externus

[externus]

28.07.25

Summer's coming to an end, and surprisingly, my memories of it aren't just about exam prep—they're also about a night in Barcelona. We found a tavern that looked exactly like its name suggested. It was narrow, dimly lit, with a strange layout and a worn-out look. Just as we were walking up, it started to rain, and we had to run from awning to awning.

​What I liked most was the music. First, "Blackbird" suddenly came on, and then a song I used to listen to nonstop about four years ago—even though it's not very popular. We ordered tostadas, sausages, and beer (of course). I found it so strange to speak English, constantly wanting to switch to Italian. By the way, the goat cheese was something else.

​We got back after midnight, and the next morning, we were already supposed to head to the sea.

[externus]

Retrospective

​For some reason, when I go back to my hometown, the happiness I see in others feels different. It seems dimmer, and therefore, more real.

A year ago, I would have preferred something "deeper" but now I find myself missing the pure joy I felt in Italy. I used to think of it as "flat", but maybe I only called it that because I hadn't truly experienced it for what it was.

[externus]

Doing anything except physics...

[externus]

After a pause

I wasn't here for some time, yeah. The first month of my adulthood was quite tough. My boyfriend dumped me, and even though now I'm already much better, it's hard for me not to recall him at least one time a day. Especially when I'm drunk. But I guess that's normal. Unfortunately, there is probably no place in this city where he has not visited with me.

What else. Today, I have written my first chemistry test. We don't know marks yet, but don't think that mine will be perfect. At least I was doing my best. The next will be a math test, a day after tomorrow. I just don't wanna...

The weather is quite breezy again, but I like that the sun doesn't leave us yet.

This photo is already several days old. Today I was wearing the coat.

[externus]

Today's my birthday. It's so hard to believe that I'm 18 now.

P.s. I'm not bragging, but I made the cake myself.

[externus]

Day 5.

Buonasera!

I was not right in an antique shop, but it was a place with old things that could be bought for free. The real discovery for me. And this time, I took a lot of things like cute little pictures, boxes, belts, and even some clothes. More recently, I was complaining that I don't even have a blazer, and I have found one! Not tweed, but the velvet one. Very cute, I'll show you when it dries. In addition, I have found black trousers from the same material, and it looks like a costume. Want to wear it on my birthday. In 3 days I'll be 18.

P.s.: all these things on the foto are from that beautiful place. Except for the lighter.

[externus]

Day 4.

Yes, I missed a day, and perhaps even two, because I had chosen phisic, don't judge me, okay. Actually, I have written a poem, but in russian, so I don't even know if should I add it or not. But then I decided to ask Ai for translation, and the translation turned out quite normal. Well, I think so. I've never been into English poetry. So, I'm proudly introducing my cringe, inspired by my Sunday church visits this fall.

Воскресная встреча

Не в радость просыпаться утром

Когда не небе кластер тучь

И притворяется минутой

Полчас, смыкая глаз, тягучь

Но если ставни не тревожить

Сказать "спасибо" этажам

Дождаться утра и быть может

Ты встанешь в нужный час, а там

Там человек, в вагоне сонный

Омлет из лука на плите

Туман привычный, заоконный

Вопрос резонный в голове

Ступеньки, спешка, след тепла

Вскочи на свой велосипед

Который ржавчина взяла

И наизусть уже сюжет

Любимых песен повтори

Их напевая по дороге

Сперва щебёнка, но вдали

Река в осенней поволоке

Проходит месса не спеша

Ты шутишь, молкнешь, лёгкий стыд

Розарий держит не дыша

Мария. И опять звенит.

Sunday Encounter

It's no joy to wake up in the morn

When the sky is filled with clouds forlorn

And a minute seems like half an hour

As you close your eyes, time has the power

But if you don't stir the blinds

Say "thank you" to the floors you find

Wait for the morning and maybe

You'll rise at the right time, and see

There's a person, sleepy in the train

An onion omelet on the flame

The usual fog, beyond the window pane

A reasonable question in your brain

Steps, a rush, a trace of warmth's delight

Hop on your bicycle, take flight

Which rust has claimed, it's true

And you already know the story through

Repeat the lyrics of your favorite songs

Singing them as you make your way

First gravel, but in the distance along

A river in autumn's haze, it lay

The mass passes by, unhurried and slow

You joke, then fall silent, a gentle glow

The rose garden holds its breath, it's clear

Maria. And again, a sound rings near

[externus]

Day 3.

Okay, I don't have a tweed blazer. Sono al verde, because I'm just a foreign student. But I tried to make the most dark academia outfit that I could. Maybe not very impressive, but pretty warm, the cardigan is made from wool.

This post will be short because that's late evening, and I still haven't done my homework yet. Moreover I have to wake up early tomorrow. At least the landlord of my apartment brought a full jar of coffee today. God save the azerbaijanis🙏

[externus]

Day 2.

This day was full of things to do. I had italian lessons at the morning in one university building and then phisic lessons in another(across town). So I'm glad that today's task was that simple. I have an app from Google, I guess. It's called Art&Culture, and it is quite useful. In a few minutes, I found this beautiful painting of Joaquin Sorolla. He was a Spanish painter known for his impressionistic works celebrated for their luminous colors, fluid brushstrokes, and ability to evoke a sense of warmth and nostalgia.

«Sewing the sail»

[externus]

Hi to everyone!

My name is Ana, and I'm in an interesting period of my life. I feel big changes in the nearest future, as I have lived my whole life already. That's a strange sense of detachment and nostalgia. So yesterday, I was scrolling my old pictures in galleria and found this. Yeah, I was a really big fan of dark academia in 2021, but obviously wasn't very well-disciplined (to do the first task and lose interest as a lifestyle). But I'd like to believe that now I'm a totally different person and I was searching for something interesting to do except my lessons. Moreover I want some memories of this time, that I could reread. So I'll give it a chance.

Day 1. I have a book with two Shakespeare's plays ("Hamlet" and "King Lear"), but i already have read them, so it wouldn't be ineresting. And since I'm studying in Italy I decided to read something related to this bel paese. I chose "Otello", have read the first act and want to say that I really like it so far. And hope that I will continue it, despite the fact that now I have three unfinished books, yeah...

P.s.: Sorry for my poor english, that's not my first language. Actually I could write it in italian to have more practices, but my language level isn't high enough for this. If I started writing in Italian, I would never have finished.