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*knock knock*

Got something on amnesia? Love your blog btw!

Hi, thank you so much :)

How to write amnesia

types of amnesia:

two main types

Anterograde Amnesia: inability to create new memories, remembers the past before the injury; causes: injury to hippocampus, stroke, trauma, alcoholism, surgery

Retrograde Amnesia: inability to remember past memories, can form new memories after injury, recent past most affected, childhood memories often still there; causes: damage to different parts of the brain, stroke, drug abuse, head trauma

other forms (there are a lot more)

Dissociative Amnesia: (retrograde) lasts hours or days, can forget personal information or a traumatic experience for a short amount of time; causes: psychological trauma, emotional stress, brain trying to ‘save’ itself from harmful memories

Post-Traumatic Amnesia: can be antero- or retrograde, accompanied by other injuries to the brain; causes: trauma, injury to the head

What do they remember?

people will mostly still remember how to do things, because memories get stored in different parts of the brain and so depending on the injury/trauma different kinds of memories are affected

Procedural memory: remembering how to do things

Episodic memory: remembering events you’ve experienced

Semantic memory: remembering facts

How to write it?

Why do you need amnesia in your story? Make sure it makes sense and doesn’t come across as an easy way to move your story forward. Make sure you have more than amnesia as a plot point.

Who has amnesia and from what perspective is the reader seeing it? Is it the main character or a side character? How big is the impact of the amnesia for the story and for the reader?

Has the reader more information than the person with amnesia? Especially with anterograde amnesia the character would forget new memories again and the reader will still remember them. But even with retrograde amnesia you could give the reader information that the amnesiac character would try to remember, but can’t.

What kind of amnesia does the character have and how did they get it? In most media I’ve seen people have retrograde amnesia because of head injuries or traumatic experiences. Don’t make it too cliche and try to take this very real condition and give it your own unique spin to get the reader interested.

How does the character live without their memories? With anterograde amnesia they would depend a lot on routine and their friends/family to get through their daily life, because they would forget everything that recently happened. With retrograde amnesia they would probably live a normal life, but missing even a short amount of time from your memories can be very traumatic. This depends on the character, but it can lead to anxiety and some people would always feel insecure about the time they lost.

Does the character get their memories back? This only really works if the brain wasn’t too damaged. A second blow to the head isn’t always the way to go. Most memories just come back after some time, but some never do. Anterograde amnesia doesn’t ‘save’ new memories anymore and makes it impossible to get to them. If you want them to come back with retrograde amnesia, try to create a scenario that makes the character remember what they forgot, like a smell or sound or feeling, or let them get therapy that could unblock memories that the brain tried to hide if it was a psychological cause. Hypnosis also proves helpful for some patients.

Do your research. With every medical condition it’s important to do your research, especially when you’re writing in a realistic setting.

Hope this is what you had in mind and I wish you good luck with your writing!

- Jana

>> Two posts I came across while doing research which could be helpful as well: The Basics of Writing Amnesia and A Writer’s Guide to Amnesia

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I find it funny that guys will see me and say “hola!”

And then look disappointed when I reply in English, “hello!”

Sorry not sorry but I’m Samoan 💁🏻‍♀️

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“Life, even with Jesus, is hard. And life, especially with Jesus, is unfathomably beautiful.”

— Angela Nazworth

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Brianna | @thehoneydesignco

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I would have loved you forever ❤🥀

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Testing the waters... or floating in it

Dating apps... not really my thing but with the past year being life altering in addition to a pandemic, i thought, why not? lol Seriously, that’s what my answer was to many people.

I have never been a fan of online dating, or swiping right OR left on people, or blind dates but many of my friends and some family members are concerned about my love life... or lack of. But because life has thrown me curve ball after curve ball, I decided that I am going to give it a shot.

I want to be clear, I am perfectly content with being single, and feel that when it happens it happens. But for some reason other people are not, as if them being in relationships makes me feel incomplete. Couldn’t be any more true. I feel like that person in the movie, who is loving their life or at least liking it, and everyone including the dying grandma keeps trying to match her with anyone of the opposite sex, and because it’s been a while they sometimes offer to hook her up with someone of the same sex. And not that I’m offended by it but I am completely strictly dickly lol. 

I have my reservations about dating apps because honestly, it’s weird. It’s scary. It’s risky due to Corona virus... and did I mention I have cancer? No? Well I do. 

I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer last October, and after completing my round with radiation, I am now getting ready to have a FULL HYSTERECTOMY to remove the remaining tumor. For some reason in my mind, I feel like part of my womanhood is being taken away, so while I still have it, I figured i’d “test the water.” 

Now, I know I don’t have to tell people that I have cancer but there are other things that worry me about dating. To put it kindly, people are freaking weirdos.

I have been on a few dates with different guys, and let me tell you how different things have gotten since my 20s. So for all my respectable and intelligent women/men out there wanting to try dating here are a few suggestions:

1. Doesn’t need to be said but apparently for me it does... MEET SOMEONE IN PUBLIC lol 

My first date with BOY1, he offered to take me on the lake, just him and I on his little motorboat. Now as romantic and “Notebook” worthy as this sounds, I was excited. I was ready. We’ve been texting back and forth for a little over a week. But the days following up to our date got me thinking... What if I don’t like him? What if he’s crazy? And I’ll be stuck on a boat with JUST HIM, in the middle of the lake, until it’s over. So please, meet in public and not in the middle of the lake.

