" what can i say? i'm optimistic to a fault ,,artist / đłď¸âđ
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All American-Bitch



Pairing Bucky Barnes x F!Reader
Synopsis Sheâs the Avengersâ perfect little Barbie: glowing, charming, untouchable. The media loves her. The tabloids fetishize her. And she smiles, nods, and answers dumb questions like a pro⌠She takes it all. And then she punches lockers, screams into towels, and rants in the quietâsafe only because Bucky is there to watch, listen, and maybe even join in.
Word Count 10k
Themes + Warnings D1 Crashout energy (rightfully so) , Slow-Burn Romantic Tension (COULD BE ROMANTIC OR PLATONIC) , Media/Societal Pressure , Anger / Rage Outbursts , Media / Objectification Themes
DISCLAIMER the skin color in the photos do not represent THE READER its pure aesthetic, the reader is up to your imagination!
â All American-Bitch I don't get angry when I'm pissed, I'm the eternal optimist! I scream inside to deal with it!
M. list | Request (Open but slow)
You were sunshine.
Thatâs what everyone said, anyway. The sunshine of the Avengers. The easygoing one. The optimist. The one who could take Steveâs stubborn silence, Tonyâs biting sarcasm, and Thorâs booming arrogance and turn it into something like camaraderie. You were the smile when things got dark, the soft voice in the middle of shouting, the polite laugh that kept reporters from asking too many uncomfortable questions.
And God, you were good at it. Too good.
Which was exactly why no one noticed that you wanted to slam your head against the conference table twenty minutes into todayâs strategy meeting.
âTony, your plan doesnât account forââ Steve started, voice sharp and clipped.
Tony immediately cut him off with a dramatic sigh. âCap, my plan always accounts for your what-ifs. Youâre just too paranoid to admit it.â
âParanoid? Iâm thorough.â
âOh yeah? Tell me again how âthoroughâ went last time whenââ
Here we go again.
You plastered on the brightest smile you could manage and slid neatly between the two of them before Steveâs jaw could lock any tighter or Tony could launch into another ten-minute monologue. âAlright, alright, letâs all take a breath,â you said, voice light, hands held up in mock surrender. âSteve, youâve got a point about structure, but Tonyâs right tooâsometimes improvising is necessary. Maybe we can⌠I donât know, try not to kill each other in the process?â
A couple of strained chuckles. Tension diffused. Another victory for The Sunshine of the Avengersâ˘.
Except under the table, your nails dug crescents into your palm.
Your eye twitched. Just a little. No one noticed.
The meeting dragged on. And on. And on.
Every time you opened your mouth, it was to smooth something over. Wanda sat quietly in her chair, eyes downcast, lost in her own little bubble. Nat didnât need to step inâNat was Nat. Everyone already took her seriously. She had that edge, that presence, the kind of sharpness that warned people not to cross her.
You? You were approachable. Gentle. The teamâs little burst of sunlight.
Which apparently meant you were also the goddamn babysitter.
âThor, please donât throw Mjolnir at the table just to make a point.â âSam, can we not place bets on who would win in a cage fight during a tactical debrief?â âYes, Clint, youâre very funny, but maybe stop balancing pencils on your nose while Furyâs talking.â
Every word out of your mouth was met with a laugh or a nod, never taken seriously, never respected like Steveâs hard-edged commands or Natâs quiet input. You were comic relief. The peacemaker.
It took everything not to roll your eyes so hard theyâd fall out of your skull. You wanted to snapâtell them to stop acting like teenage boys fighting over a group project. Instead, you smiled again, the picture of patience, while your pencil snapped clean in two between your fingers. No one noticed. No one ever did.
You quickly bent your head, scooping the two halves into your lap before anyone could notice. Exceptâ
Blue eyes flicked toward you from across the table. Bucky.
You pretended not to see him.
By the time the meeting finally ended, your jaw ached from clenching your teeth through another round of âletâs argue about nothing for two hours.â You escaped to your room the moment you could, pacing the floor like a caged animal.
It wasnât even anger at Steve or Tony anymoreâit was the gnawing frustration of having to be the one who never lost it. The âperfectâ one. The calm one.
Did Wanda ever feel this? Did Nat?
Wanda had her own world, her own shadows. People let her drift on the edges. She wasnât expected to smile and laugh and play nice every damn minute. Nat? Nat could shoot a glare and silence a room. You envied that. You envied the way she didnât have to earn respect with a grin and a joke.
Meanwhile, you? You were the sunshine. Sweet. Approachable. Optimistic.
You wanted to scream.
You didnât sleep. Of course you didnât.
Instead, you found yourself wandering into the kitchen in the middle of the night, bare feet silent against the tile, chasing the hope that tea might calm the restless storm in your chest.
The overhead lights were too harsh, so you didnât turn them on. The soft glow from the fridge was enough, washing the counters in pale light as you clattered a mug down a little harder than necessary.
ââTake a breath,ââ you mocked under your breath, rummaging through the cabinets for tea. ââBe patient.â Yeah, sure. God forbid I actually say what Iâm thinking. No, no, gotta be perfect. Gotta be sweet. Gotta be the goddamn sunshine.â
The kettle clicked as it heated. You paced, muttering.
âThey donât even see me. Iâm just⌠the smile. The prop. The one who makes it all look pretty while they tear each otherâs throats out. Sunshine, sunshine, sunshineââ
âYou always talk to yourself this much, doll?â
You froze.
Bucky Barnes stood in the doorway, arms crossed, hair messy from sleepâor the lack of it. His voice was low, quiet, not mocking. Just curious.
You hadnât even heard him come in.
Heat crawled up your neck. âIâI wasnâtââ you started, fumbling for words. âI was justââ
âRanting?â His mouth quirked, not quite a smile. âSounded like ranting.â
You swallowed, mortified. Great. Just great. Out of all people to catch you spiraling at two in the morning, it had to be the man with a permanent scowl and more trauma than anyone on the team.
âForget you heard anything,â you muttered, reaching for the kettle. âIt was nothing.â
Bucky didnât move. Didnât smirk. Didnât tease. He just walked forward, slow and deliberate, plucking another mug from the cabinet. He set it beside yours like it was the most natural thing in the world.
âNot nothing,â he said simply. âBut Iâm not asking.â
You blinked at him, thrown off. He wasnât mocking you. He wasnât pitying you. He was just⌠there.
When the kettle clicked off, he poured the water for you before you could stop him, then poured his own. You both stood there in the quiet kitchen, steam curling between you.
He didnât fill the silence with words. Didnât pry.
And for the first time all day, you didnât feel like you had to smile.
You were already tired before training even started.
The debrief had run late, you hadnât slept, and Steveâs motivational pep talk felt more like a lecture than encouragement. But you smiled, stretched, and cracked a joke about how Clint owed you coffee if you knocked him on his ass again.
Sunshine. Always sunshine.
âAlright, pair off,â Steve ordered, clapping his hands.
Of course you ended up with Sam.
âCâmon, sunshine,â Sam drawled, rolling his shoulders. âLetâs see what youâve got today.â
You forced a smile, even as your jaw tightened. He always called you that. Sometimes it felt affectionate, other times like a jab at the role youâd been boxed into. Sunshine, dollface, sweetheart. Anything but soldier.
The spar started fine. Quick footwork, sharp counters. You landed a clean strike that made him grunt. For a moment, you felt goodâsharp, capable, like theyâd have to notice your skill this time.
Then he started talking.
