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i never finished this..... gideo vames

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MEN!

you have to wear this and nothing else

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A lot of people assume that you get hotter if you wear more layers but that’s only if you wear stuff made out of insulating material.

If anything people wearing modest clothing might be cooler than you are. During the summer I wear cotton or linen button ups over my t-shirts and if anything they’re shading my t-shirt from heating up.

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✨SPIN THE WHEEL TO GET YOUR CHARACTER✨

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New favorite tweet

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“He would not fucking say that” is a Schrodinger’s phrase when it comes to Batman. There is probably Batman run where he would say that. There is also probably a run where Batman would kill the other Batman for saying that.

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This is incredibly funny without context

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One of my roommates is from China and neither of us speaks the other’s language but lately when she’s in a chatty mood she comes into our kitchen and shows me these douyin Matt Damon x Ben Affleck RPF videos and puts her theories about how Ben has been pining for Matt into google translate for me to read. fujoing out transcends language barriers

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every so often i just think about how good it was that the most foolproof one-size-fits-all solution for dealing with basically any horrifyingly evil supernatural monster of the week in the magnus archives was just. burying them in concrete. like yeah i can believe that a few tons of grey brutalist slop would stop the wolfman or pretty much anything in its tracks to be honest. they use that shit on nuclear waste. do you honestly think you're stronger than a nuke? a fucking nuke?

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basically, i think the general rule of thumb is: if someone REALLY wants the blood that’s inside of your body, and they’re like… a vampire, or a dracula, or some sort of mansquito, then that’s probably okay. a dracula and a mansquito are made for removing things like blood and swords from inside your body. that’s basically fine.

if something wants to get at your blood, and they’re, say, some kind of murdersaurus, or maybe a really big frog, that’s where the problems start to arise. a really frog is not made for removing blood, and your blood knows this, which is why it is so vehement about wanting to stay IN your body instead of coming out. 

unfortunately this will not deter a really big frog, because a really big frog is full of things like prizes, and value, and quite a lot of hatred, and it would REALLY rather like to replace any and all of those things with your blood, and basically by any means possible.

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Old WIP that I never finished

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what I love about those timid handwringing “am I allowed to breathe air???” types is sometimes a miracle will happen and something in their brains will snap and you can watch them kill the hall monitor in their heads with a shovel

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for me to like a character one thing they have to be is highly hurtable

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I love seasonal fruits they're like girl we're back lol