2. Anyone who asks you to send “sexy pics” is just asking for a quick hit it and quit it. NOT that I did it. But I was alarmed by how many d*ck pics were sent to me without request, or want (If you are into that, more power to you but that’s not something I want to see) LOL 

I was texting back and forth with BOY2 who thought I’d be impressed by his “romance” through the phone. Kept asking me to send him photos every day. I didn’t mind, sending him a photo here and there of me going out, playing with my dog, or just random. I think I literally sent him three. But once the “sexy pics” requests got to be more, I told him I needed to at least know him and go on a couple of dates before any of that happened. And guess what, we went on a date, and for the most part it was fine. Then, when the insinuation that we were going to “hook up” back at his place didn’t happen for him, he became needy and kept asking “what went wrong?” or “are you mad at me?” or “why am I leading him on?” I told him I’m not that girl and he said okay. So, I ghosted him after he asked for another sexy pic, I sent him a gif of a hippo lol and left it at that.

3. Be okay with saying no. Whether it be to a date, a picture, an exchange of phone numbers or social media, it’s not your job to make someone happy when you are not comfortable. 

I didn’t realize it until it happened, but when BOY3 suggested that I come lay with him after one “hello” I quickly let him know I wasn’t that easy lol. He got defensive and was just like “I just think your beautiful and I just say what I want.” Of course he used a few colorful words to get his point across. And I told him he can take his words elsewhere. Although I feel like a prune lol I also feel like woman are made to feel like we need to coddle boys who don’t know how to talk to women with respect. I mean, could you at least say “Hey how are you?”  Now some people told me that’s just how people talk to each other, and I said, “well I guess I’ll be single forever.” And I don’t mind. I am not going to lower my standards, or compromise my comfort for someones lack of respect. If that’s how you want to talk, then find someone willing to put up with it. It ain’t this girl.

4. Never, and I mean NEVER stress about how you look for your profile picture. Don’t put too much stock into your filtered photos. Honestly, I put full body photos up, even though a lot of my friends said they would never do that. I put some pictures that had sc filters with the ears, or regular photos up. I put a little bit of me up.

I am a very confident woman who understands her flaws. With all my plus size happiness and glamour, I knew I was just having fun. Plus if he don’t like you sweetie, you don’t need to worry about him. Because you’ll never meet him lol. Now, with that said, sure I have my moments where I feel crappy. But I just feel if you aren’t happy with who you are, you won’t be secure in a relationship. And since I was just “testing the waters” I didn’t really care of which photos were there to be judged. Or so I thought...

BOY4 was kind and sweet. He was also a very handsome man who apparently loved big girls (his words not mine) he made me feel very comfortable. He’s 6′6, and we all know your girl is a sucker for a tall man. He was also fit in a sense that you could tell he worked out but not so much that he was ripped. I had my reservations about meeting him, because I thought I was being cat-fished lol until we exchanged numbers and sent snaps to each other before actually going on a date. We have gone on a few lunch and dinner dates here and there, still talk to each other, but I am slowly pulling away because of the last advice.

5. Know what you want and respect what others want. And always be honest about your intentions...

After talking back and forth with BOY4 and sharing things. You quickly get to know someone. Although I would never force myself or my views on someone, I expect the same respect. BOY4 started to share a little about what he wants for his future. You know, the whole finding someone to marry, travel with, and have kids...

I can’t have kids. Remember the whole living with cancer and getting ready to have a hysterectomy? For those of you who don’t know what that means, it just means, as a woman, my surgeon will be taking away my baby making machine. Now, I’ve accepted my future and I know that that’s not the only way to have a child. But I also know that these types of conversations are hard for some people to grasp. I would love to one day meet someone, get married, carry a child, but that’s just not the hand that was dealt to me. That’s also not something that I can hide from someone and trick them into understanding after they’ve developed feelings for me. So I was honest with everything... at least surface base. But we’ll see what happens from here on out...

Also, just to let you know, I’ve deleted the dating apps. It’s not for me. I know many people who’ve married people they’ve met on dating apps/sites but I just don’t think it’s something for me. Also, if I have another friend who keeps setting me up on blind dates, I am going to have to think of getting new friends lol

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People keep telling me I can’t call my diet a diet, I have to call it a life style and it’ll help me alter my views on it... like ALL of a sudden I say life choice and these nasty cardboard bars are going to taste like cheese burgers? Like are my shakes going to taste like a caramel macchiato? NO? Then don’t tell me what to call it! 🤣✌🏻🧟‍♀️

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For more writing by Michael Faudet please click here

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For more writing by Michael Faudet click here 

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I just want you. Your messy morning hair. Your humming when you’re making breakfast. Your cuddling during thunderstorms. Your hand holding mine as we gaze at the stars. Your good days. Your bad. Your everything. I want you.