expectnothinggetless

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[throws a meat cleaver at you and misses] [throws a meat cleaver at you and misses] [throws a meat cleaver at you and misses] Dude stay still jesus christ [throws a meat cleaver at you and misses] [throws a meat cleaver at you and misses] [throws a meat cleaver at you and misses]

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Sometimes, I lay on the beach and wonder how long the wind would take to bury me. today I think it'd be like 3 hours

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I think that copy of undertale is now legitimately a holy relic.

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I live in a great place for bird watching if the birds you like watching are seagulls. Luckily for me seagulls are pretty entertaining.

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Soda is now predominantly sold in cans, so anyone who calls it "pop" must use a more accurate name, crack.

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I might not post for a while, I gotta go on a journey to reclaim the mandate of heaven before they execute my remaining relatives.

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You ever pick up a fist sized rock and get transported back to the scene of the first murder for a second.

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The delivery guy dropped my pizza and fucked it all up then didnt tell me, and its taking all the worker solidarity in my body to not try and get that guy fired.

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I feel like we should start naming doctors even more like wizards. Why are you tim harper PhD director of neurosurgery when you could be "Cephilion Sculpter of Minds"

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Whoever named oatmeal nailed it. Its definitely oats and its definitely a meal. The name is just as bland as the thing it describes.

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I still can't believe scallops actually do that. I thought that spongebob just made them do that as gag until I was 19. Absolutely clownish way of moving around.

A scallop hits da bricks. Filmed in Norway. From The Norwegian Fjords: Life in the Twilights (2018).

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Rest in peace Nikola Tesla, you would have loved ripping the transformers out of microwaves.

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I love you 16 gauge galvanized steel wire. You have such amazing tensile strength.

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Being poor is weird because the stock market can collapse and i dont have to worry about it at all because i have no assets. People are freaking out they might have to live the way i do.

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civic duty

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I apparently "got in my sisters face" while 15 ft across the room from her with my back to a wall. I hate it here.