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It’s too late for that now

At 5 am When the world is asleep, my thoughts wake me up The silence of the night is my companion, the moon is my lover

The darkness in my room gives me enough light to write It hides me from the world, and exposes me to myself

My body shakes as my soul is trying to escape This skin is not mine, This body does not belong to me

I get up, crawl into the bathroom I look into the mirror, someone I’ve never met is looking back at me Her black eyes are soulless My body shakes The mirror, blue glass with a horrid figure Her face is white, like a corpse, hands long for a place to touch If you were to cut me open, a black void would fill the room. Try it! For you cannot kill someone who is already dead

When you find my blood stained body, do not touch me, for this darkness might consume you too

When you find my empty body, take a picture, for I’ve never felt this calm

Know, there’s a letter on my bed, a blank note, explaining exactly how I feel

Do not blame yourself, it’s too late for that now. Just tell my mom, I know she is sad. When she starts screaming, pulling her hair out, remind her that is too late for that now Even if she had listened when I told her I was sad, I’d still be sad Forbid her to blame my father, and take the beer out of his hands. Warn him about the dangers of smoking, Like I used to he won’t listen though, he never did anyway

And most important of all, hug my little sister, tell her heaven was calling Even if we both know that’s not true

On my funeral. don’t let anyone cry It’s too late for that now Where were their tears when I needed to clean the blood out of my floor? Where were their flowers when I needed to smell something other than vomit?

If someone says “I never saw that coming” Slap them “She looked so happy” Slap them again Just because you don’t pay attention, it doesn’t mean it’s not happening My mind was an ocean and I was drowing, what I wouldn’t give for a hand to reach I screamed to make you listen. but you only complained about the noise

But now the flowers keep coming, like they still have unfinished conversations, like something is left to say

All these black dressed and black smokings All these empty chairs I collected tears like stamps and sent them to you in hope you’d come It’s not your fault for not caring, It’s my own, for thinking you would

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Angelina Jolie behind the scenes of Maleficent: Mistress Of Evil

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Lost... in feelings...

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I wasn’t made for other people. I don’t know how to act. I don’t know how to be

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How do we forgive ourselves for all the things we did not become?

Button Poetry

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“My past is everything I failed to be.” ― Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet

(via 24hoursinthelifeofawoman)

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Life is too full of death for death to add anything to it.

Emil Cioran (1911-1985), from “Tears and Saints” (1937), translated from the Romanian by Ilinca Zarifopol-Johnston  (via finita--la--commedia)

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“In one kiss you’ll know all I haven’t said.”

— Pablo Neruda

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I promise I will love you as if it’s the only thing I’ve ever done correctly.

Rudy Francisco, from Helium (via buttonpoetry)

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Please understand that I get so messed up inside sometimes

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Maybe I deserve to feel the way I do.