âYou know,â Sam puffed, dancing out of reach with that smug grin, âyouâre real good at smoothing things over. Likeâwhen Starkâs about to blow a gasket? Youâre always right there. I feel for your every little issue, you know? You just know what to say.â
He chuckled like it was a compliment.
Your teeth ground together. Every little issue?
You swung harder, aiming for his ribs. He blocked, still grinning. âHey, heyâdonât get mad, sweetheart. Iâm just saying youâve got a gift. I know just what you mean half the time, but you say it better. You make it sound⌠nice.â
There it was again. Nice. Easy. Sweet.
Your fist connected with his shoulder harder than necessary. His eyes widened, and you saw the flicker of surpriseâthen amusement.
âWhoa,â he laughed, shaking it off. âDidnât know you had that in you.â
And thatâs when you almost lost it.
Because of course he didnât know. Of course none of them knew. Youâd done nothing but fight tooth and nail to prove you belonged here, and stillâstillâyou were just a face, a body, a fucking visual. The perfect, all-American bitch with the easy smile. Pretty enough to put on the cover of a magazine, harmless enough to make into a joke.
Not a fighter. Not a soldier.
Just⌠sunshine.
Your hands shook as you reset your stance. Wandaâs gaze flicked toward you from across the mats, her brows pinching. She knew. She always knew when you were on the edge, when the storm was building under your skin. Sheâd tried to ease you before, to breathe calm into your chaos, and you always brushed her off.
Iâm fine. That was your line. That was your role.
But you werenât fine. Not right now.
Nat leaned against the wall, arms crossed, smirking like she was watching the start of a movie. Sheâd been waiting for thisâfor you to finally crack, to finally stop swallowing your fire and let it burn.
And God, you wanted to.
âEasy,â Steveâs voice cut through, firm and commanding. âYouâre not here to hurt your teammates.â
You froze, chest heaving. Steveâs gaze pinned you in placeâstern but well-meaning, like he was reminding a kid to use their inside voice.
He meant well. He always did. And that made it worse.
âI know you like to make light of the darkness,â Steve said, softer now, almost fond. âThatâs good. We need that. But donât lose focus.â
Light of the darkness. Thatâs all you were to them, wasnât it?
The laugh. The easy one. The prop to make their sharp edges palatable. Never the blade. Never the weapon.
You bit your tongue, forced a nod, and stepped back. âYes, sir.â
Training went on. You held it together, barely, every nerve screaming.
The moment training ended, you bolted.
You made it to the locker room, yanked your towel from the bench, and slammed a locker so hard the metal rattled.
Your chest heaved. Your vision blurred.
You pressed the towel to your face and screamed. A sound ripped from deep in your chest, raw and ragged, a noise you didnât even recognize as your own.
It wasnât enough.
Another scream tore out of you, shaking your whole body. The towel muffled it, but not by much. It was primal, ugly, the kind of scream that scraped your throat raw.
âYeah, you know me,â you gasped between heaves, pacing like a caged animal. âGot sun in my motherfucking pocket, best believe. Always smiling. Always easy. Always perfect. FUCKââ
You threw the towel down, hands in your hair, pulling until your scalp burned.
âIâm not sunshine,â you spat, voice breaking. âIâm not your fucking sweetheart, Iâm not your Barbie doll, Iâm not yourââ The words broke into another scream, louder this time, echoing off the lockers.
You kicked the bench hard enough to send it screeching against the floor. Punched the locker until your knuckles ached. Pressed your forehead against the cool metal and sobbed, breaths coming in sharp, ugly gasps.
All of itâthe fake smiles, the dismissive compliments, the headlines, the way Steveâs disappointment still felt like judgment even when he meant wellâit crashed down on you at once. Years of swallowing it. Years of being perfect.
And now you were shattering.
âYâknow,â a low voice drawled, âthat towel didnât do anything to you.â
You whipped around, heart lurching.
Bucky Barnes stood in the doorway, arms crossed, his expression unreadable. He mustâve walked in mid-scream.
Mortification flooded you. âShit,â you muttered, fumbling for the towel, hiding your face. âIâI wasnâtââ
âYelling into fabric?â His brow lifted, deadpan. âYeah. I do that too.â
You froze.
He didnât laugh. Didnât mock. Didnât smirk like Sam wouldâve. He just said it plain, like it was the most normal thing in the world.
âYouâŚâ you swallowed hard. âYou do?â
âNot always a towel,â he said, stepping further into the room. âSometimes a pillow. Sometimes a wall.â His mouth twitched, like he almost found it funny. âWalls usually lose.â
A breathless laugh broke out of you before you could stop it. Not the sweet, polite laugh you gave the team, but a raw one, jagged and a little unhinged.
The tension in your chest loosened, just a little.
He didnât move closer, didnât press. He just leaned against the lockers, arms still cro ssed, watching you with that steady, quiet gaze.
âDoesnât mean youâre weak,â he said after a beat. âMeans youâre human.â
You looked at him thenâreally lookedâand realized he wasnât saying it for you. He was saying it for himself too.
For a long beat, the locker room was silent except for your uneven breathing.
Then you nodded. Not perfect, not sunshineâjust a raw, shaky nod.
And for the first time in a long time, you didnât feel crazy for wanting to scream.
It wasnât supposed to go like this.
It was supposed to be clean, simple. Sweep the Hydra outpost, secure the files, get out. Thatâs what Fury said. Thatâs what Steve said. Thatâs what you told yourself when you forced your smile in place before stepping into the quinjet.
But missions never go like theyâre supposed to.
The second the team hit the ground, chaos cracked through the plan like lightning splitting a tree.
It started with one wrong turn.
One miscommunication, one slip in the comms, and suddenly the whole mission went sideways. Hydra remnants were supposed to be boxed in, but somehow the perimeter collapsed and the team spent the next thirty minutes in pure chaosâducking fire, shouting over each other, improvising plans.
You didnât flinch. Not outwardly.
You smiled into the comms, kept your tone even, made a joke about âSaturday night trafficâ when the escape route clogged with enemy trucks. You cracked a laugh when Tony muttered about Steveâs âoutdated tactical playbook.â You even laid a hand on Wandaâs shoulder when she started panicking, grounding her while your own pulse hammered at a dangerous pace.
Tony complained about Steveâs âstone age comms protocols.â
Steve barked back about Tonyâs âreckless improvisation.â
Sam swooped in with a sarcastic, âAre we fighting Hydra or each other?â
And youâstuck in the middleâkept the smile plastered on your face, even as your temples throbbed.
âHey,â youâd said into the comms, tone deliberately light, âletâs save the loversâ quarrel until after weâre not dodging gunfire, yeah?â
It got a huff of laughter from Wanda, at least. Even Natasha smirked faintly before leaping into the fray. But Steve and Tony? Still at each otherâs throats, even while fighting.
You wanted to scream right then. Just rip the comm out of your ear and scream.
Sunshine. Always sunshine.
Instead, you ducked a bullet, grit your teeth, and kept the âperfect teammateâ mask cemented in place.
By the time the Hydra agents were scattered and the files secured, your nerves were singed raw. mission technically accomplishedâyou were fraying at the edges. But you didnât show it.
Everyone else argued their way down the street toward the exfil point, voices ricocheting in your skull.
âI told you we shouldâve flankedââ Steve started.
âYeah, and I told you your tactics are older than dial-upââ Tony cut in.
You wanted to scream. You wanted to tear into both of them, because youâd watched the plan unravel, and youâd patched it together in real time, but nobody noticed. Nobody listened.
