exjw-safeplace

[exjw-safeplace]

I am so depressed I'm just trying to be strong but it's just really hard right now. I feel alone

[exjw-safeplace]

The concept of gender in the bible really confuses me, because I remember my mom telling me multiple times that god/angels are spirit creatures and thus have no gender. Yet God and all named angels are only ever referred to as male? Plus all the scriptures that imply women should be seen/treated as lesser leads me to one of two conclusions.

God and all angels are male, and God knowingly created a weaker variant of human whom he wanted to be oppressed.

or

The bible is wrong, and somehwere along the line someone decided that of course powerful spirit creatures would all be male. Men are the superior gender after all!

I just had to get this off my chest.

It definitely has to be a part of why and how men act like they are superior or the head. It kind of makes me sick to think about.

Because honestly never thought about it like why have we been calling God by he/him when they are technically not supposed to have some sort of gender. God is supposed to just be God.

[exjw-safeplace]

I'm just existing and tired and just trying to survive and calm myself down and than some person in my congregation comes up to me and tells me to "smile"

Genuinely how do people think this is something that helps or is good to say. Like you never know what someone is going through and it is so triggering to hear that when you are depressed.

[exjw-safeplace]

I know it's gonna make me a lot of happier when I leave probably a happiness I never experienced before in my literal life. Like I literally feel like it's gonna be like that scene from Tangled when Rapunzel leaves the tower and has all sorts of mixed emotions.

It really hurts a lot sometimes to realize at some point I'm just gonna lose like mostly everyone I know and practically my whole family. All because I don't believe the same thing as them anymore and made the stupid decision of getting baptized at 15

[exjw-safeplace]

It really hurts a lot sometimes to realize at some point I'm just gonna lose like mostly everyone I know and practically my whole family. All because I don't believe the same thing as them anymore and made the stupid decision of getting baptized at 15

[exjw-safeplace]

Autotheist by Baby Bugs on Spotify. That is all

Oh yes this is great!!

[exjw-safeplace]

Im glad that you made this

Thank you! It's always gonna be here ❤️

[exjw-safeplace]

idk if anyone's said this already, but believe me by james and the shame is really relatable to me, i can't help but cry every time i listen to it 👍

Oh my gosh you are so right.. this is such a good song thank you so much

[exjw-safeplace]

Something about certain Disney songs that just speak to me as someone who grew up as a Jehovah Witness

[exjw-safeplace]

Accidently forgot to make it a link but I fixed it

Since I am active I would like to share my big playlist it's still actively being updated. But I have been making a huge playlist of music that just screams ex jw to me. Music is a big love language to me so here you all are ❤️

[exjw-safeplace]

Since I am active I would like to share my big playlist it's still actively being updated. But I have been making a huge playlist of music that just screams ex jw to me. Music is a big love language to me so here you all are ❤️

[exjw-safeplace]

I need to do this while drunk so sorry about the bad English since isn't my mother tongue but

A few days ago I realized that my depression might be turning into terminal depression because I realized that I don't get panicks attacks when the Great tribulation is mentioned, since I was a child I used to get so distressed and scared that in a certain way that was one of the bigest reasons I turned up suicidal I remember being a little child and spend all my childhood sleeping a few hours because I was so scared I cried and couldn't sleep without spendiing hours reading the 1970-2000 collection of awake! And watchtower magazines that my parents had I knew I wasn't a good child and God was going to kill me and I will never see my mom again and also we would suffer the great tribulation before that, so that along with my family abuse and their negative to me studying high school and university even when I turned up pimo and I was supposed to "get over" my fear to the great tribulations I still used to get panick attacks over that being an adult and I couldn't tell my friends because they didn't take me seriously

Some days ago my dad as always wake us by putting a watchtower article about the last days and the great tribulation and I didn't feel anything

But I knew that it wasn't because I was over my fear, Is just that I'm so desensitized about any suffering that I don't care, just I'm so desensitized about my abuse that I don't care what happens to me.

I can't tell this to my few internet secular friends, they don't care but maybe here someone care

Oh that numbing feeling.. it's so not fun. Something I noticed when our brain goes through something over and over our brains sometimes will do that as a way to protect us in a way.

I am so sorry you have been not listened to or felt like no one will care. Just know I care that fear is genuinely such a genuine fear and can traumatize us. No one especially a child should be put through all of that. You don't need to "get over it" if it was that simple than it wouldn't be causing you that much hurt. Your fears are very real and should be listened to and heard.

[exjw-safeplace]

It’s so hard to see people misplace their worry. They will do and say things out of love, out of worry, and genuinely think they’re helping. And when you try to tell them they’re hurting you they won’t listen because they’re blind. They think you’re hurting yourself by distancing yourself from what’s hurt you. Just because it helped them, doesn’t mean it’ll help me. It hasn’t. It’s actively made things worse. So please let me leave instead of shaming me into staying because you think you know what’s best for me.

Oh I definitely feel this.. like just let us be ourselves and do what we need to do. They act like they know us more. So sorry you are going through this

[exjw-safeplace]

Being PIMO (physically in, Mentally out) is the threshold to freedom. It is the bravery of questioning your universal truths. It is the practice of critical thinking and opening to new, better beliefs. Yes, it's scary to still physically be within an organization, but once you learn to trust your gut and rely on your own understanding, you are at the threshold to freedom

[exjw-safeplace]

Jehovah's witnesses: the entire world is evil and needs to be destroyed

People in real life: hey man how's it going

[exjw-safeplace]

Hey, just as a recommendation, maybe you should take your main blog out of your bio, just in case any JWs find this blog, they won’t be able to harass you there

Ok thank you for the recommendation that is a good point we really don't want that. Thank you

[exjw-safeplace]

i (pimo) swear sometimes i start doubting my own doubt and then i find out a known predator is my congregation and my dad was pulled aside and the only reason i know is because we went over stuff and my parents told us (me, teen, and my TEN YEAR OLD BROTHER) why. like this isnt apostate media.

That's a big thing with me as a pimo as well constantly am doubting myself.

But you are right it isn't apostate media to find information on predators in the congregation. They have twisted the meaning of apostate in like this very annoying way. Like it wasn't so called "apostates" that woke me up it's the way the organization handles things that woke me up. Because if you are the "one true religion" I really refuse to believe that you would be hiding all this stuff because you are afraid of looking bad. Like you look worse by hiding predators.