fageleh

[fageleh]

If youre a young inexperienced queer, sit down with me. Im making you tea, cooking you dinner, and then im going to tell you something that I had to learn the hard way and had so many unnecessary falling outs and the losses of friendships that never should've been friendships in the first place over:

Just because someone is queer, doesnt mean they are a good person for you to be around. Being queer doesnt automatically make somebody a good person, an understanding person, an accepting person, or even just a good person for YOU to be around. Being queer alone is not an indicator that a friendship is either warranted or will work out. I know that you are desperate for other queer friends irl, but do not go rushing into the first queer people you meet.

Signed, a guy who did exactly that when he moved out of an authoritarian dictatorship and into a liberal democracy, was overwhelmed by the freedom i had to actually be myself and meet other people like me, only to experience horrors and drama beyond his comprehension when those rushed relationships inevitably fell out over my having a positive opinion on Jojo fucking Rabbit of all things

[fageleh]

What we saw, James Morse

[fageleh]

re: last reblog—I cannot for the life of me find fresh plums here. nobody carries them. I am distraught.

[fageleh]

hi hello remember that the plum you are going to eat next summer is growing just for you 🤍

[fageleh]

It's hard to say this without sounding like a right wing dickhead, but the thing about progressive spaces is that they may naturally attract people who are always on the lookout for excuses to start a fight. Like you can find yourself faced with someone whose political outrage is totally justified, and whose humanitarian ideals are right on the money, but simultaneously they are carrying a ton of psychological baggage about being wronged and getting revenge, and they will exploit literally any opportunity to live out this psychodrama with anyone in their line of vision. I have thought of several related anecdotes since I started typing this post, but I'll limit myself to the thing that inspired it, which is that I just visited this ultra-lefty cafe/bike shop/community gathering space where I've heard that the proprietor is constantly in a fight with everyone around her. When I paid for my stuff I noticed that there was no tip option, but I thought I had heard something about this, so I snuck away to look at the website and it made me really glad I didn't ask! I think there should have been a really enticing and exciting way for her to say "I've decided to be the change I want to see in the world, so I'm paying my baristas a full living wage, I'm making sure EVERYONE feels welcome and comfortable here, and I'm selling products I believe in!" -- but instead all the web copy sounded more like "You're either with me or against me, you're a fucking piece of shit asshole if you can't handle the inclusive atmosphere here, and by the way tipping is for fascist cavemen and if you ever try to tip someone you are refusing to relate to them authentically and you are enforcing a dangerous and evil power dynamic that should be purged from human society (so therefore I pay my staff well)." Like everything she stood for was totally agreeable, but why did she have to put it like it was directed at her worst enemy, rather than at the kinds of people she wants to attract? If the word on the street is to be believed, the reason for this posturing is that she spends quite a lot of energy making as many enemies as possible, and she probably likes it that way. I guess I'm just reminding myself, and perhaps others, that while one might think of "politics" as being broadly social and theoretical, no individual can fully separate the political from the intimately personal. Even somebody who seems to want to uplift and protect their fellow humans may be getting some perverse inner satisfaction out of that valiant crusade, and you may never realize it until you find yourself in a confusing fight with them.

[fageleh]

they teach you the golden rule, treat others how you want to be treated, but in a pinch you can apply the silver rule (be kinda selfish because you’ve earned it) or even the bronze rule (manipulate others purely for your benefit).

[fageleh]

The International Space Station (ISS) crosses in front of the Sun’s roiling chromosphere, captured in extraordinary detail by photographer Andrew McCarthy. source

[fageleh]

full version :)

[fageleh]

it's good that the word "four" is "four" letters long

[fageleh]

[fageleh]

you dumb dumbs don't need AI to come up with ideas, you just need a husband who's had 2 glasses of wine and an innate desire to make you happy.

[fageleh]

no one's doing somnophillia anymore

because of woke

[fageleh]

a chassidic tale- a young boy woke up every morning hours before he needed to be awake just to go into the woods before school. when he got home, his mother would ask him what he was doing awake so early again. he told her “i go into the woods to talk to Gd”, to which she replied “you don’t need to go to the woods for that. you know Gd is the same everywhere, right?” and the little boy said “i know. but i’m not.”

[fageleh]

I just spent all morning sitting on a riverbank and I feel like my soul got realigned.

[fageleh]

sibling relationships are so strange... like i love you. you will never understand me in a way that matters. we are the same person in drastically different ways. we are sewn together. we don't talk. we are attached at the hip. you wish i was never born. can i call you. let's eat together. i forgive you. etc

[fageleh]

hating is fun but sometimes you see someone only ever be a hater and never a lover and it's like. ok well do you like anything at all or do you only see the world in shades of bad to worse

[fageleh]

the spirit is unwilling and the flesh it feels not so good also