âOh my god,â Sam groaned, âI feel like Iâm stuck in a group project with divorced parents.â
âNot helping,â Steve snapped.
âDidnât know you had that in you,â Sam tossed casually over his shoulder at you as you jogged to catch up.
You blinked. âWhat?â
He grinned, like it was harmless. âAll that fancy footwork back there. Guess youâre not just here to smile for the cameras after all.â
Something in your chest tightened.
It was a joke. You knew it was a joke. But it hit right where all the ugly thoughts lived. Because wasnât that exactly how the world saw you? Pretty face. Good for PR. Always composed, always agreeable. Perfect little All-American sweetheart.
You laughed it off, because what else could you do? âGuess Iâm full of surprises.â
But inside, you were already spiraling.
You kept thinking about Wanda, how she drifted in her own little bubble of chaos, untouchable. Nat, tooâso untouchably herself, so unapologetically sharp. Nobody expected them to smile through everything, to be palatable and pleasant and perfect.
Why was it only you?
Why did you have to swallow the screams, curl your nails into your palms, let your jaw ache from holding it shut?
The final straw came when Tony clapped you on the shoulder as if handing out candy.
âAt least you kept it together,â he said, loud enough for Steve to hear. âLight as a feather, fresh as the air. Always steady. Always perfect. I meanâclass, integrity⌠just like a goddamn Kennedy.â
And then he laughed, already turning back to argue with Steve again.
It wasnât praise. It was a sentence. A reminder. Stay pretty, stay polished, stay perfect. Stay in your box.
You smiled, because of course you did. You smiled so hard your cheeks ached.
But you were one breath away from shattering.
So you slipped away.
Turned down a narrow alley, heart pounding, jaw locked, lungs burning for release. You pressed your back against the cold brick, dragged air into your chestâand exploded.
âI swearââ your voice cracked, guttural, âwith love to spareââ
And then you screamed.
It tore out of you like a grenade, ricocheting off the alley walls, raw and ugly. You screamed until your throat scratched, until tears blurred your vision.
âI am light as a feather,â you spat bitterly, mocking Tonyâs words. âIâm as fresh as the goddamn air. Iâve got class and integrity, just like a fucking Kennedyââ
Another scream ripped through you. Louder. You dug your nails into your palms until crescents marked your skin, your body shaking with the force of it.
You screamed again. And again. You screamed until the sound turned jagged, then broke into harsh, gasping sobs. Until your head spun. Until you thought you might collapse from the sheer weight of holding it in for so long.
âYâknow,â a voice cut in, casual, almost amused, âfor a second I thought we were under attack again.â
You froze.
Your head whipped toward the mouth of the alley, blood roaring in your ears.
Bucky Barnes leaned against the wall, arms folded, expression neutral.
Of course. Of course heâd followed.
Mortification clawed up your throat. âShitââ You straightened so fast you almost stumbled, swiping at your face. âI wasnâtâthis isnâtââ
âRelax.â His tone was even, quiet. Not mocking, not sharp. Just steady. âIâm not here to stop you.â
You blinked, chest heaving. âYouâre⌠not?â
He shrugged, metal shoulder shifting. âNah. Thought maybe Iâd join in.â
Before you could process that, he tipped his head backâand screamed.
Loud, guttural, echoing like thunder.
Your jaw dropped. âWhat the fuckââ
He screamed again, louder, his voice bouncing off the walls.
Something cracked inside you, but this time it wasnât painâit was laughter. Sharp, startled, bubbling out of you before you could stop it.
Then another scream built in your chest, and you let it rip, matching his.
Soon it was both of you, side by side in a dingy alley, screaming like lunatics.
Civilians passing on the street slowed, whispering. Are the Avengers fighting? Should we call someone?
But you didnât care.
You screamed until your ribs ached, until your throat felt raw, until your body vibrated with the release.Â
You screamed until the anger dulled
Screaming until it turned into shaky, helpless laughter spilling out of you both.
When the noise finally died, you slumped against the wall, chest heaving. until you were doubled over, breathless, tears on your face but laughing anyway.
Bucky dropped beside you, shoulder brushing yours. His hair stuck to his temple, his voice rough from the yelling.
âFeel better?â
You let out a shaky laugh. âLike shit.â
âYeah.â He smirked faintly, eyes crinkling. âBut⌠lighter, right?â
You exhaled, head falling back against the brick. For the first time in days, weeks, maybe monthsâyou actually felt it. Lighter. Not fixed, not perfect, but like youâd finally dropped something youâd been hauling alone.
You considered it. And he was right. There was still anger coiled in your gut, but it wasnât suffocating anymore. It was manageable.
Still, embarrassment prickled at your skin. âYouâre insane.â You nudged his arm, weakly.Â
âMaybe.â His gaze lingered on you, steady and soft in a way that made your chest ache. âBut so are you.â
You didnât deny it.
For the first time, you didnât feel like you had to.
Because with him, you didnât have to.
The cameras were already flashing before you even sat down.
That wasnât unusualâyouâd grown used to it, the way lenses tracked your every move, how hands holding microphones seemed to lean closer when you opened your mouth. But today, it felt heavier. Like the air itself was pressing down, telling you to sit straighter, smile brighter, keep it together.
The long table on stage stretched with nameplates in front of each Avenger. Steve at the center, Tony just off to his right, Natasha cool and composed at the far end, Wanda half-checked out with her chin propped on her palm. Sam leaned back in his chair like he owned the room.
And then there was youâseat positioned right where the lights hit hardest. Americaâs sweetheart. Sunshine girl. The âperfectâ one.
You smoothed your skirt as you sat, fixed your hair, tilted your lips into that practiced curve. Easy. Harmless. Approachable. Perfect.
The first questions werenât about you.
They never were.
A reporter from the Post stood and asked Steve about leadership challenges within the team. Another pressed Tony about tech development and ethics oversight. Sam got asked about flight tactics; Natasha was hit with a sharp one about international diplomacy.
You sat quietly, nodding along, folding your hands neatly on the table. Like good set dressing.
And then, predictably, the spotlight shifted.
âYou,â a woman in the third row said brightly, leaning toward her microphone, âyouâve been described as the sunshine of the Avengers. Always calm, always smiling. How do you stay so pretty under all that pressure?â
The word snagged. Pretty.
You smiled wider, because what else could you do? âLots of sleep and tea,â you said, light as a feather, voice smooth as glass. âHelps to have a good moisturizer too.â
The crowd chuckled. Cameras clicked.
Inside, your jaw ached.
The questions kept coming, and not the kind that mattered.
âWhatâs your morning routine?â âWhat brand of mascara do you use?â âDo you and Bucky have chemistry off-screen?â âWhoâs the funniest Avenger?â âDo you ever worry about wrinkles with all that stress?â
Every answer had to be sweet, careful, soft-edged. You deflected with practiced charm, just as you always did.
Sam teased at one point, leaning toward his mic with a grin. âCâmon, sheâs basically perfect. She probably wakes up with that smile.â
The crowd laughed.
You laughed too. Thatâs what they expected.
But beneath the table, your fingernails dug half-moon crescents into your palm.
Then it came.
The question.
You didnât see the manâs face clearlyâonly the mic lifting, the smirk in his tone.
âSo,â he said, âbeing on a team full of guys, do you ever feel⌠pressured? Yâknow, to keep them in line? Or do you just bat your eyelashes and let them do the heavy lifting?â
The air shifted.
Your head snapped up.
