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yeah ableist abuse from abled people is traumatizing but there's something uniquely hellish about ableist abuse from other disabled people.

and i dont say this to downplay abuse from abled people at all. i just mean it's an utter mind fuck when even other disabled people treat you like a broken mistake who's just lazy and selfish, put you into dangerous or distressing situations, etc.

you're left feeling completely alone in the world and that there's something uniquely wrong with you, specifically. not just you as a disabled person. you, all of you, as if your entire existence is just wrong.

you have an especially hard time understanding you are truly disabled, because other disabled people have taught you, specifically you, that it doesn't fucking matter. limits, wants, needs - none of them are real to you anymore, cause no one else saw them as real. not even the people who should understand.

so all you're left with is a deep rooted sense of shame about your literal existence as a lifeform. but it's not meant to be like that. you're you, and disability is a spectrum. there's nothing wrong with you. the fact other disabled people don't understand that says more about them than it ever will about you.

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images that only make sense to people going to summerslam 2024

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Rap is often misogynist. Hey what’s the plot to that panic at the disco track

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can we talk about how dehumanising it is when a doctor tells a patient to crawl through their house when they ask to get a wheelchair.

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You deserve people who love you with your disability, not despite it. You deserve people who believe you. You deserve people more than willing to learn about your condition(s) because they want to understand and know how to support you. Who don't hold their help over you or treat you like you're in constant debt to them. Who are never ashamed of or embarrassed of you for your conditions, symptoms, appearance, mobility aids, or level of ability. whose questions are always well intentioned and never used to interrogate or use against you later. Who don't compare you to others whether to imply that you're too sick and therefore not good enough or in an attempt to call you a liar.

You deserve people who will never abandon you because you're disabled. Never joke about you in a way that you have not expressed you are okay with. Who don't call you a burden or imply you to be one. Who don't complain that their time with you is boring because you can't do enough. Who never compare you to how you used to be or try to "fix" you. Who never take advantage of your dependence on them. You deserve good people in your life and you don't have to settle for less because it's the best you can get or deserve. You deserve better and there are people that give a shit, I promise

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there's something so raw and soul crushing about spending your late childhood+teen years suicidal then growing up and actually wanting to live, after an ungodly effort, only to see your health deteriorate because of chronic illness.

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it’s okay to do things that make your symptoms worse (as long as you’ll stay safe)

every once in a while you need to eat something yummy. or go on a walk. or a trip to the zoo. take a hot shower. cry your eyes out. dance. listen to music. draw for way to long. write. laugh. sit in a cafe with a friend. paint your nails. dye your hair. go on a run. pet a cat

sometimes you need to do things that are cathartic or make yourself feel alive. sometimes you need the reminder of why you’re fighting so hard to stay alive

this is your reminder that just because it makes your symptoms worse, it isn’t always the wrong thing to do. there can be value in these actions

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One half of the two-ring psycho circus tangled web deathmatch. 

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I woke up early this morning, very early…like 11.

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huge fan of disgusting. massive supporter of gross and nasty

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