would he take the magic from magic users? Maybe sever their connection temporarily??? Would martinis be temporarily stuck in a form and in a world without other minds???? GAH ITS SO INTERESTING!!!! What about my billy boi? Would he be poofed back into his street kid wear, or just be shut out from the gods powers for a bit? And WONDERWOMAN!!! Would she revert to clay???? Would aquaman suddenly drown? Sorry for rambling but it’s so AMAZING YALL!!! And MARVEL!!!! What would even happen to Steve or Bucky? And Peter too? Would he just not be able to use his spider powers??? Okay I’ll stop now but it’s SO COOL TO THINK ABOUT!!!!