Natashaâs eyes narrowed immediately, sharp as knives. Wanda straightened in her chair, jaw tightening. Both of them poised, ready to slice the question in half for you.
But you smiled. Too bright. Too fast. You laughed it off, swallowing the scream clawing up your throat.
âGuess I just try to keep up,â you said breezily.
It landed like ash.
A few weak chuckles scattered through the room. Someone on the team made a soundâSam maybe, a nervous âhehââbut nobody shut it down.
Nobody said a damn thing.
And the spotlight was back on you.
You opened your mouth, ready to deflect again, but the words snagged. Because it wasnât just a question. It was every headline. Every whisper. Every time your skill was downplayed, every joke about you being eye candy, every careless comment about how âpretty girls donât get angry.â
It was all of it, condensed into one smirking little jab.
And before you could stop itâyour eyes burned.
A tear slipped down your cheek.
The room went dead silent.
The cameras snapped like gunfire. Reporters shifted in their seats. Steveâs lips pressed into a thin line; Tonyâs eyes darted toward the man whoâd asked.
And youâAmericaâs Sweetheartâdid the most PR-trained, soul-crushing thing possible.
You laughed. Shaky, too high. Waved a hand like it was nothing. âSorry,â you said, voice breaking. âDidnât mean toâget so emotional.â
You smiled. Bright. Too bright. The crowd softened, murmuring reassurances.
You laughed again, apologetic. âSee? Sunshine. Even when I cry.â
The cameras loved it.
But your stomach burned.
The room chuckled nervously and erupted in clicks, shutters going off rapid-fire.
âOhhh,â the reporter drawled, like heâd been waiting for this, âyouâre pretty when you cry.â The reporter whoâd asked leaned back, smug.Â
It was casual. Almost teasing. And it burned worse than any villainâs blade.
It wasnât cruel, not exactly. It wasnât sharp. It was worseâit was casual. Like it was normal. Like reducing you to a face, to a body, to a performance, was the most natural thing in the world.
Thatâs when it happened.
Bucky Barnes, the man who never said a damn word in these settings, leaned toward his microphone.
âYou kiss your mother with that mouth?â
The words cut through the tension like a blade. The room eruptedâreporters gasping, laughter bubbling, cameras flashing like lightning.
The interviewer stammered, red-faced.
Natasha pounced, her voice slicing clean: âNext question.â Wanda added, sharp and pointed, âTry asking something worth answering next time.â
And just like that, the tide shifted.
But you? You kept smiling. Because thatâs what you had to do.
You didnât remember leaving the stage. Didnât remember answering the rest of the questions. Didnât remember the flashbulbs or the murmurs or Wandaâs side-glance that said she knew exactly how badly you wanted to scream. or the murmurs or Natashaâs sharp-edged smirk of solidarity.
You only remembered slamming your bedroom door so hard the frame rattled.
You remembered the glass of water in your hand, sweating against your palmâbefore you hurled it across the room. It exploded against the wall, shards raining down like diamonds.
âOh, all the time,â you snapped, pacing. Your voice was already breaking. âIâm grateful all the fucking time.â
Your reflection in the window stared backâflushed, red-eyed, trembling.
âIâm sexy, and Iâm kind,â you mocked, the words tasting like poison. âAnd Iâm pretty when I cry.â
You grabbed the nearest pillow, buried your face in it, and screamed until your throat burned raw.
Tears blurred everything, anger clawing up your chest like fire. You punched the bed, kicked the dresser, paced and ranted and spiraled until the walls felt too close, too suffocating.
âI canâtââ you gasped, gripping your hair with both hands. âI canât do this anymore. I canâtâsmile, and nod, and be their fucking sweetheart. Iâm notââ
Another scream ripped out of you, ragged and broken.
Another scream tore out of you, ragged and raw.
You didnât hear the knock at first. Didnât hear the door creak open.
It was the soft scrape of something against the floor that finally snapped you out of it.
You turned, chest heaving.
Bucky Barnes stood in the doorway.
In his hands: a broom and a dustpan.
He didnât speak. Just moved past you quietly, crouched down, and began sweeping up the shattered glass.
âBuckyââ your voice cracked.
âTheyâll never get it,â he said simply, not looking up. His voice was steady, unbothered, like this was just another mission. âBut I do.â
Your throat tightened.
The rage ebbed, just a little. Enough for you to sink down onto the edge of the bed, burying your face in your hands.
The sound of glass being swept into the dustpan was strangely grounding. Rhythmic. Steady.
Bucky didnât ask you to explain. Didnât tell you to calm down. Didnât say you were overreacting.
When he was done, he set the broom aside, sat next to you. Not too close, not far either. Just⌠there.
The silence stretched, heavy but safe.
And for the first time all day, you let yourself breathe.
The crash had drawn him to your door.
He hadnât planned on following you after the conferenceâthough heâd wanted to. Heâd seen it, the way your shoulders went stiff at that question, the way your laugh cracked around the edges, the way that tear broke free before you could swallow it. Heâd wanted to tear the mic out of that assholeâs hands himself, but heâd barely managed his one-liner. He wasnât good at these things. Not words, not rooms full of people.
But heâd seen you leave with your jaw tight, your steps too sharp. And when the sound of glass shattering rang down the hall, he didnât even think. He grabbed the nearest broom from a supply closet and went.
Now, standing in your room, he didnât say a word. He just swept.
The shards glittered against the floor, catching the light like razors.
He knew that kind of rage. The kind that made your hands twitch for something to break, to prove you could feel anything other than the mask you wore.
Heâd lived it.
He remembered nights in dingy apartments, fists bleeding against walls. The scream that tore out of your throat into a pillowâhe knew that sound. Heâd heard it in his own chest, muffled against cheap fabric so no one would come knocking.
Thatâs why he didnât judge. Didnât flinch.
As the broom brushed glass into the pan, he thought: They donât see it. They donât want to. But I do.
Youâd quieted a little by then, breaths coming in ragged pulls, body hunched on the edge of the bed. He glanced at you, just once, and for a moment it was like looking into a mirror he hatedâsomeone trying so fucking hard to hold it all together when the cracks were already running deep.
He wanted to tell you he understood. That it was okay to break.
But Bucky Barnes didnât have speeches in him. Not anymore.
So he swept. Careful, steady. Making sure every piece was gone so you wouldnât cut yourself later. It was the only language he had left: actions instead of words.
When he was done, he set the broom aside and eased down next to you. Not too closeâhe never wanted to crowd youâbut close enough that youâd feel he wasnât leaving.
The silence hung between you, thick but not suffocating.
For a long minute, neither of you spoke.
And then, unexpectedly, the words came easy.
âUsed to break a lotta things,â he said quietly, eyes fixed on the floor. His voice was low, almost rough with memory. âWalls. Plates. My own damn knuckles.â
You let out a shaky laugh, still muffled behind your hands. âYeah?â
He nodded. âSometimes still do. Helps.â
The corner of your mouth twitched upward, even as your eyes shone red. âYou scream into pillows too?â
He huffedâalmost a laugh himself. âYeah. I do that too.â
The silence after wasnât heavy anymore. It was something else. Something softer.
He wasnât good at small talk. Never had been. Most conversations these days felt like walking barefoot across broken glassâevery word dangerous, every step too much.
But with you, it was different. The words didnât scrape on the way out. They came natural.
âYou donât have to be perfect, yâknow,â he said after a while. The admission sounded clumsy in his own ears, but he meant it. âNot with me.â
Your breath hitched. And for a second, he thought maybe heâd said too much. But then you leaned into himâjust barely, your shoulder brushing hisâand the smallest sigh slipped out.
