f-arenheith

[f-arenheith]

[f-arenheith]

[f-arenheith]

Apparently we’re swimming in a tar pit. Sometimes we tend to stick to each other, but only for a little while. And with every small encounter we sink deeper and deeper in this pit of endless tar, that we’ve built around our hearts. Sometimes people fall with us, we don’t just randomly stick to each other. But that’s when we sink even deeper than before. And it’s brief, painful, but for a nanosecond it feels like eating rainbow colored icecream for breakfast. I heard people spread this shit around like it’s mono: “Thank you for the tragedy, I needed it for my art”, but no one really means that crap. You can’t thank people that briefly join you in the tar pit. That’s just suicidal bullcrap that the Internet has been feeding us since we had dial-up connections. This is how people work now. Everyone is fucking damaged and no one has patience to deal with no one, because we’re all sinking in this shitty tar just like the goddamn dinosaurs. And years from now, they’ll dig into the solid ground to find ruins of all of our toxic relationships that didn’t have the guts to work out.

(via noir-lune-noir)

[f-arenheith]

Today was a day.

Ig: Lauren.bijou

[f-arenheith]

[f-arenheith]

“Loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to you.”

[f-arenheith]

[f-arenheith]

Book stack.

[f-arenheith]

if we could do nothing for once, perhaps a great silence would interrupt this sadness, this never understanding ourselves and threatening ourselves with death, perhaps the earth is teaching us when everything seems to be dead and then everything is alive. Now I will count to twelve and you keep quiet and I'll go.

[f-arenheith]

There is nothing, there is always nothing. It has to be filled with a new, fruitful space, then downward tumbles yesterday as in a well falls yesterday's water, into the cistern of all still without voice or fire. It is difficult to teach bones to disappear, to teach eyes to close but we do it unrealizing. It was all alive, alive, alive, alive like a scarlet fish but time passed over its dark cloth and the flash of the fish drowned and disappeared. Water water water the past goes on falling still a tangle of bones and of roots; it has been, it has been, and now memories mean nothing. Now the heavy eyelid covers the light of the eye and what was once living now no longer lives; what we were, we are not. And with words, although the letters still have transparency and sound, they change, and the mouth changes; the same mouth is now another mouth; they change, lips, skin, circulation; another being has occupied our skeleton; what once was in us now is not. It has gone, but if the call, we reply; "I am here," knowing we are not, that what once was, was and is lost, is lost in the past, and now will not return.

[f-arenheith]

That time was like never, and like always. So we go there, where nothing is waiting; we find everything waiting there.

[f-arenheith]

In that moment you'll have gone so far I'll wander mazily over all the earth, asking, Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?

[f-arenheith]

Things get broken at home like they were pushed by an invisible, deliberate smasher. It's not my hands or yours It wasn't the girls with their hard fingernails or the motion of the planet. It wasn't anything or anybody It wasn't the wind It wasn't the orange-colored noontime Or night over the earth It wasn't even the nose or the elbow Or the hips getting bigger or the ankle or the air. The plate broke, the lamp fell All the flower pots tumbled over one by one. That pot which overflowed with scarlet in the middle of October, it got tired from all the violets and another empty one rolled round and round and round all through winter until it was only the powder of a flowerpot, a broken memory, shining dust. And that clock whose sound was the voice of our lives, the secret thread of our weeks, which released one by one, so many hours for honey and silence for so many births and jobs, that clock also fell and its delicate blue guts vibrated among the broken glass its wide heart unsprung. Life goes on grinding up glass, wearing out clothes making fragments breaking down forms and what lasts through time is like an island on a ship in the sea, perishable surrounded by dangerous fragility by merciless waters and threats. Let's put all our treasures together -- the clocks, plates, cups cracked by the cold -- into a sack and carry them to the sea and let our possessions sink into one alarming breaker that sounds like a river. May whatever breaks be reconstructed by the sea with the long labor of its tides. So many useless things which nobody broke but which got broken anyway

[f-arenheith]

You presence is foreign, as strange to me as a thing. I think, I explore great tracts of my life before you. My life before anyone, my harsh life. The shout facing the sea, among the rocks, running free, mad, in the sea-spray. The sad rage, the shout, the solitude of the sea. Headlong, violent, stretched towards the sky.

[f-arenheith]

Sky from a ship. Field from the hills: Your memory is made of light, of smoke, of a still pond! Beyond your eyes, farther on, the evenings were blazing. Dry autumn leaves revolved in your soul.

[f-arenheith]

Privirea ei de gratii atîta s-a lovit încît în ea nimic nu mai păstrează. Şi parcă mii de gratii tot trec necontenit şi după gratii lumea încetează. Al paşilor puternici mers mărunt ce-ntr-un minuscul cerc se învîrteşte e ca un dans al forţei în jurul unui punct în care-o ameţită voinţă s-odihneşte. Dar vălul ochiului, din cînd în cînd, se-nalţă. O imagine pătrunde, prin liniştea-ncordată a trupului trecînd, şi piere-n golul inimii profunde.

[f-arenheith]

Remember how far you’ve come, not just how far you have to go. You are not where you want to be, but neither are you where you used to be.

Rick Warren (via darkroom-whore)