That was enough.
He didnât need speeches. Didnât need to fix it. He just needed to sit there, with you, and let you know that someone finally fucking saw you.
đ° EXCLUSIVE: Americaâs Barbie Joins the Avengers Byline: Taylor Knox, Celebrity Features Editor
Sheâs optimistic, sheâs beautiful, and sheâs battle-readyâat least, thatâs what Earthâs Mightiest Heroes would like us to believe. But behind the vibranium shields and Stark-level tech, is [Y/N] really a fighter⌠or just the Avengersâ living, breathing Barbie doll?
Ever since her first public appearance alongside the team, the 24-year-old has been branded âAmericaâs Sweetheartâ and âthe sunshine of the Avengersâânicknames that fit, considering her dazzling smile and picture-perfect personality. Always poised, always polite, always pretty. (Seriously, have you ever seen a hair out of place? We havenât.)
Her teammates clearly adore herâbut not necessarily for her combat skills. While Captain America and Falcon handle tactical leadership, and Black Widow and Scarlet Witch strike with lethal precision, [Y/N] tends to shine brightest on the red carpet. Whether in couture gowns or spandex suits, sheâs the one who turns heads. And maybe thatâs the point.
A high-ranking PR insider told The Daily Bulletin: âSheâs the perfect all-American package. Sheâs young, gorgeous, relatable, and safe. She makes the team look good. Fansâespecially young womenâsee themselves in her, even if sheâs not the one taking down aliens.â
When asked about her training regimen, one source close to the Avengers laughed: âShe works hard, no doubt, but she knows her place. Sheâs not there to outshine Rogers or Romanoff. Sheâs there to lighten the mood and look good doing it. And honestly? She does that better than anyone.â
And the world seems to agree. Social media is already flooded with edits dubbing her the âAvengersâ Barbieââwith perfect lips, perfect hair, and yes, perfect hips. (One viral tweet racked up 300k likes with the caption: âSheâs not saving the world, sheâs saving the vibe.â)
So, is [Y/N] the future of superheroism? Or is she simply the teamâs PR dreamâAmericaâs Barbie in spandex, smiling for the cameras while the real heroes get their hands dirty?
Sheâs got the face of a starlet and the body of a cover model. The Avengersâ resident sweetheartâthe PR dream. Who says heroes canât be pretty?
One thingâs for certain: She knows her place. And for the Avengers, maybe thatâs all they need her to.
âŚwhat the fuck
The headline hit the news cycle like wildfire: âThe Avengersâ Barbie.â
Bright pink letters splashed across a paparazzi photo of you smiling on your way into Stark Tower. Your uniform had been replaced by an airbrushed mock-up of a sparkly dress and a plastic crown, like some editor had gotten a little too creative with Photoshop. The article itself was worseâhalf jokes, half digs, all wrapped in that tone people use when they think theyâre flattering you.
âSheâs got the face of a starlet and the body of a cover model,â it read. âThe Avengersâ resident sweetheartâthe PR dream. Who says heroes canât be pretty?â
Pretty. Barbie. A doll.
When the team saw it, theyâd laughed.
Even Steve chuckledâgood-natured, like he thought it was harmless. Sam had nearly fallen off the couch. âDamn, Barbie! Do we gotta start calling you Malibu now?â
You smiled. Of course you smiled. You tossed your hair, rolled your eyes, made some joke about requesting a Dreamhouse on the roof of the Tower. Natasha smirked but didnât join in. Wanda didnât laugh at allâher eyes cut to you with that razor-sharp understanding she always carried, the kind that made you want to look away before she dug too deep.
But still, you kept up the act. All sunshine. All sweetness. All Barbie.
Inside? It was rotting you alive.
That night, you couldnât sleep. Every time you closed your eyes, the word Barbie burned neon behind your eyelids.
Not warrior. Not strategist. Not teammate. Barbie.
Hell it was even worse cause they were also just dismissing all of barbieâs accomplishments because of her looks.
Steveâs chuckle replayed in your head like a needle skipping on a record. Samâs cackle. Tonyâs dismissive, âWell, at least they called you marketable. Could be worse.â
Marketable. A product.
Not human.
Your jaw ached from how hard youâd clenched it during that whole exchange. The skin of your palms still bore half-moon indents from your nails. Youâd dug in so hard you almost bled.
And the worst partâthe very worst partâwas that Natasha and Wanda noticed.
Wanda had lingered when the others dispersed, coming to stand beside you at the kitchen counter where youâd been pretending to scroll on your phone. âYou know theyâre idiots, right?â she murmured, her accent soft but firm. âThey donât get it. Not the way we do.â
Nat had leaned casually against the fridge, arms crossed, her expression unreadable but her voice cutting. âTheyâre laughing at the headline because itâs easy. They donât care enough to see the insult under it. But donât let them win by playing along.â
Her words had struck like a blade: donât let them win.
But you only smiled, brushing them both off. âIâm fine.â
You werenât fine. You were about to snap.
When the clock blinked 12:37 a.m., you cracked.
You threw on sweats, bandaged your hands with muscle memory, and stormed out of your room. The Tower was dead quiet, city lights flickering through the massive windows as if mocking you. Every step toward the gym felt like stomping into warâyour chest a battlefield, rage boiling in your veins.
You slammed the gym door behind you. The sound echoed in the empty space, sharp enough to make your ears ring.
You didnât bother with lights. You didnât need them. The world was already burning white-hot behind your eyes.
Straight to the heavy bag. No warm-up. No gloves. Just raw fury.
And you went feral.
Punch after punch, knuckles screaming through the wraps, sweat pouring down your spine. You werenât throwing calculated strikesâyou were wrecking. Hitting until your arms shook, until your chest heaved with sobs you wouldnât let out.
Every punch had a word in it.
Barbie. Crack. Sweetheart. Crack. Marketable. Crack. Perfect. Crack.
The sound filled the room, each impact ricocheting through the walls like gunfire.
Your breath ripped out of you ragged and broken. âI know my age and I act like it,â you spat between hits, mocking the articleâs backhanded compliment about your âmaturity.â Another blow. Another hiss of pain.
âIâm a perfect all-American bitch,â you growled, striking harder, voice cracking. âWith perfect all-American lipsââ smackâ âand perfect all-American hips.â Another slam. Your hand nearly split the bag open.
The words tasted like blood and bile on your tongue.
âI know my place, I know my place, and this is it.â Punch. Punch. Punch.
And thenâsilence.
The bag didnât sway the way it shouldâve.
You froze, breath shuddering. That was when you realized someone was holding it steady.
Bucky had been there the whole time.
Heâd come down earlier, chasing his own sleepless demons. The gym was his sanctuary tooâsilent, cold, a place to burn the rage out of his system before it ate him alive. Heâd been working the speed bag in the corner when you stormed in. He didnât announce himself. Didnât interrupt.
But when your fists started slipping, when your body started to shake, he moved.
He held the bag firm, silent and steady.
And the sight of youâhair falling loose, sweat soaking through your shirt, eyes wild and furiousâhit him harder than any punch could. Heâd seen you polished, perfect, smiling for the world. But this? This was the raw, uncut version. No mask. No Barbie. Just you.
And for the first time, he thought youâd never looked more gorgeous.
He said nothing at first. Just braced the bag with both hands, muscles tense, letting you burn it all out.
Finally, when your punches slowed, his voice cut through the sound of your ragged breathing. Low. Rough. Quiet enough it almost disappeared.
âDonât hold back. I got it.â
You didnât hold back.
You hit until your body betrayed you, collapsing against the bag with your forehead pressed into the canvas, tears hot against your cheeks. Your arms hung heavy, trembling with exhaustion.
You slid down to the floor, back against the bag, chest heaving. A sob ripped out of you before you could stop it, then another, until you were laughing through the crying, half-hysterical.
âBarbie,â you spat bitterly, wiping your face with the back of your shaking hand. âFucking Barbie.â
Bucky slid down across from you, arms draped over his knees. He didnât laugh. Didnât tell you it wasnât a big deal. Didnât minimize it the way the others did.
He just nodded, like yeah, he got it.
âThey see what they wanna see,â he said finally. His voice was steady, unflinching. âNot whatâs real.â
The words split you open worse than the headline had. Because wasnât that the truth? They didnât see you. They saw a mask. A smile. A doll.
And he knew what that felt like.
You buried your face in your hands and let yourself fall apart.
And he just sat there. Quiet. Present. Steady in the way only Bucky Barnes could be.
Minutes passed. Hours maybe. Eventually your sobs softened, your breathing evened. You leaned back against the bag, drained and raw, staring at the ceiling.
He didnât move. Didnât rush you.
When you finally looked at him, eyes swollen, face damp, he met your gaze without a trace of judgment. Only understanding.
For the first time, you felt like someone was taking you seriously.
Not the Barbie. Not the sweetheart. Not the PR dream.
Just you.
And that, more than anything, was what made the tears fall all over again.
The gym smelled like sweat and iron. The world outside didnât matterâjust you and the wreckage inside your chest.
Your fists throbbed with every heartbeat, skin split raw beneath the bandages youâd wrapped in your rush. The pain was sharp but grounding, the kind you almost welcomed. Proof you werenât made of plastic. Proof you werenât Barbie.
You sat there on the mat, knees pulled close, trying to breathe through the tangle of sobs and laughter. Every exhale hitched, shaky. Every inhale carried the bitter taste of humiliation you couldnât scrub out.
Across from you, Bucky hadnât moved. He was stone-still, arms resting on his knees, gaze steady. Not pitying. Not curious. Just⌠there.
It shouldâve felt suffocating, being witnessed like thisâmessy, broken, mask shattered. But it didnât. Somehow, with him, it felt like the first time in weeks you could breathe.
Eventually, you let your head fall back against the bag with a dull thunk. âTheyâll never stop, will they?â you whispered, voice shredded. âNo matter what I do, itâll never be enough. Itâll always be my face. My body. My smile. Never me.â
Bucky didnât answer right away. Instead, he pushed himself to his feet. For a split second, you thought he was leavingâyour chest caved at the thoughtâbut then he crouched beside you, flesh hand reaching for yours.
Wordless. Gentle.
He turned your hands palm-up. The wraps were damp, streaked red where your skin had split open. He didnât flinch. Didnât scold. Just started unrolling them, slow and careful, like every tug of fabric mattered.
You wanted to tell him he didnât have to. That you were fine. But the words caught in your throat because for once, someone wasnât asking if you were fine. He was just being there.
The silence stretched, but it wasnât empty. It was full. Heavy. Almost unbearable in how tender it felt.
He worked with methodical precision, fingers surprisingly steady as he peeled the wraps away. His thumb brushed your wrist, calloused skin against yours, and you nearly shivered at the warmth of it.
When the last strip came free, your knuckles were raw, the skin torn and angry. He reached for the med kit stashed under the bench, flipping it open with practiced ease. Alcohol pads. Ointment. Fresh gauze.
The first press of antiseptic burned like fire. You hissed through your teeth, jerking, but his hand tightened around yoursânot harsh, just firm enough to ground you. âEasy,â he muttered, voice low, almost a growl.
Not annoyed. Protective.
You bit your lip, watching as he cleaned every cut, every scrape, then wrapped your hands againâneater, stronger than youâd ever managed on your own. It wasnât just bandaging. It was ritual. It was care.
And he did it all in silence.
By the time he tied the last knot, your chest had gone hollow. Not from rage this time, but something quieter, heavier.
You stared at your hands, snug in their fresh bandages, then at him. âWhy are you doing this?â The question slipped out before you could stop it.
He didnât look at you right away. Just sat back on his heels, wiped his palms on his sweats, and finally met your eyes.
âBecause I know what itâs like.â
Your throat tightened.
âWhat?â you whispered.
He shrugged, gaze flickering down. âBeing looked at. Judged. Labeled. People think they know you, but they donât. They just take whatâs easiest to see and run with it.â His jaw clenched. âI spent years being nothing but⌠that guy. The Winter Soldier. The monster. The headline.â
The way he said itâflat, steadyâsent something jagged through you. Because he wasnât looking for sympathy. He wasnât dumping trauma for you to carry. He was just telling the truth. Quietly.
âAnd youâŚâ he added, softer now, eyes lifting back to yours. âThey donât see you either. Not the way you deserve. But I do.â
The words hit like a sucker punch. Your chest went tight, tears burning again.
You looked away, swallowing hard, desperate not to crumble all over again. âYou donât have to say that.â
âIâm not saying it because I have to.â
Silence. Thick. Stretching between you like a wire pulled taut.
For a moment, you swore the world narrowed down to just the sound of your breathing and the weight of his gaze.
You wanted to run. You wanted to stay. You wanted to scream, laugh, cryâall of it at once.
But all you did was lean back against the bag again, pulling your knees close, trying to calm the storm.
Bucky shifted too, lowering himself down beside you this time instead of across. Close enough that your shoulders almost brushed. Not touching. Just⌠there. Solid. Steady.
He didnât say anything else. Didnât need to.
And you sat there in that silence, raw and wrecked, feeling something strange settle into your chest. Something you couldnât name yet. Something you were too exhausted to even try.
But you knew one thing.
With Bucky, you didnât feel like Barbie. You didnât feel like a headline.
You felt like yourself.
And for tonight, that was enough.
The studio lights hit first, blinding and harsh, sending a wave of static through your chest. Cameras swiveled, microphones perched like predators, and the hum of the audience filled the room, heavy and suffocating. Tony leaned back in his chair, spinning a pen, smirking like he owned the world. Steve sat perfect, posture straight, answering every tactical question with careful precision. Bucky⌠Bucky sat silent, still, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, eyes sharp, calm.
And then there was you.
You sat there, heels tight on your toes, posture perfect, smile locked in place, hands folded neatly in your lap, knuckles pale from clenching, heart hammering. I donât get angry when Iâm pissed. Iâm the eternal optimist, you repeated silently, over and over, a mantra to hold yourself together.
The first few questions were easy enough: strategy, tactics, leadership. Tony joked. Steve answered with precision. Bucky clipped a concise tactical response that left the audience impressed. You smiled and nodded, careful, polite, the perfect sunshine of the team. But every tick of the clock hammered inside your chest, pulse rising, jaw clenched, eyes twitching.
Then the host leaned in, grin sharp, voice too sweet:
âAnd now⌠for [Y/N] herselfâour Americaâs Sweetheart! Tell us, are you ever going to settle down? Do you have suitors lined up for you? Or will you leave the world-saving to the others?â
The world slowed. The audience chuckled lightly, but your pulse accelerated into chaos. The others? Clearly, they meant super-soldiers, witches, wizards, men in suits.
You rolled your eyes, laughing lightly but sharply. Not ditzy. Not fake. Perfectly real. âSettle down?â you asked, voice laced with amused venom. âAre you kidding me? Iâm at the top of my game. Literally right up there with super-enhanced humans. Ladies, câmon. Leave saving the world to the men? I donât think so!â
A giggle escaped, dark and ironic. âI⌠donât think so.â
Wandaâs eyes flicked toward you, tense, protective. Natashaâs lips pressed into a thin line, suppressing a grin. Steve stiffened ever so slightly, while Tony just nodded, pretending he wasnât watching the storm in your eyes.
Good. You owned it. That simmering rage, the brilliance, the furyâit became power. If they want Barbie, theyâll get Barbie. Not fake, not plastic. Real. Dangerous. Gorgeous. And glowing with lethal confidence.
Before the applause could fully settle, the host pivoted, smirk intact. âAnd now, [Y/N], tell us your skincare routine!â
The room tilted.
Smile intact. Perfect posture. The mask on. But inside, everything screamed. I shower, donât you? When are you going to ask about my battles? Or are you just too scared to let a lady shine? I mean, you have no problem with letting Nat and Wanda shineâbut Iâm the easiest target, huh?
Your jaw clenched. Eye twitching. Pulse hammering. Heart racing. Every microsecond of your being wanted to tear into the absurdity of the question. But the mask held. Perfect smile. Polite answer. âOh, just sunscreen and water. And sleep when possible,â you said, voice sweet, biting back the venom, tasting it like metal on your tongue.
The host laughed. Audience laughs with him. Your teeth ground together. Every tick of the teleprompter, every flash of the cameras felt like nails against your skull.
You ripped off your mic. Hard. The cord tangled in your fingers. You didnât care. âWonderful day, everyone,â you muttered sarcastically, storming off the stage. Heels clicking, muttered curses under your breath, words you hadnât spoken in weeks pouring out in uneven, furious bursts.
Bucky followed immediately, not hiding it. He didnât hesitate. Didnât ask. Just followed. Steady. Quiet. Calm. Safe.
Backstage, you finally let go. Fist slammed into the wall. CRACK. Pain radiated up your arm. Breath came in ragged bursts. Hair stuck to your damp forehead. Knuckles raw. Rage unspooled and twisted into exhaustion, frustration, humiliation.
âSkincare routine?â you hissed, voice hoarse. âAfter everythingâafter risking my life, after fighting gods, aliens, chaosâyou want to know how I keep my skin clear? Are you kidding me?!â
Bucky leaned against the wall, arms crossed, smirk faint, eyes steady. âRemind me not to get on your bad side, love,â he said softly.
You spun, cheeks flushed, teeth clenched, hair wild. âYouâre enjoying this too much,â you muttered.
âMaybe a little,â he admitted. Calm. Grounded. Watching.
The adrenaline still racing, you slumped against the wall. Knuckles throbbing. Breath shaking. He crouched beside you, wordless, pulled out a first-aid kit. Alcohol pads. Tape. Gauze. His hands were steady, methodical, wrapping your hands, cleaning cuts with quiet care.
âEasy,â he muttered when you flinched. âDonât hurt yourself more than you already have.â
You slumped fully now, trembling. âI scream inside to deal with it⌠but itâs never enough,â you admitted, voice low, breaking.
He didnât answer immediately. Just sat with you, finished wrapping your hands, slow, deliberate. Then softly:
âThen donât scream inside anymore. Scream where someone hears you. Scream with me.â
A bitter, raw laugh escaped you. Relief mingled with fury.
Finally, you rose. He rose with you. Shoulder brushing his, small, grounding contact, cameras flashing, lights burningâbut you werenât alone. You werenât pretending anymore. You werenât just âsunshine.â
Barbie. You embraced it. Perfect, untouchable, real. Dangerous. And for the first time, you loved it.
Walking out, shoulder to shoulder, slow-motion in the camera flashes, chest decompressing just slightly, hands brushed together. Subtle tension. Subtle comfort. Rage still there, but tempered by the only person who could hold the storm without flinching.
You werenât alone anymore.
The training room smelled of sweat and rubber mats, a faint metallic tang from the weights lined along the wall. You were focused, as usual, keeping the mask in placeâthe âsunshine of the Avengers,â calm, smiling, light-hearted, joking with Sam when he pushed too far. But beneath it, your body was taut, every muscle coiled like a spring ready to snap. Jaw clenched, knuckles pale from gripping your gloves, eye twitching from nerves you refused to admit to anyone.
Bucky was there, quietly observing. His gaze caught every subtle movementâthe way your shoulders tightened when Steve barked instructions, the slight flare of your nostrils when Sam teased you again, the microsecond flinch at Tonyâs sarcastic quip about âAmericaâs perfect little angel.â And he noticed the tiny victories you gave yourself, small gestures that no one else saw: how you exhaled slowly to center yourself, how you bit the inside of your cheek to keep from losing your composure.
âHand me the weight plate,â you said, voice light, smiling at Sam.
He smirked. âDidnât know you had that in you,â he teased, sliding the plate toward you.
Inside, something snapped. Not a full meltdown, not yetâbut your mind spun, fiery. Iâve done everything to prove myself. Iâve trained, Iâve fought, Iâve saved the teamâs ass more times than I can count, and Iâm still the âperfect eye candy.â Still the Barbie everyone thinks is just⌠nice and shiny. Nice and safe. But not real. Not me.
You felt your pulse spike, the heat rushing up your neck, the subtle twitch behind your eye. You bit back the words you wanted to shout at him, the ones that would ruin your âperfectâ image. Instead, you flexed your fingers, fists tightening, then relaxing.
Bucky noticed.
He slid closer under the guise of adjusting his stance, hand brushing yours for a moment as he passed. Not enough for anyone else to see, but enough for you to feel the anchor, the grounding presence. Your chest eased fractionally. I feel safer letting him see me like this than anyone else.
Later that night, after the press conferences and tabloids had done their worst, you snuck into the quiet room near the gym. The weight of the day finally hit. Your heels clicked against the floor, sharp and fast, every step a beat of frustration. You grabbed a pillow, fists clenched, and slammed into it, muttering curses under your breathâwords no one else would hear, but that burned with truth.
Bucky appeared in the doorway, quietly, no judgment. He didnât speak, didnât ask if you were okay. He just watched, letting you scream, letting you crash out. When you finally stopped to catch your breath, shaking and flushed, he moved closer. Wordless. Calm. Grounding. He sat beside you, helping you wrap your knuckles, his hands steady, deliberate, patient.
âYou donât have to hold it in with me,â he murmured quietly, adjusting the tape over your raw knuckles.
âI like that you see this side of me,â you whispered, voice still shaky. âI donât have to hide the crash-outs with you.â
He gave a small, rare smile, nodding. That was all. No words needed. Just presence. Just understanding. You leaned slightly against him, too long, aware of the heat from his body and the calm steadiness that countered your chaos. Tiny comfort gestures, grounding, simple, intimate, safe.
The next week, you returned to public appearances with a new fire burning inside. The tabloids had tried to brand you as âThe Avengersâ Barbie,â patronizing and backhanded, and youâd leaned into itâflawless, sarcastic, sharp. You answered ridiculous questions with wit, not sweetness:
âSkincare routine?â â âSunscreen and saving the world, same as always.â
âAre you planning on settling down?â â âIâm busy fighting gods and aliens. Romance will have to wait.â
Fans adored you for it. The applause, the flashes, the commentary praising your confidenceâit lit a spark in you. Not the âperfect Barbieâ they thought they wanted, but the chaotic, brilliant, unapologetic you.
Backstage, though, you still needed your release. You crashed into a quiet room, fists slamming a pillow, muttering curses and half-laughed expletives. Bucky followed, silent. Sat beside you. Adjusted the tape. Hand brushing yours for grounding. His rare soft smile letting you know he understood completely.
âYou donât have to pretend,â he said, voice low, calm. âI see all of it. The chaos, the fire, the rage. And I like it.â
You laughed, bitter and raw. âI donât even know if I like it half the time.â
âDoesnât matter,â he said, shrugging slightly. âI do.â
Over the following days, subtle moments became routine. Training sessions werenât just drillsâthey were sparks of private tension:
Hands brushing over gear.
Leaning on him slightly during late-night sparring.
Tiny glances that lasted too long, letting him know you trusted him with your chaos.
Your public persona stayed strong, sharp, dazzling Barbie: witty, sarcastic, flawless. But in private, with him, you were messy. Real. Human. Raw. He didnât push, didnât judge. Just sat there, steady, letting you crash out, letting you be everything the world didnât get to see.
The duality became empowering. You realized you could be both: the icon the world adored and the chaotic, fiery, messy person Bucky got to know. And for the first time, it didnât hurtâit strengthened you. Your confidence grew, public appearances became performances you controlled, and your private moments with Bucky were anchors in a storm of expectations and scrutiny.
He never commented on your public image. He didnât need to. He just nodded approvingly when you returned from the stage, adjusted your gear, or let out a sigh of exhaustion. Tiny, grounding touches. His presence alone was enough.
The world saw the perfect all american bitch, flawless, witty, unflappable, still a crashout. Bucky saw everything else. And that, finally, was enough for you too.
(You've got mail!) I SCREAM INSIDE TO DEAL WITH IT LIKE AH, LIKE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AH AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OH MY FUCKINGG GODDDDDDDD. All the time đ. LMFAOOO anyways life has been kicking my ass work has been kicking my ass and honestly this was so therapeutic to write. STAY TUNED I HAVE MORE COMING UP SHORTLY!!! But hope yall enjoyed this, this was lowkey fun to make. I left some little Easter eggs in here hope you find them
Tag List (For Mr. James Buchanan Barnes is open)
@bbsbrina @herejustforbuckybarnes @barnesandbouquets @winchestert101 @totallyanxiousart @lovinqbella @starstruckfirecat @beestarsuck @peanutbutt3rcup @piatosniathenie @mysoulbelongstobuckybarnes @star-yawnznn
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put down that c.ai thing and read y/n fics like god intended.
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Me thinking that I'm funny was probably the first problem
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đ´[LIVE] Drawing the Fairyfort as HUNTR/X from K-Pop Demon Hunters!!!
[Twitch]
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BAMMâźď¸2 reds n 1 yellow, KEEP THEM GOING I BEG OF YOUUUđđđ PWEASEEEE
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Been meaning to draw creaking bigb for a while
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kinda obsessed with these guys at this point...
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Yall seen teen beach movie?
I inserted some lifers into it (^_^)
(Click for better quality)
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'' YOU'LL BE OKAY ,,



|| pairings : james "bucky" barnes + teen!reader (NOT A SHIP , MORE FAMILIAL)
|| warnings : break ups, hurt/comfort
|| wc : ~ 0.2 - 0.3k
Today was a shitty day. No, it wasn't because you had to go through a shift at your shitty part-time job. No, it wasn't because you had nothing else to do all day except lay around because it's still summer break. It's a shitty day because you had gone through a break up.
Three years down the drain. It was, truly, no one's fault. People change, and it wasn't working out. So you had to end it.
It wasn't messy, no no, not in the slightest. Your partner was actually quite understanding and agreed to stay friends.. But god, it.. It's not a good feeling. That feeling of emptiness in your life. When you could have been spending time with your ex, you're doomscrolling. Time you could've talked through problems, you're crying.
You curled yourself up onto the couch in the common area of the Watchtower. Thankfully, almost all of the team was out. Yelena, Walker, and Ava were out on a mission. Alexei and Bob were out doing some.. Thing. Who knew? And Bucky.. Well, you had no idea either.
Look, you were a stray that they brought along because Bucky took you in after the Blip. It wasn't like you were superhuman like the others. God, that thought just made you hug your knees tighter.
"I really am pathetic." You muttered to youeself through tear filled eyes. As you squinted your eyes to the TV, watching Brooklyn 99 for one of the last times before it leaves Netflix, you heard the elevator ding.
You prayed it was Yelena, John and Ava. They were the most likely to ignore you because of the groginess of their mission.
God isn't that kind to you, however.
"I'm back." Bucky's voice carriwd through the empty tower. He kicked his boots off and hung his jacket on the rack before staring at the small lump of blanket on the couch. ".. Bob?"
"No, it's me." You called back, pathetically wiping your eyes to try and dry them.
"Shit, kid, what happened?" In long strids, Bucky walked up and sat right besides you, his flesh arm coming to wrap around your shoulders. "I thought you were out on a date today. Why the long face?"
With big eyes, you looked up at him and the tears started running down your cheeks even harder than before. You clung to him like a child would cling to their mothers.
"I- I broke up with them-" you managed to say through choked sobs. "I don't- I don't even- I-"
"Woah, hey, pump the breaks," He pulled you away just the smallest bit, enough or there to be a big enough gap for him to hold both your shoulders with both hands. "What? I thought.."
You shook your head and started to ezplain as best you could. How, despite everything, it all just.. Ended. How you'd wanted to break up for a while, but couldn't until now. How.. You wished they were a bad person, to justify why you wanted to break up.. How you couldn't other than the fact that it just didn't work.
"Oh.. Kid." Bucky muttered as he pulled you into a hug. Patting your back as he pressed a small kiss to the top of your head. "I'm sorry, kid. I.. I know how hard break ups are. Even being the one ending it. But, y'know what?"
You pulled away a small bit to look up at the soft, comforting smile on his lips as he said; "I'm so proud of you. You are so brave for knowing your limit. Look.. You took a shot with this relationship, and it didn't end up in marriage. Big deal. What matters, is that you put in all the love you can give. What matters is that it meant something to you and your ex. The fact that it was hard to break up and that you're sad now just shows that it was a good relationship."
He pulled you into another embrace and he let you sob into his shirt. Bucky knew how hard this is on you, he knew how long it'll take for you to move on. Maybe you won't move on until the next life threatening mission, who knows!
But..
"I'll always be here for you, kid. I love you, and you deserve to be with someone who makes you a hundred and ten percent happy."
You looked up at him and gave a strained smile before going back to clinging onto him. It felt ad though everything was changing around here. But there's one thing that won't change; the fact that James Buchanan Barnes chose you to be his kid, the fact that he'll always be there for you - and if you need it - he'll let you drown everything out with sitcoms, ice cream, and his arms wrapped around you.
|| i want you to guess who just got out of a relationship. meeee. i was the one to end things, and if you can't tell this fic is veryyyy self indulgent. sigh, bucky barnes you'll always be my comfort.
#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x reader#bucky fanfic#bucky barnes x male reader#bucky x male reader#bucky x you#james bucky barnes#bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky#james bucky buchanan barnes#james buchanan bucky barnes#bucky x y/n#bucky x female reader#bucky comfort#hurt/comfort#bucky + reader
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